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THE ARABIAN NIGHTS' ENTERTAINMENTS
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Illustrated by Edmund Dulac
Edmund Dulac
(born Edmond Dulac, October 22, 1882 – May 25, 1953)
was a French book illustrator prominent during the so called "Golden Age
of Illustration"
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THE ARABIAN NIGHTS
Sir Richard Burton, translator
1850
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KHALIFAH THE FISHERMAN OF BAGHDAD
THERE was once in tides of yore and in ages and times long gone
before in the city of Baghdad a fisherman, Khalifah hight, a pauper
wight, who had never once been married in all his days. It chanced one
morning that he took his net and went with it to the river as was his
wont, with the view of fishing before the others came. When he reached
the bank, he girt himself and tucked up his skirts. Then stepping into
the water, he spread his net and cast it a first cast and a second, but
it brought up naught. He ceased not to throw it till he had made ten
casts, and still naught came up therein, wherefore his breast was
straitened and his mind perplexed concerning his case and he said: "I
crave pardon of God the Great, there is no god but He, the Living, the
Eternal, and unto Him I repent. There is no Majesty and there is no
Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great! Whatso He willeth is and
whatso He nilleth is not! Upon Allah (to Whom belong Honor and Glory!)
dependeth daily bread! When as He giveth to His servant, none denieth
him; and when as He denieth a servant, none giveth to him." And of the
excess of his distress, he recited these two couplets:
"An Fate afflict thee, with grief manifest,
Prepare thy patience and make broad thy breast;
For of His grace the Lord of all the worlds
Shall send to wait upon unrest sweet Rest."
Then he said in his mind, "I will make this one more cast, trusting
in Allah, so haply He may not disappoint my hope." And he rose, and
casting into the river the net as far as his arm availed, gathered the
cords in his hands and waited a full hour, after which he pulled at it
and, finding it heavy, handled it gently and drew it in, little by
little, till he got it ashore, when lo and behold! he saw in it a
one-eyed, lame-legged ape. Seeing this, quoth Khalifah: "There is no
Majesty and there is no Might save in Allah Verily, we are Allah's and
to Him we are returning! What meaneth this heartbreaking, miserable ill
luck and hapless fortune? What is come to me this blessed day? But all
this is of the destinies of Almighty Allah!" Then he took the ape and
tied him with a cord to a tree which grew on the riverbank, and grasping
a whip he had with him, raised his arm in the air, thinking to bring
down the scourge upon the quarry, when Allah made the ape speak with a
fluent tongue, saying: "O Khalifah, hold thy hand and beat me not, but
leave me bounden to this tree and go down to the river and cast thy net,
confiding in Allah; for He will give thee thy daily bread."
Hearing this, Khalifah went down to the river, and casting his net,
let the cords run out. Then he pulled it in and found it heavier than
before, so he ceased not to tug at it till he brought it to land, when,
behold, there was another ape in it, with front teeth wide apart,
kohl-darkened eyes, and hands stained with henna dyes; and he was
laughing, and wore a tattered waistcloth about his middle. Quoth
Khalifah, "Praised be Allah Who hath changed the fish of the river into
apes!" Then, going up to the first ape, who was still tied to the tree,
he said to him: "See, O unlucky, how fulsome was the counsel thou gavest
me! None but thou made me light on this second ape; and for that thou
gavest me good morrow with thy one eye and thy lameness, I am become
distressed and weary, without dirham or dinar."
So saying, he hent in hand a stick and flourishing it thrice in the
air, was about to come down with it upon the lame ape, when the creature
cried out for mercy and said to him: "I conjure thee, by Allah, spare me
for the sake of this my fellow, and seek of him thy need; for he will
guide thee to thy desire!" So he held his hand from him, and throwing
down the stick, went up to and stood by the second ape, who said to him:
"O Khalifah, this my speech will profit thee naught except thou hearken
to what I say to thee; but an thou do my bidding and cross me not, I
will be the cause of thine enrichment." Asked Khalifah, "And what hast
thou to say to me that I may obey thee therein?" The ape answered,
"Leave me bound on the bank and hie thee down to the river, then cast
thy net a third time, and after I will tell thee what to do."
So he took his net, and going down to the river, cast it once more
and waited awhile. Then he drew it in, and finding it heavy, labored at
it and ceased not his travail till he got it ashore, when he found in it
yet another ape. But this one was red, with a blue waistcloth about his
middle; his hands and feet were stained with henna and his eyes
blackened with kohl When Khalifah saw this, he exclaimed: "Glory to God
the Great! Extolled be the perfection of the Lord of Dominion! Verily,
this is a blessed day from first to last Its ascendant was fortunate in
the countenance of the first ape, and the scroll is known by its
superscription! Verily, today is a day of apes. There is not a single
fish left in the river, and we are come out today but to catch monkeys!"
Then he turned to the third ape and said, "And what thing thou also,
O unlucky?" Quoth the ape, "Dost thou not know me, O Khalifah!" and
quoth he, "Not I!" The ape cried, "I am the ape of Abu al-Sa'adat the
Jew, the shroff." Asked Khalifah, "And what dost thou for him?" and the
ape answered, "I give him good morrow at the first of the day, and he
gaineth five ducats; and again at the end of the day, I give him good
even, and he gaineth other five ducats." Whereupon Khalifah turned to
the first ape and said to him: "See, O unlucky, what fine apes other
folk have! As for thee, thou givest me good morrow with thy one eye and
thy lameness and thy ill-omened phiz, and I become poor and bankrupt and
hungry!" So saying, he took the cattle stick, and flourishing it thrice
in the air, was about to come down with it on the first ape, when Abu
al-Sa'adat's ape said to him: "Let him be, O Khalifah. Hold thy hand and
come hither to me, that I may tell thee what to do."
So Khalifah threw down the stick, and walking up to him,'cried, 'And
what hast thou to say to me, O monarch of all monkeys?" Replied the ape:
"Leave me and the other two apes here, and take thy not and cast it into
the river; and whatever cometh up, bring it to me, and I will tell thee
what shall gladden thee." He replied, "I hear and obey," and took the
net and gathered it on his shoulder, reciting these couplets:
"When straitened is my breast I will of my Creator pray,
Who may and can the heaviest weight lighten in easiest way,
For ere man's glance can turn or close his eye by God His grace
Waxeth the broken whole and yieldeth jail its prison prey.
Therefore with Allah one and all of thy concerns commit,
Whose grace and favor men of wit shall nevermore gainsay."
Now when Khalifah had made an end of his verse, he went down to the
river, and casting his net, waited awhile. After which he drew it up and
found therein a fine young fish, with a big head, a tail like a ladle,
and eyes like two gold pieces. When Khalifah saw this fish, he rejoiced,
for he had never in his life caught its like, so he took it, marveling,
and carried it to the ape of Abu al-Sa'adat the Jew, as 'twere he had
gotten possession of the universal world. Quoth the ape, "O Khalifah,
what wilt thou do with this, and with thine ape?" and quoth the
fisherman: "I will tell thee, O monarch of monkeys, all I am about to
do. Know then that first, I will cast about to make away with yonder
accursed, my ape, and take thee in his stead, and give thee every day to
eat of whatso thou wilt." Rejoined the ape: "Since thou hast made choice
of me, I will tell thee how thou shalt do wherein, if it please Allah
Almighty, shall be the mending of thy fortune. Lend thy mind, then, to
what I say to thee and 'tis this! Take another cord and tie me also to a
tree, where leave me and go to the midst of the dike and cast thy net
into the Tigris. Then after waiting awhile, draw it up and thou shalt
find therein a fish than which thou never sawest a finer in thy whole
life. Bring it to me and I will tell thee how thou shalt do after this."
So Khalifah rose forthright, and casting his net into the Tigris,
drew up a great catfish the bigness of a lamb. Never had he set eyes on
its like, for it was larger than the first fish. He carried it to the
ape, who said to him: "Gather thee some green grass and set half of it
in a basket; lay the fish therein and cover it with the other moiety.
Then, leaving us here tied, shoulder the basket and betake thee to
Baghdad. If any bespeak thee or question thee by the way, answer him
not, but fare on till thou comest to the market street of the
money-changers, at the upper end whereof thou wilt find the shop of
Master Abu al-Sa'adat the Jew, Sheikh of the shroffs, and wilt see him
sitting on a mattress, with a cushion behind him and two collers, one
for gold and one for silver, before him, while around him stand his
Mamelukes and Negro slaves and servant lads. Go up to him and set the
basket before him, saying: 'O Abu al-Sa'adat, verily I went out today to
fish and cast my net in thy name, and Allah Almighty sent me this fish.'
He will ask, 'Hast thou shown it to any but me?' and do thou answer,
'No, by Allah!' Then will he take it of thee and give thee a dinar. Give
it him back and he will give thee two dinars; but do thou return them
also, and so do with everything he may offer thee; and take naught from
him, though he give thee the fish's weight in gold.
Then will he say to thee, 'Tell me what thou wouldst have, and do
thou reply, 'By Allah, I will not sell the fish save for two words!' He
will ask, 'What are they?' And do thou answer, 'Stand up and say, "Bear
witness, O ye who are present in the market, that I give Khalifah the
fisherman my ape in exchange for his ape, and that I barter for his lot
my lot and luck for his luck." This is the price of the fish, and I have
no need of gold.' If he do this, I will every day give thee good morrow
and good even, and every day thou shalt gain ten dinars of good gold;
whilst this one-eyed, lame-legged ape shall daily give the Jew good
morrow, and Allah shall afflict him every day with an avanie which he
must needs pay, nor will he cease to be thus afflicted till he is
reduced to beggary and hath naught. Hearken then to my words, so shalt
thou prosper and be guided aright."
Quoth Khalifah: "I accept thy counsel, O monarch of all the monkeys!
But as for this unlucky, may Allah never bless him! I know not what to
do with him." Quoth the ape, "Let him go into the water, and let me go
also." "I hear and obey," answered Khalifah, and unbound the three apes,
and they went down into the river. Then he took up the catfish, which he
washed, then laid it in the basket upon some green grass, and covered it
with other, and lastly, shouldering his load, set out with the basket
upon his shoulder and ceased not faring till he entered the city of
Baghdad. And as he threaded the streets the folk knew him and cried out
to him, saying, "What hast thou there, O Khalifah?" But he paid no heed
to them and passed on till he came to the market street of the
money-changers and fared between the shops, as the ape had charged him,
till he found the Jew seated at the upper end, with his servants in
attendance upon him, as he were a King of the Kings of Khorasan. He knew
him at first sight; so he went up to him and stood before him, whereupon
Abu al-Sa'adat raised his eyes and recognizing him, said: "Welcome, O
Khalifah! What wantest thou, and what is thy need? If any have missaid
thee or spited thee, tell me and I will go with thee to the Chief of
Police, who shall do thee justice on him." Replied Khalifah: "Nay, as
thy head liveth, O chief of the Jews, none hath missaid me. But I went
forth this morning to the river and, casting my net into the Tigris on
thy luck, brought up this fish."
Therewith he opened the basket and threw the fish before the Jew, who
admired it and said, the Pentateuch and the Ten Commandments, I dreamt
last night that the Virgin came to me and said, 'Know, O Abu al-Sa'adat,
that I have sent thee a pretty present!' And doubtless 'tis this fish."
Then he turned to Khalifah and said to him, "By thy faith, hath any seen
it but I?" Khalifah replied, "No, by Allah, and by Abu Bakr the
Veridical, none hath seen it save thou, O chief of the Jews!" Whereupon
the Jew turned to one of his lads and said to him: "Come, carry this
fish to my house and bid Sa'adah dress it and fry and broil it, against
I make an end of my business and hie me home." And Khalifah said, "Go, O
my lad, let the master's wife fry some of it and broil the rest."
Answered the boy, "I hear and I obey, O my lord," and, taking the fish,
went away with it to the house.
Then the Jew put out his hand and gave Khalifah the fisherman a
dinar, saying, "Take this for thyself, O Khalifah, and spend it on thy
family." When Khalifah saw the dinar on his palm, he took it, saying,
"Laud to the Lord of Dominion!" as if he had never seen aught of gold in
his life, and went somewhat away. But before he had gone far, he was
minded of the ape's charge and turning back, threw down the ducat,
saying: "Take thy gold and give folk back their fish! Dost thou make a
laughingstock of folk?" The Jew, hearing this, thought he was jesting,
and offered him two dinars upon the other, but Khalifah said: "Give me
the fish, and no nonsense. How knewest thou I would sell it at this
price?" Whereupon the Jew gave him two more dinars and said, "Take these
five ducats for thy fish and leave greed." So Khalifah hent the five
dinars in hand and went away, rejoicing, and gazing and marveling at the
gold and saying: "Glory be to God! There is not with the Caliph of
Baghdad what is with me this day!"
Then he ceased not faring on till he came to the end of the market
street, when he remembered the words of the ape and his charge, and
returning to the Jew, threw him back the gold. Quoth he: "What aileth
thee, O Khalifah? Dost thou want silver in exchange for gold?" Khalifah
replied: "I want nor dirhams nor dinars. I only want thee to give me
back folk's fish." With this the Jew waxed wroth and shouted out at him,
saying: "O Fisherman, thou bringest me a fish not worth a sequin and I
give thee five for it, yet art thou not content! Art thou Jinn-mad? Tell
me for how much thou wilt sell it." Answered Khalifah, "I will not sell
it for silver nor for gold, only for two sayings thou shalt say me."
When the Jew heard speak of the "two sayings," his eyes sank into his
head, he breathed hard and ground his teeth for rage, and said to him,
"O nail paring of the Moslems, wilt thou have me throw off my faith for
the sake of thy fish, and wilt thou debauch me from my religion and
stultify my belief and my conviction which I inherited of old from my
forebears?" Then he cried out to the servants who were in waiting and
said: "Out on you! Bash me this unlucky rogue's neck and bastinado him
soundly!" So they came down upon him with blows and ceased not beating
him till he fell beneath the shop, and the Jew said to them, "Leave him
and let him rise." Whereupon Khalifah jumped up as if naught ailed him,
and the Jew said to him: "Tell me what price thou asketh for this fish
and I will give it thee; for thou hast gotten but scant good of us this
day." Answered the fisherman, "Have no fear for me, O master, because of
the beating, for I can eat ten donkeys' rations of stick."
The Jew laughed at his words and said, "Allah upon thee, tell me what
thou wilt have and by the right of my faith, I will give it thee!" The
fisherman replied, "Naught from thee will remunerate me for this fish
save the two words whereof I spake." And the Jew said, "Meseemeth thou
wouldst have me become a Moslem." Khalifah rejoined: "By Allah, O Jew,
an thou Islamize, 'twill nor advantage the Moslems nor damage the Jews.
And in like manner, an thou hold to thy misbelief 'twill nor damage the
Moslems nor advantage the Jews. But what I desire of thee is that thou
rise to thy feet and say: 'Bear witness against me, O people of the
market, that I barter my ape for the ape of Khalifah the fisherman and
my lot in the world for his lot and my luck for his luck'." Quoth the
Jew, "If this be all thou desirest, 'twill sit lightly upon me." So he
rose without stay or delay and standing on his feet, repeated the
required words. After which he turned to the fisherman and asked him,
"Hast thou aught else to ask of me?" "No," answered he, and the Jew
said, "Go in peace!"
Hearing this Khalifah sprung to his feet forthright, took up his
basket and net, and returned straight to the Tigris, where he threw his
net and pulled it in. He found it heavy and brought it not ashore but
with travail, when he found it full of fish of all kinds. Presently up
came a woman with a dish, who gave him a dinar, and he gave her fish for
it, and after her a eunuch, who also bought a dinar's worth of fish, and
so forth till he had sold ten dinars' worth. And he continued to sell
ten dinars' worth of fish daily for ten days, till he had gotten a
hundred dinars.
Now Khalifah the fisherman had quarters in the Passage of the
Merchants, and as he lay one night in his lodging much bemused with
hashish, he said to himself: "O Khalifah, the folk all know thee for a
poor fisherman, and now thou hast gotten a hundred golden dinars. Needs
must the Commander of the Faithful, Harun al-Rashid, hear of this from
someone, and haply he will be wanting money and will send for thee and
say to thee: 'I need a sum of money and it hath reached me that thou
hast an hundred dinars, so do thou lend them to me those same.' I shall
answer, 'O Commander of the Faithful, I am a poor man, and whoso told
thee that I had a hundred dinars lied against me, for I have naught of
this.' Thereupon be will commit me to the Chief of Police, saying,
'Strip him of his clothes and torment him with the bastinado till he
confess and give up the hundred dinars in his possession.' Wherefore,
meseemeth to provide against this predicament, the best thing I can do
is to rise forthright and bash myself with the whip, so to use myself to
beating." And his hashish said to him, "Rise, doff thy dress."
So he stood up, and putting off his clothes, took a whip he had by
him and set handy a leather pillow. Then he fell to lashing himself,
laying every other blow upon the pillow and roaring out the while-:
"Alas! Alas! By Allah, 'tis a false saying, O my lord, and they have
lied against me, for I am a poor fisherman and have naught of the goods
of the world!" The noise of the whip falling on the pillow and on his
person resounded in the still of night and the folk heard it, and
amongst others the merchants, and they said: "Whatever can ail the poor
fellow, that he crieth and we hear the noise of blows falling on him?
'Twould seem robbers have broken in upon him and are tormenting him."
Presently they all came forth of their lodgings at. the noise of the
blows and the crying, and repaired to Khalifah's room, but they found
the door locked and said one to other: "Belike the robbers have come in
upon him from the back of the adjoining saloon. It behooveth us to climb
over by the roofs."
So they clomb over the roofs, and coming down through the skylight,
saw him naked and flogging himself, and asked him, "What aileth thee, O
Khalifah?" He answered: "Know, O folk, that I have gained some dinars
and fear lest my case be carried up to the Prince of True Believers,
Harun al-Rashid, and he send for me and demand of me those same gold
pieces; whereupon I should deny, and I fear that if I deny, he will
torture me, so I am torturing myself, by way of accustoming me to what
may come." The merchants laughed at him and said: "Leave this fooling.
May Allah not bless thee and the dinars thou hast gotten! Verily thou
hast disturbed us this night and hast troubled our hearts."
So Khalifah left flogging himself and slept till the morning, when he
rose and would have gone about his business, but bethought him of his
hundred dinars and said in his mind: "An I leave them at home, thieves
will steal them, and if I put them in a belt about my waist,
peradventure someone will see me and lay in wait for me till he come
upon me in some lonely place and slay me and take the money. But I have
a device that should serve me well, right well." So he jumped up
forthright and made him a pocket in the collar of his gabardine, and
tying the hundred dinars up in a purse, laid them in the collar pocket.
Then he took his net and basket and staff and went down to the Tigris,
where he made a cast, but brought up naught. So he removed from that
place to another and threw again, but once more the net came up empty.
And he went on removing from place to place till he had gone half a
day's journey from the city, ever casting the net, which kept bringing
up naught. So he said to himself, "By Allah, I will throw my net
a-stream but this once more, whether ill come of it or weal!"
Then he hurled the net with all his force, of the excess of his
wrath, and the purse with the hundred dinars flew out of his collar
pocket and, lighting in midstream, was carried away by the strong
current. Whereupon he threw down the net, and doffing his clothes, left
them on the bank and plunged into the water after the purse. He dived
for it nigh a hundred times, till his strength was exhausted and he came
up for sheer fatigue, without chancing on it. When he despaired of
finding the purse, he returned to the shore, where he saw nothing but
staff, net, and basket and sought for his clothes but could light on no
trace of them. So he said in himself: "O vilest of those wherefor was
made the byword: 'The pilgrimage is not perfected save by copulation
with the camel!"' Then he wrapped the net about him, and taking staff in
one hand and basket in other, went trotting about like a camel in rut,
running right and left and backward and forward, disheveled and dusty,
as he were a rebel Marid let loose from Solomon's prison.
So far for what concerns the fisherman Khalifah; but as regards the
Caliph Harun al-Rashid, he had a friend, a jeweler called Ibn al-Kirnas,
and all the traders, brokers, and middlemen knew him for the Caliph's
merchant. Wherefore there was naught sold in Baghdad by way of rarities
and things of price or Mamelukes or handmaidens but was first shown to
him. As he sat one day in his shop, behold, there came up to him the
Sheikh of the brokers, with a slave girl whose like seers never saw, for
she was of passing beauty and loveliness, symmetry and perfect grace,
and among her gifts that she knew all arts and sciences and could make
verses and play upon all manner musical instruments. So Ibn al-Kirnas
bought her for five thousand golden dinars and clothed her with other
thousand. After which he carried her to the Prince of True Believers,
with whom she lay the night, and who made trial of her in every kind of
knowledge and accomplishment and found her versed in all sorts of arts
and sciences, having no equal in her time. Her name was Kut al-Kulub and
she was even as saith the poet:
I fix my glance on her, whene'er she wends,
And nonacceptance of my glance breeds pain.
She favors graceful-necked gazelle at gaze,
And "Graceful as gazelle" to say we're fain.
On the morrow the Caliph sent for Ibn al-Kirnas, the jeweler, and
bade him receive ten thousand dinars to her price. And his heart was
taken up with the slave girl Kut al-Kulub and he forsook the Lady
Zubaydah bint al-Kasim, for all she was the daughter of his father's
brother, and he abandoned all his favorite concubines and abode a whole
month without stirring from Kut al-Kulub's side save to go to the Friday
prayers and return to her all in haste. This was grievous to the lords
of the realm and they complained thereof to the Wazir Ja'afar the
Barmecide, who bore with the Commander of the Faithful and waited till
the next Friday, when he entered the cathedral mosque and, forgathering
with the Caliph, related to him all that occurred to him of
extraordinary stories anent seld-seen love and lovers, with intent to
draw out what was in his mind.
Quoth the Caliph, "By Allah, O Ja'afar, this is not of my choice, but
my heart is caught in the snare of love and wot I not what is to be
done!" The Wazir Ja'afar replied: "O Commander of the Faithful, thou
knowest how this girl Kut al-Kulub is become at thy disposal and of the
number of thy servants, and that which hand possesseth soul coveteth
not. Moreover, I will tell thee another thing, which is that the highest
boast of kings and princes is in hunting and the pursuit of sport and
victory; and if thou apply thyself to this, perchance it will divert
thee from her, and it may be thou wilt forget her." Rejoined the Caliph:
"Thou sayest well, O Ja'afar. Come let us go a-hunting forthright,
without stay or delay." So soon as Friday prayers were prayed, they left
the mosque, and at once mounting their she-mules, rode forth to the
chase, occupied with talk, and their attendants outwent them.
Presently the heat became overhot and Al-Rashid said to his Wazir, "O
Ja'afar, I am sore athirst." Then he looked around, and espying a figure
in the distance on a high mound, asked Ja'afar, "Seest thou what I see?"
Answered the Wazir: "Yes; O Commander of the Faithful. I see a dim
figure on a high mound. Belike he is the keeper of a garden or of a
cucumber plot, and in whatso wise water will not be lacking in his
neighborhood," presently adding, "I will go to him and fetch thee some."
But Al-Rashid said: "My mule is swifter than thy mule, so do thou abide
here, on account of the troops, whilst I go myself to him and get of
this person drink and return." So saying, he urged his she-mule, which
started off like racing wind or railing water, and in the twinkling of
an eye made the mound, where he found the figure he had, seen to be none
other than Khalifah the fisherman, naked and wrapped in the net.
And indeed he was horrible to behold, as to and fro he rolled with
eyes for very redness like cresset gleam and dusty hair in disheveled
trim, as he were, Ifrit or a lion grim. Al-Rashid saluted him and he
returned his salutation, but he was wroth, and fires might have been lit
at his breath. Quoth the Caliph, "O man, hast thou any water?" and quote
Khalifah: "How, thou, art thou blind, or Jinnmad? Get thee to the river
Tigris, for 'tis behind this mound." So Al-Rashid went around the mound,
and going down to the river, drank and watered his mule. Then without a
moment's delay he returned to Khalifah and said to him, "What aileth
thee, O man, to stand here, and what is thy calling.?" The fisherman
cried: "This is a stranger and sillier question than that about the
water! Seest thou not the gear of my craft on my shoulder?" Said the
Caliph, "Belike thou art a fisherman?" and he replied, "Yes." Asked
Al-Rashid, "Where is thy gabardine, and where are thy waistcloth and
girdle, and where be the rest of thy raiment?"
Now these were the very things which had been taken from Khalifah,
like for like, so when he heard the Caliph name them, he got into his
head that it was he who had stolen his clothes from the riverbank, and
coming down from the top of the mound, swiftlier than the blinding
levin, laid hold of the mule's bridle, saying, "Hark ye, man, bring me
back my things and leave jesting and joking." Al-Rashid replied, "By
Allah, I have not seen thy clothes, nor know aught of them!" Now the
Caliph had large cheeks and a small mouth, so Khalifah said to him:
"Belike thou art by trade a singer, or a piper on pipes? But bring me
back my clothes fairly and without more ado, or I will bash thee with
this my staff till thou bepiss thyself and befoul thy clothes." When
Al-Rashid saw the staff in the fisherman's hand and that he had the
vantage of him, he said to himself, "By Allah, I cannot brook from this
mad beggar half a blow of that staff!" Now he had on a satin gown, so he
pulled it off and gave it to Khalifah, saying, "O man, take this in
place of thy clothes." The fisherman took it and turned it about and
said, "My clothes are worth ten of this painted aba cloak," and rejoined
the Caliph, "Put it on till I bring thee thy gear."
So Khalifah donned the gown, but finding it too long for him, took a
knife he had with him tied to the handle of his basket, and cut off nigh
a third of the skirt, so that it fell only beneath his knees. Then he
turned to Al-Rashid and said to him, "Allah upon thee, O piper, tell me
what wage thou gettest every month from thy master, for thy craft of
piping." Replied the Caliph, "My wage is ten dinars a month," and
Khalifah continued: "By Allah, my poor fellow, thou makest me sorry for
thee! Why, I make thy ten dinars every day! Hast thou a mind to take
service with me, and I will teach thee the art of fishing and share my
gain with thee? So shalt thou make five dinars a day and be my slavey
and I will protect thee against thy master with this staff." Quoth
Al-Rashid, "I will well," and quoth Khalifah: "Then get off thy she-ass
and tie her up, so she may serve us to carry the fish hereafter, and
come hither, that I may teach thee to fish forthright."
So Al-Rashid alighted, and hobbling his mule, tucked his skirts into
his girdle, and Khalifah said to him, "O piper, lay hold of the net thus
and put it over thy forearm thus and cast it into the Tigris thus."
Accordingly the Caliph took heart of grace and, doing as the fisherman
showed him, threw the net and pulled at it, but could not draw it up. So
Khalifah came to his aid and tugged at it with him, but the two together
could not hale it up. Whereupon said the fisherman: "O piper of
ill-omen, for the first time I took thy gown in place of my clothes, but
this second time I will have thine ass and will beat thee to boot till
thou bepiss and beskit thyself, an I find my net torn." Quoth Al-Rashid,
"Let the twain of us pull at once." So they both pulled together, and
succeeded with difficulty in hauling that net ashore, when they found it
full of fish of all kinds and colors, and Khalifah said to Al-Rashid:
"By Allah, O piper, thou art foul of favor but an thou apply thyself to
fishing, thou wilt make a mighty fine fisherman. But now 'twere best
thou bestraddle thine ass and make for the market and fetch me a pair of
frails, and I will look after the fish till thou return, when I and thou
will load it on thine ass's back. I have scales and weights and all we
want, so we can take them with us, and thou wilt have nothing to do but
to hold the scales and punch the price. For here we have fish worth
twenty dinars. So be fast with the frails and loiter not."
Answered the Caliph, "I hear and obey" and mounting, left him with
his fish, and spurred his mule, in high good humor, and ceased not
laughing over his adventure with the fisherman till he came up to
Ja'afar, who said to him, "O Commander of the Faithful, belike when thou
wentest down to drink, thou foundest a pleasant flower garden and
enteredst and tookest thy pleasure therein alone?" At this Al-Rashid
fell a laughing again and all the Barmecides rose and kissed the ground
before him, saying: "O Commander of the Faithful, Allah make joy to
endure for thee and do away annoy from thee! What was the cause of thy
delaying when thou faredst to drink, and what hath befallen thee?" Quoth
the Caliph, "Verily, a right wondrous tale and a joyous adventure and a
wondrous hath befallen me.
And he repeated to them what had passed between himself and the
fisherman and his words, "Thou stolest my clothes!" and how he had given
him his gown and how he had cut off a part of it, finding it too long
for him. Said Ja'afar, "By Allah, O Commander of the Faithful, I had it
in mind to beg the gown of thee, but now I will go straight to the
fisherman and buy it of him." The Caliph replied, "By Allah, he hath cut
off a third part of the skirt and spoilt it! But, O Ja'afar, I am tired
with fishing in the river, for I have caught great store of fish, which
I left on the bank with my master Khalifah, and he is watching them and
waiting for me to return to him with a couple of frails and a matchet.
Then we are to go, I and he, to the market and sell the fish and share
the price." Ja'afar rejoined, "O Commander of the Faithful, I will bring
you a purchaser for your fish." And Al-Rashid retorted: "O Ja'afar, by
the virtue of my holy forefathers, whoso bringeth me one of the fish
that are before Khalifah, who taught me angling, I will give him for it
a gold dinar!" So the crier proclaimed among the troops that they should
go forth and buy fish for the Caliph, and they all arose and made for
the riverside.
Now while Khalifah was expecting the Caliph's return with the two
frails, behold, the Mamelukes swooped down upon him like vultures and
took the fish and wrapped them in gold-embroidered kerchiefs, beating
one another in their eagerness to get at the fisherman Whereupon quoth
Khalifah, "Doubtless these are the fish of Paradise!" and hending two
fish right hand and left, plunged into the water up to his neck and fell
a-saying, "O Allah, by the virtue of these fish, let Thy servant the
piper, my partner, came to me at this very moment." And suddenly up to
him came a black slave which was the chief of the Caliph's Negro
eunuchs. He had tarried behind the rest, by reason of his horse having
stopped to make water by the way, and finding that naught remained of
the fish, little or much, looked right and left till he espied Khalifah
standing in the stream with a fish in either hand, and said to him,
"Come hither, O Fisherman!" But Khalifah replied, "Begone and none of
your impudence!" So the eunuch went up to him and said, "Give me the
fish and I will pay thee their price." Replied the fisherman: "Art thou
little of wit? I will not sell them." Therewith the eunuch drew his mace
upon him, and Khalifah cried out, saying: "Strike not, O loon! Better
largess than the mace."
So saying, he threw the two fishes to the eunuch, who took them and
laid them in his kerchief. Then he put hand in pouch, but found not a
single dirham, and said to Khalifah: "O fisherman, verily thou art out
of luck for, by Allah, I have not a silver about me! But come tomorrow
to the palace of the Caliphate and ask for the eunuch Sandal, whereupon
the castratos will direct thee to me, and by coming thither thou shalt
get what falleth to thy lot and therewith wend thy ways." Quoth
Khalifah, "Indeed, this is a blessed day, and its blessedness was
manifest from the first of it!"
Then he shouldered his net and returned to Baghdad, and as he passed
through the streets, the folk saw the Caliph's gown on him and stared at
him till he came to the gate of his quarter, by which was the shop of
the Caliph's tailor. When the man saw him wearing dress of the apparel
of the Caliph, worth a thousand dinars, he said to him, "O Khalifah,
whence hadst thou that gown?" Replied the fisherman: "What aileth thee
to be impudent? I had it of one whom I taught to fish and who is become
my apprentice. I forgave him the cutting off of his hand for that he
stole my clothes and gave me this cape in their place." So the tailor
knew that the Caliph had come upon him as he was fishing and jested with
him and given him the gown.
Such was his case, but as regards Harun al-Rashid, he had gone out
a-hunting and a-fishing only to divert his thoughts from the damsel Kut
al-Kulub. But when Zubaydah heard of her and of the Caliph's devotion to
her, the lady was fired with the jealousy which the more especially
fireth women, so that she refused meat and drink and rejected the
delights of sleep, and awaited the Caliph's going forth on a journey or
what not, that she might set a snare for the damsel. So when she learnt
that he was gone hunting and fishing, she bade her women furnish the
palace fairly and decorate it splendidly and serve up viands and
confections. And amongst the rest she made a China dish of the daintiest
sweetmeats that can be made, wherein she had put bhang.
Then she ordered one of her eunuchs go to the damsel Kut al-Kulub and
bid her to the banquet, saying: "The Lady Zubaydah bint alKasim, the
wife of the Commander of the Faithful, hath drunken medicine today, and
having heard tell of the sweetness of thy singing, longeth to divert
herself with somewhat of thine art." Kut al-Kulub replied, "Hearing and
obedience are due to Allah and the Lady Zubaydah," and rose without stay
or delay, unknowing what was hidden for her in the secret purpose. Then
she took with her what instruments she needed and, accompanying the
eunuch, ceased not faring till she stood in the presence of the
Princess. When she entered she kissed the ground before her again and
again, then rising to her feet, said: "Peace be on the Lady of the
exalted seat and the presence whereto none may avail, daughter of the
house Abbasi and scion of the Prophet's family! May Allah fulfill thee
of peace and prosperity in the days and the years!"
Then she stood with the rest of the women and eunuchs, and presently
the Lady Zubaydah raised her eyes and considered her beauty and
loveliness. She saw a damsel with cheeks smooth as rose and breasts like
granado, a face moon-bright, a brow flower-white, and great eyes black
as night. Her eyelids were languor-dight and her face beamed with light,
as if the sun from her forehead arose and the murks of the night from
the locks of her brow. And the fragrance of musk from her breath
strayed, and flowers bloomed in her lovely face inlaid. The moon beamed
from her forehead and in her slender shape the branches swayed. She was
like the full moon shining in the nightly shade. Her eyes wantoned, her
eyebrows were like a bow arched, and her lips of coral molded. Her
beauty amazed all who espied her and her glances amated all who eyed
her. Glory be to Him Who formed her and fashioned her and perfected her!
Quoth the Lady Zubaydah: "Well come, and welcome and fair cheer to
thee, O Kut al-Kulub! Sit and divert us with thine art and the
goodliness of thine accomplishments." Quoth the damsel, "I hear and I
obey," and rose and exhibited tricks of sleight of hand and legerdemain
and all manner pleasing arts, till the Princess came near to fall in
love with her and said to herself, "Verily, my cousin Al-Rashid is not
to blame for loving her!" Then the damsel kissed ground before Zubaydah
and sat down, whereupon they set food before her. Presently they brought
her the drugged dish of sweetmeats and she ate thereof, and hardly had
it settled in her stomach when her head fell backward and she sank on
the ground sleeping. With this, the lady said to her women, "Carry her
up to one of the chambers, till I summon her," and they replied, "We
hear and we obey. Then said she to one of her eunuchs, "Fashion me a
chest and bring it hitherto to me!" And shortly afterward she bade make
the semblance of a tomb and spread the report that Kut al-Kulub had
choked and died, threatening her familiars that she would smite the neck
of whoever should say, "She is alive."
Now, behold, the Caliph suddenly returned from the chase, and the
first inquiry he made was for the damsel. So there came to him one of
his eunuchs, whom the Lady Zubaydah had charged to declare she was dead
if the Caliph should ask for her and, kissing ground before him, said:
"May thy head live, O my lord! Be certified that Kut al-Kulub choked in
eating and is dead." Whereupon cried Al-Rashid, "God never gladden thee
with good news, O thou bad slave!" and entered the palace, where he
heard of her death from everyone and asked, "Where is her tomb?" So they
brought him to the sepulcher and showed him the pretended tomb, saying,
"This is her burial place." The Caliph, weeping sore for her, abode by
the tomb a full hour, after which he arose and went away, in the utmost
distress and the deepest melancholy.
So the Lady Zubaydah saw that her plot had succeeded, and forthright
sent for the eunuch and said, "Hither with the chest!" He set it before
her, when she bade bring the damsel, and locking her up therein, said to
the eunuch: "Take all pains to sell this chest, and make it a condition
with the purchaser that he buy it locked. Then give alms with its
price." So he took it and went forth to do her bidding.
Thus fared it with these, but as for Khalifah the fisherman, when
morning morrowed and shone with its light and sheen, he said to himself,
"I cannot do aught better today than visit the eunuch who bought the
fish of me, for he appointed me to come to him in the palace of the
Caliphate." So he went forth of his lodging, intending for the palace,
and when he came thither, he found Mamelukes, Negro slaves, and eunuchs
standing and sitting, and looking at them, behold, seated amongst them
was the eunuch who had taken the fish of him, with the white slaves
waiting on him. Presently, one of the Mameluke lads called out to him,
whereupon the eunuch turned to see who he was and lo! it was the
fisherman. Now when Khalifah was ware that he saw him and recognized
him, he said to him: "I have not failed thee, O my little Tulip! On this
wise are men of their word." Hearing his address, Sandal the eunuch
laughed and replied, "By Allah, thou art right, O Fisherman," and put
his hand to his pouch, to give him somewhat. But at that moment there
arose a great clamor. So he raised his head to see what was to do, and
finding that it was the Wazir Ja'afar the Barmecide coming forth from
the Caliph's presence, he rose to him and forewent him, and they walked
about conversing for a longsome time.
Khalifah the fisherman waited awhile, then, growing weary of
standing, and finding that the eunuch took no heed of him, he set
himself in his way and beckoned to him from afar, saying, "O my lord
Tulip, give me my due and let me go!" The eunuch heard him, but was
ashamed to answer him because of the Minister's presence, so he went on
talking with Ja'afar and took no notice whatever of the fisherman.
Whereupon quoth Khalifah: "O slow o' pay! May Allah put to shame all
churls and all who take folk's goods and are niggardly with them! I put
myself under thy protection, O my lord Bran-belly, to give me my due and
let me go!" The eunuch heard him, but was ashamed to answer him before
Ja'afar, and the Minister saw the fisherman beckoning and talking to
him, though he knew not what he was saying. So he said to Sandal,
misliking his behavior, "O Eunuch, what would yonder beggar with thee?"
Sandal replied, "Dost thou not know him, O my lord the Wazir?" and
Ja'afar answered: "By Allah I know him not! How should I know a man I
have never seen but at this moment?"
Rejoined the Eunuch: "O my lord, this is the fisherman whose fish we
seized on the banks of the Tigris. I came too late to get any and was
ashamed to return to the Prince of True Believers emptyhanded when all
the Mamelukes had some. Presently I espied the fisherman standing in
midstream, calling on Allah, with four fishes in his hands, and said to
him, 'Give me what thou hast there and take their worth.' He handed me
the fish and I put my hand into my pocket, purposing to gift him with
somewhat, but found naught therein and said, 'Come to me in the palace,
and I will give thee wherewithal to aid thee in thy poverty.' So he came
to me today and I was putting hand to pouch, that I might give him
somewhat, when thou camest forth and I rose to wait on thee and was
diverted with thee from him, till he grew tired of waiting. And this is
the whole story how he cometh to be standing here."
The Wazir, hearing this account, smiled and said: "O Eunuch, how is
it that this fisherman cometh in his hour of need and thou satisfiest
him not? Dost thou not know him, O chief of the eunuchs?" "No," answered
Sandal, and Ja'afar said. "This is the master of the Commander of the
Faithful, and his partner and our lord the Caliph hath arisen this
morning strait of breast, heavy of heart, and troubled in thought, nor
is there aught will broaden his breast save this fisherman. So let him
not go till I crave the Caliph's pleasure concerning him and bring him
before him. Perchance Allah will relieve him of his oppression and
console him for the loss of Kut al-Kulub by means of the fisherman's
presence, and he will give him wherewithal to? better himself, and thou
wilt be the cause of this." Replied Sandal: "O my lord, do as thou wilt,
and may Allah Almighty long continue thee a pillar of the dynasty of the
Commander of the Faithful, whose shadow Allah perpetuate and prosper it,
root and branch!"
Then the Wazir Ja'afar rose up and went in to the Caliph, and Sandal
ordered the Mamelukes not to leave the fisherman, whereupon Khalifah
cried: "How goodly is thy bounty, O Tulip! The seeker is become the
sought. I come to seek my due, and they imprison me for debts in
arrears!" When Ja'afar came into the presence of the Caliph, he found
him sitting with his head bowed earthward, breast straitened and mind
melancholy, humming the verses of the poet:
My blamers instant bid that I for her become consoled,
But I, what can I do, whose heart declines to be controlled?
And how can I in patience bear the loss of lovely maid
When fails me patience for a love that holds with firmest hold!
Ne'er I'll forget her nor the bowl that 'twixt us both went round
And wine of glances maddened me with drunkenness ensouled.
Whenas Ja'afar stood in the presence, he said: "Peace be upon thee, O
Commander of the Faithful, Defender of the honor of the Faith and
descendant of the uncle of the Prince of the Apostles, Allah assain him
and save him and his family one and an!" The Caliph raised his head and
answered, "And on thee be. peace and the mercy of Allah and His
blessings!" Quoth Ja'afar, "With leave of the Prince of True Believers,
his servant would speak without restraint." Asked the Caliph: "And when
was restraint put upon thee in speech, and thou the Prince of Wazirs?
Say what thou wilt." Answered Ja'afar: "When I went out, O my lord, from
before thee, intending for my house, I saw standing at the door thy
master and teacher and partner, Khalifah the fisherman, who was
aggrieved at thee and complained of thee, saying: 'Glory be to God! I
taught him to fish and he went away to fetch me a pair of frails, but
never came back. And this is not the way of a good partner or of a good
apprentice.' So, if thou hast a mind to partnership, well and good; and
if not, tell him, that he may take to partner another."
Now when the Caliph heard these words, he smiled and his straitness
of breast was done away with and he said, "My life on thee, is this the
truth thou sayest, that the fisherman standeth at the door?" and Ja'afar
replied, "By thy life, O Commander of the Faithful, he standeth at the
door." Quoth the Caliph: "O Ja'afar, by Allah, I will assuredly do my
best to give him his due! If Allah at my hands send him misery, he shall
have it, and if prosperity, he shall have it." Then he took a piece of
paper, and cutting it in pieces, said to the Wazir: "O Ja'afar, write
down with thine own hand twenty sums of money, from one dinar to a
thousand, and the names of all kinds of offices and dignities from the
least appointment to the Caliphate; also twenty kinds of punishment,
from the hightest beating to death." "I hear and I obey, O Commander of
the Faithful," answered Ja'afar, and did as he was bidden.
Then said the Caliph: "O Ja'afar, I swear by my holy forefathers and
by my kinship to Hamzah and Akil, that I mean to summon the fisherman
and bid him take one of these papers, whose contents none knoweth save
thou and I. And whatsoever is written in the paper which he shall
choose, I will give it to him. Though it be the Caliphate, I will divest
myself thereof and invest him therewith and grudge it not to him. And on
the other hand, if there be written therein hanging or mutilation or
death, I will execute it upon him. Now go and fetch him to me." When
Ja'afar heard this, he said to himself: "There is no Majesty and there
is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great' It may be somewhat
will fall to this poor wretch's lot that will bring about his
destruction and I shall be the cause. But the Caliph hath sworn, so
nothing remains now but to bring him in, and naught will happen save
whatso Allah willeth." Accordingly he went out to Khalifah the fisherman
and laid hold of his hand, to carry him in to the Caliph, whereupon his
reason fled and he said in himself: "What a stupid I was to come after
yonder ill-omened slave, Tulip, whereby he hath brought me in company
with Bran-belly!" Ja'afar fared on with him, with Mamelukes before and
behind, whilst he said, "Doth not arrest suffice, but these must go
behind and before me, to hinder my making off?" till they had traversed
seven vestibules, when the Wazir said to him: "Mark my words, O
Fisherman! Thou standest before the Commander of the Faithful and
Defender of the Faith!"
Then he raised the great curtain and Khalifah's eyes fell on the
Caliph, who was seated on his couch, with the lords of the realm
standing in attendance upon him. As soon as he knew him, he went up to
him and said: "Well come, and welcome to thee, O piper! 'Twas not right
of thee to make thyself a fisherman and go away, leaving me sitting to
guard the fish, and never to return! For, before I was aware, there came
up Mamelukes on beasts of all manner colors, and snatched away the fish
from me, I standing alone. And this was all of thy fault, for hadst thou
returned with the frails forthright, we had sold a hundred dinars' worth
of fish. And now I come to seek my due, and they have arrested me. But
thou, who hath imprisoned thee also in this place?" The Caliph smiled,
and raising a corner of the curtain, put forth his head and said to the
fisherman, "Come hither and take thee one of these papers." Quoth
Khalifah the fisherman: "Yesterday thou wast a fisherman, and today thou
hast become an astrologer, but the more trades a man hath, the poorer he
waxeth." Thereupon Ja'afar said: "Take the paper at once, and do as the
Commander of the Faithful biddeth thee, without prating."
So he came forward and put forth his hand saying, "Far be it from me
that this piper should ever again be my knave and fish with me!" Then,
taking the paper, he handed it to the Caliph, saying: "O piper, what
hath come out for me therein? Hide naught thereof." So Al-Rashid
received it and passed it on to Ja'afar and said to him, "Read what is
therein." He looked at it and said, "There is no Majesty and there is no
Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great!" Said the Caliph: "Good
news, O Ja'afar? What seest thou therein?" Answered the Wazir: "O
Commander of the Faithful there came up from the paper, 'Let the
Fisherman receive a hundred blows with a stick.'" So the Caliph
commanded to beat the Fisherman and they gave him a hundred sticks,
after which he rose, saying: "Allah damn this, O Branbelly! Are jail and
sticks part of the game?"
Then said Ja'afar: " O Commander of the Faithful, this poor devil is
come to the river, and how shall he go away thirsting? We hope that
among the alms deeds of the Commander of the Faithful he may have leave
to take another paper, so haply somewhat may come out wherewithal he may
succor his poverty." Said the Caliph: "By Allah, O Ja'afar, if he take
another paper and death be written therein, I will assuredly kill him,
and thou wilt be the cause." Answered Ja'afar, "If he die he will be at
rest." But Khalifah the fisherman said to him: "Allah ne'er, gladden
thee with good news! Have I made Baghdad strait upon you, that ye seek
to slay me?" Quoth Ja'afar, "Take thee a paper, and crave the blessing
of Allah Almighty!"
So he put out his hand, and taking a paper, gave it to Ja'afar, who
read it and was silent. The Caliph asked, "Why art thou silent, O son of
Yahya?" and he answered: "O Commander of the Faithful, there hath come
out on this paper, 'Naught shall be given to the fisherman."' Then said
the Caliph: "His daily bread will not come from us. Bid him fare forth
from before our face." Quoth Ja'afar: "By the claims of thy pious
forefathers, let him take a third paper. It may be it will bring him
alimony," and quoth the Caliph, "Let him take one and no more."
So he put out his hand and took a third paper, and behold, therein
was written, "Let the Fisherman be given one dinar." Ja'afar cried to
him, "I sought good fortune for thee, but Allah willed not to thee aught
save this dinar." And Khalifah answered: "Verily, a dinar for every
hundred sticks were rare good luck. May Allah not send thy body health!"
The Caliph laughed at him and Ja'afar took him by the hand and led him
out. When he reached the door, Sandal the eunuch saw him and said to
him: "Hither, O Fisherman! Give us portion of that which the Commander
of the Faithful hath bestowed on thee whilst jesting with thee." Replied
Khalifah: "By Allah, O Tulip, thou art right! Wilt thou share with me, O
nigger? Indeed, I have eaten stick to the tune of a hundred blows and
have earned one dinar, and thou art but too welcome to it." So saying,
he threw him the dinar and went out, with the tears flowing down the
plain of his cheeks.
When the eunuch saw him in this plight, he knew that he had spoken
sooth and called to the lads to fetch him back. So they brought him back
and Sandal, putting his hand to his pouch, pulled out a red purse,
whence he emptied a hundred golden dinars into the fisherman's hand,
saying, "Take this gold in payment of thy fish, and wend thy ways." So
Khalifah, in high good humor, took the hundred ducats and the Caliph's
one dinar and went his way, and forgot the beating.
Now as Allah willed it for the furthering of that which He had
decreed, he passed by the mart of the handmaidens, and seeing there a
mighty ring where many folks were forgathering, said to himself, "What
is this crowd?" So he brake through the merchants and others, who said,
"Make wide the way for Skipper Rapscallion, and let him pass." Then he
looked, and behold, he saw a chest, with a eunuch seated thereon and an
old man standing by it,-and the Sheikh was crying: "O merchants, O men
of money, who will hasten and hazard his coin for this chest of unknown
contents from the palace of the Lady Zubaydah bint al-Kasim, wife of the
Commander of the Faithful? How much shall I say for you? Allah bless you
all!" Quoth one of the merchants; "By Allah, this is a risk! But I will
say one word, and no blame to me. Be it mine for twenty dinars." Quoth
another, "Fifty," and they went on bidding, one against other, till the
price reached a hundred ducats.
Then said the crier, "Will any of you bid more, O merchants?" And
Khalifah the fisherman said, "Be it mine for a hundred dinars and one
dinar." The merchants, hearing these words, thought he was jesting and
laughed at him, saying, "O Eunuch, sell it to Khalifah for a hundred
dinars and one dinar!" Quoth the eunuch: "By Allah, I will sell it to
none but him! Take it, O Fisherman. The Lord bless thee in it, and here
with thy gold." So Khalifah pulled out the ducats and gave them to the
eunuch, who, the bargain being duly made, delivered to him the chest and
bestowed the price in alms on the spot, after which he returned to the
palace and acquainted the Lady Zubaydah with what he had done, whereat
she rejoiced. Meanwhile the fisherman hove the chest on shoulder, but
could not carry it on this wise for the excess of its weight, so he
lifted it onto his head and thus bore it to the quarter where he lived.
Here he set it down, and being weary, sat awhile bemusing what had
befallen him and saying in himself, "Would Heaven I knew what is in this
chest!"
Then he opened the door of his lodging and haled the chest till he
got it into his closet, after which he strove to open it, but failed.
Quoth he: "What folly possessed me to buy this chest? There is no help
for it but to break it open and see what is herein." So he applied
himself to the lock, but could not open it, and said to himself, "I will
leave it till tomorrow." Then he would have stretched him out to sleep,
but could find no room, for the chest filled the whole closet. So he got
upon it and lay him down. But when he had lain awhile, behold, he felt
something stir under him, whereat sleep forsook him and his reason fled.
So he arose and cried: "Meseems there be Jinns in the chest. Praise to
Allah Who suffered me not to open it! For had I done so, they had risen
against me in the dark and slain me, and from them would have befallen
me naught of good."
Then he lay down again, when lo! the chest moved a second time, more
than before, whereupon he sprang to his feet and said: "There it goes
again. But this is terrible!" And he hastened to look for the lamp, but
could not find it and had not the wherewithal to buy another. So he went
forth and cried out, "Ho, people of the quarter!" Now the most part of
the folk were asleep, but they awoke at his crying and asked, "What
aileth thee, O Khalifah?" He answered, "Bring me a lamp, for the Jinn
are upon me." They laughed at him and gave him a lamp, wherewith he
returned to his closet. Then he smote the lock of the chest with a stone
and broke it, and opening it, saw a damsel like a houri lying asleep
within. Now she had been drugged with bhang, but at that moment she
threw up the stuff and awoke. Then she opened her eyes, and feeling
herself confined and cramped, moved. At this sight quoth Khalifah, "By
Allah, O my lady, whence art thou?" and quoth she, "Bring me jessamine,
and narcissus." And Khalifah answered, "There is naught here but henna
flowers."
Thereupon she came to herself, and considering Khalifah, said to him,
"What art thou?" presently adding, "And where am I?" He said, "Thou art
in my lodging." Asked she, "Am I not in the palace of the Caliph Harun
al-Rashid?" And quoth he: "What manner of thing is Al-Rashid? O
madwoman, Thou art naught but my slave girl. I bought thee this very day
for a hundred dinars and one dinar, and brought thee home, and thou wast
asleep in this here chest." When she heard these words she said to him,
"What is thy name?" Said he: "My name is Khalifah. How comes my star to
have grown propitious, when I know my ascendant to have been otherwise?"
She laughed and cried: "Spare me this talk! Hast thou anything to eat?"
Replied he: "No, by Allah, nor yet to drink! I have not eaten these two
days, and am now in want of a morsel." She asked, "Hast thou no money?"
and he said: "Allah keep this chest which hath beggared me. I gave all I
had for it and am become bankrupt."
The damsel laughed at him and said: "Up with thee and seek of thy
neighbors somewhat for me to eat, for I am hungry." So he went forth and
cried out, "Ho, people of the quarter!" Now the folk were asleep, but
they awoke and asked, "What aileth thee, O Khalifah?" Answered he, "O my
neighbors, I am hungry and have nothing to eat." So one came down to him
with a bannock and another with broken meats and a third with a bittock
of cheese and a fourth with a cucumber, and so on till his lap was full
and he returned to his closet and laid the whole between her hands,
saying, "Eat." But she laughed at him, saying: "How can I eat of this
when I have not a mug of water whereof to drink? I fear to choke with a
mouthful and die." Quoth he, "I will fill thee this pitcher." So he took
the pitcher, and going forth, stood 'm the midst of the street and cried
out, saying, "Ho, people of the quarter!" Quoth they, "What calamity is
upon thee tonight, O Khalifah!" And he said, "Ye gave me food and I ate,
but now I am athirst, so give me to drink."
Thereupon one came down to him with a mug and another with an ewer
and a third with a gugglet, and he filled his pitcher, and bearing it
back, said to the damsel, "O my lady, thou lackest nothing now."
Answered she, "True, I want nothing more at this present." Quoth he,
"Speak to me and say me thy story." And quoth she: "Fie upon thee! An
thou knowest me not, I will tell thee who I am. I am Kut al-Kulub, the
Caliph's handmaiden, and the Lady Zubaydah was jealous of me, so she
drugged me with bhang and set me in this chest," presently adding:
"Alhamdolillah- praised be God- for that the matter hath come to easy
issue and no worse! But this befell me not save for thy good luck, for
thou wilt certainly get of the Caliph Al-Rashid money galore, that will
be the means of thine enrichment." Quoth Khalifah, "Is not Al-Rashid he
in whose palace I was imprisoned?" "Yes," answered she, and he said: "By
Allah, never saw I more niggardly wight than he, that piper little of
good and wit! He gave me a hundred blows with a stick yesterday and but
one dinar, for all I taught him to fish and made him my partner, but he
played me false." Replied she: "Leave this unseemly talk, and open thine
eyes and look thou bear thyself respectfully whenas thou seest him after
this, and thou shalt win thy wish."
When he heard her words, it was if he had been asleep and awoke, and
Allah removed the veil from his judgment, because of his good luck, and
he answered, "O my head and eyes!" Then said he to her, "Sleep, in the
name of Allah." So she lay down and fell asleep (and he afar from her)
till the morning, when she sought of him ink case and paper, and when
they were brought, wrote to Ibn al-Kirnas, the Caliph's friend,
acquainting him with her case and how at the end of all that had
befallen her she was with Khalifah the fisherman, who had bought her.
Then she gave him the scroll, saying-"Take this and hie thee to the
jewel market and ask for the shop of Ibn al-Kirnas the Jeweler and give
him this paper, and speak not." "I hear and I obey," answered Khalifah,
and going with the scroll to the market, inquired for the shop of Ibn
al-Kirnas. They directed him thither, and on entering it he saluted the
merchant, who returned his salaam with contempt and said to him, "What
dost thou want?" Thereupon he gave him the letter and he took it, but
read it not, thinking the fisherman a beggar who sought an alms of him,
and said to one of his lads, "Give him half a dirham." Quoth Khalifah:
"I want no alms. Read the paper."
So Ibn al-Kirnas took the letter and read it, and no sooner knew its
import than he kissed it and laid it on his head. Then he arose and said
to Khalifah, "O my brother, where is thy house?" Asked Khalifah: "What
wantest thou with my house? Wilt thou go thither and steal my slave
girl?" Then Ibn al-Kirnas answered: "Not so. On the contrary, I will buy
thee somewhat whereof you may eat, thou and she." So he said, "My house
is in such a quarter," and the merchant rejoined: "Thou hast done well.
May Allah not give thee health, O unlucky one!" Then he called out to
two of his slaves and said to them: "Carry this man to the shop of
Mohsin the shroff and say to him, 'O Mohsin, give this man a thousand
dinars of gold,' then bring him back to me in haste."
So they carried him to the money-changer, who paid him the money, and
returned with him to their master, whom they found mounted on a dapple
she-mule worth a thousand dinars, with Mamelukes and pages about him,
and by his side another mule like his own, saddled and bridled. Quoth
the jeweler to Khalifah, "Bismillah, mount this mule." Replied he, "I
won't, for by Allah, I fear she throw me," and quoth Ibn al-Kirnas, "By
God, needs must thou mount." So he came up, and mounting her, face to
crupper, caught hold of her tail and cried out, whereupon she threw him
on the ground and they laughed at him. But he rose and said, "Did I not
tell thee I would not mount this great jenny-ass?" Thereupon Ibn
al-Kirnas left him in the market, and repairing to the Caliph, told him
of the damsel, after which he returned and removed her to his own house.
Meanwhile Khalifah went home to look after the handmaid and found the
people of the quarter forgathering and saying: "Verily, Khalifah is
today in a terrible pickle! Would we knew whence he can have gotten this
damsel!" Quoth one of them: "He is a mad pimp. Haply he found her lying
on the road drunken, and carried her to his own house, and his absence
showeth that he knoweth his offense." As they were talking, behold, up
came Khalifah, and they said to him: "What a plight is thine, O unhappy!
Knowest thou not what is come to thee?" He replied, "No, by Allah!" and
they said: "But just now there came Mamelukes and took away thy slave
girl whom thou stolest, and sought for thee, but found thee not." Asked
Khalifah, "And how came they to take my slave girl?" and quoth one, "Had
he fallen in their way, they had slain him."
But he, so far from heeding them, returned running to the shop of Ibn
al-Kirnas, whom he met riding, and said to him: "By Allah, 'twas not
right of thee to wheedle me and meanwhile send thy Mamelukes to take my
slave girl!" Replied the jeweler, "O idiot, come with me, and hold thy
tongue." So he took him and carried him into a house handsomely builded,
where he found the damsel seated on a couch of gold, with ten slave
girls like moons round her. Sighting her, Ibn al-Kirnas kissed ground
before her, and she said, "What hast thou done with my new master, who
bought me with all he owned?" He replied, "O my lady, I gave him a
thousand golden dinars,' and related to her Khalifah's history from
first to last, whereat she laughed and said: "Blame him not, for he is
but a common wight. These other thousand dinars are a gift from me to
him, and Almighty Allah willing, he shall win of the Caliph what shall
enrich him."
As they were talking, there came a eunuch from the Commander of the
Faithful in quest of Kut al-Kulub, for when he knew that she was in the
house of Ibn al-Kirnas, he could not endure, the severance, but bade
bring her forthwith. So she repaired to the Palace, taking Khalifah with
her, and going into the presence, kissed ground before the Caliph, who
rose to her, saluting and welcoming her, and asked her how she had fared
with him who had brought her. She replied: "He is a man, Khalifah the
fisherman hight, and there he standeth at the door. He telleth me that
he hath an account to settle with the Commander of the Faithful, by
reason of a partnership between him and the Caliph in fishing." Asked
Al-Rashid, "Is he at the door?" and she answered, "Yes." So the Caliph
sent for him and he kissed ground before him and wished him endurance of
glory and prosperity. The Caliph marveled at him and laughed at him, and
said to him, "O Fisherman, wast thou in very deed my partner yesterday?"
Khalifah took his meaning, and heartening his heart and summoning
spirit, replied: "By Him who bestowed upon thee the succession to thy
cousin, I know her not in anywise and have had no commerce with her save
by way of sight and speech!"
Then he repeated to him all that had befallen him since he last saw
him, whereat the Caliph laughed and his breast broadened and he said to
Khalifah, "Ask of us what thou wilt, O thou who bringest to owners their
own!" But he was silent, so the Caliph ordered him fifty thousand dinars
of gold and a costly dress of honor such as great sovereigns don, and a
she-mule, and gave him black slaves of the Sudan to serve him, so that
he became as he were one of the kings of that time. The Caliph was
rejoiced at the recovery of his favorite and knew that all this was the
doing of his cousin-wife, the Lady Zubaydah, wherefore he, was sore
enraged against her and held aloof from her a great while, visiting her
not, neither inclining to pardon her. When she was certified of this,
she was sore concerned for his wrath, and her face, that was wont to be
rosy, waxed pale and wan till, when her patience was exhausted, she sent
a letter to her cousin, the Commander of the Faithful, making her
excuses to him and confessing her offenses, and ending with these
verses:
I long once more the love that was between us to regain,
That I may quench the fire of grief and bate the force of bane.
O lord of me, have ruth upon the stress my passion deals,
Enough to me is what you doled of sorrow and of pain.
'Tis life to me an deign you keep the troth you deigned to plight,
'Tis death to me an troth you break and fondest vows profane.
Given I've sinned a sorry sin, yet grant me ruth, for naught,
By Allah, sweeter is than friend who is of pardon fain.
When the Lady Zubaydah's letter reached the Caliph, and reading it,
he saw that she confessed her offense and sent her excuses to him
therefor, he said to himself, "Verily, all sins doth Allah forgive-aye,
Gracious, Merciful is He!" And he returned her an answer expressing
satisfaction and pardon and forgiveness for what was past, whereat she
rejoiced greatly.
As for Khalifah the fisherman, the Caliph assigned him a monthly
solde of fifty dinars, and took him into especial favor, which would
lead to rank and dignity, honor and worship. Then he kissed ground
before the Commander of the Faithful and went forth with stately gait.
When he came to the door, the eunuch Sandal, who had given him the
hundred dinars, saw him, and knowing him, said to him, "O Fisherman,
whence all this?" So he told him all that had befallen him, first and
last, whereat Sandal rejoiced, because he had been the cause of his
enrichment, and said to him, "Wilt thou not give me largess of this
wealth which is now become thine?" So Khalifah put hand to pouch and
taking out a purse containing a thousand dinars, gave it to the eunuch,
who said, "Keep thy coins, and Allah bless thee therein!" and marveled
at his manliness and at the liberality of his soul, for all his late
poverty.
Then, leaving the eunuch, Khalifah mounted his she-mule and rode,
with the slaves' hands on her crupper, till he came to his lodging at
the khan, whilst the folk stared at him in surprise for that which had
betided him of advancement. When he alighted from his beast, they
accosted him and inquired the cause of his change from poverty to
prosperity, and he told them an that had happened to him from incept to
conclusion. Then he bought a fine mansion and laid out thereon much
money, till it was perfect in all points. And he took up his abode
therein and was wont to recite thereon these two couplets:
Behold a house that's like the Dwelling of Delight,
Its aspect heals the sick and banishes despite.
Its sojourn for the great and wise appointed is,
And Fortune fair therein abideth day and night.
Then, as soon as he was settled in his house, he sought him in
marriage the daughter of one of the chief men of the city, a handsome
girl, and went in unto her and led a life of solace and satisfaction,
joyaunce and enjoyment; and he rose to passing affluence and exceeding
prosperity. So when he found himself in this fortunate condition, he
offered up thanks to Allah (extolled and excelled be He!) for what He
had bestowed on him of wealth exceeding and of favors ever succeeding,
praising his Lord with the praise of the grateful. And thereafter
Khalifah continued to pay frequent visits to the Caliph Harun al-Rashid,
with whom he found acceptance and who ceased not to overwhelm him with
boons and bounty. And he abode in the enjoyment of the utmost honor and
happiness and joy and gladness, and in riches more than sufficing and in
rank ever rising- brief, a sweet life and a savory, pure as pleasurable,
till there came to him die Destroyer of delights and the Sunderer of
societies. And extolled be the perfection of Him to whom belong glory
and permanence and He is the Living, the Eternal, who shall never die!
And amongst the tales they, tell is one of
|
ABU KIR THE DYER AND ABU SIR THE BARBER
THERE dwelt once, in Alexander city, two men, of whom one was a
dyer, by name of Abu Kir, and the other a barber, Abu Sir, and they were
neighbors in the market street, where their shops stood side by side.
The dyer was a swindler and a liar, an exceeding wicked wight, as if
indeed his head temples were hewn out of a boulder rock or fashioned of
the threshold of a Jewish synagogue, nor was he ashamed of any shameful
work he wrought amongst the folk. It was his wont, when any brought him
cloth for staining, first to require of him payment under pretense of
buying dyestuffs therewith. So the customer would give him the wage in
advance and wend his ways, and the dyer would spend all he received on
meat and drink, after which he would sell the cloth itself as soon as
ever its owner turned his back and waste its worth in eating and
drinking not else, for he ate not but of the daintiest and most delicate
viands nor drank but of the best of that which doth away the wit of man.
And when the owner of the cloth came to him, he would say to him,
"Return to me tomorrow before sunrise and thou shalt find thy stuff
dyed."
So the customer would go away, saying to himself, "One day is near
another day," and return next day at the appointed time, when the dyer
would say to him: "Come tomorrow. Yesterday I was not at work, for I had
with me guests and was occupied with doing what their wants required
till they went, but tomorrow before sunrise come and take thy cloth
dyed." So he would fare forth and return on the third day, when Abu Kir
would say to him: "Indeed yesterday I was excusable, for my wife was
brought to bed in the night, and all day I was busy with manifold
matters, but tomorrow, without fail, come and take thy cloth dyed." When
the man came again at the appointed time, he would put him off with some
other pretense, it mattered little what, and would swear to him, as
often as he came, till the customer lost patience and said, "How often
wilt thou say to me, 'Tomorrow?' Give me my stuff, I will not have it
dyed." Whereupon the dyer would make answer: "By Allah, O my brother, I
am abashed at thee, but I must tell the truth and may Allah harm all who
harm folk in their goods!" The other would exclaim, "Tell me what hath
happened," and Abu Kir would reply: "As for thy stuff, I dyed that same
on matchless wise and hung it on the drying rope, but 'twas stolen and I
know not who stole it." If the owner of the stuff were of the kindly he
would say, "Allah will compensate me," and if he were of the
ill-conditioned, he would haunt him with exposure and insult, but would
get nothing of him, though he complained of him to the judge.
He ceased not doing thus till his report was noised abroad among the
folk and each used to warn other against Abu Kir, who became a byword
amongst them. So they all held aloof from him and none would be
entrapped by him save those who were ignorant of his character; but for
all this, he failed not daily to suffer insult and exposure from Allah's
creatures. By reason of this his trade became slack, and he used to go
to the shop of his neighbor the barber Abu Sir and sit there, facing the
dyery and with his eyes on the door. Whenever he espied anyone who knew
him not standing at the dyery door with a piece of stuff in his hand, he
would leave the barber's booth and go up to him saying, "What seekest
thou, O thou?" and the man would reply, "Take and dye me this thing." So
the dyer would ask, "What color wilt thou have it?" For, with all his
knavish tricks, his hand was in all manner of dyes. But he was never
true to anyone, wherefore poverty had gotten the better of him. Then he
would take the stuff and say, "Give me my wage in advance, and come
tomorrow and take the stuff." So the stranger would advance him the
money and wend his way, whereupon Abu Kir would carry the cloth to the
market street and sell it and with its price buy meat and vegetables and
tobacco and fruit and what not else he needed. But whenever he saw
anyone who had given him stuff to dye standing at the door of his shop,
he would not come forth to him or even show himself to him.
On this wise he abode years and years, till it fortuned one day that
he received cloth to dye from a man of wrath, and sold it and spent the
proceeds. The owner came to him every day, but found him not in his
shop; for whenever he espied anyone who had claim against him, he would
flee from him into the shop of the barber, Abu Sir. At last that angry
man, finding that he was not to be seen and growing weary of such work,
repaired to the kazi, and bringing one of his sergeants to the shop,
nailed up the door, in presence of a number of Moslems, and sealed it,
for that he saw therein naught save some broken pans of earthenware, to
stand him instead of his stuff. After which the sergeant took the key,
saying to the neighbors, "Tell him to bring back this man's cloth, then
come to me and take his shop-key," and went his way, he and the man.
Then said Abu Sir to Abu Kir: "What ill business is this? Whoever
bringeth thee aught, thou losest it for him. What hath become of this
angry man's stuff.?" Answered the dyer, "O my neighbor, 'twas stolen
from me." "Prodigious!" exclaimed the barber. "Whenever anyone giveth
thee aught, a thief stealeth it from thee! Art thou then the meeting
place of every rogue upon town? But I doubt me thou liest, so tell me
the truth." Replied Abu Kir, "O my neighbor, none hath stolen aught from
me." Asked Abu Sir, "What then dost thou with the people's property?"
and the dyer answered, "Whenever anyone giveth me aught to dye, I sell
it and spend the price." Quoth Abu Sir, "Is this permitted thee of
Allah?" and quoth Abu Kir, "I do this only out of poverty, because
business is slack with me and I am poor and have nothing." And he went
on to complain to him of the dullness of his trade and his lack of
means.
Abu Sir in like manner lamented the little profit of his own calling,
saying: "I am a master of my craft and have not my equal in this city,
but no one cometh to me to be polled, because I am a pauper. And I
loathe this art and mystery, O my brother." Abu Kir replied: "And I also
loathe my own craft, by reason of its slackness. But, O my brother, what
call is there for our abiding in this town? Let us depart from it, I and
thou, and solace ourselves in the lands of mankind, carrying in our
hands our crafts which are in demand all the world over. So shall we
breathe the air, and rest from this grievous trouble." And he ceased not
to command travel to Abu Sir till the barber became wishful to set out,
so they agreed upon their route. When they agreed to travel together,
Abu Kir said to Abu Sir: "O my neighbor, we are become brethren and
there is no difference between us, so it behooveth us to recite the
fatihah that he of us who gets work shall of his gain feed him who is
out of work, and whatever is left, we will lay in a chest. And when we
return to Alexandria, we will divide it fairly and equally." "So be it,"
replied Abu Sir, and they repeated the opening chapter of the Koran on
this understanding.
Then Abu Sir locked up his shop and gave the key to its owner, whilst
Abu Kir left his door locked and sealed and let the key lie with the
kazi's sergeant. After which they took their baggage and embarked on the
morrow in a galleon upon the salt sea. They set sail the same day and
fortune attended them, for, of Abu Sir's great good luck, there was not
a barber in the ship, albeit it carried a hundred and twenty men,
besides captain and crew. So when they loosed the sails, the barber said
to the dyer: "O my brother, this is the sea, and we shall need meat and
drink. We have but little provaunt with us and haply the voyage will be
long upon us, wherefore methinks I will shoulder my budget and pass
among the passengers, and maybe someone will say to me, 'Come hither, O
barber, and shave me,' and I will shave him for a scone or a silver bit
or a draught of water. So shall we profit by this, I and thou too."
"There's no harm in that," replied the dyer, and laid down his head and
slept, whilst the barber took his gear and water tasse, and throwing
over his shoulder a rag to serve as napkin (because he was poor), passed
among the passengers.
Quoth one of them, "Ho, master, come and shave me." So he shaved him,
and the man gave him a half-dirham, whereupon quoth Abu Sir: "O my
brother, I have no use for this bit. Hadst thou given me a scone, 'twere
more blessed to me in this sea, for I have a shipmate, and we are short
of provision." So he gave him a loaf and a slice of cheese and filled
him the tasse with sweet water. The barber carried all this to Abu Kir
and said, "Eat the bread and cheese and drink the water." Accordingly he
ate and drank, whilst Abu Sir again took up his shaving gear and, tasse
in hand and rag on shoulder, went round about the deck among the
passengers. One man he shaved for two scones and another for a bittock
of cheese, and he was in demand, because there was no other barber on
board. Also he bargained with everyone who said to him, "Ho, master,
shave me!" for two loaves and a half-dirham, and they gave him whatever
he sought, so that by sundown he had collected thirty loaves and thirty
silvers with store of cheese and olives and botargos. And besides these
he got from the passengers whatever he asked for and was soon in
possession of things galore.
Amongst the rest, he shaved the captain, to whom he complained of his
lack of victual for the voyage, and the skipper said to him, "That art
welcome to bring thy comrade every night and sup with me, and have no
care for that so long as ye sail with us." Then he returned to the dyer,
whom he found asleep. So he roused him, and when Abu Kir awoke, he saw
at his head an abundance of bread and cheese and olives and botargos and
said, "Whence gottest thou all this?" "From the bounty of Allah
Almighty," replied Abu Sir. Then Abu Kir would have fallen to, but the
barber said to him: "Eat not of this, O my brother, but leave it to
serve us another time. For know that I shaved the captain and complained
to him of our lack of victual, whereupon quoth he: 'Welcome to thee!
Bring thy comrade and sup both of ye with me every night.' And this
night we sup with him for the first time."
But Abu Kir replied, "My head goeth round with seasickness and I
cannot rise from my stead, so let me sup off these things and fare thou
alone to the captain." Abu Sir replied, "There is no harm in that," and
sat looking at the other as he ate, and saw him hew off gobbets as the
quarryman heweth stone from the hill quarries and gulp them down with
the gulp of an elephant which hath not eaten for days, bolting another
mouthful ere he had swallowed the previous one and glaring the while at
that which was before him with the glowering of a Ghul, and blowing as
bloweth the hungry bull over his beans and bruised straw. Presently up
came a sailor and said to the barber, "O craftsmaster, the captain
biddeth thee come to supper and bring thy comrade." Quoth the barber to
the dyer, "Wilt thou come with us?" but quoth he, "I cannot walk." So
the barber went by himself and found the captain sitting before a tray
whereon were a score or more of dishes, and all the company were
awaiting him and his mate.
When the captain saw him, he asked, "Where is thy friend?" and Abu
Sir answered, "O my lord, he is seasick." Said the skipper, "That will
do him no harm, his sickness will soon pass off, but do thou carry him
his supper and come back, for we tarry for thee." Then he set apart a
porringer of kababs and putting therein some of each dish, till there
was enough for ten, gave it to Abu Sir, saying, "Take this to thy chum."
He took it and carried it to the dyer, whom he found grinding away with
his dog teeth at the food which was before him, as he were a camel, and
heaping mouthful on mouthful in his hurry. Quoth Abu Sir, "Did, I not
say to thee, 'Eat not of this'? Indeed the captain is a kindly man. See
what he hath sent thee, for that I told him thou wast seasick." "Give it
here," cried the dyer. So the barber gave him the platter, and he
snatched it from him and fell upon his food, ravening for it and
resembling a grinning dog or a raging lion or a roc pouncing on a pigeon
or one well-nigh dead for hunger who, seeing meat, falls ravenously to
eat.
Then Abu Sir left him, and going back to the captain, supped and
enjoyed himself and drank coffee with him, after which he returned to
Abu Kir and found that he had eaten all that was in the porringer and
thrown it aside, empty. So he took it up and gave it to one of the
captain's servants, then went back to Abu Kir and slept till the
morning. On the morrow he continued to shave, and all he got by way of
meat and drink he gave to his shipmate, who ate and drank and sat still,
rising not save to do what none could do for him, and every night the
barber brought him a full porringer from the captain's table.
They fared thus twenty days until the galleon cast anchor in the
harbor of a city, whereupon they took leave of the skipper, and landing,
entered the town and hired them a closet in a khan. Abu Sir furnished
it, and buying a cooking pot and a platter and spoons and what else they
needed, fetched meat and cooked it. But Abu Kir fell asleep the moment
he entered the caravanserai and awoke not till Abu Sir aroused him and
set the tray of food before him. When he awoke, he ate, and saying to
Abu Sir, "Blame me not, for I am giddy," fell asleep again. Thus he did
forty days, whilst every day the barber took his gear, and making the
round of the city, wrought for that which fell to his lot, and
returning, found the dyer asleep and aroused him. The moment he awoke he
fell ravenously upon the food, eating as one who cannot have his fill
nor be satisfied, after which he went asleep again.
On this wise he passed other forty days, and whenever the barber said
to him, "Sit up and be comfortable and go forth and take an airing in
the city, for 'tis a gay place and a pleasant and hath not its equal
among the cities," he would reply, "Blame me not, for I am giddy." Abu
Sir cared not to hurt his feelings nor give him hard words, but on the
forty-first day, he himself fell sick and could not go abroad, so he
engaged the porter of the khan to serve them both, and he did the
needful for them and brought them meat and drink whilst Abu Kir would do
nothing but eat and sleep. The man ceased not to wait upon them on this
wise for four days, at the end of which time the barbees malady
redoubled on him, till he lost his senses for stress of sickness; and
Abu Kir, feeling the sharp pangs of hunger, arose and sought in his
comrade's clothes, where he found a thousand silver bits. He took them
and, shutting the door of the closet upon Abu Sir, fared forth without
telling any, and the doorkeeper was then at market and thus saw him not
go out.
Presently Abu Kir betook himself to the bazaar and clad himself in
costly clothes, at a price of five hundred half-dirhams. Then he
proceeded to walk about the streets and divert himself by viewing the
city, which he found to be one whose like was not among cities. But he
noted that all its citizens were clad in clothes of white and blue,
without other color. Presently he came to a dyer's, and seeing naught
but blue in his shop, pulled out to him a kerchief and said, "O master,
take this and dye it and win thy wage." Quoth the dyer, "The cost of
dyeing this will be twenty dirhams," and quoth Abu Kir, "In our country
we dye it for two." "Then go and dye it in your own country! As for me,
my price is twenty dirhams and I will not bate a tittle thereof." "What
color wilt thou dye it?" "I will dye it blue." "But I want it dyed red."
"I know not how to dye red." "Then dye it green." "I know not how to dye
it green." "Yellow." "Nor yet yellow." Thereupon Abu Kir went on to name
the different tints to him, one after other, till the dyer said: "We are
here in this city forty master dyers, not one more nor one less, and
when one of us dieth, we teach his son the craft. If he leave no son, we
abide lacking one, and if he leave two sons, we teach one of them the
craft, and if he die, we teach his brother. This our craft is strictly
ordered, and we know how to dye but blue and no other tint whatsoever."
Then said Abu Kir: "Know that I too am a dyer, and wot how to dye all
colors, and I would have thee take me into thy service on hire, and I
will teach thee everything of my art, so thou mayst glory therein over
all the company of dyers." But the dyer answered, "We never admit a
stranger into our craft." Asked Abu Kir, "And what if I open a dyery for
myself?" whereto the other answered, "We will not suffer thee to do that
on any wise." Whereupon he left him, and going to a second dyer, made
him the like proposal, but he returned him the same answer as the first.
And he ceased not to go from one to other till he had made the round of
the whole forty masters, but they would not accept him either to master
or apprentice. Then he repaired to the Sheikh of the dyers and told what
had passed, and he said, "We admit no strangers into our craft."
Hereupon Abu Kir became exceeding wroth, and going up to the King of
that city, made complaint to him, saying, "O King of the Age, I am a
stranger and a dyer by trade," and he told him whatso had passed between
himself and the dyers of the town, adding: "I can dye various kinds of
red, such as rose-color and jujubel-color and various kinds of green,
such as grass-green and pistachio-green and olive and parrot's wing, and
various kinds of black, such as coal-black and kohl-black, and various
shades of yellow, such as orange and lemon-color," and went on to name
to him the rest of the colors. Then said he, "O King of the Age, all the
dyers in thy city cannot turn out of hand any one of these tints, for
they know not how to dye aught but blue. Yet they will not admit me
amongst them, either to master or apprentice." Answered the King: "Thou
sayst sooth for that matter, but I will open to thee a dyery and give
thee capital, and have thou no care anent them; for whoso offereth to do
thee let or hindrance, I will hang him over his shop door."
Then he sent for builders and said to them, "Go round about the city
with this master dyer, and whatsoever place pleaseth him, be it shop or
khan or what not, turn out its occupier and build him a dyery after his
wish. Whatsoever he biddeth you, that do ye, and oppose him not in
aught." And he clad him in a handsome suit and gave him two white slaves
to serve him, and a horse with housings of brocade and a thousand
dinars, saying, "Expend this upon thyself against the building be
completed." Accordingly Abu Kir donned the dress, and mounting the
horse, became as he were an emir. Moreover the King assigned him a
house, and bade furnish it, so they furnished it for him and he took up
his abode therein. On the morrow he mounted and rode through the city,
whilst the architects went before him, and he looked about him till he
saw a place which pleased him and said, "This stead is seemly,"
whereupon they turned out the owner and carried him to the King, who
gave him as the price of his holding, what contented him and more.
Then the builders fell to work, whilst Abu Kir said to them, "Build
thus and thus and do this and that," till they built him a dyery that
had not its like. Whereupon he presented himself before the King and
informed him that they had done building the dyery and that there needed
but the price of the dyestuffs and gear to set it going. Quoth the King,
"Take these four thousand dinars to thy capital and let me see the first
fruits of thy dyery." So he took the money and went to the market where,
finding dyestuffs plentiful and well-nigh worthless, he bought all he
needed of materials for dyeing; and the King sent him five hundred
pieces of stuff, which he set himself to dye of all colors, and then he
spread them before the door of his dyery.
When the folk passed by the shop, they saw a wonder sight whose like
they had never in their lives seen, so they crowded about the entrance,
enjoying the spectacle and questioning the dyer and saying, "O master,
what are the names of these colors?" Quoth he, "This is red and that
yellow and the other green," and so on, naming the rest of the colors.
And they fell to bringing him longcloth and saying to him, "Dye it for
us like this and that, and take what hire thou seekest." When he had
made an end of dyeing the King's stuffs, he took them and went up with
them to the Divan, and when the King saw them he rejoiced in them and
bestowed abundant bounty on the dyer. Furthermore, all the troops
brought him stuffs, saying, "Dye for us thus and thus," and he dyed for
them to their liking, and they threw him gold and silver. After this his
fame spread abroad, and his shop was called the Sultan's Dyery. Good
came in to him at every door and none of the other dyers could say a
word to him, but they used to come to him kissing his hands and excusing
themselves to him for past affronts they had offered him and saying,
"Take us to thine apprentices." But he would none of them, for he had
become the owner of black slaves and handmaids and had amassed store of
wealth.
On this wise fared it with Abu Kir, but as regards Abu Sir, after
closet door had been locked on him and his money had been stolen, he
abode prostrate and unconscious for three successive days, at the end of
which the concierge of the khan, chancing to look at the door, observed
that it was locked, and bethought himself that he had not seen and heard
aught of the two companions for some time. So he said in his mind:
"Haply they have made off without paying rent, or perhaps they are dead,
or what is to do with them?" And he waited till sunset, when he went up
to the door and heard the barber groaning within. He saw the key in the
lock, so he opened the door, and entering, found Abu Sir lying groaning,
and said to him: "No harm to thee. Where is thy friend?" Replied Abu
Sir: "By Allah, I came to my senses only this day and called out, but
none answered my call. Allah upon thee, O my brother, look for the purse
under my head and take from it five half-dirhams and buy me somewhat
nourishing, for I am sore a-hungered." The porter put out his hand, and
taking the purse, found it empty and said to the barber, "The purse is
empty, there is nothing in it." Whereupon Abu Sir knew that Abu Kir had
taken that which was therein and had fled, and he asked the porter,
"Hast thou not seen my friend?" Answered the doorkeeper, "I have not
seen him for these three days, and indeed methought you had departed,
thou and he." The barber cried, "Not so, but he coveted my money and
took it and fled, seeing me sick."
Then he fell a-weeping and a-wailing, but the doorkeeper said to him,
"No harm shall befall thee, and Allah will requite him his deed." So he
went away and cooked him some broth, whereof he ladled out a plateful
and brought it to him. Nor did he cease to tend him and maintain him
with his own moneys for two months' space, when the barber sweated and
the Almighty made him whole of his sickness. Then he stood up and said
to the porter: "An ever the Most High Lord enable me, I will surely
requite thee thy kindness to me. But none requiteth save the Lord of His
bounty!" Answered the porter: "Praised be He for thy recovery! I dealt
not thus with am but of desire for the face of Allah the Bountiful."
Then the barber went forth of the khan and threaded the market
streets of the town till Destiny brought him to the bazaar wherein was
Abu Kir's dyery, and he saw the varicolored stuffs dispread before the
shop and a jostle of folk crowding to look upon them. So he questioned
one of the townsmen and asked him, "What place is this, and how cometh
it that I see the folk crowding together?" whereto the man answered,
saying: "This is the Sultan's Dyery, which he set up for a foreigner,
Abu Kir high! And whenever he dyeth new stuff, we all flock to him and
divert ourselves by gazing upon his handiwork, for we have no dyers in
our land who know how to stain with these colors. And indeed there
befell him with the dyers who are in the city that which befell." And he
went on to tell him all that had passed between Abu Kir and the master
dyers and how he had complained of them to the Sultan, who took him by
the hand and built him that dyery and gave him this and that- brief, he,
recounted to him all that had occurred.
At this the barber rejoiced and said in himself: "Praised be Allah
Who hath prospered him, so that he is become a master of his craft! And
the man is excusable, for of a surety he hath been diverted from thee by
his work and hath forgotten thee; but thou actedst kindly by him and
entreatedst him generously what time he was out of work, so when he
seeth thee, he will rejoice in thee and entreat thee generously, even as
thou entreatedst him." According he made for the door of the dyery, and
saw Abu Kir seated on a high mattress spread upon a bench beside the
doorway, clad in royal apparel and attended by four blackamoor slaves
and four white Mamelukes all robed in the richest of raiment. Moreover,
he saw the workmen, ten Negro slaves, standing at work; for when Abu Kir
bought them, he taught them the craft of dyeing, and he himself sat
amongst his cushions as he were a grand wazir or a mighty monarch,
putting his hand to naught but only saying to the men, "Do this and do
that." So the barber went up to him and stood before him, deeming he
would rejoice in him when he saw him and salute him and entreat him with
honor and make much of him. But when eye fell upon eye, the dyer said to
him: "O scoundrel how many a time have I bidden thee stand not at the
door of the workshop? Hast thou a mind to disgrace me with the folk,
thief that thou art? Seize him."
So the blackamoors ran at him and laid hold of him, and the dyer rose
up from his seat and said, "Throw him." Accordingly they threw him down
and Abu Kir took a stick and dealt him a hundred strokes on the back,
after which they turned him over and he beat him other hundred blows on
his belly. Then he said to him: "O scoundrel, O villain, if ever again I
see thee standing at the door of this dyery, I will forthwith send thee
to the King, and he will commit thee to the Chief of Police, that he may
strike thy neck. Begone, may Allah not bless thee!" So Abu Sir departed
from him, brokenhearted by reason of the beating and shame that had
betided him, whilst the bystanders asked Abu Kir, "What hath this man
done?" He answered: "The fellow is a thief, who stealeth the stuffs of
folk. He hath robbed me of cloth, how many a time! And I still said to
myself, 'Allah forgive him!' He is a poor man, and I cared not to deal
roughly with him, so I used to give my customers the worth of their
goods and forbid him gently, but he would not be forbidden. And if he
come again, I will send him to the King, who will put him to death and
rid the people of his mischief." And the bystanders fell to abusing the
barber after his back was turned.
Such was the behavior of Abu Kir, but as regards Abu Sir, he returned
to the khan, where he sat pondering that which the dyer had done by him,
and he remained seated till the burning of the beating subsided, when he
went out and walked about the markets of the city. Presently he
bethought him to go to the hammam bath, so he said to one of-the
townsfolk, "O my brother, which is the way to the baths?" Quoth the man,
"And what manner of thing may the baths be?" and quoth Abu Sir, "'Tis a
place where people wash themselves and do away their dirt and
defilements, and it is of the best of the good things of the world."
Replied the townsman, "Get thee to the sea," but the barber rejoined, "I
want the hammam baths." Cried the other: "We know not what manner of
thing is the hammam, for we all resort to the sea. Even the King, when
he would wash, betaketh himself to the sea."
When Abu Sir was assured that there was no bath in the city and that
the folk knew not the baths nor the fashion thereof, he betook himself
to the King's Divan and, kissing ground between his hands, called down
blessings on him and said: "I am a stranger and a bathman by trade, and
I entered thy city and thought to go to the hammam, but found not one
therein. How cometh a city of this comely quality to lack a hammam,
seeing that the bath is of the highest of the delights of this world?"
Quoth the King, "What manner of thing is the hammam?" So Abu Sir
proceeded to set forth to him the quality of the bath, saying, "Thy
capital will not be a perfect city till there be a hammam therein."
"Welcome to thee!" said the King and clad him in a dress that had not
its like and gave him a horse and two blackamoor slaves, presently
adding four handmaids and as many white Mamelukes. He also appointed him
a furnished house and honored him yet more abundantly than he had
honored the dyer.
After this he sent builders with him, saying to them, "Build him a
hammam in what place soever shall please him." So he took them and went
with them through the midst of the city till he saw a stead that suited
him. He pointed it out to the builders and they set to work, whilst he
directed them, and they wrought till they builded him a hammam that had
not its like. Then he bade them paint it, and they painted it rarely, so
that it was a delight to the beholders. After which Abu Sir went up to
the King and told him that they had made an end of building and
decorating the hammam, adding, "There lacketh naught save the
furniture." The King gave him ten thousand dinars wherewith he furnished
the bath and ranged the napkins on the ropes, and all who passed by the
door stared at it and their mind was confounded at its decorations. So
the people crowded to this spectacle, whose like they had never in their
lives seen, and solaced themselves by staring at it and saying, "What is
this thing?" To which Abu Sir replied, "This is a hammam," and they
marveled thereat. Then he heated water and set the bath a-working, and
he made a jetting fountain in the great basin, which ravished the wit of
an who saw it of the people of the city.
Furthermore, he sought of the King ten Mamelukes not yet come to
manhood, and he gave him ten boys like moons, whereupon Abu Sir
proceeded to shampoo them, saying, "Do in this wise with the bathers."
Then he burnt perfumes and sent out a crier to cry aloud in the city,
saying, "O creatures of Allah, get ye to the baths which be called the
Sultan's Hammam!" So the lieges came thither and Abu Sir bade the slave
boys wash their bodies. The folk went down into the tank and coming
forth, seated themselves on the raised pavement whilst the boys
shampooed them, even as Abu Sir had taught them. And they continued to
enter the hammam and do their need therein gratis and go out, without
paying, for the space of three days.
On the fourth day the barber invited the King, who took horse with
his grandees and rode to the baths, where he put off his clothes and
entered. Then Abu Sir came in to him and rubbed his body with the bag
gloves, peeling from his skin dirt rolls like lampwicks and showing them
to the King, who rejoiced therein, and clapping his hand upon his limbs,
heard them ring again for very smoothness and cleanliness. After which
thorough washing Abu Sir mingled rosewater with the water of the tank
and the King went down therein. When he came forth, his body was
refreshed and he felt a lightness and liveliness such as he had never
known in his life. Then the barber made him sit on the dais and the boys
proceeded to shampoo him, whilst the censers fumed with the finest lign
aloes.
Then said the King, "O master, is this the hammam?" and Abu Sir said,
"Yes." Quoth the King; "As my head liveth, my city is not become a city
indeed but by this bath," presently adding, "But what pay takest thou
for each person?" Quoth Abu Sir, "That which thou biddest will I take,"
whereupon the King cried, "Take a thousand gold pieces for everyone who
washeth in thy hammam." Abu Sir, however, said: "Pardon, O King of the
Age! All men are not alike, but there are amongst them rich and poor,
and if I take of each a thousand dinars, the hammam will stand empty,
for the poor man cannot pay this price." Asked the King, "How then wilt
thou do for the price?" and the barber answered: "I will leave it to
their generosity. Each who can afford aught shall pay that which his
soul grudgeth not to give, and we will take from every man after the
measure of his means. On this wise will the folk come to us, and he who
is wealthy shall give according to his station and he who is wealthless
shall give what he can afford. Under such condition the hammam will
still be at work and prosper exceedingly. But a thousand dinars is a
monarch's gift, and not every man can avail to this."
The lords of the realm confirmed Abu Sir's words, saying: "This is
the truth, O King of the Age! Thinkest thou that all folk are like unto
thee, O glorious King?" The King replied: "Ye say sooth, but this man is
a stranger and poor, and 'tis incumbent on us to deal generously with
him, for that he hath made in our city this hammam whose like we have
never in our lives seen and without which our city were not adorned nor
hath gotten importance. Wherefore, an we favor him with increase of fee,
'twill not be much." But the grandees said: "An thou wilt guerdon him,
be generous with thine own moneys, and let the King's bounty be extended
to the poor by means of the low price of the hammam, so the lieges may
bless thee. But as for the thousand dinars, we are the lords of thy
land, yet do our souls grudge to pay it, and how then should the poor be
pleased to afford it?" Quoth the King: "O my Grandees, for this time let
each of you give him a hundred dinars and a Mameluke, a slave girl, and
a blackamoor," and quoth they: "'Tis well. We will give it, but after
today whoso entereth shall give him only what he can afford, without
grudging." "No harm in that," said the King, and they gave him the
thousand gold pieces and three chattels.
Now the number of the nobles who were washed with the King that day
was four hundred souls, so that the total of that which they gave him
was forty thousand dinars, besides four hundred Mamelukes and a like
number of Negroes and slave girls. Moreover, the King gave him ten
thousand dinars, besides ten white slaves and ten handmaidens and a like
number of blackamoors, whereupon, coming forward, Abu Sir kissed the
ground before him and said: "O auspicious Sovereign, lord of justice,
what place will contain me all these women and slaves?" Quoth the King:
"O weak o' wit, I bade not my nobles deal thus with thee but that we
might gather together unto thee wealth galore; for maybe thou wilt
bethink thee of thy country and family and repine for them and be minded
to return to thy mother land- so shalt thou take from our country muchel
of money to maintain thyself withal, what while thou livest in thine own
country." And quoth Abu Sir: "O King of the Age (Allah advance thee!),
these white slaves and women and Negroes befit only kings, and hadst
thou ordered me ready money, it were more profitable to me than this
army; for they must eat and drink and dress, and whatever betideth me of
wealth, it will not suffice for their support."
The King laughed and said: "By Allah, thou speaketh sooth! They are
indeed a mighty host, and thou hast not the wherewithal to maintain
them; but wilt thou sell them to me for a hundred dinars a head?" Said
Abu Sir, "I sell them to thee at that price." So the King sent to his
treasurer for the coin and he brought it and gave Abu Sir the whole of
the price without abatement and in full tale, after which the King
restored the slaves to their owners, saying, "Let each of you who
knoweth his slaves take them, for they are a gift from me to you." So
they obeyed his bidding and took each what belonged to him, whilst Abu
Sir said to the King: "Allah ease thee, O King of the Age, even as thou
hast eased me of these Ghuls, whose bellies none may fill save Allah!"
The King laughed, and said he spake sooth. Then, taking the grandees of
his realm from the hammam, returned to his palace. But the barber passed
the night in counting out his gold and laying it up in bags and sealing
them, and he had with him twenty black slaves and a like number of
Mamelukes and four slave girls to serve him.
Now when morning morrowed, he opened the hammam and sent out a crier
to cry, saying: "Whoso entereth the baths and washeth shall give that
which he can afford and which his generosity requireth him to give."
Then he seated himself by the pay chest and customers flocked in upon
him, each putting down that which was easy to him, nor had eventide
evened ere the chest was full of the good gifts of Allah the Most High.
Presently the Queen desired to go to the hammam, and when this came to
Abu Sir's knowledge, he divided the day on her account into two parts,
appointing that between dawn and noon to men and that between midday and
sundown to women. As soon as the Queen came, he stationed a handmaid
behind the pay chest, for he had taught four slave girls the service of
the hammam, so that they were become expert bathwomen and tirewomen.
When the Queen entered, this pleased her, and her breast waxed broad,
and she laid down a thousand dinars.
Thus his report was noised abroad in the city, and all who entered
the bath he entreated with honor, were they rich or poor. Good came in
upon him at every door, and he made acquaintance with the royal guards
and got him friends and intimates. The King himself used to come to him
one day in every week, leaving with him a thousand dinars, and the other
days were for rich and poor alike; and he was wont to deal courteously
with the folk and use them with the utmost respect. It chanced that the
King's sea captain came in to him one day in the bath, so Abu Sir did
off his dress and going in with him, proceeded to shampoo him, and
entreated him with exceeding courtesy. When he came forth, he made him
sherbet and coffee, and when he would have given him somewhat, he swore
that he would not accept from him aught. So the captain was under
obligation to him, by reason of his exceeding kindness and courtesy, and
was perplexed how to requite the bathman his generous dealing.
Thus fared it with Abu Sir, but as regards Abu Kir, hearing an the
people recounting wonders of the baths and saying, "Verily, this hammam
is the Paradise of this world! Inshallah, O Such-a-one, thou shalt go
with us tomorrow to this delightful bath," he said to himself, "Needs
must I fare like the rest of the world, and see this bath that hath
taken folk's wits." So he donned his richest dress, and mounting a
she-mule and bidding the attendance of four white slaves and four
blacks, walking before and behind him, he rode to the hammam. When he
alighted at the door, he smelt the scent of burning aloes wood and found
people going in and out and the benches full of great and small. So he
entered the vestibule, and saw Abu Sir, who rose to him and rejoiced in
him, but the dyer said to him: "Is this the way of well-born men? I have
opened me a dyery and am become master dyer of the city and acquainted
with the King and have risen to prosperity and authority, yet camest
thou not to me nor askest of me nor saidst, 'Where's my comrade?' For my
part, I sought thee in vain and sent my slaves and servants to make
search for thee in all the khans and other places, but they knew not
whither thou hadst gone, nor could anyone give me tidings of thee."
Said Abu Sir, "Did I not come to thee, and didst thou not make me out
a thief and bastinado me and dishonor me before the world?" At this Abu
Kir made a show of concern and asked: "What manner of talk is this? Was
it thou whom I beat?" and Abu Sir answered, "Yes, 'twas I." Whereupon
Abu Kir swore to him a thousand oaths that he knew him not and said:
"There was a fellow like thee, who used to come every day and steal the
people's stuff, and I took thee for him." And he went on to pretend
penitence, beating hand upon hand and saying: "There is no Majesty and
there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great. Indeed we have
sinned against thee, but would that thou hadst discovered thyself to and
said, 'I am Such-a-one!' Indeed the fault is with thee, for that thou
madest not thyself known unto me, more especially seeing that I was
distracted for much business." Replied Abu Sir: "Allah pardon thee, O my
comrade! This was foreordained in the secret purpose, and reparation is
with Allah. Enter and put off thy clothes and bathe at thine ease." Said
the dyer, "I conjure thee, by Allah, O my brother, forgive me!" and said
Abu Sir: "Allah acquit thee of blame and forgive thee! Indeed this thing
was decreed to me from an eternity."
Then asked Abu Kir, "Whence gottest thou this high degree?" and
answered Abu Sir: "He who prospered thee prospered me, for I went up to
the King and described to him the fashion of the hammam, and he bade me
build one." And the dyer said: "Even as thou art beknown of the King, so
also am I, and, Inshallah- God willing- I will make him love and favor
thee more than ever, for my sake. He knoweth not that thou art my
comrade, but I will acquaint him of this and commend thee to him." But
Abu Sir said: "There needeth no commendation, for He who moveth man's
heart to love still liveth, and indeed the King and all his Court affect
me and have given me this and that." And he told him the whole tale, and
said to him: "Put off thy clothes behind the chest and enter the hammam,
and I will go in with thee and rub thee down with the glove." So he
doffed his dress, and Abu Sir, entering the bath with him, soaped him
and gloved him and then dressed him and busied himself with his service
till he came forth, when he brought him dinner and sherbets, whilst all
the folk marveled at the honor he did him.
Then Abu Kir would have given him somewhat, but he swore that he
would not accept aught from him, and said to him: "Shame upon such
doing! Thou art my comrade, and there is no diference between us." Then
Abu Kir observed: "By Allah, O my comrade, this is a mighty fine hammam
of thine, but there lacketh somewhat in its ordinance." Asked Abu Sir,
"And what is that?" and Abu Kir answered: "It is the depilatory, to wit,
the paste compounded of yellow arsenic and quicklime which removeth the
hair with comfort. Do thou prepare it, and next time the King cometh,
present it to him, teaching him how he shall cause the hair to fall off
by such means, and he will love thee with exceeding love and honor
thee." Quoth Abu Sir, "Thou speaketh sooth, and Inshallah, I will at
once make it."
Then Abu Kir left him and mounted his mule, and going to the King,
said to him, "I have a warning to give thee, O King of the Age!" "And
what is thy warning?" asked the King, and Abu Kir answered, "I hear that
thou hast built a hamman." Quoth the King: "Yes. There came to me a
stranger and I builded the baths for even as I builded the dyery for
thee, and indeed 'tis a mighty fine hammam and an ornament to my city,"
and he went on to describe to him the virtues of the bath. Quoth the
dyer, "Hast thou entered therein?" and quoth the King, "Yes." Thereupon
cried Abu Kir: "Alhamdolillah- praised be God- who saved thee from the
mischief of yonder villian and foe of the Faith- I mean the bathkeeper!"
The King inquired, "And what of him?" and Abu Kir replied: "Know, O King
of the Age, that an thou enter the hammam again after this day, thou
wilt surely perish." "How so?" said the King, and the dyer said: "This
bathkeeper is thy foe and the foe of the Faith, and he induced thee not
to stablish this bath but because he designed therein to poison thee. He
hath made for thee somewhat, and he will present it to thee when thou
enterest the hammam, saying, 'This is a drug which, if one apply to his
parts below the waist, will remove the hair with comfort." Now it is no
drug, but a drastic dreg and a deadly poison, for the Sultan of the
Christians hath promised this obscene fellow to release to him his wife
and children an he will kill thee. For they are prisoners in the hands
of that Sultan. I myself was captive with him in their land, but I
opened a dyery and dyed for them various colors, so that they
conciliated the King's heart to me and he bade me ask a boon of him. I
sought of him freedom and he set me at liberty, whereupon I made my way
to this city, and seeing yonder man in the hammam, said to him, 'How
didst thou effect thine escape and win free with thy wife and children?'
Quoth he: 'We ceased not to be in captivity, I and my wife and children,
till one day the King of the Nazarenes held a Court whereat I was
present, amongst a number of others. And as I stood amongst the folk, I
heard them open out on the kings and name them, one after other, till
they came to the name of the King of this city, whereupon the King of
the Christians cried out "Alas!" and said, "None vexeth me in the world,
but the King of such a city! Whosoever will contrive me his slaughter I
will give him all. he shall ask." So I went up to him and said, "An I
compass for thee his slaughter, wilt thou set me free, me and my wife
and my children?" The King replied, "Yes, and I will give thee to boot
whatso thou shalt desire." So we agreed upon this, and he sent me in a
galleon to this city, where I presented myself to the King and he built
me this hammam.
"'Now, therefore, I have naught to do but to slay him and return to
the King of the Nazarenes, that I may redeem my children and my wife and
ask a boon of him.' Quoth I: 'And how wilt thou go about to kill him?'
and quoth he, 'By the simplest of all devices, for I have compounded him
somewhat wherein is poison, so when he cometh to the bath, I shall say
to him "Take this paste and anoint therewith thy parts below the waist
for it will cause the hair to drop off." So he will take it and apply it
to himself, and the poison will work in him a day and a night, till it
reacheth his heart and destroyeth him. And meanwhile I shall have made
off and none will know that it was I slew him.' When I heard this,"
added Abu Kir, "I feared for thee, my benefactor, wherefore I have told
thee of what is doing.
As soon as the King heard the dyer's story, he was wroth with
exceeding wrath and said to him, "Keep this secret." Then he resolved to
visit the hammam, that he might dispel doubt by supplying certainty, and
when he entered, Abu Sir doffed his dress, and betaking himself as of
wont to the service of the King, proceeded to glove him, after which he
said to him, "O King of the Age, I have made a drug which assisteth in
plucking out the lower hair." Cried the King, "Bring it to me." So the
barber brought it to him and the King, finding it nauseous of smell, was
assured that it was poison, wherefore he was incensed and called out to
his guards, saying, "Seize him!" Accordingly they seized him, and the
King donned his dress and returned to his palace; boiling with fury,
whilst none knew the cause of his indignation, for, of the excess of his
wrath he had acquainted no one therewith and none dared ask him.
Then he repaired to the audience chamber, and causing Abu Sir to be
brought before him with his elbows pinioned, sent for his sea captain
and said to him: "Take this villian and set him in a sack with two
quintals of lime unslaked and tie its mouth over his head. Then lay him
in a cockboat and row out with him in front of my palace, where thou
wilt see me sitting at the lattice. Do thou say to me, 'Shall I cast him
in?' and if I answer, 'Cast him!' throw the sack into the sea, so the
quicklime may be slacked on him to the intent that he shall die drowned
and burnt." "Hearkening and obeying," quoth the captain, and taking Abu
Sir from the presence, carried him to an island facing the King's
palace, where he said to him: "Ho, thou, I once visited thy hammam and
thou entreatedst me with honor and accomplishedst all my needs and I had
great pleasure of thee. Moreover, thou swarest that thou wouldst take no
pay of me, and I love thee with a great love. So tell me how the case
standeth between thee and the King, and what abominable deed thou hast
done with him that he is wroth with thee and hath commanded me that thou
shouldst die this foul death."
Answered Abu Sir, "I have done nothing, nor weet I of any crime I
have committed against him which merited this!" Rejoined the captain:
"Verily, thou wast high in rank with the King, such as none ever won
before thee, and all who are prosperous are envied. Haply someone was
jealous of thy good fortune and threw out certain hints concerning thee
to the King, by reason whereof he is become enraged against thee with
rage so violent. But be of good cheer, no harm shall befall thee. For
even as thou entreatedst me generously, without acquaintanceship between
me and thee, so now I will deliver thee. But an I release thee, thou
must abide with me on this island till some galleon sail from our city
to thy native land, when I will send thee thither therein."
Abu Sir kissed his hand and thanked him for that, after which the
captain fetched the quicklime and set it in a sack, together with a
great stone, the size of a man, saying, "I put my trust in Allah!" Then
he gave the barber a net, saying: "Cast this net into the sea, so haply
thou mayest take somewhat of fish. For I am bound to supply the King's
kitchen with fish every day, but today I have been distracted from
fishing by this calamity which hath befallen thee, and I fear lest the
cook's boys come to me in quest of fish and find none. So, an thou take
aught, they will find it and thou wilt veil my face, whilst I go and
play off my practice in front of the palace and feign to cast thee into
the sea." Answered Abu Sir: "I will fish the while. Go thou, and God
help thee!" So the captain set the sack in the boat and paddled till it
came under the palace, where he saw the King seated at the lattice and
said to him, "O King of the Age, shall I cast him in?" "Cast him!" cried
the King, and signed to him with his hand, when lo and behold! something
flashed like levin and fell into the sea. Now that which had fallen into
the water was the King's seal ring, and the same was enchanted in such
way that when the King was wroth with anyone and was minded to slay him,
he had but to sign to him with his right hand, whereon was the signet
ring, and therefrom issued a flash of lightning, which smote the object,
and thereupon his head fell from between his shoulders. And the troops
obeyed him not, nor did he overcome the men of might, save by means of
the ring. So when it dropped from his finger, he concealed the matter
and kept silence, for that he dared not say, "My ring is fallen into the
sea," for fear of the troops, lest they rise against him and slay him.
On this wise it befell the King. But as regards Abu Sir, after the
captain had left him on the island he took the net and casting it into
the sea, presently drew it up full of fish, nor did he cease to throw it
and pull it up full till there was a great mound of fish before him. So
he said in himself, "By Allah, this long while I have not eaten fish!"
and chose himself a large fat fish, saying, "When the captain cometh
back, I will bid him fry it for me, so I may dine on it." Then he cut
its throat with a knife he had with him, but the knife stuck in its
gills, and there he saw the King's signet ring, for the fish had
swallowed it and Destiny had driven it to that island, where it had
fallen into the net. He took the ring and drew it on his little finger,
not knowing its peculiar properties. Presently up came two of the cook's
boys in quest of fish, and seeing Abu Sir, said to him, "O man, whither
is the captain gone?" "I know not," said he, and signed to them with his
right hand, when, behold, the heads of both underlings dropped off from
between their shoulders. At this Abu Sir was amazed and said, "Would I
wot who slew them!"
And their case was grievous to him, and he was still pondering it
when the captain suddenly returned, and seeing the mound of fishes and
two man lying dead and the seal ring on Abu Sir's finger, said to him:
"O my brother, move not thy hand whereon is the signet ring, else thou
wilt kill me." Abu Sir wondered at this speech and kept his hand
motionless, whereupon the captain came up to him and said, "Who slew
these two men?" "By Allah, O my brother, I wot not!" "Thou sayest sooth,
but tell me, whence hadst thou that ring?" "I found it in this fish's
gills." "True," said the captain, "for I saw it fall flashing from the
King's palace and disappear in the sea, what time he signed toward thee,
saying, 'Cast him in.' So I cast the sack into the water, and it was
then that the ring slipped from his finger and fell into the sea, where
this fish swallowed it, and Allah drave it to thee, so that thou madest
it thy prey, for this ring was thy lot. But kennest thou its property?"
Said Abu Sir, "I knew not that it had any properties peculiar to it,"
and the captain said: "Learn, then, that the King's troops obey him not
save for fear of this signet ring, because it is spelled, and when he
was wroth with anyone and had a mind to kill he would sign at him
therewith and his head would drop from between his shoulders, for there
issued a flash of lightning from the ring and its ray smote the object
of his wrath, who died forthright." At this, Abu Sir rejoiced with
exceeding joy and said to the captain, "Carry me back to the city," and
he said, "That will I, now that I no longer fear for thee from the King,
for wert thou to sip at him with thy hand, purposing to kill him, his
head would fall down between thy hands. And if thou be minded to slay
him and all his host, thou mayst slaughter them without let or
hindrance."
So saying, he embarked him in the boat and bore him back to the city,
so Abu Sir landed, and going up to the palace, entered the council
chamber, where he found the King seated facing his officers, in sore
cark and care by reason of the seal ring and daring not tell any of his
folk anent its loss. When he saw Abu Sir, he said to him: "Did we not
cast thee into the sea? How hast thou contrived to come forth of it?"
Abu Sir replied: "O King of the Age, whenas thou badest throw me into
the sea, thy captain carried me to an island and asked me of the cause
of thy wrath against me, saying, 'What hast thou done with the King,
that he should decree thy death?' I answered, 'By Allah, I know not that
I have wrought him any wrong!' Quoth he: 'Thou wast high in rank with
the King, and haply someone envied thee and threw out certain hints
concerning thee to him, so that he is become incensed against thee. But
when I visited thee in thy hammam, thou entreatedst me honorably, and I
will requite thee thy hospitality to me by setting thee free and sending
thee back to thine own land.' Then he set a great stone in the sack in
my stead and cast it into the seat, but when thou signedst to him to
throw me in, thy seal ring dropped from thy finger into the main, and a
fish swallowed it.
"Now I was on the island a-fishing, and this fish came up in the net
with others, whereupon I took it, intending to broil it. But when I
opened its belly, I found the signet ring therein, so I took it and put
it on my finger. Presently up came two of the servants of the kitchen,
questing fish, and I signed to them with my hand, knowing not the
property of the seal ring, and their heads fell off. Then the captain
came back, and seeing the ring on my finger, acquainted me with its
spell. And, behold, I have brought it back to thee, for that thou
dealtest kindly by me and entreatedst me with the utmost honor, nor is
that which thou hast done me of kindness lost upon me. Here is thy ring,
take it! But an I have done with thee aught deserving of death, tell me
my crime and slay me and thou shalt be absolved of sin in shedding my
blood."
So saying, he pulled the ring from his finger and gave it to the
King, who, seeing Abu Sir's noble conduct, took the ring and put it on
and felt life return to him afresh. Then he rose to his feet, and
embracing the barber, said to him: "O man, thou art indeed of the flower
of the well-born! Blame me not, but forgive me the wrong I have done
thee. Had any but thou gotten hold of this ring, he had never restored
it to me." Answered Abu Sir: "O King of the Age, an thou wouldst have me
forgive thee, tell me what was my fault which drew down thine anger upon
me, so that thou commandedst to do me die." Rejoined the King: "By
Allah, 'tis clear to me that thou art free and guiltless in all things
of offense, since thou hast done this good deed. Only the dyer denounced
thee to me in such and such words," and he told him all that Abu Kir had
said. Abu Sir replied: "By Allah, O King of the Age, I know no King of
the Nazarenes, nor during my days have ever journeyed to a Christian
country, nor did it ever come into my mind to kill thee. But this dyer
was my comrade and neighbor in the city of Alexandria, where life was
straitened upon us. Therefore we departed thence, to seek our fortunes,
by reason of the narrowness of our means at home, after we had recited
the opening chapter of the Koran together, pledging ourselves that he
who got work should feed him who lacked work. And there befell me with
him such-and-such things."
Then he went on to relate to the King all that had betided him with
Abu Kir the dyer: how he had robbed him of his dirhams and had left him
alone and sick in the khan closet, and how the door keeper had fed him
of his own moneys till Allah recovered him of his sickness, when he went
forth and walked about the city with his budget, as was his wont, till
his espied a dyery, about which the folk were crowding; so he looked at
the door, and seeing Abu Kir seated on a bench there, went in to salute
him, whereupon he accused him of being a thief and beat him a grievous
beating- brief, he told him his whole tale, from first to last, and
added: "O King of the Age, 'twas he who counseled me to make the
depilatory and present it to thee, saying: 'The hammam is perfect in all
things but that it lacketh this.' And know, O King of the Age, that this
drug is harmless and we use it in our land, where 'tis one of the
requisites bath, but I had forgotten it. So when the dyer visited the
hammam, I entreated him with honor and he reminded me of it, and
enjoined me to make it forthwith. But do thou send after the porter of
such a khan and the workmen of the dyery and question them all of that
which I have told thee."
Accordingly the King sent for them and questioned them one and all
and they acquainted him with the truth of the matter. Then he summoned
the dyer, saying, "Bring him barefooted, bareheaded, and with elbows
pinioned!" Now he was sitting in his house, rejoicing in Abu Sir's
death, but ere he could be ware, the King's guards rushed in upon him
and cuffed him on the nape, after which they bound him and bore him into
the presence, where he saw Abu Sir seated by the King's side and the
doorkeeper of the khan and workmen of the dyery standing before him.
Quoth the doorkeeper to him: "Is not this thy comrade whom thou robbedst
of his silvers and leftest with me sick in the closet doing
such-and-such by him?" And the workmen said to him, "Is not this he whom
thou badest us seize and beat?" Therewith Abu Kir's baseness was made
manifest to the King, and he was certified that he merited torture yet
sorer than the torments of Munkar and Nakir. So he said to his guards:
"Take him and parade him about the city and the markets; then set him in
a sack and cast him into the sea." Whereupon quoth Abu Sir: "O King of
the Age, accept my intercession for him, for I pardon him all he hath
done with me." But quoth the King: "An thou pardon him all his offenses
against thee, I cannot pardon him his offenses against me." And he cried
out, saying, "Take him."
So they took him and paraded him about the city, after which they set
him in a sack with quicklime and cast him into the sea, and he died,
drowned and burnt. Then said the King to the barber, "O Abu Sir, ask of
me what thou wilt and it shall be given thee." And he answered, saying,
"I ask of thee to send me back to my own country, for I care no longer
to tarry here." Then the King gifted him great store of gifts, over and
above that which he had whilom bestowed on him, and amongst the rest a
galleon freighted with goods. And the crew of this galleon were
Mamelukes, so he gave him these also, after offering to make him his
Wazir, whereto the barber consented not. Presently he farewelled the
King and set sail in his own ship manned by his own crew, nor did he
cast anchor till he reached Alexandria and made fast to the shore there.
They landed, and one of his Mamelukes, seeing a sack on the beach, said
to Abu Sir: "O my lord, there is a great heavy sack on the seashore,
with the mouth tied up, and I know not what therein."
So Abu Sir came up, and opening the sack, found therein the remains
of Abu Kir, which the sea had borne thither. He took it forth, and
burying it near Alexandria, built over the grave a place of visitation.
After this Abu Sir abode awhile, till Allah took him to Himself, and
they buried him hard by the tomb of his comrade Abu Kir, wherefore that
place was called Abu Kir and Abu Sir, but it is now known as Abu Kir
only. This, then, is that which hath reached us of their history, and
glory be to Him Who endureth forever and aye and by Whose will
enterchange the night and the day.
And of the stories they tell is one anent
|
THE SLEEPER AND THE WAKER
IT hath reached me, O auspicious King, that there was once at
Baghdad, in the caliphate of Harun al-Rashid, a man and a merchant who
had a son Abu al-Hasan al-Khali'a by name. The merchant died leaving
great store of wealth to his heir, who divided it into two equal parts,
whereof he laid up one and spent of the other half. And he fell to
companying with Persians and with the sons of the merchants, and he gave
himself up to good drinking and good eating till all the wealth he had
with him was wasted and wantoned. Whereupon he betook himself to his
friends and comrades and cup companions and expounded to them his case,
discovering to them the failure of that which was in his hand of wealth.
But not one of them took heed of him or even deigned answer him.
So he returned to his mother (and indeed his spirit was broken) and
related to her that which had happened to him and what had befallen him
from his friends, how they had neither shared with him nor requited him
with speech. Quoth she: "O Abu al-Hasan, on this wise are the sons of
this time: And thou have aught, they draw thee near to them, and if thou
have naught, they put thee away from them." And she went on to condole
with him, what while he bewailed himself and his tears flowed and he
repeated these lines:
"An wane my wealth, no man will succor me,
When my wealth waxeth all men friendly show.
How many a friend for wealth showed friendliness
Who, when my wealth departed, turned to foe!"
Then he sprang up, and going to the place wherein was the other half
of his goods, took it and lived with it well. And he sware that he would
never again consort with a single one of those he had known, but would
company only with the stranger, nor entertain even him but one night,
and that when it morrowed, he would never know him more. Accordingly he
fell to sitting every eventide on the bridge over Tigris and looking at
each one who passed by him. And if he saw him to be a stranger, he made
friends with him and carried him to his house, where he conversed and
caroused with him all night till morning. Then he dismissed him, and
would never more salute him with the salaam nor ever more drew near unto
him, neither invited him again.
Thus he continued to do for the space of a full year, till one day
while he sat on the bridge, as was his wont, expecting who should come
to him so he might take him and pass the night with him, behold, up came
the Caliph and Masrur, the Sworder of his vengeance, disguised in
merchants' dress, according to their custom. So Abu al-Hasan looked at
them, and rising, because he knew them not, asked them: "What say ye?
Will ye go with me to my dwelling place, so ye may eat what is ready and
drink what is at hand; to wit, platter bread and meat cooked and wine
strained?" The Caliph refused this, but he conjured him and said to him:
"Allah upon thee, O my lord. Go with me, for thou art my guest this
night, and balk not my hopes of thee!" And he ceased not to press him
till he consented, whereat Abu al-Hasan rejoiced, and walking on before
him, gave not over talking with him till they came to his house and he
carried the Caliph into the saloon.
Al-Rashid entered a hall such as an thou sawest it and gazedst upon
its walls, thou hadst beheld marvels, and hadst thou looked narrowly at
its water conduits, thou wouldst have seen a fountain cased with gold.
The Caliph made his man abide at the door, and as soon as he was seated,
the host brought him somewhat to eat. So he ate, and Abu al-Hasan ate
with him, that eating might be grateful to him. Then he removed the tray
and they washed their hands and the Commander of the Faithful sat down
again. Whereupon Abu al-Hasan set on the drinking vessels, and seating
himself by his side, fell to filling and giving him to drink and
entertaining him with discourse. And when they had drunk their
sufficiency the host called for a slave girl like a branch of ban, who
took a lute and sang to it these two couplets:
"O thou aye dwelling in my heart,
Whileas thy form is far from sight,
Thou art my sprite by me unseen,
Yet nearest near art thou, my sprite."
His hospitality pleased the Caliph, and the goodliness of his
manners, and he said to him: "O youth, who art thou? Make me acquainted
with thyself, so I may requite thee thy kindness." But Abu al-Hasan
smiled and said: 'O my lord, far be it, alas! that what is past should
again come to pass and that I company with thee at other time than this
time!" The Prince of True Believers asked: "Why so? And why wilt thou
not acquaint me with thy case?" and Abu al-Hasan answered, "Know, O my
lord, that my story is strange and that there is a cause for this
affair." Quoth Al-Rashid, "And what is the cause?" and quoth he, "The
cause hath a tail." The Caliph laughed at his words and Abu al-Hasan
said, "I will explain to thee this saying by the tale of the larrikin
and the cook. So hear thou, O my lord, the
|
STORY OF THE LARRIKIN AND THE COOK
ONE of the ne'er do-wells found himself one fine morning without
aught, and the world was straitened upon him and patience failed him. So
he lay down to sleep, and ceased not slumbering till the sun stang him
and the foam came out upon his mouth, whereupon he arose, and he was
penniless and had not even so much as a single dirham. Presently he
arrived at the shop of a cook, who had set his pots and pans over the
fire and washed his saucers and wiped his scales and swept his shop and
sprinkled it. And indeed his fats and oils were clear and clarified and
his spices fragrant, and he himself stood behind his cooking pots ready
to serve customers. So the larrikin, whose wits had been sharpened by
hunger, went in to him and saluting him, said to him, "Weigh me half a
dirham's worth of meat and a quarter of a dirham's worth of boiled
grain, and the like of bread." So the kitchener weighed it out to him
and the good-for-naught entered the shop, whereupon the man set the food
before him and he ate till he had gobbled up the whole and licked the
saucers and sat perplexed, knowing not how he should do with the cook
concerning the price of that he had eaten, and turning his eyes about
upon everything in the shop.
And as he looked, behold, he caught sight of an earthen pan lying
arsy-versy upon its mouth, so he raised it from the ground and found
under it a horse's tail, freshly cut off and the blood oozing from it,
whereby he knew that the cook adulterated his meat with horseflesh. When
he discovered this default, he rejoiced therein, and washing his hands,
bowed his head and went out. And when the kitchener saw that he went and
gave him naught, he cried out, saying, "Stay, O pest, O burglar!" So the
larrikin stopped and said to him, "Dost thou cry out upon me and call to
me with these words, O comute?" Whereat the cook was angry, and coming
down from the shop, cried: "What meanest thou by thy speech, O low
fellow, thou that devourest meat and millet and bread and kitchen and
goest forth with 'the peace be on thee!' as it were the thing had not
been and down naught for it?" Quoth the lackpenny, "Thou liest, O
accursed son of a cuckold!" Whereupon the cook cried out, and laying
hold of his debtor's collar, said, "O Moslems, this fellow is my first
customer this day, and he hath eaten my food and given me naught."
So the folk gathered about them and blamed the ne'er-do-well and said
to him, "Give him the price of that which thou hast eaten." Quoth he, "I
gave him a dirham before I entered the shop," and quoth the cook: "Be
everything I sell this day forbidden to me, if he gave me so much as the
name of a coin! By Allah, he gave me naught, but ate my food and went
out and would have made off, without aught said." Answered the larrikin,
"I gave thee a dirham," and he reviled the kitchener, who returned his
abuse, whereupon he dealt him a buffet and they gripped and grappled and
throttled each other. When the folk saw them fighting, they came up to
them and asked them, "What is this strife between you, and no cause for
it?" and the lackpenny answered, "Ay, by Allah, but there is a cause for
it, and the cause hath a tail!" Whereupon cried the cook: "Yea, by
Allah, now thou mindest me of thyself and thy dirham! Yes, he gave me a
dirham, and but a quarter of the coin is spent. Come back and take the
rest of the price of thy dirham." For he understood what was to do, at
the mention of the tail.
"And I, O my brother," added Abu al-Hasan, "my story hath a cause,
which I will tell thee." The Caliph laughed at his speech and said: "By
Allah, this is none other than a pleasant tale! Tell me thy story and
the cause."
Replied the host: "With love and goodly gree! Know, O my lord, that
my name is Abu al-Hasan al-Khali'a and that my father died and left me
abundant wealth, of which I made two parts. One I laid up, and with the
other I betook myself to enjoying the pleasures of friendship and
conviviality and consorting with intimates and boon companions and the
sons of the merchants, nor did I leave one but I caroused with him and
he with me. And I lavished all my money on comrades and good cheer, till
there remained with me naught. Whereupon I betook myself to the friends
and fellow topers upon whom I wasted my wealth, so perhaps they might
provide for my case, but when I visited them and went round about to
them all, I found no vantage in one of them, nor would any so much as
break a bittock of bread in my face. So I wept for myself, and repairing
to my mother, complained to her of my case. Quoth she: 'Such are
friends. An thou have aught, they frequent thee and devour thee, but an
thou have naught, they cast thee off and chase thee away.' Then I
brought out the other half of my money and bound myself by an oath that
I would never more entertain any save one single night, after which I
would never again salute him nor notice him. Hence my saying to thee:
'Far be it, alas! that what is past should again come to pass, for I
will never again company with thee after this night."'
When the Commander of the Faithful heard this, he laughed a loud
laugh and said: "By Allah, O my brother, thou art indeed excused in this
matter, now that I know the cause and that the cause hath a tail.
Nevertheless, Inshallah, I will not sever myself from thee." Replied Abu
al-Hasan: "O my guest, did I not say to thee, 'Far be it, alas! that
what is past should again come to pass?' For indeed I will never again
forgather with any!" Then the Caliph rose and the host set before him a
dish of roast goose and a bannock of first bread, and sitting down, fell
to cutting off morsels and morseling the Caliph therewith. They gave not
over eating till they were filled, when Abu al-Hasan brought basin and
ewer and potash and they washed their hands. Then he lighted three wax
candles and three lamps, and spreading the drinking cloth, brought
strained wine, clear, old, and fragrant, whose scent was as that of
virgin musk. He filled the first cup and saying, "O my boon companion,
be ceremony laid aside between us by thy leave! Thy slave is by thee,
may I not be afflicted with thy loss!" drank if off and filled a second
cup, which he handed to the Caliph with due reverence.
His fashion pleased the Commander of the Faithful, and the goodliness
of his speech, and he said to himself, "By Allah, I will assuredly
requite him for this!" Then Abu al-Hasan filled the cup again and handed
it to the Cahph, reciting these two couplets:
"Had we thy coming known, we would for sacrifice
Have poured thee out heart's blood or blackness of the eyes.
Ay, and we would have spread our bosoms in thy way,
That so thy feet might fare on eyelids, carpet-wise."
When the Caliph heard his verses, he took the cup from his hand and
kissed it and drank it off and returned it to Abu al-Hasan, who made him
an obeisance and filled and drank. Then he filled again, and kissing the
cup thrice, recited these lines:
"Your presence honoreth the base,
And we confess the deed of grace.
An you absent yourself from us,
No freke we find to fill your place."
Then he gave the cup to the Caliph, saying: "Drink it in health and
soundness! It doeth away malady and bringeth remedy and setteth the
runnels of health to flow free." So they ceased not carousing and
conversing till middle night, when the Caliph said to his host, "O my
brother, hast thou in thy heart a concupiscence thou wouldst have
accomplished, or a contingency thou wouldst avert?" Said he: "By Allah,
there is no regret in my heart save that I am not empowered with bidding
and forbidding, so I might manage what is in my mind!" Quoth the
Commander of the Faithful, "By Allah, and again by Allah, O my brother,
tell me what is in thy mind!" And quoth Abu al-Hasan: "Would Heaven I
might be Caliph for one day and avenge myself on my neighbors, for that
in my vicinity is a mosque, and therein four sheikhs, who hold it a
grievance when there cometh a guest to me, and they trouble me with talk
and worry me in words and menace me that they will complain of me to the
Prince of True Believers, and indeed they oppress me exceedingly. And I
crave of Allah the Most High power for one day, that I may beat each and
every of them with four hundred lashes, as well as the imam of the
mosque, and parade them round about the city of Baghdad and bid cry
before them: 'This is the reward and the least of the reward of whoso
exceedeth in talk and vexeth the folk and turneth their joy to annoy.'
This is what I wish, and no more."
Said the Caliph: "Allah grant thee that thou seekest! Let us crack
one last cup and rise ere the dawn draw near, and, tomorrow night I will
be with thee again." Said Abu al-Hasan, "Far be it!" Then the Caliph
crowned a cup, and putting therein a piece of Cretan bhang, gave it to
his host and said to him, "My life on thee, O my brother, drink this cup
from my hand!" and Abu al-Hasan answered, "Ay, by thy life, I will drink
it from thy hand." So he took it and drank it off, but hardly had it
settled in his stomach when his head forewent his heels and he fell to
the ground like one slain. Whereupon the Caliph went out and said to his
slave Masrur: "Go in to yonder young man, the housemaster, and take him
up and bring him to me at the palace. And when thou goest out, shut the
door." So saying, he went away, whilst Masrur entered, and taking up Abu
al-Hasan, shut the door behind him, and made after his master till he
reached with him the palace what while the night drew to an end and the
cocks began crowing, and set him down before the Commander of the
Faithful, who laughed at him.
Then he sent for Ja'afar the Barmecide and when he came before him,
said to him, "Note thou yonder young man," pointing to Abu al-Hasan,
"and when thou shalt see him tomorrow seated in my place of estate and
on the throne of my caliphate and clad in my royal clothing, stand thou
in attendance upon him, and enjoin the emirs and grandees and the folk
of my household and the officers of my realm to be upon their feet, as
in his service, and obey him in whatso he shall bid them do. And thou,
if he speak to thee of aught, do it, and hearken unto his say and
gainsay him not in anything during this coming day." Ja'afar
acknowledged the order with "Hearkening and obedience" and withdrew,
whilst the Prince of True Believers went in to the palace women, who
came up to him, and he said to them: "When this sleeper shall awake
tomorrow, kiss ye the ground between his hands, and do ye wait upon him
and gather round about him and clothe him in the royal clothing and
serve him with the service of the caliphate, and deny not aught of his
estate, but say to him, 'Thou art the Caliph."' Then he taught them what
they should say to him and how they should do with him, and withdrawing
to a retired room, let down a curtain before himself and slept.
Thus fared it with the Caliph, but as regards Abu al-Hasan, he gave
not over snoring in his sleep till the day brake clear and the rising of
the sun drew near, when a woman in waiting came up to him and said to
him, "O our lord, the morning prayer!" Hearing these words, he laughed,
and opening his eyes, turned them about the palace and found himself in
an apartment whose walls were Painted with gold and lapis lazuli and its
ceiling dotted and starred with red gold. Around it were sleeping
chambers with curtains of gold-embroidered silk let down over their
doors, and all about vessels of gold and porcelain and crystal and
furniture and carpets dispread and lamps burning before the niche
wherein men prayed, and slave girls and eunuchs and Mamelukes and black
slaves and boys and pages and attendants.
When he saw this, he was bewildered in his wit and said: "By Allah
either I am dreaming a dream, or this is Paradise and the Abode of
Peace!" And he shut his eyes and would have slept again. Quoth one of
the eunuchs, "O my lord, this is not of thy wont, O Commander of the
Faithful!" Then the rest of the handmaids of the palace came up to him
and lifted him into a sitting posture, when he found himself upon a
mattress raised a cubit's height from the ground and all stuffed with
floss silk. So they seated him upon it and propped his elbow with a
pillow, and he looked at the apartment and its vastness and saw those
eunuchs and slave girls in attendance upon him and standing about his
head, whereupon he laughed at himself and said, "By Allah, 'tis not as I
were on wake, yet I am not asleep!" And in his perplexity he bowed his
chin upon his bosom, and then opened his eyes, little by little,
smiling, and saying, "What is this state wherein I find myself?" Then he
arose and sat up, whilst the damsels laughed at him privily, and he was
bewildered in his wit, and bit his finger, and as the bite pained him,
he cried "Oh!" and was vexed. And the Caliph watched him whence he saw
him not, and laughed.
Presently Abu al-Hasan turned to a damsel and called to her,
whereupon she answered, "At thy service, O Prince of True Believers!"
Quoth he, "What is thy name?" and quoth she, "Shajarat al-Durr." Then he
said to her, "By the protection of Allah, O damsel, am I Commander of
the Faithful?" She replied, "Yes, indeed, by the protection of Allah
thou in this time art Commander of the Faithful." Quoth he, "By Allah,
thou liest, O thousandfold whore!" Then he glanced at the chief eunuch
and called to him, whereupon he came to him and kissing the ground
before him, said, "Yes, O Commander of the Faithful." Asked Abu
al-Hasan, "Who is Commander of the Faithful?" and the eunuch answered
"Thou." And Abu al-Hasan said, "Thou Hest, thousandfold he-whore that
thou art!" Then he turned to another eunuch and said to him, "O my
chief, by the protection of Allah, am I Prince of the True Believers?"
Said he: "Ay, by Allah, O my lord, thou art in this time Commander of
the Faithful and Viceregent of the Lord of the Three Worlds."
Abu al-Hasan laughed at himself and doubted of his reason and was
bewildered at what he beheld, and said: "In one night do I become
Caliph? Yesterday I was Abu al-Hasan the Wag, and today I am Commander
of the Faithful." Then the Chief Eunuch came up to him and said: "O
Prince of True Believers (the name of Allah encompass thee!), thou art
indeed Commander of the Faithful and Viceregent of the Lord of the Three
Worlds!" And the slave girls and eunuchs flocked round about him, till
he arose and abode wondering at his case. Hereupon the eunuch brought
him a pair of sandals wrought with raw silk and green silk and purfled
with red gold, and he took them and after examining them, set them in
his sleeve. Whereat the castrato cried out and said: "Allah! Allah! O my
lord, these are sandals for the treading of thy feet, so thou mayst wend
to the wardrobe." Abu al-Hasan was confounded, and shaking the sandals
from his sleeve, put them on his feet, whilst the Caliph died of
laughter at him. The slave forewent him to the chapel of ease, where he
entered, and doing his job, came out into the chamber, whereupon the
slave girls brought him a basin of gold and a ewer of silver and poured
water on his hands, and he made the wuzu ablution. Then they spread him
a prayer carpet and he prayed.
Now he knew not how to pray, and gave not over bowing and prostrating
for twenty inclinations, pondering in himself the while and saying: "By
Allah, I am none other than the Commander of the Faithful in very truth!
This is assuredly no dream, for all these things happen not in a dream."
And he was convinced and determined in himself that he was Prince of
True Believers, so he pronounced the salaam and finished his prayers,
whereupon the Mamelukes and slave girls came round about him with
bundled suits of silken and linen stuffs and clad him in the costume of
the caliphate and gave the royal dagger in his hand.
Then the chief eunuch came in and said, "O Prince of True Believers,
the Chamberlain is at the door craving permission to enter." Said he,
"Let him enter!" whereupon he came in, and after kissing ground, offered
the salutation, "Peace be upon thee, O Commander of the Faithful!" At
this Abu al-Hasan rose and descended from the couch to the floor,
whereupon the official exclaimed: "Allah! Allah! O Prince of True
Believers, wottest thou not that all men are thy lieges and under thy
rule and that it is not meet for the Caliph to rise to any man?"
Presently the eunuch went out before him, and the little white slaves
behind him, and they ceased not going till they raised the curtain and
brought him into the hall of judgment and the throne room of the
caliphate. There he saw all curtains and the forty doors and Al-'Ijli
and Al-Rakashi the poet, and 'Ibdan and Jadim and Abu Ishak the cup
companion, and beheld swords drawn and the lions compassing the throne
as the white of the eye encircleth the black, and gilded glaives and
death-dealing bows and Ajams and Arabs and Turks and Daylamites and folk
and peoples and emirs and wazirs and captains and grandees and lords of
the land and men of war in band, and in very sooth there appeared the
might of the House of Abbas and the majesty of the Prophet's family.
So he sat down upon the throne of the caliphate and set the dagger on
his lap, whereupon all present came up to kiss ground between his hands
and called down on him length of life and continuance of weal. Then came
forward Ja'afar the Barmecide and, kissing the ground, said: "Be the
wide world of Allah the treading of thy feet, and may Paradise be thy
dwelling place and the fire the home of thy foes! Never may neighbor
defy thee, nor the lights of fire die out for thee, O Caliph of all
cities and ruler of all countries!" Therewithal Abu al-Hasan cried out
at him and said, "O dog of the sons of Barmak, go down forthright, thou
and the chief of the city police, to such a place in such a street, and
deliver a hundred dinars of gold to the mother of Abu al-Hasan the Wag,
and bear her my salutation. Then go to such a mosque and take the four
Sheikhs and the imam and scourge each of them with a thousand lashes and
mount them on beasts, face to tail, and parade them round about all the
city and banish them to a place other than this city. And bid the crier
make cry before them, saying: 'This is the reward and the least of the
reward of whoso multiplieth words and molesteth his neighbors and
damageth their delights and stinteth their eating and drinking!'"
Ja'afar received the command and answered "With obedience," after
which he went down from before Abu al-Hasan to the city and did all he
had ordered him to do. Meanwhile, Abu al-Hasan abode in the caliphate,
taking and giving, bidding and forbidding and carrying out his command
till the end of the day, when he gave leave and permission to withdraw,
and the emirs and officers of state departed to their several
occupations and he looked toward the Chamberlain and the rest of the
attendants and said, "Begone!" Then the eunuchs came to him, and calling
down on him length of life and continuance of weal, walked in attendance
upon him and raised the curtain, and he entered the pavilion of the
harem, where he found candles lighted and lamps burning and singing
women smiting on instruments, and ten slave girls, high-bosomed maids.
When he saw this, he was confounded in his wit and said to himself, "By
Allah, I am in truth Commander of the Faithful!" presently adding: "Or
haply these are of the Jann, and he who was my guest yesternight was one
of their kings who saw no way to requite my favors save by commanding
his Ifrits to address me as Prince of True Believers. But an these be of
the Jann, may Allah deliver me in safety from their mischief!"
As soon as he appeared, the slave girls rose to him, and carrying him
up on to the dais, brought him a great tray bespread with the richest
viands. So he ate thereof with all his might and main, till he had
gotten his fill, when he called one of the handmaids and said to her,
"What is thy name?" Replied she, "My name is Miskah," and he said to
another, "What is thy name?" Quoth she, "My name is Tarkah." Then he
asked a third, "What is thy name?" who answered, "My name is Tohfah."
And he went on to question the damsels of their names, one after other,
till he had learned the ten, when he rose from that place and removed to
the wine chamber. He found it every way complete, and saw therein ten
great trays, covered with all fruits and cates and every sort of
sweetmeats. So he sat down and ate thereof after the measure of his
competency, and finding there three troops of singing girls, was amazed,
and made the girls eat.
Then he sat and the singers also seated themselves, whilst the black
slaves and the white slaves and the eunuchs and pages and boys stood,
and of the slave girls some sat and others stood. The damsels sang and
warbled all varieties of melodies and the place rang with the sweetness
of the songs, whilst the pipes cried out and the lutes with them wailed,
till it seemed to Abu al-Hasan that he was in Paradise, and his heart
was heartened and his breast broadened. So he sported, and joyaunce grew
on him and he bestowed robes of honor on the damsels and gave and
bestowed, challenging this girl and kissing that and toying with a
third, plying one with wine and morseling another with meat, till
nightfall.
All this while the Commander of the Faithful was diverting himself
with watching him and laughing, and when night fell he bade one of the
slave girls drop a piece of bhang in the cup and give it to Abu al-Hasan
to drink. So she did his bidding and gave him the cup, which no sooner
had he drunk than his head forewent his feet. Therewith the Caliph came
forth from behind the curtain laughing, and calling to the attendant who
had brought Abu al-Hasan to the palace, said to him, "Carry this man to
his own place." So Masrur took him up, and carrying him to his own
house, set him down in the saloon. Then he went forth from him, and
shutting the saloon door upon him, returned to the Caliph, who slept
till the morrow.
As for Abu al-Hasan, he gave not over slumbering till Almighty Allah
brought on the morning, when he recovered from the drug and awoke,
crying out and saying: "Ho, Tuffahah! Ho, Rahat al-Kulub! Ho, Miskah!
Ho, Tohfah!" And he ceased not calling upon the palace handmaids till
his mother heard him summoning strange damsels, and rising, came to him
and said: "Allah's name encompass thee! Up with thee, O my son, O Abu
al-Hasan! Thou dreamest." So he opened his eyes, and finding an old
woman at his head, raised his eyes and said to her, "Who art thou?"
Quoth she, "I am thy mother," and quoth he: "Thou liest! I am the
Commander of the Faithful the Viceregent of Allah." Whereupon his mother
shrieked aloud and said to him: "Heaven preserve thy reason! Be silent,
O my son, and cause not the loss of our lives and the wasting of thy
wealth, which will assuredly befall us if any hear this talk and carry
it to the Caliph."
So he rose from his sleep, and finding himself in his own saloon and
his mother by him, had doubts of his wit, and said to her: "By Allah, O
my mother, I saw myself in a dream in a palace, with slave girls and
Mamelukes about me and in attendance upon me, and I sat upon the throne
of the Caliphate and ruled. By Allah, O my mother, this is what I saw,
and in very sooth it was no dream!" Then he bethought himself awhile and
said: "Assuredly, I am Abu al-Hasan al-Khali'a, and this that I saw was
only a dream when I was made Caliph and bade and forbade." Then he
bethought himself again and said: "Nay, but 'twas not a dream, and I am
none other than the Caliph, and indeed I gave gifts and bestowed honor
robes." Quoth his mother to him: "O my son, thou sportest with thy
reason. Thou wilt go to the madhouse and become a gazingstock. Indeed,
that which thou hast seen is only from the Foul Fiend, and it was an
imbroglio of dreams, for at times Satan sporteth with men's wits in all
manner of ways."
Then said she to him, "O my son, was there anyone with thee
yesternight?" And he reflected and said: "Yes, one lay the night with me
and I acquainted him with my case and told him my tale. Doubtless, he
was of the devils, and I, O my mother, even as thou sayst truly, am Abu
al-Hasan al-Khali'a." She rejoined: "O my son, rejoice in tidings of all
good, for yesterday's record is that there came the Wazir Ja'afar the
Barmecide and his many, and beat the Sheikhs of the mosque and the imam,
each a thousand lashes, after which they paraded them round about the
city, making proclamation before them and saying, 'This is the reward
and the least of the reward of whoso faileth in goodwill to his
neighbors and troubleth on them their lives!' And he banished them from
Baghdad. Moreover, the Caliph sent me a hundred dinars and sent to
salute me."
Whereupon Abu al-Hasan cried out and said to her: "O ill-omened
crone, wilt thou contradict me and tell me that I am not the Prince of
True Believers? 'Twas I who commanded Ja'afar the Barmecide to beat the
Sheikhs and parade them about the city and make proclamation before
them, and 'twas I, very I, who sent thee the hundred dinars and sent to
salute thee, and I, O beldam of ill luck, am in very deed the Commander
of the Faithful, and thou art a liar, who would make me out an idiot."
So saying, he rose up and fell upon her and beat her with a staff of
almond wood, till she cried out "Help, O Moslems!" And he increased the
beating upon her till the folk heard her cries, and coming to her, found
Abu al-Hasan bashing his mother and saying to her: "Old woman of ill
omen, am I not the Commander of the Faithful? Thou hast ensorceled me!"
When the folk heard his words, they said, "This man raveth," and doubted
not of his madness.
So they came in upon him, and seizing him, pinioned his elbows, and
bore him to the bedlam. Quoth the superintendant, "What aileth this
youth?" and quoth they, "This is a madman, afflicted of the Jinn." "By
Allah," cried Abu al-Hasan, "they lie against me! I am no madman, but
the Commander of the Faithful." And the superintendent answered him,
saying, "None lieth but thou, O foulest of the Jinn-maddened!" Then he
stripped him of his clothes, and clapping on his neck a heavy chain,
bound him to a high lattice and fell to beating him two bouts a day and
two a-nights, and he ceased not abiding on this wise the space of ten
days. Then his mother came to him and said: "O my son, O Abu al-Hasan,
return to thy right reason, for this is the Devil's doing." Quoth he:
"Thou sayest sooth, O my mother, and bear thou witness of me that I
repeat me of that talk and turn me from my madness. So do thou deliver
me, for I am nigh upon death." Accordingly his mother went out to the
superintendent and procured his release, and he returned to his own
house.
Now this was at the beginning of the month, and when it ended, Abu
al-Hasan longed to drink liquor and, returning to his former habit,
furnished his saloon and made ready food and bade bring wine. Then,
going forth to the bridge, he sat there, expecting one whom he should
converse and carouse with, according to his custom. As he sat thus,
behold, up came the Caliph and Masrur to him, but Abu al-Hasan saluted
them not and said to Al-Rashid, "No friendly welcome to thee, O King of
the Jann!" Quoth Al-Rashid, "What have I done to thee?" and quoth Abu
al-Hasan, "What more couldst thou do than what thou hast done to me, O
foulest of the Jann? I have been beaten and thrown into bedlam, where
all said I was Jinn-mad, and this was caused by none save thyself. I
brought thee to my house and fed thee with my best, after which thou
dist empower thy Satans and Marids to disport themselves with my wits
from morning to evening. So avaunt and aroynt thee and wend thy ways!"
The Caliph smiled and, seating himself by his side, said to him, "O
my brother, did I not tell thee that I would return to thee?" Quoth Abu
al-Hasan, "I have no need of thee, and as the byword sayeth in verse:
"Fro' my friend, 'twere meeter and wiser to part,
For what eye sees not born shall ne'er sorrow heart."
And indeed, O my brother, the night thou camest to me and we
conversed and caroused together, I and thou, 'twas as if the Devil came
to me and troubled me that night." Asked the Caliph, "And who is he, the
Devil?" and answered Abu al-Hasan, "He is none other than thou." Whereat
the Caliph laughed and coaxed him and spake him fair, saying: "O my
brother, when I went out from thee, I forgot the door and left it open,
and perhaps Satan came in to thee." Quoth Abu al-Hasan: "Ask me not of
that which hath betided me. What possessed thee to leave the door open,
so that the Devil came in to me and there befell me with him this and
that?" And he related to him all that had betided him, first and last
(and in repetition is no fruition), what while the Caliph laughed and
hid his laughter.
Then said he to Abu al-Hasan: "Praised be Allah who hath done away
from thee whatso irked thee, and that I see thee once more in weal!" And
Abu al-Hasan said: "Never again will I take thee to cup companion or
sitting comrade, for the proverb saith, 'Whoso stumbleth on a stone and
thereto returneth, upon him be blame and reproach.' And thou, O my
brother, nevermore will I entertain thee nor company with thee, for that
I have not found thy heel propitious to me." But the Caliph coaxed him
and said, "I have been the means of thy winning to thy wish anent the
imam and the Sheikhs." Abu al-Hasan replied, "Thou hast," and Al-Rashid
continued, "And haply somewhat may betide which shall gladden thy heart
yet more." Abu al-Hasan asked, "What dost thou require of me?" and the
Commander of the Faithful answered: "Verily, I am thy guest. Reject not
the guest." Quoth Abu al-Hasan: "On condition that thou swear to me by
the characts on the seal of Solomon, David's son (on the twain be the
peace!) that thou wilt not suffer thine Ifrits to make fun of me." He
replied, "To hear is to obey!"
Whereupon the wag took him and brought him into the saloon and set
food before him and entreated him with friendly speech. Then he told him
all that had befallen him, whilst the Caliph was like to die of stifled
laughter. After which Abu al-Hasan removed the tray of food, and
bringing the wine service, filled a cup and cracked it three times, then
gave it to the Caliph, saying: "O boon companion mine, I am thy slave,
and let not that which I am about to say offend thee, and be thou not
vexed, neither do thou vex me." And he recited these verses:
"Hear one that wills thee well! Lips none shall bless
Save those who drink for drunk and all transgress.
Ne'er will I cease to swill while night falls dark
Till lout my forehead low upon my tass.
In wine like liquid sun is my delight
Which clears all care and gladdens allegresse."
When the Caliph heard these his verses and saw how apt he was at
couplets, he was delighted with exceeding delight, and taking the cup,
drank it off, and the twain ceased not to converse and carouse till the
wine rose to their heads. Then quoth Abu al-Hasan to the Caliph: "O boon
companion mine, of a truth I am perplexed concerning my affair, for
meseemed I was Commander of the Faithful and ruled and gave gifts and
largess, and in very deed, O my brother, it was not a dream." Quoth the
Caliph, "These were the imbroglios of sleep," and crumbling a bit of
bhang into the cup, said to him, "By my life, do thou drink this cup,"
and said Abu al-Hasan, "Surely I will drink it from thy hand." Then he
took the cup and drank it off, and no sooner had it settled in his
stomach than his head fell to the ground before his feet. Now his
manners and fashions pleased the Caliph, and the excellence of his
composition and his frankness, and he said in himself, "I will assuredly
make him my cup companion and sitting comrade." So he rose forthright,
and saying to Masrur, "Take him up," returned to the palace.
Accordingly, the eunuch took up Abu al-Hasan, and carrying him to the
palace of the caliphate, set him down before Al-Rashid, who bade the
slaves and slave girls compass him about, whilst he himself hid in a
place where Abu al-Hasan could not see him. Then he commanded one of the
handmaidens to take the lute and strike it over the wag's head, whilst
the rest smote upon their instruments. So they played and sang, till Abu
al-Hasan awoke at the last of the night and heard the symphony of lutes
and tambourines and the sound of the flutes and the singing of the slave
girls, whereupon he opened eyes, and finding himself in the palace, with
the handmaids and eunuchs about him, exclaimed: "There is no Majesty and
there is no Might save in Allah, the Glorious, the Great! Come to my
help this night, which meseems more unlucky than the former! Verily, I
am fearful of the madhouse and of that which I suffered therein the
first time, and I doubt not but the Devil is come to me again, as
before. O Allah, my Lord, put thou Satan to shame!" Then he shut his
eyes and laid his head in his sleeve, and fell to laughing softly and
raising his head betimes, but still found the apartment lighted and the
girls singing.
Presently one of the eunuchs sat down at his head and said to him,
"Sit up, O Prince of True Believers, and look on thy palace and thy
slave girls." Said Abu al-Hasan: "Under the veil of Allah, am I in truth
Commander of the Faithful, and dost thou not lie? Yesterday I rode not
forth, neither ruled, but drank and slept, and this eunuch cometh to
make me rise." Then he sat up and recalled to thought that which had
betided him with his mother and how he had beaten her and entered the
bedlam, and he saw the marks of the beating wherewith the superintendant
had beaten him, and was perplexed concerning his affair and pondered in
himself, saying, "By Allah, I know not how my case is nor what is this
that betideth me!" Then, gazing at the scene around him, he said
privily, "All these are of the Jann in human shape, and I commit my case
to Allah."
Presently he turned to one of the damsels and said to her, "Who am
I?" Quoth she, "Thou art the Commander of the Faithful," and quoth he:
"Thou liest, O calamity! If I be indeed the Commander of the Faithful,
bite my finger." So she came to him and bit it with all her might, and
he said to her, "It doth suffice." Then he asked the chief eunuch, "Who
am I?" and he answered, "Thou art the Commander of the Faithful." So he
left him and returned to his wonderment. Then, turning to a little white
slave, said to him, "Bite my ear," and he bent his head low down to him
and put his ear to his mouth. Now the Mameluke was young and lacked
sense, so he closed his teeth upon Abu al-Hasan's ear with all his
might, till he came near to sever it. And he knew not Arabic, so as
often as the wag said to him, "It doth suffice," he concluded that he
said, "Bite like a vice," and redoubled his bite and made his teeth meet
in the ear, whilst the damsels were diverted from him with hearkening to
the singing girls, and Abu al-Hasan cried out for succor from the boy
and the Caliph lost his senses for laughter.
Then he dealt the boy a cuff, and he let go his ear, whereupon all
present fell down with laughter and said to the little Mameluke, "Art
mad that thou bitest the Caliph's ear on this wise?" And Abu al-Hasan
cried to them: "Sufficeth ye not, O ye wretched Jinns, that which hath
befallen me? But the fault is not yours. The fault is of your chief, who
transmewed you from Jinn shape to mortal shape. I seek refuge against
you this night by the Throne Verse and the Chapter of Sincerity and the
Two Preventives!" So saying, the wag put off his clothes till he was
naked, with prickle and breech exposed, and danced among the slave
girls. They bound his hands and he wantoned among them, while they died
of laughing at him and the Caliph swooned away for excess of laughter.
Then he came to himself, and going forth the curtain to Abu al-Hasan,
said to him: "Out on thee, O Abu al-Hasan! Thou slayest me with
laughter." So he turned to him, and knowing him, said to him, "By Allah,
'tis thou slayest me and slayest my mother and slewest the Sheikhs and
the imam of the mosque!" After which he kissed ground before him and
prayed for the permanence of his prosperity and the endurance of his
days. The Caliph at once robed him in a rich robe and gave him a
thousand dinars, and presently he took the wag into especial favor and
married him and bestowed largess on him and lodged him with himself in
the palace and made him of the chief of his cup companions, and indeed
he was preferred with him above them, and the Caliph advanced him over
them all, so that he sat with him and the Lady Zubaydah bint al-Kasim,
whose treasuress, Nuzhat al-Fuad hight, was given to him in marriage.
After this Abu al-Hasan the wag abode with his wife in eating and
drinking and all delight of life, till whatso was with them went the way
of money, when he said to her, "Harkye, O Nuzhat al-Fuad!" Said she, "At
thy service," and he continued, "I have it in mind to play a trick on
the Caliph, and thou shalt do the like with the Lady Zubaydah, and we
will take of them at once, to begin with, two hundred dinars and two
pieces of silk." She rejoined, "As thou willest, but what thinkest thou
to do?" And he said: "We will feign ourselves dead, and this is the
trick. I will die before thee and lay myself out, and do thou spread
over me a silken napkin and loose my turban over me and tie my toes and
lay on my stomach a knife and a little salt. Then let down thy hair and
betake thyself to thy mistress Zubaydah, tearing thy dress and slapping
thy face and crying out. She will ask thee, 'What aileth thee?' and do
thou answer her, 'May thy head outlive Abu al-Hasan the wag, for he is
dead.' She will mourn for me and weep and bid her new treasuress give
thee a hundred dinars and a piece of silk and will say to thee, 'Go, lay
him out and carry him forth.' So do thou take of her the hundred dinars
and the piece of silk and come back, and when thou returnest to me, I
will rise up and thou shalt lie down in my place, and I will go to the
Caliph and say to him, 'May thy head outlive Nuzhat al-Fuad,' and rend
my raiment and pluck out my beard. He will mourn for thee and say to his
treasurer, 'Give Abu al-Hasan a hundred dinars and a piece of silk.'
Then he will say to me, 'Go, lay her out and carry her forth,' and I
will come back to thee."
Therewith Nuzhat al-Fuad rejoiced and said, "Indeed, this is an
excellent device." Then Abu al-Hasan stretched himself out forthright
and she shut his eyes and tied his feet and covered him with the napkin
and did whatso her lord had bidden her. After which she tare her gear
and bared her head and letting down her hair, went in to the Lady
Zubaydah, crying out and weeping. When the Princess saw her in this
state, she cried: "What plight is this? What is thy story, and what
maketh thee weep?" And Nuzhatal-Fuad answered, weeping and loud-wailing
the while: "O my lady, may thy head live and mayst thou survive Abu
al-Hasan al-Khali'a, for he is dead!" The Lady Zubaydah mourned for him
and said, "Alas, poor Abu al-Hasan the wag!" and she shed tears for him
awhile. Then she bade her treasuress give Nuzhat al-Fuad a hundred
dinars and a piece of silk and said to her, "O Nuzhat al-Fuad, go, lay
him out and carry him forth."
So she took the hundred dinars and the piece of silk and returned to
her dwelling, rejoicing, and went in to her spouse and acquainted him
what had befallen, whereupon he arose and rejoiced and girdled his
middle and danced and took the hundred dinars and the piece of silk and
laid them up. Then he laid out Nuzhat al-Fuad and did with her as she
had done with him, after which he rent his raiment and plucked out his
beard and disordered his turban and ran out, nor ceased running till he
came in to the Caliph, who was sitting in the judgment hall, and he in
this plight, beating his breast. The Caliph asked him, "What aileth
thee, O Abu al-Hasan?" and he wept and answered, "Would Heaven thy cup
companion had never been, and would his hour had never come!" Quoth the
Caliph, "Tell me thy case," and quoth Abu al-Hasan, "O my lord, may thy
head outlive Nuzhat al-Fuad!" The Caliph exclaimed, "There is no god but
God," and smote hand upon hand. Then he comforted Abu al-Hasan and said
to him, "Grieve not, for we will bestow upon thee a bedfellow other than
she." And he ordered the treasurer to give him a hundred dinars and a
piece of silk. Accordingly the treasurer did what the Caliph bade him,
and Al-Rashid said to him, "Go, lay her out and carry her forth and make
her a handsome funeral."
So Abu al-Hasan took that which he had given him and returning to his
house, rejoicing, went in to Nuzhat al-Fuad and said to her, "Arise, for
our wish" is won." Hereat she arose and he laid before her the hundred
ducats and the piece of silk, whereat she rejoiced, and they added the
gold to the gold and the silk to the silk and sat talking and laughing
each to other.
Meanwhile, when Abu al-Hasan fared forth the presence of the Caliph
and went to lay out Nuzhat al-Fuad, the Commander of the Faithful
mourned for her, and dismissing the Divan, arose and betook himself,
leaning upon Masrur, the Sworder of his vengeance, to the Lady Zubaydah,
that he might condole with her for her handmaid. He found her sitting
weeping and awaiting his coming, so she might condole with him for his
boon companion Abu al-Hasan the wag. So he said to her, "May thy head
outlive thy slave girl Nuzhat al-Fuad!" and said she: "O my lord, Allah
preserve my slave girl! Mayst thou live and long survive thy boon
companion Abu al-Hasan al-Khali'a, for he is dead." The Caliph smiled
and said to his eunuch: "O Masrur, verily women are little of wit. Allah
upon thee, say, was not Abu al-Hasan with me but now?" Quoth the Lady
Zubaydah, laughing from a heart full of wrath: "Wilt thou not leave thy
jesting? Sufficeth thee not that Abu al-Hasan is dead, but thou must put
to death my slave girl also and bereave us of the twain, and style me
little of wit?" The Caliph answered, "Indeed, 'tis Nuzhat al-Fuad who is
dead." And the Lady Zubaydah said: "Indeed he hath not been with thee,
nor hast thou seen him, and none was with me but now save Nuzhat
al-Fuad, and she sorrowful, weeping, with her clothes torn to tatters. I
exhorted her to patience and gave her a hundred dinars and a piece of
silk, and indeed I was awaiting thy coming, so I might console thee for
thy cup companion Abu al-Hasan al-Khali'a, and was about to send for
thee." The Caliph laughed and said, "None is dead save Nuzhat al-Fuad,"
and she, "No, no, good my lord; none is dead but Abu al-Hasan the wag."
With this the Caliph waxed wroth, and the hashimi vein started out
from between his eyes and throbbed, and he cried out to Masrur and said
to him, "Fare thee forth to the house of Abu al-Hasan the wag, and see
which of them is dead." So Masrur went out, running, and the Caliph said
to the Lady Zubaydah, "Wilt thou lay me a wager?" And said she, "Yes, I
will wager, and I say that Abu al-Hasan is dead." Rejoined the Caliph:
"And I wager and say that none is dead save Nuzhat al-Fuad, and the
stake between me and thee shall be the Garden of Pleasaunce against thy
palace and the Pavilion of Pictures." So they agreed upon this and sat
awaiting Masrur's return with the news.
As for the eunuch, he ceased not running till he came to the
by-street wherein was the stead of Abu al-Hasan al-Khali'a. Now the wag
was comfortably seated and leaning back against the lattice, and
chancing to look round, saw Masrur running along the street and said to
Nuzhat al-Fuad, "Meseemeth the Caliph, when I went forth from him,
dismissed the Divan and went in to the Lady Zubaydah to condole with
her, whereupon she arose and condoled with him, saying, 'Allah increase
thy recompense for the loss of Abu al-Hasan al-Khali'a!' And he said to
her, 'None is dead save Nuzhat al-Fuad, may thy head outlive her!' Quoth
she, ''Tis not she who is dead, but Abu al-Hasan al-Khali'a, thy boon
companion.' And quoth he, 'None is dead save Nuzhat al-Fuad.' And they
waxed so obstinate that the Caliph became wroth and they laid a wager,
and he hath sent Masrur the Sworder to see who is dead. Now, therefore,
'twere best that thou lie down, so he may sight thee and go and acquaint
the Caliph and confirm my saying."
So Nuzhat al-Fuad stretched herself out and Abu al-Hasan covered her
with her mantilla and sat weeping at her head. Presently, Masrur, the
eunuch, suddenly came in to him and saluted him, and seeing Nuzhat
al-Fuad stretched out, uncovered her face and said: "There is no god but
God! Our sister Nuzhat al-Fuad is dead indeed. How sudden was the stroke
of Destiny! Allah have ruth on thee and acquit thee of all charge!" Then
he returned and related what had passed before the Caliph and the Lady
Zubaydah, and he laughing as he spoke. "O accursed one," cried the
Caliph: "this is no time for laughter! Tell us which is dead of them."
Masrur replied: "By Allah, O my lord, Abu al-Hasan is well, and none is
dead but Nuzhat al-Fuad." Quoth the Caliph to Zubaydah, "Thou hast lost
thy pavilion in thy play," and he jeered at her. and said, "O Masrur,
tell her what thou sawest."
Quoth the eunuch: "Verily, O my lady, I ran without ceasing till I
came in to Abu al-Hasan in his house, and found Nuzhat al-Fuad lying
dead and Abu al-Hasan sitting tearful at her head. I saluted him and
condoled with him and sat down by his side and uncovered the face of
Nuzhat al-Fuad and saw her dead and her face swollen. So I said to him,
'Carry her out forthwith, so we may pray over her.' He replied, ''Tis
well,' and I left him to lay her out and came hither, that I might tell
you the news." The Prince of True Believers laughed and said, "Tell it
again and again to thy lady Little-wits." When the Lady Zubaydah heard
Masrur's words and those of the Caliph she was wroth and said, "None is
little of wit save he who believeth a black slave." And she abused
Masrur, whilst the Commander of the Faithful laughed; and the eunuch,
vexed at this, said to the Caliph, "He spake sooth who said, 'Women are
little of wits and lack religion."'
Then said the Lady Zubaydah to the Caliph: "O Commander of the
Faithful, thou sportest and jestest with me, and this slave hoodwinketh
me, the better to please thee. But I will send and see which of them be
dead." And he answered, saying, "Send one who shall see which of them is
dead." So the Lady Zubaydah cried out to an old duenna, and said to her:
"Hie thee to the house of Nuzhat al-Fuad in haste and see who is dead,
and loiter not." And she used hard words to her. So the old woman went
out running, whilst the Prince of True Believers and Masrur laughed, and
she ceased not running till she came into the street. Abu al-Hasan saw
her, and knowing her, said to his wife: "O Nuzhat al-Fuad, meseemeth the
Lady Zubaydah hath sent to us to see who is dead and hath not given
credit to Masrur's report of thy death. Accordingly she hath dispatched
the old crone, her duenna, to discover the truth. So it behooveth me to
be dead in my turn for the sake of thy credit with the Lady Zubaydah."
Hereat he lay down and stretched himself out, and she covered him and
bound his eyes and feet and sat in tears at his head. Presently the old
woman came in to her and saw her sitting at Abu al-Hasan's head, weeping
and recounting his fine qualities; and when she saw the old trot, she
cried out and said to her: "See what hath befallen me! Indeed Abu
al-Hasan is dead and hath left me lone and lorn!" Then she shrieked out
and rent her raiment and said to the crone, "O my mother, how very good
he was to me!" Quoth the other, "Indeed thou art excused, for thou wast
used to him and he to thee."
Then she considered what Masrur had reported to the Caliph and the
Lady Zubaydah and said to her, "Indeed, Masrur goeth about to cast
discord between the Caliph and the Lady Zubaydah." Asked Nuzhat al-Fuad,
"And what is the cause of discord, O my mother?" and the other replied:
"O my daughter, Masrur came to the Caliph and the Lady Zubaydah and gave
them news of thee that thou wast dead and that Abu al-Hasan was well."
Nuzhat al-Fuad said to her: "O naunty mine, I was with my lady just now
and she gave me a hundred dinars and a piece of silk, and now see my
case and that which hath befallen me! Indeed I am bewildered, and how
shall I do, and I lone and lorn? Would Heaven I had died and he had
lived!" Then she wept and with her wept the old woman, who, going up to
Abu al-Hasan and uncovering his face, saw his eyes bound and swollen for
the swathing. So she covered him again and said, "Indeed, O Nuzhat
al-Fuad, thou art afflicted in Abu al-Hasan!"
Then she condoled with her, and going out from her, ran along the
street till she came into the Lady Zubaydah and related to her the
story, and the Princess said to her, laughing: "Tell it over again to
the Caliph, who maketh me out little of wit, and lacking of religion,
and who made this ill-omened liar of a slave presume to contradict me."
Quoth Masrur, "This old woman lieth, for I saw Abu al-Hasan well and
Nuzhat al-Fuad it was who lay dead." Quoth the duenna, "'Tis thou that
liest, and wouldst fain cast discord-between the Caliph and the Lady
Zubaydah." And Masrur cried, "None lieth but thou, O old woman of ill
omen, and thy lady believeth thee, and she must be in her dotage."
Whereupon the Lady Zubaydah cried out at him, and in very sooth she was
enraged with him and with his speech and shed tears.
Then said the Caliph to her: "I lie and my eunuch lieth, and thou
liest and thy waiting-woman lieth, so 'tis my rede we go, all four of us
together, that we may see which of us telleth the truth." Masrur said:
"Come, let us go, that I may do to this ill-omened old woman evil deeds
and deal her a sound drubbing for her lying." And the duenna answered
him: "O dotard, is thy wit like into my wit? Indeed thy wit is as the
hen's wit." Masrur was incensed at her words and would have laid violent
hands on her, but the Lady Zubaydah pushed him away from her and said to
him, "Her truthspeaking will presently be distinguished from thy
truth-speaking and her leasing from thy leasing." Then they all four
arose, laying wagers one with other, and went forth afoot from the
palace gate and hied on till they came in at the gate of the street
where Abu al-Hasan al-Khali'a dwelt.
He saw them, and said to his wife, Nuzhat al-Fuad: "Verily, all that
is sticky is not a pancake they cook, nor every time shall the crock
escape the shock. It seemeth the old woman hath gone and told her lady
and acquainted her with our case and she hath disputed with Masrur, the
eunuch, and they have laid wagers each with other about our death and
are come to us, all four, the Caliph and the eunuch and the Lady
Zubaydah and the old trot." When Nuzhat al-Fuad heard this, she started
up from her outstretched posture and asked, "How shall we do?" whereto
he answered, "We will both feign ourselves dead together and stretch
ourselves out and hold out breath." So she hearkened unto him and they
both lay down on the place where they usually slept the siesta and bound
their feet and shut their eyes and covered themselves with the veil and
held their breath.
Presently up came the Caliph, Zubaydah, Masrur, and the old woman,
and entering, found Abu al-Hasan the wag and wife both stretched out as
dead, which when the Lady saw, she wept and said: "They ceased not to
bring ill news of my slave girl till she died. Methinketh Abu al-Hasan's
death was grievous to her and that she died after him." Quoth the
Caliph: "Thou shalt not prevent me with thy prattle and prate. She
certainly died before Abu al-Hasan, for he came to me with his raiment
rent and his beard plucked out, beating his breast with two bits of
unbaked brick, and I gave him a hundred dinars and a piece of silk and
said too him, 'Go, bear her forth, and I will give thee a bedfellow
other than she and handsomer, and she shall be instead of her.' But it
would appear that her death was no light matter to him and he died after
her, so it is I who have beaten thee and gotten thy stake." The Lady
Zubaydah answered him in words galore, and the dispute between them
waxed sore.
At last the Caliph sat down at the heads of the pair and said: "By
the tomb of the Apostle of Allah (whom may He save and assain!) and the
sepulchers of my fathers and forefathers, whoso will tell me which of
them died before the other, I will willingly give him a thousand
dinars!" When Abu al-Hasan heard the Caliph's words, he sprang up in
haste and said: "I died first, O Commander of the Faithful! Here with
the thousand dinars, and acquit thee of thine oath and the swear thou
sworest." Nuzhat al-Fuad rose also and stood up before the Caliph and
the Lady Zubaydah, who both rejoiced in this and in their safety, and
the Princess chid her slave girl. Then the Caliph and Zubaydah gave them
joy of their well-being and knew that this death was a trick to get the
gold, and the Lady said to Nuzhat al-Fuad: "Thou shouldst have sought of
me that which thou neededst, without this fashion, and not have burned
my heart for thee." And she, "Verily, I was ashamed, O my lady."
As for the Caliph, he swooned away for laughing and said, "O Abu
al-Hasan, thou wilt never cease to be a wag and do peregrine things and
prodigious!" Quoth he: "O Commander of the Faithful, this trick I played
off for that the money which thou gavest me was exhausted, and I was
ashamed to ask of thee again. When I was single, I could never keep
money in hand, but since thou marriedst me to this damsel, if I
possessed even thy wealth, I should lay it waste. Wherefore when all
that was in my hand was spent, I wrought this sleight so I might get of
thee the hundred dinars and the piece of silk, and all this is an alms
from our lord. But now make haste to give me the thousand dinars and
acquit thee of thine oath." The Caliph and the Lady Zubaydah laughed and
returned to the palace, and he gave Abu al-Hasan the thousand dinars
saying, "Take them as a douceur for thy perservation from death," whilst
her mistress did the like with Nuzhat al-Fuad, honoring her with the
same words. Moreover, the Caliph increased the wag in his solde and
supplies, and he and his wife ceased not to live in joy and contentment
till there came to them the Destroyer of delights and Severer of
societies, the Plunderer of palaces, and the Gamerer of graves.
And among tales they tell is one touching
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