PART II.
A VOYAGE TO BROBDINGNAG.
CHAPTER I.
A great storm described; the long boat sent
to fetch water; the author goes with it to discover the
country. He is left on shore, is seized by one of the natives,
and carried to a farmer’s house. His reception, with several
accidents that happened there. A description of the
inhabitants.
Having been condemned, by nature and fortune, to active and
restless life, in two months after my return, I again left my
native country, and took shipping in the Downs, on the 20th day
of June, 1702, in the Adventure, Captain John Nicholas, a
Cornish man, commander, bound for Surat. We had a very
prosperous gale, till we arrived at the Cape of Good Hope, where
we landed for fresh water; but discovering a leak, we unshipped
our goods and wintered there; for the captain falling sick of an
ague, we could not leave the Cape till the end of March. We
then set sail, and had a good voyage till we passed the Straits
of Madagascar; but having got northward of that island, and to
about five degrees south latitude, the winds, which in those
seas are observed to blow a constant equal gale between the
north and west, from the beginning of December to the beginning
of May, on the 19th of April began to blow with much greater
violence, and more westerly than usual, continuing so for twenty
days together: during which time, we were driven a little to the
east of the Molucca Islands, and about three degrees northward
of the line, as our captain found by an observation he took the
2nd of May, at which time the wind ceased, and it was a perfect
calm, whereat I was not a little rejoiced. But he, being a man
well experienced in the navigation of those seas, bid us all
prepare against a storm, which accordingly happened the day
following: for the southern wind, called the southern monsoon,
began to set in.
Finding it was likely to overblow, we took in our sprit-sail,
and stood by to hand the fore-sail; but making foul weather, we
looked the guns were all fast, and handed the mizen. The ship
lay very broad off, so we thought it better spooning before the
sea, than trying or hulling. We reefed the fore-sail and set
him, and hauled aft the fore-sheet; the helm was hard
a-weather. The ship wore bravely. We belayed the fore
down-haul; but the sail was split, and we hauled down the yard,
and got the sail into the ship, and unbound all the things clear
of it. It was a very fierce storm; the sea broke strange and
dangerous. We hauled off upon the laniard of the whip-staff,
and helped the man at the helm. We would not get down our
topmast, but let all stand, because she scudded before the sea
very well, and we knew that the top-mast being aloft, the ship
was the wholesomer, and made better way through the sea, seeing
we had sea-room. When the storm was over, we set fore-sail and
main-sail, and brought the ship to. Then we set the mizen,
main-top-sail, and the fore-top-sail. Our course was
east-north-east, the wind was at south-west. We got the
starboard tacks aboard, we cast off our weather-braces and
lifts; we set in the lee-braces, and hauled forward by the
weather-bowlings, and hauled them tight, and belayed them, and
hauled over the mizen tack to windward, and kept her full and by
as near as she would lie.
During this storm, which was followed by a strong wind
west-south-west, we were carried, by my computation, about five
hundred leagues to the east, so that the oldest sailor on board
could not tell in what part of the world we were. Our
provisions held out well, our ship was staunch, and our crew all
in good health; but we lay in the utmost distress for water. We
thought it best to hold on the same course, rather than turn
more northerly, which might have brought us to the north-west
part of Great Tartary, and into the Frozen Sea.
On the 16th day of June, 1703, a boy on the top-mast
discovered land. On the 17th, we came in full view of a great
island, or continent (for we knew not whether;) on the south
side whereof was a small neck of land jutting out into the sea,
and a creek too shallow to hold a ship of above one hundred
tons. We cast anchor within a league of this creek, and our
captain sent a dozen of his men well armed in the long-boat,
with vessels for water, if any could be found. I desired his
leave to go with them, that I might see the country, and make
what discoveries I could. When we came to land we saw no river
or spring, nor any sign of inhabitants. Our men therefore
wandered on the shore to find out some fresh water near the sea,
and I walked alone about a mile on the other side, where I
observed the country all barren and rocky. I now began to be
weary, and seeing nothing to entertain my curiosity, I returned
gently down towards the creek; and the sea being full in my
view, I saw our men already got into the boat, and rowing for
life to the ship. I was going to holla after them, although it
had been to little purpose, when I observed a huge creature
walking after them in the sea, as fast as he could: he waded not
much deeper than his knees, and took prodigious strides: but our
men had the start of him half a league, and, the sea thereabouts
being full of sharp-pointed rocks, the monster was not able to
overtake the boat. This I was afterwards told, for I durst not
stay to see the issue of the adventure; but ran as fast as I
could the way I first went, and then climbed up a steep hill,
which gave me some prospect of the country. I found it fully
cultivated; but that which first surprised me was the length of
the grass, which, in those grounds that seemed to be kept for
hay, was about twenty feet high.
I fell into a high road, for so I took it to be, though it
served to the inhabitants only as a foot-path through a field of
barley. Here I walked on for some time, but could see little on
either side, it being now near harvest, and the corn rising at
least forty feet. I was an hour walking to the end of this
field, which was fenced in with a hedge of at least one hundred
and twenty feet high, and the trees so lofty that I could make
no computation of their altitude. There was a stile to pass
from this field into the next. It had four steps, and a stone
to cross over when you came to the uppermost. It was impossible
for me to climb this stile, because every step was six-feet
high, and the upper stone about twenty. I was endeavouring to
find some gap in the hedge, when I discovered one of the
inhabitants in the next field, advancing towards the stile, of
the same size with him whom I saw in the sea pursuing our boat.
He appeared as tall as an ordinary spire steeple, and took about
ten yards at every stride, as near as I could guess. I was
struck with the utmost fear and astonishment, and ran to hide
myself in the corn, whence I saw him at the top of the stile
looking back into the next field on the right hand, and heard
him call in a voice many degrees louder than a speaking-trumpet:
but the noise was so high in the air, that at first I certainly
thought it was thunder. Whereupon seven monsters, like himself,
came towards him with reaping-hooks in their hands, each hook
about the largeness of six scythes. These people were not so
well clad as the first, whose servants or labourers they seemed
to be; for, upon some words he spoke, they went to reap the corn
in the field where I lay. I kept from them at as great a
distance as I could, but was forced to move with extreme
difficulty, for the stalks of the corn were sometimes not above
a foot distant, so that I could hardly squeeze my body betwixt
them. However, I made a shift to go forward, till I came to a
part of the field where the corn had been laid by the rain and
wind. Here it was impossible for me to advance a step; for the
stalks were so interwoven, that I could not creep through, and
the beards of the fallen ears so strong and pointed, that they
pierced through my clothes into my flesh. At the same time I
heard the reapers not a hundred yards behind me. Being quite
dispirited with toil, and wholly overcome by grief and dispair,
I lay down between two ridges, and heartily wished I might there
end my days. I bemoaned my desolate widow and fatherless
children. I lamented my own folly and wilfulness, in attempting
a second voyage, against the advice of all my friends and
relations. In this terrible agitation of mind, I could not
forbear thinking of Lilliput, whose inhabitants looked upon me
as the greatest prodigy that ever appeared in the world; where I
was able to draw an imperial fleet in my hand, and perform those
other actions, which will be recorded for ever in the chronicles
of that empire, while posterity shall hardly believe them,
although attested by millions. I reflected what a mortification
it must prove to me, to appear as inconsiderable in this nation,
as one single Lilliputian would be among us. But this I
conceived was to be the least of my misfortunes; for, as human
creatures are observed to be more savage and cruel in proportion
to their bulk, what could I expect but to be a morsel in the
mouth of the first among these enormous barbarians that should
happen to seize me? Undoubtedly philosophers are in the right,
when they tell us that nothing is great or little otherwise than
by comparison. It might have pleased fortune, to have let the
Lilliputians find some nation, where the people were as
diminutive with respect to them, as they were to me. And who
knows but that even this prodigious race of mortals might be
equally overmatched in some distant part of the world, whereof
we have yet no discovery.
Scared and confounded as I was, I could not forbear going on
with these reflections, when one of the reapers, approaching
within ten yards of the ridge where I lay, made me apprehend
that with the next step I should be squashed to death under his
foot, or cut in two with his reaping-hook. And therefore, when
he was again about to move, I screamed as loud as fear could
make me: whereupon the huge creature trod short, and, looking
round about under him for some time, at last espied me as I lay
on the ground. He considered awhile, with the caution of one
who endeavours to lay hold on a small dangerous animal in such a
manner that it shall not be able either to scratch or bite him,
as I myself have sometimes done with a weasel in England. At
length he ventured to take me behind, by the middle, between his
fore-finger and thumb, and brought me within three yards of his
eyes, that he might behold my shape more perfectly. I guessed
his meaning, and my good fortune gave me so much presence of
mind, that I resolved not to struggle in the least as he held me
in the air above sixty feet from the ground, although he
grievously pinched my sides, for fear I should slip through his
fingers. All I ventured was to raise mine eyes towards the sun,
and place my hands together in a supplicating posture, and to
speak some words in a humble melancholy tone, suitable to the
condition I then was in: for I apprehended every moment that he
would dash me against the ground, as we usually do any little
hateful animal, which we have a mind to destroy. But my good
star would have it, that he appeared pleased with my voice and
gestures, and began to look upon me as a curiosity, much
wondering to hear me pronounce articulate words, although he
could not understand them. In the mean time I was not able to
forbear groaning and shedding tears, and turning my head towards
my sides; letting him know, as well as I could, how cruelly I
was hurt by the pressure of his thumb and finger. He seemed to
apprehend my meaning; for, lifting up the lappet of his coat, he
put me gently into it, and immediately ran along with me to his
master, who was a substantial farmer, and the same person I had
first seen in the field.
The farmer having (as I suppose by their talk) received such
an account of me as his servant could give him, took a piece of
a small straw, about the size of a walking-staff, and therewith
lifted up the lappets of my coat; which it seems he thought to
be some kind of covering that nature had given me. He blew my
hairs aside to take a better view of my face. He called his
hinds about him, and asked them, as I afterwards learned,
whether they had ever seen in the fields any little creature
that resembled me. He then placed me softly on the ground upon
all fours, but I got immediately up, and walked slowly backward
and forward, to let those people see I had no intent to run
away. They all sat down in a circle about me, the better to
observe my motions. I pulled off my hat, and made a low bow
towards the farmer. I fell on my knees, and lifted up my hands
and eyes, and spoke several words as loud as I could: I took a
purse of gold out of my pocket, and humbly presented it to him.
He received it on the palm of his hand, then applied it close to
his eye to see what it was, and afterwards turned it several
times with the point of a pin (which he took out of his sleeve,)
but could make nothing of it. Whereupon I made a sign that he
should place his hand on the ground. I then took the purse,
and, opening it, poured all the gold into his palm. There were
six Spanish pieces of four pistoles each, beside twenty or
thirty smaller coins. I saw him wet the tip of his little
finger upon his tongue, and take up one of my largest pieces,
and then another; but he seemed to be wholly ignorant what they
were. He made me a sign to put them again into my purse, and
the purse again into my pocket, which, after offering it to him
several times, I thought it best to do.
The farmer, by this time, was convinced I must be a rational
creature. He spoke often to me; but the sound of his voice
pierced my ears like that of a water-mill, yet his words were
articulate enough. I answered as loud as I could in several
languages, and he often laid his ear within two yards of me: but
all in vain, for we were wholly unintelligible to each other.
He then sent his servants to their work, and taking his
handkerchief out of his pocket, he doubled and spread it on his
left hand, which he placed flat on the ground with the palm
upward, making me a sign to step into it, as I could easily do,
for it was not above a foot in thickness. I thought it my part
to obey, and, for fear of falling, laid myself at full length
upon the handkerchief, with the remainder of which he lapped me
up to the head for further security, and in this manner carried
me home to his house. There he called his wife, and showed me
to her; but she screamed and ran back, as women in England do at
the sight of a toad or a spider. However, when she had a while
seen my behaviour, and how well I observed the signs her husband
made, she was soon reconciled, and by degrees grew extremely
tender of me.
It was about twelve at noon, and a servant brought in
dinner. It was only one substantial dish of meat (fit for the
plain condition of a husbandman,) in a dish of about
four-and-twenty feet diameter. The company were, the farmer and
his wife, three children, and an old grandmother. When they
were sat down, the farmer placed me at some distance from him on
the table, which was thirty feet high from the floor. I was in
a terrible fright, and kept as far as I could from the edge, for
fear of falling. The wife minced a bit of meat, then crumbled
some bread on a trencher, and placed it before me. I made her a
low bow, took out my knife and fork, and fell to eat, which gave
them exceeding delight. The mistress sent her maid for a small
dram cup, which held about two gallons, and filled it with
drink; I took up the vessel with much difficulty in both hands,
and in a most respectful manner drank to her ladyship’s health,
expressing the words as loud as I could in English, which made
the company laugh so heartily, that I was almost deafened with
the noise. This liquor tasted like a small cider, and was not
unpleasant. Then the master made me a sign to come to his
trencher side; but as I walked on the table, being in great
surprise all the time, as the indulgent reader will easily
conceive and excuse, I happened to stumble against a crust, and
fell flat on my face, but received no hurt. I got up
immediately, and observing the good people to be in much
concern, I took my hat (which I held under my arm out of good
manners,) and waving it over my head, made three huzzas, to show
I had got no mischief by my fall. But advancing forward towards
my master (as I shall henceforth call him,) his youngest son,
who sat next to him, an arch boy of about ten years old, took me
up by the legs, and held me so high in the air, that I trembled
every limb: but his father snatched me from him, and at the same
time gave him such a box on the left ear, as would have felled
an European troop of horse to the earth, ordering him to be
taken from the table. But being afraid the boy might owe me a
spite, and well remembering how mischievous all children among
us naturally are to sparrows, rabbits, young kittens, and puppy
dogs, I fell on my knees, and pointing to the boy, made my
master to understand, as well as I could, that I desired his son
might be pardoned. The father complied, and the lad took his
seat again, whereupon I went to him, and kissed his hand, which
my master took, and made him stroke me gently with it.
In the midst of dinner, my mistress’s favourite cat leaped
into her lap. I heard a noise behind me like that of a dozen
stocking-weavers at work; and turning my head, I found it
proceeded from the purring of that animal, who seemed to be
three times larger than an ox, as I computed by the view of her
head, and one of her paws, while her mistress was feeding and
stroking her. The fierceness of this creature’s countenance
altogether discomposed me; though I stood at the farther end of
the table, above fifty feet off; and although my mistress held
her fast, for fear she might give a spring, and seize me in her
talons. But it happened there was no danger, for the cat took
not the least notice of me when my master placed me within three
yards of her. And as I have been always told, and found true by
experience in my travels, that flying or discovering fear before
a fierce animal, is a certain way to make it pursue or attack
you, so I resolved, in this dangerous juncture, to show no
manner of concern. I walked with intrepidity five or six times
before the very head of the cat, and came within half a yard of
her; whereupon she drew herself back, as if she were more afraid
of me: I had less apprehension concerning the dogs, whereof
three or four came into the room, as it is usual in farmers’
houses; one of which was a mastiff, equal in bulk to four
elephants, and another a greyhound, somewhat taller than the
mastiff, but not so large.
When dinner was almost done, the nurse came in with a child
of a year old in her arms, who immediately spied me, and began a
squall that you might have heard from London-Bridge to Chelsea,
after the usual oratory of infants, to get me for a plaything.
The mother, out of pure indulgence, took me up, and put me
towards the child, who presently seized me by the middle, and
got my head into his mouth, where I roared so loud that the
urchin was frighted, and let me drop, and I should infallibly
have broke my neck, if the mother had not held her apron under
me. The nurse, to quiet her babe, made use of a rattle which
was a kind of hollow vessel filled with great stones, and
fastened by a cable to the child’s waist: but all in vain; so
that she was forced to apply the last remedy by giving it suck.
I must confess no object ever disgusted me so much as the sight
of her monstrous breast, which I cannot tell what to compare
with, so as to give the curious reader an idea of its bulk,
shape, and colour. It stood prominent six feet, and could not
be less than sixteen in circumference. The nipple was about
half the bigness of my head, and the hue both of that and the
dug, so varied with spots, pimples, and freckles, that nothing
could appear more nauseous: for I had a near sight of her, she
sitting down, the more conveniently to give suck, and I standing
on the table. This made me reflect upon the fair skins of our
English ladies, who appear so beautiful to us, only because they
are of our own size, and their defects not to be seen but
through a magnifying glass; where we find by experiment that the
smoothest and whitest skins look rough, and coarse, and
ill-coloured.
I remember when I was at Lilliput, the complexion of those
diminutive people appeared to me the fairest in the world; and
talking upon this subject with a person of learning there, who
was an intimate friend of mine, he said that my face appeared
much fairer and smoother when he looked on me from the ground,
than it did upon a nearer view, when I took him up in my hand,
and brought him close, which he confessed was at first a very
shocking sight. He said, “he could discover great holes in my
skin; that the stumps of my beard were ten times stronger than
the bristles of a boar, and my complexion made up of several
colours altogether disagreeable:” although I must beg leave to
say for myself, that I am as fair as most of my sex and country,
and very little sunburnt by all my travels. On the other side,
discoursing of the ladies in that emperor’s court, he used to
tell me, “one had freckles; another too wide a mouth; a third
too large a nose;” nothing of which I was able to distinguish.
I confess this reflection was obvious enough; which, however, I
could not forbear, lest the reader might think those vast
creatures were actually deformed: for I must do them the justice
to say, they are a comely race of people, and particularly the
features of my master’s countenance, although he was but a
farmer, when I beheld him from the height of sixty feet,
appeared very well proportioned.
When dinner was done, my master went out to his labourers,
and, as I could discover by his voice and gesture, gave his wife
strict charge to take care of me. I was very much tired, and
disposed to sleep, which my mistress perceiving, she put me on
her own bed, and covered me with a clean white handkerchief, but
larger and coarser than the mainsail of a man-of-war.
I slept about two hours, and dreamt I was at home with my
wife and children, which aggravated my sorrows when I awaked,
and found myself alone in a vast room, between two and three
hundred feet wide, and above two hundred high, lying in a bed
twenty yards wide. My mistress was gone about her household
affairs, and had locked me in. The bed was eight yards from the
floor. Some natural necessities required me to get down; I
durst not presume to call; and if I had, it would have been in
vain, with such a voice as mine, at so great a distance from the
room where I lay to the kitchen where the family kept. While I
was under these circumstances, two rats crept up the curtains,
and ran smelling backwards and forwards on the bed. One of them
came up almost to my face, whereupon I rose in a fright, and
drew out my hanger to defend myself. These horrible animals had
the boldness to attack me on both sides, and one of them held
his fore-feet at my collar; but I had the good fortune to rip up
his belly before he could do me any mischief. He fell down at
my feet; and the other, seeing the fate of his comrade, made his
escape, but not without one good wound on the back, which I gave
him as he fled, and made the blood run trickling from him.
After this exploit, I walked gently to and fro on the bed, to
recover my breath and loss of spirits. These creatures were of
the size of a large mastiff, but infinitely more nimble and
fierce; so that if I had taken off my belt before I went to
sleep, I must have infallibly been torn to pieces and devoured.
I measured the tail of the dead rat, and found it to be two
yards long, wanting an inch; but it went against my stomach to
drag the carcass off the bed, where it lay still bleeding; I
observed it had yet some life, but with a strong slash across
the neck, I thoroughly despatched it.
Soon after my mistress came into the room, who seeing me all
bloody, ran and took me up in her hand. I pointed to the dead
rat, smiling, and making other signs to show I was not hurt;
whereat she was extremely rejoiced, calling the maid to take up
the dead rat with a pair of tongs, and throw it out of the
window. Then she set me on a table, where I showed her my
hanger all bloody, and wiping it on the lappet of my coat,
returned it to the scabbard. I was pressed to do more than one
thing which another could not do for me, and therefore
endeavoured to make my mistress understand, that I desired to be
set down on the floor; which after she had done, my bashfulness
would not suffer me to express myself farther, than by pointing
to the door, and bowing several times. The good woman, with
much difficulty, at last perceived what I would be at, and
taking me up again in her hand, walked into the garden, where
she set me down. I went on one side about two hundred yards,
and beckoning to her not to look or to follow me, I hid myself
between two leaves of sorrel, and there discharged the
necessities of nature.
I hope the gentle reader will excuse me for dwelling on these
and the like particulars, which, however insignificant they may
appear to groveling vulgar minds, yet will certainly help a
philosopher to enlarge his thoughts and imagination, and apply
them to the benefit of public as well as private life, which was
my sole design in presenting this and other accounts of my
travels to the world; wherein I have been chiefly studious of
truth, without affecting any ornaments of learning or of style.
But the whole scene of this voyage made so strong an impression
on my mind, and is so deeply fixed in my memory, that, in
committing it to paper I did not omit one material circumstance:
however, upon a strict review, I blotted out several passages.
Of less moment which were in my first copy, for fear of being
censured as tedious and trifling, whereof travellers are often,
perhaps not without justice, accused.
CHAPTER II.
A description of the farmer’s daughter. The
author carried to a market-town, and then to the metropolis.
The particulars of his journey.
My mistress had a daughter of nine years old, a child of
towardly parts for her age, very dexterous at her needle, and
skilful in dressing her baby. Her mother and she contrived to
fit up the baby’s cradle for me against night: the cradle was
put into a small drawer of a cabinet, and the drawer placed upon
a hanging shelf for fear of the rats. This was my bed all the
time I staid with those people, though made more convenient by
degrees, as I began to learn their language and make my wants
known. This young girl was so handy, that after I had once or
twice pulled off my clothes before her, she was able to dress
and undress me, though I never gave her that trouble when she
would let me do either myself. She made me seven shirts, and
some other linen, of as fine cloth as could be got, which indeed
was coarser than sackcloth; and these she constantly washed for
me with her own hands. She was likewise my school-mistress, to
teach me the language: when I pointed to any thing, she told me
the name of it in her own tongue, so that in a few days I was
able to call for whatever I had a mind to. She was very
good-natured, and not above forty feet high, being little for
her age. She gave me the name of Grildrig, which the
family took up, and afterwards the whole kingdom. The word
imports what the Latins call nanunculus, the Italians
homunceletino, and the English mannikin. To her I
chiefly owe my preservation in that country: we never parted
while I was there; I called her my Glumdalclitch, or
little nurse; and should be guilty of great ingratitude, if I
omitted this honourable mention of her care and affection
towards me, which I heartily wish it lay in my power to requite
as she deserves, instead of being the innocent, but unhappy
instrument of her disgrace, as I have too much reason to fear.
It now began to be known and talked of in the neighbourhood,
that my master had found a strange animal in the field, about
the bigness of a splacnuck, but exactly shaped in every
part like a human creature; which it likewise imitated in all
its actions; seemed to speak in a little language of its own,
had already learned several words of theirs, went erect upon two
legs, was tame and gentle, would come when it was called, do
whatever it was bid, had the finest limbs in the world, and a
complexion fairer than a nobleman’s daughter of three years
old. Another farmer, who lived hard by, and was a particular
friend of my master, came on a visit on purpose to inquire into
the truth of this story. I was immediately produced, and placed
upon a table, where I walked as I was commanded, drew my hanger,
put it up again, made my reverence to my master’s guest, asked
him in his own language how he did, and told him he was
welcome, just as my little nurse had instructed me. This
man, who was old and dim-sighted, put on his spectacles to
behold me better; at which I could not forbear laughing very
heartily, for his eyes appeared like the full moon shining into
a chamber at two windows. Our people, who discovered the cause
of my mirth, bore me company in laughing, at which the old
fellow was fool enough to be angry and out of countenance. He
had the character of a great miser; and, to my misfortune, he
well deserved it, by the cursed advice he gave my master, to
show me as a sight upon a market-day in the next town, which was
half an hour’s riding, about two-and-twenty miles from our
house. I guessed there was some mischief when I observed my
master and his friend whispering together, sometimes pointing at
me; and my fears made me fancy that I overheard and understood
some of their words. But the next morning Glumdalclitch, my
little nurse, told me the whole matter, which she had cunningly
picked out from her mother. The poor girl laid me on her bosom,
and fell a weeping with shame and grief. She apprehended some
mischief would happen to me from rude vulgar folks, who might
squeeze me to death, or break one of my limbs by taking me in
their hands. She had also observed how modest I was in my
nature, how nicely I regarded my honour, and what an indignity I
should conceive it, to be exposed for money as a public
spectacle, to the meanest of the people. She said, her papa and
mamma had promised that Grildrig should be hers; but now she
found they meant to serve her as they did last year, when they
pretended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it was fat,
sold it to a butcher. For my own part, I may truly affirm, that
I was less concerned than my nurse. I had a strong hope, which
never left me, that I should one day recover my liberty: and as
to the ignominy of being carried about for a monster, I
considered myself to be a perfect stranger in the country, and
that such a misfortune could never be charged upon me as a
reproach, if ever I should return to England, since the king of
Great Britain himself, in my condition, must have undergone the
same distress.
My master, pursuant to the advice of his friend, carried me
in a box the next market-day to the neighbouring town, and took
along with him his little daughter, my nurse, upon a pillion
behind him. The box was close on every side, with a little door
for me to go in and out, and a few gimlet holes to let in air.
The girl had been so careful as to put the quilt of her baby’s
bed into it, for me to lie down on. However, I was terribly
shaken and discomposed in this journey, though it was but of
half an hour: for the horse went about forty feet at every step
and trotted so high, that the agitation was equal to the rising
and falling of a ship in a great storm, but much more frequent.
Our journey was somewhat farther than from London to St.
Alban’s. My master alighted at an inn which he used to
frequent; and after consulting awhile with the inn-keeper, and
making some necessary preparations, he hired the grultrud,
or crier, to give notice through the town of a strange creature
to be seen at the sign of the Green Eagle, not so big as a
splacnuck (an animal in that country very finely shaped,
about six feet long,) and in every part of the body resembling a
human creature, could speak several words, and perform a hundred
diverting tricks.
I was placed upon a table in the largest room of the inn,
which might be near three hundred feet square. My little nurse
stood on a low stool close to the table, to take care of me, and
direct what I should do. My master, to avoid a crowd, would
suffer only thirty people at a time to see me. I walked about
on the table as the girl commanded; she asked me questions, as
far as she knew my understanding of the language reached, and I
answered them as loud as I could. I turned about several times
to the company, paid my humble respects, said they were
welcome, and used some other speeches I had been taught. I
took up a thimble filled with liquor, which Glumdalclitch had
given me for a cup, and drank their health, I drew out my
hanger, and flourished with it after the manner of fencers in
England. My nurse gave me a part of a straw, which I exercised
as a pike, having learnt the art in my youth. I was that day
shown to twelve sets of company, and as often forced to act over
again the same fopperies, till I was half dead with weariness
and vexation; for those who had seen me made such wonderful
reports, that the people were ready to break down the doors to
come in. My master, for his own interest, would not suffer any
one to touch me except my nurse; and to prevent danger, benches
were set round the table at such a distance as to put me out of
every body’s reach. However, an unlucky school-boy aimed a
hazel nut directly at my head, which very narrowly missed me;
otherwise it came with so much violence, that it would have
infallibly knocked out my brains, for it was almost as large as
a small pumpkin, but I had the satisfaction to see the young
rogue well beaten, and turned out of the room.
My master gave public notice that he would show me again the
next market-day; and in the meantime he prepared a convenient
vehicle for me, which he had reason enough to do; for I was so
tired with my first journey, and with entertaining company for
eight hours together, that I could hardly stand upon my legs, or
speak a word. It was at least three days before I recovered my
strength; and that I might have no rest at home, all the
neighbouring gentlemen from a hundred miles round, hearing of my
fame, came to see me at my master’s own house. There could not
be fewer than thirty persons with their wives and children (for
the country is very populous;) and my master demanded the rate
of a full room whenever he showed me at home, although it were
only to a single family; so that for some time I had but little
ease every day of the week (except Wednesday, which is their
Sabbath,) although I were not carried to the town.
My master, finding how profitable I was likely to be,
resolved to carry me to the most considerable cities of the
kingdom. Having therefore provided himself with all things
necessary for a long journey, and settled his affairs at home,
he took leave of his wife, and upon the 17th of August, 1703,
about two months after my arrival, we set out for the
metropolis, situate near the middle of that empire, and about
three thousand miles distance from our house. My master made
his daughter Glumdalclitch ride behind him. She carried me on
her lap, in a box tied about her waist. The girl had lined it
on all sides with the softest cloth she could get, well quilted
underneath, furnished it with her baby’s bed, provided me with
linen and other necessaries, and made everything as convenient
as she could. We had no other company but a boy of the house,
who rode after us with the luggage.
My master’s design was to show me in all the towns by the
way, and to step out of the road for fifty or a hundred miles,
to any village, or person of quality’s house, where he might
expect custom. We made easy journeys, of not above seven or
eight score miles a-day; for Glumdalclitch, on purpose to spare
me, complained she was tired with the trotting of the horse.
She often took me out of my box, at my own desire, to give me
air, and show me the country, but always held me fast by a
leading-string. We passed over five or six rivers, many degrees
broader and deeper than the Nile or the Ganges: and there was
hardly a rivulet so small as the Thames at London-bridge. We
were ten weeks in our journey, and I was shown in eighteen large
towns, besides many villages, and private families.
On the 26th day of October we arrived at the metropolis,
called in their language Lorbrulgrud, or Pride of the
Universe. My master took a lodging in the principal street of
the city, not far from the royal palace, and put out bills in
the usual form, containing an exact description of my person and
parts. He hired a large room between three and four hundred
feet wide. He provided a table sixty feet in diameter, upon
which I was to act my part, and pallisadoed it round three feet
from the edge, and as many high, to prevent my falling over. I
was shown ten times a-day, to the wonder and satisfaction of all
people. I could now speak the language tolerably well, and
perfectly understood every word, that was spoken to me.
Besides, I had learnt their alphabet, and could make a shift to
explain a sentence here and there; for Glumdalclitch had been my
instructor while we were at home, and at leisure hours during
our journey. She carried a little book in her pocket, not much
larger than a Sanson’s Atlas; it was a common treatise for the
use of young girls, giving a short account of their religion:
out of this she taught me my letters, and interpreted the words.
CHAPTER III.
The author sent for to court. The queen buys
him of his master the farmer, and presents him to the king. He
disputes with his majesty’s great scholars. An apartment at
court provided for the author. He is in high favour with the
queen. He stands up for the honour of his own country. His
quarrels with the queen’s dwarf.
The frequent labours I underwent every day, made, in a few
weeks, a very considerable change in my health: the more my
master got by me, the more insatiable he grew. I had quite lost
my stomach, and was almost reduced to a skeleton. The farmer
observed it, and concluding I must soon die, resolved to make as
good a hand of me as he could. While he was thus reasoning and
resolving with himself, a sardral, or gentleman-usher,
came from court, commanding my master to carry me immediately
thither for the diversion of the queen and her ladies. Some of
the latter had already been to see me, and reported strange
things of my beauty, behaviour, and good sense. Her majesty,
and those who attended her, were beyond measure delighted with
my demeanour. I fell on my knees, and begged the honour of
kissing her imperial foot; but this gracious princess held out
her little finger towards me, after I was set on the table,
which I embraced in both my arms, and put the tip of it with the
utmost respect to my lip. She made me some general questions
about my country and my travels, which I answered as distinctly,
and in as few words as I could. She asked, “whether I could be
content to live at court?” I bowed down to the board of the
table, and humbly answered “that I was my master’s slave: but,
if I were at my own disposal, I should be proud to devote my
life to her majesty’s service.” She then asked my master,
“whether he was willing to sell me at a good price?” He, who
apprehended I could not live a month, was ready enough to part
with me, and demanded a thousand pieces of gold, which were
ordered him on the spot, each piece being about the bigness of
eight hundred moidores; but allowing for the proportion of all
things between that country and Europe, and the high price of
gold among them, was hardly so great a sum as a thousand guineas
would be in England. I then said to the queen, “since I was now
her majesty’s most humble creature and vassal, I must beg the
favour, that Glumdalclitch, who had always tended me with so
much care and kindness, and understood to do it so well, might
be admitted into her service, and continue to be my nurse and
instructor.”
Her majesty agreed to my petition, and easily got the
farmer’s consent, who was glad enough to have his daughter
preferred at court, and the poor girl herself was not able to
hide her joy. My late master withdrew, bidding me farewell, and
saying he had left me in a good service; to which I replied not
a word, only making him a slight bow.
The queen observed my coldness; and, when the farmer was gone
out of the apartment, asked me the reason. I made bold to tell
her majesty, “that I owed no other obligation to my late master,
than his not dashing out the brains of a poor harmless creature,
found by chance in his fields: which obligation was amply
recompensed, by the gain he had made in showing me through half
the kingdom, and the price he had now sold me for. That the
life I had since led was laborious enough to kill an animal of
ten times my strength. That my health was much impaired, by the
continual drudgery of entertaining the rabble every hour of the
day; and that, if my master had not thought my life in danger,
her majesty would not have got so cheap a bargain. But as I was
out of all fear of being ill-treated under the protection of so
great and good an empress, the ornament of nature, the darling
of the world, the delight of her subjects, the phoenix of the
creation, so I hoped my late master’s apprehensions would appear
to be groundless; for I already found my spirits revive, by the
influence of her most august presence.”
This was the sum of my speech, delivered with great
improprieties and hesitation. The latter part was altogether
framed in the style peculiar to that people, whereof I learned
some phrases from Glumdalclitch, while she was carrying me to
court.
The queen, giving great allowance for my defectiveness in
speaking, was, however, surprised at so much wit and good sense
in so diminutive an animal. She took me in her own hand, and
carried me to the king, who was then retired to his cabinet.
His majesty, a prince of much gravity and austere countenance,
not well observing my shape at first view, asked the queen after
a cold manner “how long it was since she grew fond of a
splacnuck?” for such it seems he took me to be, as I lay
upon my breast in her majesty’s right hand. But this princess,
who has an infinite deal of wit and humour, set me gently on my
feet upon the scrutoire, and commanded me to give his majesty an
account of myself, which I did in a very few words: and
Glumdalclitch who attended at the cabinet door, and could not
endure I should be out of her sight, being admitted, confirmed
all that had passed from my arrival at her father’s house.
The king, although he be as learned a person as any in his
dominions, had been educated in the study of philosophy, and
particularly mathematics; yet when he observed my shape exactly,
and saw me walk erect, before I began to speak, conceived I
might be a piece of clock-work (which is in that country arrived
to a very great perfection) contrived by some ingenious artist.
But when he heard my voice, and found what I delivered to be
regular and rational, he could not conceal his astonishment. He
was by no means satisfied with the relation I gave him of the
manner I came into his kingdom, but thought it a story concerted
between Glumdalclitch and her father, who had taught me a set of
words to make me sell at a better price. Upon this imagination,
he put several other questions to me, and still received
rational answers: no otherwise defective than by a foreign
accent, and an imperfect knowledge in the language, with some
rustic phrases which I had learned at the farmer’s house, and
did not suit the polite style of a court.
His majesty sent for three great scholars, who were then in
their weekly waiting, according to the custom in that country.
These gentlemen, after they had a while examined my shape with
much nicety, were of different opinions concerning me. They all
agreed that I could not be produced according to the regular
laws of nature, because I was not framed with a capacity of
preserving my life, either by swiftness, or climbing of trees,
or digging holes in the earth. They observed by my teeth, which
they viewed with great exactness, that I was a carnivorous
animal; yet most quadrupeds being an overmatch for me, and field
mice, with some others, too nimble, they could not imagine how I
should be able to support myself, unless I fed upon snails and
other insects, which they offered, by many learned arguments, to
evince that I could not possibly do. One of these virtuosi
seemed to think that I might be an embryo, or abortive birth.
But this opinion was rejected by the other two, who observed my
limbs to be perfect and finished; and that I had lived several
years, as it was manifest from my beard, the stumps whereof they
plainly discovered through a magnifying glass. They would not
allow me to be a dwarf, because my littleness was beyond all
degrees of comparison; for the queen’s favourite dwarf, the
smallest ever known in that kingdom, was near thirty feet high.
After much debate, they concluded unanimously, that I was only
relplum scalcath, which is interpreted literally lusus
naturę; a determination exactly agreeable to the modern
philosophy of Europe, whose professors, disdaining the old
evasion of occult causes, whereby the followers of Aristotle
endeavoured in vain to disguise their ignorance, have invented
this wonderful solution of all difficulties, to the unspeakable
advancement of human knowledge.
After this decisive conclusion, I entreated to be heard a
word or two. I applied myself to the king, and assured his
majesty, “that I came from a country which abounded with several
millions of both sexes, and of my own stature; where the
animals, trees, and houses, were all in proportion, and where,
by consequence, I might be as able to defend myself, and to find
sustenance, as any of his majesty’s subjects could do here;
which I took for a full answer to those gentlemen’s arguments.”
To this they only replied with a smile of contempt, saying,
“that the farmer had instructed me very well in my lesson.” The
king, who had a much better understanding, dismissing his
learned men, sent for the farmer, who by good fortune was not
yet gone out of town. Having therefore first examined him
privately, and then confronted him with me and the young girl,
his majesty began to think that what we told him might possibly
be true. He desired the queen to order that a particular care
should be taken of me; and was of opinion that Glumdalclitch
should still continue in her office of tending me, because he
observed we had a great affection for each other. A convenient
apartment was provided for her at court: she had a sort of
governess appointed to take care of her education, a maid to
dress her, and two other servants for menial offices; but the
care of me was wholly appropriated to herself. The queen
commanded her own cabinet-maker to contrive a box, that might
serve me for a bedchamber, after the model that Glumdalclitch
and I should agree upon. This man was a most ingenious artist,
and according to my direction, in three weeks finished for me a
wooden chamber of sixteen feet square, and twelve high, with
sash-windows, a door, and two closets, like a London
bed-chamber. The board, that made the ceiling, was to be lifted
up and down by two hinges, to put in a bed ready furnished by
her majesty’s upholsterer, which Glumdalclitch took out every
day to air, made it with her own hands, and letting it down at
night, locked up the roof over me. A nice workman, who was
famous for little curiosities, undertook to make me two chairs,
with backs and frames, of a substance not unlike ivory, and two
tables, with a cabinet to put my things in. The room was
quilted on all sides, as well as the floor and the ceiling, to
prevent any accident from the carelessness of those who carried
me, and to break the force of a jolt, when I went in a coach. I
desired a lock for my door, to prevent rats and mice from coming
in. The smith, after several attempts, made the smallest that
ever was seen among them, for I have known a larger at the gate
of a gentleman’s house in England. I made a shift to keep the
key in a pocket of my own, fearing Glumdalclitch might lose it.
The queen likewise ordered the thinnest silks that could be
gotten, to make me clothes, not much thicker than an English
blanket, very cumbersome till I was accustomed to them. They
were after the fashion of the kingdom, partly resembling the
Persian, and partly the Chinese, and are a very grave and decent
habit.
The queen became so fond of my company, that she could not
dine without me. I had a table placed upon the same at which
her majesty ate, just at her left elbow, and a chair to sit on.
Glumdalclitch stood on a stool on the floor near my table, to
assist and take care of me. I had an entire set of silver
dishes and plates, and other necessaries, which, in proportion
to those of the queen, were not much bigger than what I have
seen in a London toy-shop for the furniture of a baby-house:
these my little nurse kept in her pocket in a silver box, and
gave me at meals as I wanted them, always cleaning them
herself. No person dined with the queen but the two princesses
royal, the eldest sixteen years old, and the younger at that
time thirteen and a month. Her majesty used to put a bit of
meat upon one of my dishes, out of which I carved for myself,
and her diversion was to see me eat in miniature: for the queen
(who had indeed but a weak stomach) took up, at one mouthful, as
much as a dozen English farmers could eat at a meal, which to me
was for some time a very nauseous sight. She would craunch the
wing of a lark, bones and all, between her teeth, although it
were nine times as large as that of a full-grown turkey; and put
a bit of bread into her mouth as big as two twelve-penny
loaves. She drank out of a golden cup, above a hogshead at a
draught. Her knives were twice as long as a scythe, set
straight upon the handle. The spoons, forks, and other
instruments, were all in the same proportion. I remember when
Glumdalclitch carried me, out of curiosity, to see some of the
tables at court, where ten or a dozen of those enormous knives
and forks were lifted up together, I thought I had never till
then beheld so terrible a sight.
It is the custom, that every Wednesday (which, as I have
observed, is their Sabbath) the king and queen, with the royal
issue of both sexes, dine together in the apartment of his
majesty, to whom I was now become a great favourite; and at
these times, my little chair and table were placed at his left
hand, before one of the salt-cellars. This prince took a
pleasure in conversing with me, inquiring into the manners,
religion, laws, government, and learning of Europe; wherein I
gave him the best account I was able. His apprehension was so
clear, and his judgment so exact, that he made very wise
reflections and observations upon all I said. But I confess,
that, after I had been a little too copious in talking of my own
beloved country, of our trade and wars by sea and land, of our
schisms in religion, and parties in the state; the prejudices of
his education prevailed so far, that he could not forbear taking
me up in his right hand, and stroking me gently with the other,
after a hearty fit of laughing, asked me, “whether I was a whig
or tory?” Then turning to his first minister, who waited behind
him with a white staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the
Royal Sovereign, he observed “how contemptible a thing was human
grandeur, which could be mimicked by such diminutive insects as
I: and yet,” says he, “I dare engage these creatures have their
titles and distinctions of honour; they contrive little nests
and burrows, that they call houses and cities; they make a
figure in dress and equipage; they love, they fight, they
dispute, they cheat, they betray!” And thus he continued on,
while my colour came and went several times, with indignation,
to hear our noble country, the mistress of arts and arms, the
scourge of France, the arbitress of Europe, the seat of virtue,
piety, honour, and truth, the pride and envy of the world, so
contemptuously treated.
But as I was not in a condition to resent injuries, so upon
mature thoughts I began to doubt whether I was injured or no.
For, after having been accustomed several months to the sight
and converse of this people, and observed every object upon
which I cast mine eyes to be of proportionable magnitude, the
horror I had at first conceived from their bulk and aspect was
so far worn off, that if I had then beheld a company of English
lords and ladies in their finery and birth-day clothes, acting
their several parts in the most courtly manner of strutting, and
bowing, and prating, to say the truth, I should have been
strongly tempted to laugh as much at them as the king and his
grandees did at me. Neither, indeed, could I forbear smiling at
myself, when the queen used to place me upon her hand towards a
looking-glass, by which both our persons appeared before me in
full view together; and there could be nothing more ridiculous
than the comparison; so that I really began to imagine myself
dwindled many degrees below my usual size.
Nothing angered and mortified me so much as the queen’s
dwarf; who being of the lowest stature that was ever in that
country (for I verily think he was not full thirty feet high),
became so insolent at seeing a creature so much beneath him,
that he would always affect to swagger and look big as he passed
by me in the queen’s antechamber, while I was standing on some
table talking with the lords or ladies of the court, and he
seldom failed of a smart word or two upon my littleness; against
which I could only revenge myself by calling him brother,
challenging him to wrestle, and such repartees as are usually in
the mouths of court pages. One day, at dinner, this malicious
little cub was so nettled with something I had said to him,
that, raising himself upon the frame of her majesty’s chair, he
took me up by the middle, as I was sitting down, not thinking
any harm, and let me drop into a large silver bowl of cream, and
then ran away as fast as he could. I fell over head and ears,
and, if I had not been a good swimmer, it might have gone very
hard with me; for Glumdalclitch in that instant happened to be
at the other end of the room, and the queen was in such a
fright, that she wanted presence of mind to assist me. But my
little nurse ran to my relief, and took me out, after I had
swallowed above a quart of cream. I was put to bed: however, I
received no other damage than the loss of a suit of clothes,
which was utterly spoiled. The dwarf was soundly whipt, and as
a farther punishment, forced to drink up the bowl of cream into
which he had thrown me: neither was he ever restored to favour;
for soon after the queen bestowed him on a lady of high quality,
so that I saw him no more, to my very great satisfaction; for I
could not tell to what extremities such a malicious urchin might
have carried his resentment.
He had before served me a scurvy trick, which set the queen
a-laughing, although at the same time she was heartily vexed,
and would have immediately cashiered him, if I had not been so
generous as to intercede. Her majesty had taken a marrow-bone
upon her plate, and, after knocking out the marrow, placed the
bone again in the dish erect, as it stood before; the dwarf,
watching his opportunity, while Glumdalclitch was gone to the
side-board, mounted the stool that she stood on to take care of
me at meals, took me up in both hands, and squeezing my legs
together, wedged them into the marrow bone above my waist, where
I stuck for some time, and made a very ridiculous figure. I
believe it was near a minute before any one knew what was become
of me; for I thought it below me to cry out. But, as princes
seldom get their meat hot, my legs were not scalded, only my
stockings and breeches in a sad condition. The dwarf, at my
entreaty, had no other punishment than a sound whipping.
I was frequently rallied by the queen upon account of my
fearfulness; and she used to ask me whether the people of my
country were as great cowards as myself? The occasion was this:
the kingdom is much pestered with flies in summer; and these
odious insects, each of them as big as a Dunstable lark, hardly
gave me any rest while I sat at dinner, with their continual
humming and buzzing about mine ears. They would sometimes
alight upon my victuals, and leave their loathsome excrement, or
spawn behind, which to me was very visible, though not to the
natives of that country, whose large optics were not so acute as
mine, in viewing smaller objects. Sometimes they would fix upon
my nose, or forehead, where they stung me to the quick, smelling
very offensively; and I could easily trace that viscous matter,
which, our naturalists tell us, enables those creatures to walk
with their feet upwards upon a ceiling. I had much ado to
defend myself against these detestable animals, and could not
forbear starting when they came on my face. It was the common
practice of the dwarf, to catch a number of these insects in his
hand, as schoolboys do among us, and let them out suddenly under
my nose, on purpose to frighten me, and divert the queen. My
remedy was to cut them in pieces with my knife, as they flew in
the air, wherein my dexterity was much admired.
I remember, one morning, when Glumdalclitch had set me in a
box upon a window, as she usually did in fair days to give me
air (for I durst not venture to let the box be hung on a nail
out of the window, as we do with cages in England), after I had
lifted up one of my sashes, and sat down at my table to eat a
piece of sweet cake for my breakfast, above twenty wasps,
allured by the smell, came flying into the room, humming louder
than the drones of as many bagpipes. Some of them seized my
cake, and carried it piecemeal away; others flew about my head
and face, confounding me with the noise, and putting me in the
utmost terror of their stings. However, I had the courage to
rise and draw my hanger, and attack them in the air. I
dispatched four of them, but the rest got away, and I presently
shut my window. These insects were as large as partridges: I
took out their stings, found them an inch and a half long, and
as sharp as needles. I carefully preserved them all; and having
since shown them, with some other curiosities, in several parts
of Europe, upon my return to England I gave three of them to
Gresham College, and kept the fourth for myself.
CHAPTER IV.
The country described. A proposal for
correcting modern maps. The king’s palace; and some account of
the metropolis. The author’s way of travelling. The chief
temple described.
I now intend to give the reader a short description of this
country, as far as I travelled in it, which was not above two
thousand miles round Lorbrulgrud, the metropolis. For the
queen, whom I always attended, never went farther when she
accompanied the king in his progresses, and there staid till his
majesty returned from viewing his frontiers. The whole extent
of this prince’s dominions reaches about six thousand miles in
length, and from three to five in breadth: whence I cannot but
conclude, that our geographers of Europe are in a great error,
by supposing nothing but sea between Japan and California; for
it was ever my opinion, that there must be a balance of earth to
counterpoise the great continent of Tartary; and therefore they
ought to correct their maps and charts, by joining this vast
tract of land to the north-west parts of America, wherein I
shall be ready to lend them my assistance.
The kingdom is a peninsula, terminated to the north-east by a
ridge of mountains thirty miles high, which are altogether
impassable, by reason of the volcanoes upon the tops: neither do
the most learned know what sort of mortals inhabit beyond those
mountains, or whether they be inhabited at all. On the three
other sides, it is bounded by the ocean. There is not one
seaport in the whole kingdom: and those parts of the coasts into
which the rivers issue, are so full of pointed rocks, and the
sea generally so rough, that there is no venturing with the
smallest of their boats; so that these people are wholly
excluded from any commerce with the rest of the world. But the
large rivers are full of vessels, and abound with excellent
fish; for they seldom get any from the sea, because the sea fish
are of the same size with those in Europe, and consequently not
worth catching; whereby it is manifest, that nature, in the
production of plants and animals of so extraordinary a bulk, is
wholly confined to this continent, of which I leave the reasons
to be determined by philosophers. However, now and then they
take a whale that happens to be dashed against the rocks, which
the common people feed on heartily. These whales I have known
so large, that a man could hardly carry one upon his shoulders;
and sometimes, for curiosity, they are brought in hampers to
Lorbrulgrud; I saw one of them in a dish at the king’s table,
which passed for a rarity, but I did not observe he was fond of
it; for I think, indeed, the bigness disgusted him, although I
have seen one somewhat larger in Greenland.
The country is well inhabited, for it contains fifty-one
cities, near a hundred walled towns, and a great number of
villages. To satisfy my curious reader, it may be sufficient to
describe Lorbrulgrud. This city stands upon almost two equal
parts, on each side the river that passes through. It contains
above eighty thousand houses, and about six hundred thousand
inhabitants. It is in length three glomglungs (which
make about fifty-four English miles,) and two and a half in
breadth; as I measured it myself in the royal map made by the
king’s order, which was laid on the ground on purpose for me,
and extended a hundred feet: I paced the diameter and
circumference several times barefoot, and, computing by the
scale, measured it pretty exactly.
The king’s palace is no regular edifice, but a heap of
buildings, about seven miles round: the chief rooms are
generally two hundred and forty feet high, and broad and long in
proportion. A coach was allowed to Glumdalclitch and me,
wherein her governess frequently took her out to see the town,
or go among the shops; and I was always of the party, carried in
my box; although the girl, at my own desire, would often take me
out, and hold me in her hand, that I might more conveniently
view the houses and the people, as we passed along the streets.
I reckoned our coach to be about a square of Westminster-hall,
but not altogether so high: however, I cannot be very exact.
One day the governess ordered our coachman to stop at several
shops, where the beggars, watching their opportunity, crowded to
the sides of the coach, and gave me the most horrible spectacle
that ever a European eye beheld. There was a woman with a
cancer in her breast, swelled to a monstrous size, full of
holes, in two or three of which I could have easily crept, and
covered my whole body. There was a fellow with a wen in his
neck, larger than five wool-packs; and another, with a couple of
wooden legs, each about twenty feet high. But the most hateful
sight of all, was the lice crawling on their clothes. I could
see distinctly the limbs of these vermin with my naked eye, much
better than those of a European louse through a microscope, and
their snouts with which they rooted like swine. They were the
first I had ever beheld, and I should have been curious enough
to dissect one of them, if I had had proper instruments, which I
unluckily left behind me in the ship, although, indeed, the
sight was so nauseous, that it perfectly turned my stomach.
Besides the large box in which I was usually carried, the
queen ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of about twelve
feet square, and ten high, for the convenience of travelling;
because the other was somewhat too large for Glumdalclitch’s
lap, and cumbersome in the coach; it was made by the same
artist, whom I directed in the whole contrivance. This
travelling-closet was an exact square, with a window in the
middle of three of the squares, and each window was latticed
with iron wire on the outside, to prevent accidents in long
journeys. On the fourth side, which had no window, two strong
staples were fixed, through which the person that carried me,
when I had a mind to be on horseback, put a leathern belt, and
buckled it about his waist. This was always the office of some
grave trusty servant, in whom I could confide, whether I
attended the king and queen in their progresses, or were
disposed to see the gardens, or pay a visit to some great lady
or minister of state in the court, when Glumdalclitch happened
to be out of order; for I soon began to be known and esteemed
among the greatest officers, I suppose more upon account of
their majesties’ favour, than any merit of my own. In journeys,
when I was weary of the coach, a servant on horseback would
buckle on my box, and place it upon a cushion before him; and
there I had a full prospect of the country on three sides, from
my three windows. I had, in this closet, a field-bed and a
hammock, hung from the ceiling, two chairs and a table, neatly
screwed to the floor, to prevent being tossed about by the
agitation of the horse or the coach. And having been long used
to sea-voyages, those motions, although sometimes very violent,
did not much discompose me.
Whenever I had a mind to see the town, it was always in my
travelling-closet; which Glumdalclitch held in her lap in a kind
of open sedan, after the fashion of the country, borne by four
men, and attended by two others in the queen’s livery. The
people, who had often heard of me, were very curious to crowd
about the sedan, and the girl was complaisant enough to make the
bearers stop, and to take me in her hand, that I might be more
conveniently seen.
I was very desirous to see the chief temple, and particularly
the tower belonging to it, which is reckoned the highest in the
kingdom. Accordingly one day my nurse carried me thither, but I
may truly say I came back disappointed; for the height is not
above three thousand feet, reckoning from the ground to the
highest pinnacle top; which, allowing for the difference between
the size of those people and us in Europe, is no great matter
for admiration, nor at all equal in proportion (if I rightly
remember) to Salisbury steeple. But, not to detract from a
nation, to which, during my life, I shall acknowledge myself
extremely obliged, it must be allowed, that whatever this famous
tower wants in height, is amply made up in beauty and strength:
for the walls are near a hundred feet thick, built of hewn
stone, whereof each is about forty feet square, and adorned on
all sides with statues of gods and emperors, cut in marble,
larger than the life, placed in their several niches. I
measured a little finger which had fallen down from one of these
statues, and lay unperceived among some rubbish, and found it
exactly four feet and an inch in length. Glumdalclitch wrapped
it up in her handkerchief, and carried it home in her pocket, to
keep among other trinkets, of which the girl was very fond, as
children at her age usually are.
The king’s kitchen is indeed a noble building, vaulted at
top, and about six hundred feet high. The great oven is not so
wide, by ten paces, as the cupola at St. Paul’s: for I measured
the latter on purpose, after my return. But if I should
describe the kitchen grate, the prodigious pots and kettles, the
joints of meat turning on the spits, with many other
particulars, perhaps I should be hardly believed; at least a
severe critic would be apt to think I enlarged a little, as
travellers are often suspected to do. To avoid which censure I
fear I have run too much into the other extreme; and that if
this treatise should happen to be translated into the language
of Brobdingnag (which is the general name of that kingdom,) and
transmitted thither, the king and his people would have reason
to complain that I had done them an injury, by a false and
diminutive representation.
His majesty seldom keeps above six hundred horses in his
stables: they are generally from fifty-four to sixty feet high.
But, when he goes abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for
state, by a military guard of five hundred horse, which, indeed,
I thought was the most splendid sight that could be ever beheld,
till I saw part of his army in battalia, whereof I shall find
another occasion to speak.
CHAPTER V.
Several adventurers that happened to the
author. The execution of a criminal. The author shows his
skill in navigation.
I should have lived happy enough in that country, if my
littleness had not exposed me to several ridiculous and
troublesome accidents; some of which I shall venture to relate.
Glumdalclitch often carried me into the gardens of the court in
my smaller box, and would sometimes take me out of it, and hold
me in her hand, or set me down to walk. I remember, before the
dwarf left the queen, he followed us one day into those gardens,
and my nurse having set me down, he and I being close together,
near some dwarf apple trees, I must needs show my wit, by a
silly allusion between him and the trees, which happens to hold
in their language as it does in ours. Whereupon, the malicious
rogue, watching his opportunity, when I was walking under one of
them, shook it directly over my head, by which a dozen apples,
each of them near as large as a Bristol barrel, came tumbling
about my ears; one of them hit me on the back as I chanced to
stoop, and knocked me down flat on my face; but I received no
other hurt, and the dwarf was pardoned at my desire, because I
had given the provocation.
Another day, Glumdalclitch left me on a smooth grass-plot to
divert myself, while she walked at some distance with her
governess. In the meantime, there suddenly fell such a violent
shower of hail, that I was immediately by the force of it,
struck to the ground: and when I was down, the hailstones gave
me such cruel bangs all over the body, as if I had been pelted
with tennis-balls; however, I made a shift to creep on all
fours, and shelter myself, by lying flat on my face, on the
lee-side of a border of lemon-thyme, but so bruised from head to
foot, that I could not go abroad in ten days. Neither is this
at all to be wondered at, because nature, in that country,
observing the same proportion through all her operations, a
hailstone is near eighteen hundred times as large as one in
Europe; which I can assert upon experience, having been so
curious as to weigh and measure them.
But a more dangerous accident happened to me in the same
garden, when my little nurse, believing she had put me in a
secure place (which I often entreated her to do, that I might
enjoy my own thoughts,) and having left my box at home, to avoid
the trouble of carrying it, went to another part of the garden
with her governess and some ladies of her acquaintance. While
she was absent, and out of hearing, a small white spaniel that
belonged to one of the chief gardeners, having got by accident
into the garden, happened to range near the place where I lay:
the dog, following the scent, came directly up, and taking me in
his mouth, ran straight to his master wagging his tail, and set
me gently on the ground. By good fortune he had been so well
taught, that I was carried between his teeth without the least
hurt, or even tearing my clothes. But the poor gardener, who
knew me well, and had a great kindness for me, was in a terrible
fright: he gently took me up in both his hands, and asked me how
I did? but I was so amazed and out of breath, that I could not
speak a word. In a few minutes I came to myself, and he carried
me safe to my little nurse, who, by this time, had returned to
the place where she left me, and was in cruel agonies when I did
not appear, nor answer when she called. She severely
reprimanded the gardener on account of his dog. But the thing
was hushed up, and never known at court, for the girl was afraid
of the queen’s anger; and truly, as to myself, I thought it
would not be for my reputation, that such a story should go
about.
This accident absolutely determined Glumdalclitch never to
trust me abroad for the future out of her sight. I had been
long afraid of this resolution, and therefore concealed from her
some little unlucky adventures, that happened in those times
when I was left by myself. Once a kite, hovering over the
garden, made a stoop at me, and if I had not resolutely drawn my
hanger, and run under a thick espalier, he would have certainly
carried me away in his talons. Another time, walking to the top
of a fresh mole-hill, I fell to my neck in the hole, through
which that animal had cast up the earth, and coined some lie,
not worth remembering, to excuse myself for spoiling my
clothes. I likewise broke my right shin against the shell of a
snail, which I happened to stumble over, as I was walking alone
and thinking on poor England.
I cannot tell whether I were more pleased or mortified to
observe, in those solitary walks, that the smaller birds did not
appear to be at all afraid of me, but would hop about within a
yard’s distance, looking for worms and other food, with as much
indifference and security as if no creature at all were near
them. I remember, a thrush had the confidence to snatch out of
my hand, with his bill, a of cake that Glumdalclitch had just
given me for my breakfast. When I attempted to catch any of
these birds, they would boldly turn against me, endeavouring to
peck my fingers, which I durst not venture within their reach;
and then they would hop back unconcerned, to hunt for worms or
snails, as they did before. But one day, I took a thick cudgel,
and threw it with all my strength so luckily, at a linnet, that
I knocked him down, and seizing him by the neck with both my
hands, ran with him in triumph to my nurse. However, the bird,
who had only been stunned, recovering himself gave me so many
boxes with his wings, on both sides of my head and body, though
I held him at arm’s-length, and was out of the reach of his
claws, that I was twenty times thinking to let him go. But I
was soon relieved by one of our servants, who wrung off the
bird’s neck, and I had him next day for dinner, by the queen’s
command. This linnet, as near as I can remember, seemed to be
somewhat larger than an English swan.
The maids of honour often invited Glumdalclitch to their
apartments, and desired she would bring me along with her, on
purpose to have the pleasure of seeing and touching me. They
would often strip me naked from top to toe, and lay me at full
length in their bosoms; wherewith I was much disgusted because,
to say the truth, a very offensive smell came from their skins;
which I do not mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of those
excellent ladies, for whom I have all manner of respect; but I
conceive that my sense was more acute in proportion to my
littleness, and that those illustrious persons were no more
disagreeable to their lovers, or to each other, than people of
the same quality are with us in England. And, after all, I
found their natural smell was much more supportable, than when
they used perfumes, under which I immediately swooned away. I
cannot forget, that an intimate friend of mine in Lilliput, took
the freedom in a warm day, when I had used a good deal of
exercise, to complain of a strong smell about me, although I am
as little faulty that way, as most of my sex: but I suppose his
faculty of smelling was as nice with regard to me, as mine was
to that of this people. Upon this point, I cannot forbear doing
justice to the queen my mistress, and Glumdalclitch my nurse,
whose persons were as sweet as those of any lady in England.
That which gave me most uneasiness among these maids of
honour (when my nurse carried me to visit then) was, to see them
use me without any manner of ceremony, like a creature who had
no sort of consequence: for they would strip themselves to the
skin, and put on their smocks in my presence, while I was placed
on their toilet, directly before their naked bodies, which I am
sure to me was very far from being a tempting sight, or from
giving me any other emotions than those of horror and disgust:
their skins appeared so coarse and uneven, so variously
coloured, when I saw them near, with a mole here and there as
broad as a trencher, and hairs hanging from it thicker than
packthreads, to say nothing farther concerning the rest of their
persons. Neither did they at all scruple, while I was by, to
discharge what they had drank, to the quantity of at least two
hogsheads, in a vessel that held above three tuns. The
handsomest among these maids of honour, a pleasant, frolicsome
girl of sixteen, would sometimes set me astride upon one of her
nipples, with many other tricks, wherein the reader will excuse
me for not being over particular. But I was so much displeased,
that I entreated Glumdalclitch to contrive some excuse for not
seeing that young lady any more.
One day, a young gentleman, who was nephew to my nurse’s
governess, came and pressed them both to see an execution. It
was of a man, who had murdered one of that gentleman’s intimate
acquaintance. Glumdalclitch was prevailed on to be of the
company, very much against her inclination, for she was
naturally tender-hearted: and, as for myself, although I
abhorred such kind of spectacles, yet my curiosity tempted me to
see something that I thought must be extraordinary. The
malefactor was fixed in a chair upon a scaffold erected for that
purpose, and his head cut off at one blow, with a sword of about
forty feet long. The veins and arteries spouted up such a
prodigious quantity of blood, and so high in the air, that the
great jet d’eau at Versailles was not equal to it for the
time it lasted: and the head, when it fell on the scaffold
floor, gave such a bounce as made me start, although I was at
least half an English mile distant.
The queen, who often used to hear me talk of my sea-voyages,
and took all occasions to divert me when I was melancholy, asked
me whether I understood how to handle a sail or an oar, and
whether a little exercise of rowing might not be convenient for
my health? I answered, that I understood both very well: for
although my proper employment had been to be surgeon or doctor
to the ship, yet often, upon a pinch, I was forced to work like
a common mariner. But I could not see how this could be done in
their country, where the smallest wherry was equal to a
first-rate man of war among us; and such a boat as I could
manage would never live in any of their rivers. Her majesty
said, if I would contrive a boat, her own joiner should make it,
and she would provide a place for me to sail in. The fellow was
an ingenious workman, and by my instructions, in ten days,
finished a pleasure-boat with all its tackling, able
conveniently to hold eight Europeans. When it was finished, the
queen was so delighted, that she ran with it in her lap to the
king, who ordered it to be put into a cistern full of water,
with me in it, by way of trial, where I could not manage my two
sculls, or little oars, for want of room. But the queen had
before contrived another project. She ordered the joiner to
make a wooden trough of three hundred feet long, fifty broad,
and eight deep; which, being well pitched, to prevent leaking,
was placed on the floor, along the wall, in an outer room of the
palace. It had a cock near the bottom to let out the water,
when it began to grow stale; and two servants could easily fill
it in half an hour. Here I often used to row for my own
diversion, as well as that of the queen and her ladies, who
thought themselves well entertained with my skill and agility.
Sometimes I would put up my sail, and then my business was only
to steer, while the ladies gave me a gale with their fans; and,
when they were weary, some of their pages would blow my sail
forward with their breath, while I showed my art by steering
starboard or larboard as I pleased. When I had done,
Glumdalclitch always carried back my boat into her closet, and
hung it on a nail to dry.
In this exercise I once met an accident, which had like to
have cost me my life; for, one of the pages having put my boat
into the trough, the governess who attended Glumdalclitch very
officiously lifted me up, to place me in the boat: but I
happened to slip through her fingers, and should infallibly have
fallen down forty feet upon the floor, if, by the luckiest
chance in the world, I had not been stopped by a corking-pin
that stuck in the good gentlewoman’s stomacher; the head of the
pin passing between my shirt and the waistband of my breeches,
and thus I was held by the middle in the air, till Glumdalclitch
ran to my relief.
Another time, one of the servants, whose office it was to
fill my trough every third day with fresh water, was so careless
as to let a huge frog (not perceiving it) slip out of his pail.
The frog lay concealed till I was put into my boat, but then,
seeing a resting-place, climbed up, and made it lean so much on
one side, that I was forced to balance it with all my weight on
the other, to prevent overturning. When the frog was got in, it
hopped at once half the length of the boat, and then over my
head, backward and forward, daubing my face and clothes with its
odious slime. The largeness of its features made it appear the
most deformed animal that can be conceived. However, I desired
Glumdalclitch to let me deal with it alone. I banged it a good
while with one of my sculls, and at last forced it to leap out
of the boat.
But the greatest danger I ever underwent in that kingdom, was
from a monkey, who belonged to one of the clerks of the
kitchen. Glumdalclitch had locked me up in her closet, while
she went somewhere upon business, or a visit. The weather being
very warm, the closet-window was left open, as well as the
windows and the door of my bigger box, in which I usually lived,
because of its largeness and conveniency. As I sat quietly
meditating at my table, I heard something bounce in at the
closet-window, and skip about from one side to the other:
whereat, although I was much alarmed, yet I ventured to look
out, but not stirring from my seat; and then I saw this
frolicsome animal frisking and leaping up and down, till at last
he came to my box, which he seemed to view with great pleasure
and curiosity, peeping in at the door and every window. I
retreated to the farther corner of my room; or box; but the
monkey looking in at every side, put me in such a fright, that I
wanted presence of mind to conceal myself under the bed, as I
might easily have done. After some time spent in peeping,
grinning, and chattering, he at last espied me; and reaching one
of his paws in at the door, as a cat does when she plays with a
mouse, although I often shifted place to avoid him, he at length
seized the lappet of my coat (which being made of that country
silk, was very thick and strong), and dragged me out. He took
me up in his right fore-foot and held me as a nurse does a child
she is going to suckle, just as I have seen the same sort of
creature do with a kitten in Europe; and when I offered to
struggle he squeezed me so hard, that I thought it more prudent
to submit. I have good reason to believe, that he took me for a
young one of his own species, by his often stroking my face very
gently with his other paw. In these diversions he was
interrupted by a noise at the closet door, as if somebody were
opening it: whereupon he suddenly leaped up to the window at
which he had come in, and thence upon the leads and gutters,
walking upon three legs, and holding me in the fourth, till he
clambered up to a roof that was next to ours. I heard
Glumdalclitch give a shriek at the moment he was carrying me
out. The poor girl was almost distracted: that quarter of the
palace was all in an uproar; the servants ran for ladders; the
monkey was seen by hundreds in the court, sitting upon the ridge
of a building, holding me like a baby in one of his forepaws,
and feeding me with the other, by cramming into my mouth some
victuals he had squeezed out of the bag on one side of his
chaps, and patting me when I would not eat; whereat many of the
rabble below could not forbear laughing; neither do I think they
justly ought to be blamed, for, without question, the sight was
ridiculous enough to every body but myself. Some of the people
threw up stones, hoping to drive the monkey down; but this was
strictly forbidden, or else, very probably, my brains had been
dashed out.
The ladders were now applied, and mounted by several men;
which the monkey observing, and finding himself almost
encompassed, not being able to make speed enough with his three
legs, let me drop on a ridge tile, and made his escape. Here I
sat for some time, five hundred yards from the ground, expecting
every moment to be blown down by the wind, or to fall by my own
giddiness, and come tumbling over and over from the ridge to the
eaves; but an honest lad, one of my nurse’s footmen, climbed up,
and putting me into his breeches pocket, brought me down safe.
I was almost choked with the filthy stuff the monkey had
crammed down my throat: but my dear little nurse picked it out
of my mouth with a small needle, and then I fell a-vomiting,
which gave me great relief. Yet I was so weak and bruised in
the sides with the squeezes given me by this odious animal, that
I was forced to keep my bed a fortnight. The king, queen, and
all the court, sent every day to inquire after my health; and
her majesty made me several visits during my sickness. The
monkey was killed, and an order made, that no such animal should
be kept about the palace.
When I attended the king after my recovery, to return him
thanks for his favours, he was pleased to rally me a good deal
upon this adventure. He asked me, “what my thoughts and
speculations were, while I lay in the monkey’s paw; how I liked
the victuals he gave me; his manner of feeding; and whether the
fresh air on the roof had sharpened my stomach.” He desired to
know, “what I would have done upon such an occasion in my own
country.” I told his majesty, “that in Europe we had no
monkeys, except such as were brought for curiosity from other
places, and so small, that I could deal with a dozen of them
together, if they presumed to attack me. And as for that
monstrous animal with whom I was so lately engaged (it was
indeed as large as an elephant), if my fears had suffered me to
think so far as to make use of my hanger,” (looking fiercely,
and clapping my hand on the hilt, as I spoke) “when he poked his
paw into my chamber, perhaps I should have given him such a
wound, as would have made him glad to withdraw it with more
haste than he put it in.” This I delivered in a firm tone, like
a person who was jealous lest his courage should be called in
question. However, my speech produced nothing else beside a
laud laughter, which all the respect due to his majesty from
those about him could not make them contain. This made me
reflect, how vain an attempt it is for a man to endeavour to do
himself honour among those who are out of all degree of equality
or comparison with him. And yet I have seen the moral of my own
behaviour very frequent in England since my return; where a
little contemptible varlet, without the least title to birth,
person, wit, or common sense, shall presume to look with
importance, and put himself upon a foot with the greatest
persons of the kingdom.
I was every day furnishing the court with some ridiculous
story: and Glumdalclitch, although she loved me to excess, yet
was arch enough to inform the queen, whenever I committed any
folly that she thought would be diverting to her majesty. The
girl, who had been out of order, was carried by her governess to
take the air about an hour’s distance, or thirty miles from
town. They alighted out of the coach near a small foot-path in
a field, and Glumdalclitch setting down my travelling box, I
went out of it to walk. There was a cow-dung in the path, and I
must need try my activity by attempting to leap over it. I took
a run, but unfortunately jumped short, and found myself just in
the middle up to my knees. I waded through with some
difficulty, and one of the footmen wiped me as clean as he could
with his handkerchief, for I was filthily bemired; and my nurse
confined me to my box, till we returned home; where the queen
was soon informed of what had passed, and the footmen spread it
about the court: so that all the mirth for some days was at my
expense.
CHAPTER VI.
Several contrivances of the author to please
the king and queen. He shows his skill in music. The king
inquires into the state of England, which the author relates to
him. The king’s observations thereon.
I used to attend the king’s levee once or twice a week, and
had often seen him under the barber’s hand, which indeed was at
first very terrible to behold; for the razor was almost twice as
long as an ordinary scythe. His majesty, according to the
custom of the country, was only shaved twice a-week. I once
prevailed on the barber to give me some of the suds or lather,
out of which I picked forty or fifty of the strongest stumps of
hair. I then took a piece of fine wood, and cut it like the
back of a comb, making several holes in it at equal distances
with as small a needle as I could get from Glumdalclitch. I
fixed in the stumps so artificially, scraping and sloping them
with my knife toward the points, that I made a very tolerable
comb; which was a seasonable supply, my own being so much broken
in the teeth, that it was almost useless: neither did I know any
artist in that country so nice and exact, as would undertake to
make me another.
And this puts me in mind of an amusement, wherein I spent
many of my leisure hours. I desired the queen’s woman to save
for me the combings of her majesty’s hair, whereof in time I got
a good quantity; and consulting with my friend the
cabinet-maker, who had received general orders to do little jobs
for me, I directed him to make two chair-frames, no larger than
those I had in my box, and to bore little holes with a fine awl,
round those parts where I designed the backs and seats; through
these holes I wove the strongest hairs I could pick out, just
after the manner of cane chairs in England. When they were
finished, I made a present of them to her majesty; who kept them
in her cabinet, and used to show them for curiosities, as indeed
they were the wonder of every one that beheld them. The queen
would have me sit upon one of these chairs, but I absolutely
refused to obey her, protesting I would rather die than place a
dishonourable part of my body on those precious hairs, that once
adorned her majesty’s head. Of these hairs (as I had always a
mechanical genius) I likewise made a neat little purse, about
five feet long, with her majesty’s name deciphered in gold
letters, which I gave to Glumdalclitch, by the queen’s consent.
To say the truth, it was more for show than use, being not of
strength to bear the weight of the larger coins, and therefore
she kept nothing in it but some little toys that girls are fond
of.
The king, who delighted in music, had frequent concerts at
court, to which I was sometimes carried, and set in my box on a
table to hear them: but the noise was so great that I could
hardly distinguish the tunes. I am confident that all the drums
and trumpets of a royal army, beating and sounding together just
at your ears, could not equal it. My practice was to have my
box removed from the place where the performers sat, as far as I
could, then to shut the doors and windows of it, and draw the
window curtains; after which I found their music not
disagreeable.
I had learned in my youth to play a little upon the spinet.
Glumdalclitch kept one in her chamber, and a master attended
twice a-week to teach her: I called it a spinet, because it
somewhat resembled that instrument, and was played upon in the
same manner. A fancy came into my head, that I would entertain
the king and queen with an English tune upon this instrument.
But this appeared extremely difficult: for the spinet was near
sixty feet long, each key being almost a foot wide, so that with
my arms extended I could not reach to above five keys, and to
press them down required a good smart stroke with my fist, which
would be too great a labour, and to no purpose. The method I
contrived was this: I prepared two round sticks, about the
bigness of common cudgels; they were thicker at one end than the
other, and I covered the thicker ends with pieces of a mouse’s
skin, that by rapping on them I might neither damage the tops of
the keys nor interrupt the sound. Before the spinet a bench was
placed, about four feet below the keys, and I was put upon the
bench. I ran sideling upon it, that way and this, as fast as I
could, banging the proper keys with my two sticks, and made a
shift to play a jig, to the great satisfaction of both their
majesties; but it was the most violent exercise I ever
underwent; and yet I could not strike above sixteen keys, nor
consequently play the bass and treble together, as other artists
do; which was a great disadvantage to my performance.
The king, who, as I before observed, was a prince of
excellent understanding, would frequently order that I should be
brought in my box, and set upon the table in his closet: he
would then command me to bring one of my chairs out of the box,
and sit down within three yards distance upon the top of the
cabinet, which brought me almost to a level with his face. In
this manner I had several conversations with him. I one day
took the freedom to tell his majesty, “that the contempt he
discovered towards Europe, and the rest of the world, did not
seem answerable to those excellent qualities of mind that he was
master of; that reason did not extend itself with the bulk of
the body; on the contrary, we observed in our country, that the
tallest persons were usually the least provided with it; that
among other animals, bees and ants had the reputation of more
industry, art, and sagacity, than many of the larger kinds; and
that, as inconsiderable as he took me to be, I hoped I might
live to do his majesty some signal service.” The king heard me
with attention, and began to conceive a much better opinion of
me than he had ever before. He desired “I would give him as
exact an account of the government of England as I possibly
could; because, as fond as princes commonly are of their own
customs (for so he conjectured of other monarchs, by my former
discourses), he should be glad to hear of any thing that might
deserve imitation.”
Imagine with thyself, courteous reader, how often I then
wished for the tongue of Demosthenes or Cicero, that might have
enabled me to celebrate the praise of my own dear native country
in a style equal to its merits and felicity.
I began my discourse by informing his majesty, that our
dominions consisted of two islands, which composed three mighty
kingdoms, under one sovereign, beside our plantations in
America. I dwelt long upon the fertility of our soil, and the
temperature of our climate. I then spoke at large upon the
constitution of an English parliament; partly made up of an
illustrious body called the House of Peers; persons of the
noblest blood, and of the most ancient and ample patrimonies. I
described that extraordinary care always taken of their
education in arts and arms, to qualify them for being
counsellors both to the king and kingdom; to have a share in the
legislature; to be members of the highest court of judicature,
whence there can be no appeal; and to be champions always ready
for the defence of their prince and country, by their valour,
conduct, and fidelity. That these were the ornament and bulwark
of the kingdom, worthy followers of their most renowned
ancestors, whose honour had been the reward of their virtue,
from which their posterity were never once known to degenerate.
To these were joined several holy persons, as part of that
assembly, under the title of bishops, whose peculiar business is
to take care of religion, and of those who instruct the people
therein. These were searched and sought out through the whole
nation, by the prince and his wisest counsellors, among such of
the priesthood as were most deservedly distinguished by the
sanctity of their lives, and the depth of their erudition; who
were indeed the spiritual fathers of the clergy and the people.
That the other part of the parliament consisted of an
assembly called the House of Commons, who were all principal
gentlemen, freely picked and culled out by the people
themselves, for their great abilities and love of their country,
to represent the wisdom of the whole nation. And that these two
bodies made up the most august assembly in Europe; to whom, in
conjunction with the prince, the whole legislature is committed.
I then descended to the courts of justice; over which the
judges, those venerable sages and interpreters of the law,
presided, for determining the disputed rights and properties of
men, as well as for the punishment of vice and protection of
innocence. I mentioned the prudent management of our treasury;
the valour and achievements of our forces, by sea and land. I
computed the number of our people, by reckoning how many
millions there might be of each religious sect, or political
party among us. I did not omit even our sports and pastimes, or
any other particular which I thought might redound to the honour
of my country. And I finished all with a brief historical
account of affairs and events in England for about a hundred
years past.
This conversation was not ended under five audiences, each of
several hours; and the king heard the whole with great
attention, frequently taking notes of what I spoke, as well as
memorandums of what questions he intended to ask me.
When I had put an end to these long discources, his majesty,
in a sixth audience, consulting his notes, proposed many doubts,
queries, and objections, upon every article. He asked, “What
methods were used to cultivate the minds and bodies of our young
nobility, and in what kind of business they commonly spent the
first and teachable parts of their lives? What course was taken
to supply that assembly, when any noble family became extinct?
What qualifications were necessary in those who are to be
created new lords: whether the humour of the prince, a sum of
money to a court lady, or a design of strengthening a party
opposite to the public interest, ever happened to be the motive
in those advancements? What share of knowledge these lords had
in the laws of their country, and how they came by it, so as to
enable them to decide the properties of their fellow-subjects in
the last resort? Whether they were always so free from avarice,
partialities, or want, that a bribe, or some other sinister
view, could have no place among them? Whether those holy lords
I spoke of were always promoted to that rank upon account of
their knowledge in religious matters, and the sanctity of their
lives; had never been compliers with the times, while they were
common priests; or slavish prostitute chaplains to some
nobleman, whose opinions they continued servilely to follow,
after they were admitted into that assembly?”
He then desired to know, “What arts were practised in
electing those whom I called commoners: whether a stranger, with
a strong purse, might not influence the vulgar voters to choose
him before their own landlord, or the most considerable
gentleman in the neighbourhood? How it came to pass, that
people were so violently bent upon getting into this assembly,
which I allowed to be a great trouble and expense, often to the
ruin of their families, without any salary or pension? because
this appeared such an exalted strain of virtue and public
spirit, that his majesty seemed to doubt it might possibly not
be always sincere.” And he desired to know, “Whether such
zealous gentlemen could have any views of refunding themselves
for the charges and trouble they were at by sacrificing the
public good to the designs of a weak and vicious prince, in
conjunction with a corrupted ministry?” He multiplied his
questions, and sifted me thoroughly upon every part of this
head, proposing numberless inquiries and objections, which I
think it not prudent or convenient to repeat.
Upon what I said in relation to our courts of justice, his
majesty desired to be satisfied in several points: and this I
was the better able to do, having been formerly almost ruined by
a long suit in chancery, which was decreed for me with costs.
He asked, “What time was usually spent in determining between
right and wrong, and what degree of expense? Whether advocates
and orators had liberty to plead in causes manifestly known to
be unjust, vexatious, or oppressive? Whether party, in religion
or politics, were observed to be of any weight in the scale of
justice? Whether those pleading orators were persons educated
in the general knowledge of equity, or only in provincial,
national, and other local customs? Whether they or their judges
had any part in penning those laws, which they assumed the
liberty of interpreting, and glossing upon at their pleasure?
Whether they had ever, at different times, pleaded for and
against the same cause, and cited precedents to prove contrary
opinions? Whether they were a rich or a poor corporation?
Whether they received any pecuniary reward for pleading, or
delivering their opinions? And particularly, whether they were
ever admitted as members in the lower senate?”
He fell next upon the management of our treasury; and said,
“he thought my memory had failed me, because I computed our
taxes at about five or six millions a-year, and when I came to
mention the issues, he found they sometimes amounted to more
than double; for the notes he had taken were very particular in
this point, because he hoped, as he told me, that the knowledge
of our conduct might be useful to him, and he could not be
deceived in his calculations. But, if what I told him were
true, he was still at a loss how a kingdom could run out of its
estate, like a private person.” He asked me, “who were our
creditors; and where we found money to pay them?” He wondered
to hear me talk of such chargeable and expensive wars; “that
certainly we must be a quarrelsome people, or live among very
bad neighbours, and that our generals must needs be richer than
our kings.” He asked, what business we had out of our own
islands, unless upon the score of trade, or treaty, or to defend
the coasts with our fleet?” Above all, he was amazed to hear me
talk of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of peace, and
among a free people. He said, “if we were governed by our own
consent, in the persons of our representatives, he could not
imagine of whom we were afraid, or against whom we were to
fight; and would hear my opinion, whether a private man’s house
might not be better defended by himself, his children, and
family, than by half-a-dozen rascals, picked up at a venture in
the streets for small wages, who might get a hundred times more
by cutting their throats?”
He laughed at my “odd kind of arithmetic,” as he was pleased
to call it, “in reckoning the numbers of our people, by a
computation drawn from the several sects among us, in religion
and politics.” He said, “he knew no reason why those, who
entertain opinions prejudicial to the public, should be obliged
to change, or should not be obliged to conceal them. And as it
was tyranny in any government to require the first, so it was
weakness not to enforce the second: for a man may be allowed to
keep poisons in his closet, but not to vend them about for
cordials.”
He observed, “that among the diversions of our nobility and
gentry, I had mentioned gaming: he desired to know at what age
this entertainment was usually taken up, and when it was laid
down; how much of their time it employed; whether it ever went
so high as to affect their fortunes; whether mean, vicious
people, by their dexterity in that art, might not arrive at
great riches, and sometimes keep our very nobles in dependence,
as well as habituate them to vile companions, wholly take them
from the improvement of their minds, and force them, by the
losses they received, to learn and practise that infamous
dexterity upon others?”
He was perfectly astonished with the historical account gave
him of our affairs during the last century; protesting “it was
only a heap of conspiracies, rebellions, murders, massacres,
revolutions, banishments, the very worst effects that avarice,
faction, hypocrisy, perfidiousness, cruelty, rage, madness,
hatred, envy, lust, malice, and ambition, could produce.”
His majesty, in another audience, was at the pains to
recapitulate the sum of all I had spoken; compared the questions
he made with the answers I had given; then taking me into his
hands, and stroking me gently, delivered himself in these words,
which I shall never forget, nor the manner he spoke them in: “My
little friend Grildrig, you have made a most admirable panegyric
upon your country; you have clearly proved, that ignorance,
idleness, and vice, are the proper ingredients for qualifying a
legislator; that laws are best explained, interpreted, and
applied, by those whose interest and abilities lie in
perverting, confounding, and eluding them. I observe among you
some lines of an institution, which, in its original, might have
been tolerable, but these half erased, and the rest wholly
blurred and blotted by corruptions. It does not appear, from
all you have said, how any one perfection is required toward the
procurement of any one station among you; much less, that men
are ennobled on account of their virtue; that priests are
advanced for their piety or learning; soldiers, for their
conduct or valour; judges, for their integrity; senators, for
the love of their country; or counsellors for their wisdom. As
for yourself,” continued the king, “who have spent the greatest
part of your life in travelling, I am well disposed to hope you
may hitherto have escaped many vices of your country. But by
what I have gathered from your own relation, and the answers I
have with much pains wrung and extorted from you, I cannot but
conclude the bulk of your natives to be the most pernicious race
of little odious vermin that nature ever suffered to crawl upon
the surface of the earth.”
CHAPTER VII.
The author’s love of his country. He makes a
proposal of much advantage to the king, which is rejected. The
king’s great ignorance in politics. The learning of that
country very imperfect and confined. The laws, and military
affairs, and parties in the state.
Nothing but an extreme love of truth could have hindered me
from concealing this part of my story. It was in vain to
discover my resentments, which were always turned into ridicule;
and I was forced to rest with patience, while my noble and
beloved country was so injuriously treated. I am as heartily
sorry as any of my readers can possibly be, that such an
occasion was given: but this prince happened to be so curious
and inquisitive upon every particular, that it could not consist
either with gratitude or good manners, to refuse giving him what
satisfaction I was able. Yet thus much I may be allowed to say
in my own vindication, that I artfully eluded many of his
questions, and gave to every point a more favourable turn, by
many degrees, than the strictness of truth would allow. For I
have always borne that laudable partiality to my own country,
which Dionysius Halicarnassensis, with so much justice,
recommends to an historian: I would hide the frailties and
deformities of my political mother, and place her virtues and
beauties in the most advantageous light. This was my sincere
endeavour in those many discourses I had with that monarch,
although it unfortunately failed of success.
But great allowances should be given to a king, who lives
wholly secluded from the rest of the world, and must therefore
be altogether unacquainted with the manners and customs that
most prevail in other nations: the want of which knowledge will
ever produce many prejudices, and a certain narrowness of
thinking, from which we, and the politer countries of Europe,
are wholly exempted. And it would be hard indeed, if so remote
a prince’s notions of virtue and vice were to be offered as a
standard for all mankind.
To confirm what I have now said, and further to show the
miserable effects of a confined education, I shall here insert a
passage, which will hardly obtain belief. In hopes to
ingratiate myself further into his majesty’s favour, I told him
of “an invention, discovered between three and four hundred
years ago, to make a certain powder, into a heap of which, the
smallest spark of fire falling, would kindle the whole in a
moment, although it were as big as a mountain, and make it all
fly up in the air together, with a noise and agitation greater
than thunder. That a proper quantity of this powder rammed into
a hollow tube of brass or iron, according to its bigness, would
drive a ball of iron or lead, with such violence and speed, as
nothing was able to sustain its force. That the largest balls
thus discharged, would not only destroy whole ranks of an army
at once, but batter the strongest walls to the ground, sink down
ships, with a thousand men in each, to the bottom of the sea,
and when linked together by a chain, would cut through masts and
rigging, divide hundreds of bodies in the middle, and lay all
waste before them. That we often put this powder into large
hollow balls of iron, and discharged them by an engine into some
city we were besieging, which would rip up the pavements, tear
the houses to pieces, burst and throw splinters on every side,
dashing out the brains of all who came near. That I knew the
ingredients very well, which were cheap and common; I understood
the manner of compounding them, and could direct his workmen how
to make those tubes, of a size proportionable to all other
things in his majesty’s kingdom, and the largest need not be
above a hundred feet long; twenty or thirty of which tubes,
charged with the proper quantity of powder and balls, would
batter down the walls of the strongest town in his dominions in
a few hours, or destroy the whole metropolis, if ever it should
pretend to dispute his absolute commands.” This I humbly
offered to his majesty, as a small tribute of acknowledgment, in
turn for so many marks that I had received, of his royal favour
and protection.
The king was struck with horror at the description I had
given of those terrible engines, and the proposal I had made.
“He was amazed, how so impotent and grovelling an insect as I”
(these were his expressions) “could entertain such inhuman
ideas, and in so familiar a manner, as to appear wholly unmoved
at all the scenes of blood and desolation which I had painted as
the common effects of those destructive machines; whereof,” he
said, “some evil genius, enemy to mankind, must have been the
first contriver. As for himself, he protested, that although
few things delighted him so much as new discoveries in art or in
nature, yet he would rather lose half his kingdom, than be privy
to such a secret; which he commanded me, as I valued any life,
never to mention any more.”
A strange effect of narrow principles and views! that a
prince possessed of every quality which procures veneration,
love, and esteem; of strong parts, great wisdom, and profound
learning, endowed with admirable talents, and almost adored by
his subjects, should, from a nice, unnecessary scruple, whereof
in Europe we can have no conception, let slip an opportunity put
into his hands that would have made him absolute master of the
lives, the liberties, and the fortunes of his people! Neither
do I say this, with the least intention to detract from the many
virtues of that excellent king, whose character, I am sensible,
will, on this account, be very much lessened in the opinion of
an English reader: but I take this defect among them to have
risen from their ignorance, by not having hitherto reduced
politics into a science, as the more acute wits of Europe have
done. For, I remember very well, in a discourse one day with
the king, when I happened to say, “there were several thousand
books among us written upon the art of government,” it gave him
(directly contrary to my intention) a very mean opinion of our
understandings. He professed both to abominate and despise all
mystery, refinement, and intrigue, either in a prince or a
minister. He could not tell what I meant by secrets of state,
where an enemy, or some rival nation, were not in the case. He
confined the knowledge of governing within very narrow bounds,
to common sense and reason, to justice and lenity, to the speedy
determination of civil and criminal causes; with some other
obvious topics, which are not worth considering. And he gave it
for his opinion, “that whoever could make two ears of corn, or
two blades of grass, to grow upon a spot of ground where only
one grew before, would deserve better of mankind, and do more
essential service to his country, than the whole race of
politicians put together.”
The learning of this people is very defective, consisting
only in morality, history, poetry, and mathematics, wherein they
must be allowed to excel. But the last of these is wholly
applied to what may be useful in life, to the improvement of
agriculture, and all mechanical arts; so that among us, it would
be little esteemed. And as to ideas, entities, abstractions,
and transcendentals, I could never drive the least conception
into their heads.
No law in that country must exceed in words the number of
letters in their alphabet, which consists only of two and
twenty. But indeed few of them extend even to that length.
They are expressed in the most plain and simple terms, wherein
those people are not mercurial enough to discover above one
interpretation: and to write a comment upon any law, is a
capital crime. As to the decision of civil causes, or
proceedings against criminals, their precedents are so few, that
they have little reason to boast of any extraordinary skill in
either.
They have had the art of printing, as well as the Chinese,
time out of mind: but their libraries are not very large; for
that of the king, which is reckoned the largest, does not amount
to above a thousand volumes, placed in a gallery of twelve
hundred feet long, whence I had liberty to borrow what books I
pleased. The queen’s joiner had contrived in one of
Glumdalclitch’s rooms, a kind of wooden machine five-and-twenty
feet high, formed like a standing ladder; the steps were each
fifty feet long. It was indeed a moveable pair of stairs, the
lowest end placed at ten feet distance from the wall of the
chamber. The book I had a mind to read, was put up leaning
against the wall: I first mounted to the upper step of the
ladder, and turning my face towards the book, began at the top
of the page, and so walking to the right and left about eight or
ten paces, according to the length of the lines, till I had
gotten a little below the level of mine eyes, and then
descending gradually till I came to the bottom: after which I
mounted again, and began the other page in the same manner, and
so turned over the leaf, which I could easily do with both my
hands, for it was as thick and stiff as a pasteboard, and in the
largest folios not above eighteen or twenty feet long.
Their style is clear, masculine, and smooth, but not florid;
for they avoid nothing more than multiplying unnecessary words,
or using various expressions. I have perused many of their
books, especially those in history and morality. Among the
rest, I was much diverted with a little old treatise, which
always lay in Glumdalclitch’s bed chamber, and belonged to her
governess, a grave elderly gentlewoman, who dealt in writings of
morality and devotion. The book treats of the weakness of human
kind, and is in little esteem, except among the women and the
vulgar. However, I was curious to see what an author of that
country could say upon such a subject. This writer went through
all the usual topics of European moralists, showing “how
diminutive, contemptible, and helpless an animal was man in his
own nature; how unable to defend himself from inclemencies of
the air, or the fury of wild beasts: how much he was excelled by
one creature in strength, by another in speed, by a third in
foresight, by a fourth in industry.” He added, “that nature was
degenerated in these latter declining ages of the world, and
could now produce only small abortive births, in comparison of
those in ancient times.” He said “it was very reasonable to
think, not only that the species of men were originally much
larger, but also that there must have been giants in former
ages; which, as it is asserted by history and tradition, so it
has been confirmed by huge bones and skulls, casually dug up in
several parts of the kingdom, far exceeding the common dwindled
race of men in our days.” He argued, “that the very laws of
nature absolutely required we should have been made, in the
beginning of a size more large and robust; not so liable to
destruction from every little accident, of a tile falling from a
house, or a stone cast from the hand of a boy, or being drowned
in a little brook.” From this way of reasoning, the author drew
several moral applications, useful in the conduct of life, but
needless here to repeat. For my own part, I could not avoid
reflecting how universally this talent was spread, of drawing
lectures in morality, or indeed rather matter of discontent and
repining, from the quarrels we raise with nature. And I
believe, upon a strict inquiry, those quarrels might be shown as
ill-grounded among us as they are among that people.
As to their military affairs, they boast that the king’s army
consists of a hundred and seventy-six thousand foot, and
thirty-two thousand horse: if that may be called an army, which
is made up of tradesmen in the several cities, and farmers in
the country, whose commanders are only the nobility and gentry,
without pay or reward. They are indeed perfect enough in their
exercises, and under very good discipline, wherein I saw no
great merit; for how should it be otherwise, where every farmer
is under the command of his own landlord, and every citizen
under that of the principal men in his own city, chosen after
the manner of Venice, by ballot?
I have often seen the militia of Lorbrulgrud drawn out to
exercise, in a great field near the city of twenty miles
square. They were in all not above twenty-five thousand foot,
and six thousand horse; but it was impossible for me to compute
their number, considering the space of ground they took up. A
cavalier, mounted on a large steed, might be about ninety feet
high. I have seen this whole body of horse, upon a word of
command, draw their swords at once, and brandish them in the
air. Imagination can figure nothing so grand, so surprising,
and so astonishing! it looked as if ten thousand flashes of
lightning were darting at the same time from every quarter of
the sky.
I was curious to know how this prince, to whose dominions
there is no access from any other country, came to think of
armies, or to teach his people the practice of military
discipline. But I was soon informed, both by conversation and
reading their histories; for, in the course of many ages, they
have been troubled with the same disease to which the whole race
of mankind is subject; the nobility often contending for power,
the people for liberty, and the king for absolute dominion. All
which, however happily tempered by the laws of that kingdom,
have been sometimes violated by each of the three parties, and
have more than once occasioned civil wars; the last whereof was
happily put an end to by this prince’s grand-father, in a
general composition; and the militia, then settled with common
consent, has been ever since kept in the strictest duty.
CHAPTER VIII.
The king and queen make a progress to the
frontiers. The author attends them. The manner in which he
leaves the country very particularly related. He returns to
England.
I had always a strong impulse that I should some time recover
my liberty, though it was impossible to conjecture by what
means, or to form any project with the least hope of
succeeding. The ship in which I sailed, was the first ever
known to be driven within sight of that coast, and the king had
given strict orders, that if at any time another appeared, it
should be taken ashore, and with all its crew and passengers
brought in a tumbril to Lorbrulgrud. He was strongly bent to
get me a woman of my own size, by whom I might propagate the
breed: but I think I should rather have died than undergone the
disgrace of leaving a posterity to be kept in cages, like tame
canary-birds, and perhaps, in time, sold about the kingdom, to
persons of quality, for curiosities. I was indeed treated with
much kindness: I was the favourite of a great king and queen,
and the delight of the whole court; but it was upon such a foot
as ill became the dignity of humankind. I could never forget
those domestic pledges I had left behind me. I wanted to be
among people, with whom I could converse upon even terms, and
walk about the streets and fields without being afraid of being
trod to death like a frog or a young puppy. But my deliverance
came sooner than I expected, and in a manner not very common;
the whole story and circumstances of which I shall faithfully
relate.
I had now been two years in this country; and about the
beginning of the third, Glumdalclitch and I attended the king
and queen, in a progress to the south coast of the kingdom. I
was carried, as usual, in my travelling-box, which as I have
already described, was a very convenient closet, of twelve feet
wide. And I had ordered a hammock to be fixed, by silken ropes
from the four corners at the top, to break the jolts, when a
servant carried me before him on horseback, as I sometimes
desired; and would often sleep in my hammock, while we were upon
the road. On the roof of my closet, not directly over the
middle of the hammock, I ordered the joiner to cut out a hole of
a foot square, to give me air in hot weather, as I slept; which
hole I shut at pleasure with a board that drew backward and
forward through a groove.
When we came to our journey’s end, the king thought proper to
pass a few days at a palace he has near Flanflasnic, a city
within eighteen English miles of the seaside. Glumdalclitch and
I were much fatigued: I had gotten a small cold, but the poor
girl was so ill as to be confined to her chamber. I longed to
see the ocean, which must be the only scene of my escape, if
ever it should happen. I pretended to be worse than I really
was, and desired leave to take the fresh air of the sea, with a
page, whom I was very fond of, and who had sometimes been
trusted with me. I shall never forget with what unwillingness
Glumdalclitch consented, nor the strict charge she gave the page
to be careful of me, bursting at the same time into a flood of
tears, as if she had some forboding of what was to happen. The
boy took me out in my box, about half an hours walk from the
palace, towards the rocks on the sea-shore. I ordered him to
set me down, and lifting up one of my sashes, cast many a
wistful melancholy look towards the sea. I found myself not
very well, and told the page that I had a mind to take a nap in
my hammock, which I hoped would do me good. I got in, and the
boy shut the window close down, to keep out the cold. I soon
fell asleep, and all I can conjecture is, while I slept, the
page, thinking no danger could happen, went among the rocks to
look for birds’ eggs, having before observed him from my window
searching about, and picking up one or two in the clefts. Be
that as it will, I found myself suddenly awaked with a violent
pull upon the ring, which was fastened at the top of my box for
the conveniency of carriage. I felt my box raised very high in
the air, and then borne forward with prodigious speed. The
first jolt had like to have shaken me out of my hammock, but
afterward the motion was easy enough. I called out several
times, as loud as I could raise my voice, but all to no
purpose. I looked towards my windows, and could see nothing but
the clouds and sky. I heard a noise just over my head, like the
clapping of wings, and then began to perceive the woful
condition I was in; that some eagle had got the ring of my box
in his beak, with an intent to let it fall on a rock, like a
tortoise in a shell, and then pick out my body, and devour it:
for the sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to discover
his quarry at a great distance, though better concealed than I
could be within a two-inch board.
In a little time, I observed the noise and flutter of wings
to increase very fast, and my box was tossed up and down, like a
sign in a windy day. I heard several bangs or buffets, as I
thought given to the eagle (for such I am certain it must have
been that held the ring of my box in his beak), and then, all on
a sudden, felt myself falling perpendicularly down, for above a
minute, but with such incredible swiftness, that I almost lost
my breath. My fall was stopped by a terrible squash, that
sounded louder to my ears than the cataract of Niagara; after
which, I was quite in the dark for another minute, and then my
box began to rise so high, that I could see light from the tops
of the windows. I now perceived I was fallen into the sea. My
box, by the weight of my body, the goods that were in, and the
broad plates of iron fixed for strength at the four corners of
the top and bottom, floated about five feet deep in water. I
did then, and do now suppose, that the eagle which flew away
with my box was pursued by two or three others, and forced to
let me drop, while he defended himself against the rest, who
hoped to share in the prey. The plates of iron fastened at the
bottom of the box (for those were the strongest) preserved the
balance while it fell, and hindered it from being broken on the
surface of the water. Every joint of it was well grooved; and
the door did not move on hinges, but up and down like a sash,
which kept my closet so tight that very little water came in. I
got with much difficulty out of my hammock, having first
ventured to draw back the slip-board on the roof already
mentioned, contrived on purpose to let in air, for want of which
I found myself almost stifled.
How often did I then wish myself with my dear Glumdalclitch,
from whom one single hour had so far divided me! And I may say
with truth, that in the midst of my own misfortunes I could not
forbear lamenting my poor nurse, the grief she would suffer for
my loss, the displeasure of the queen, and the ruin of her
fortune. Perhaps many travellers have not been under greater
difficulties and distress than I was at this juncture, expecting
every moment to see my box dashed to pieces, or at least overset
by the first violent blast, or rising wave. A breach in one
single pane of glass would have been immediate death: nor could
any thing have preserved the windows, but the strong lattice
wires placed on the outside, against accidents in travelling. I
saw the water ooze in at several crannies, although the leaks
were not considerable, and I endeavoured to stop them as well as
I could. I was not able to lift up the roof of my closet, which
otherwise I certainly should have done, and sat on the top of
it; where I might at least preserve myself some hours longer,
than by being shut up (as I may call it) in the hold. Or if I
escaped these dangers for a day or two, what could I expect but
a miserable death of cold and hunger? I was four hours under
these circumstances, expecting, and indeed wishing, every moment
to be my last.
I have already told the reader that there were two strong
staples fixed upon that side of my box which had no window, and
into which the servant, who used to carry me on horseback, would
put a leathern belt, and buckle it about his waist. Being in
this disconsolate state, I heard, or at least thought I heard,
some kind of grating noise on that side of my box where the
staples were fixed; and soon after I began to fancy that the box
was pulled or towed along the sea; for I now and then felt a
sort of tugging, which made the waves rise near the tops of my
windows, leaving me almost in the dark. This gave me some faint
hopes of relief, although I was not able to imagine how it could
be brought about. I ventured to unscrew one of my chairs, which
were always fastened to the floor; and having made a hard shift
to screw it down again, directly under the slipping-board that I
had lately opened, I mounted on the chair, and putting my mouth
as near as I could to the hole, I called for help in a loud
voice, and in all the languages I understood. I then fastened
my handkerchief to a stick I usually carried, and thrusting it
up the hole, waved it several times in the air, that if any boat
or ship were near, the seamen might conjecture some unhappy
mortal to be shut up in the box.
I found no effect from all I could do, but plainly perceived
my closet to be moved along; and in the space of an hour, or
better, that side of the box where the staples were, and had no
windows, struck against something that was hard. I apprehended
it to be a rock, and found myself tossed more than ever. I
plainly heard a noise upon the cover of my closet, like that of
a cable, and the grating of it as it passed through the ring. I
then found myself hoisted up, by degrees, at least three feet
higher than I was before. Whereupon I again thrust up my stick
and handkerchief, calling for help till I was almost hoarse. In
return to which, I heard a great shout repeated three times,
giving me such transports of joy as are not to be conceived but
by those who feel them. I now heard a trampling over my head,
and somebody calling through the hole with a loud voice, in the
English tongue, “If there be any body below, let them speak.” I
answered, “I was an Englishman, drawn by ill fortune into the
greatest calamity that ever any creature underwent, and begged,
by all that was moving, to be delivered out of the dungeon I was
in.” The voice replied, “I was safe, for my box was fastened to
their ship; and the carpenter should immediately come and saw a
hole in the cover, large enough to pull me out.” I answered,
“that was needless, and would take up too much time; for there
was no more to be done, but let one of the crew put his finger
into the ring, and take the box out of the sea into the ship,
and so into the captain’s cabin.” Some of them, upon hearing me
talk so wildly, thought I was mad: others laughed; for indeed it
never came into my head, that I was now got among people of my
own stature and strength. The carpenter came, and in a few
minutes sawed a passage about four feet square, then let down a
small ladder, upon which I mounted, and thence was taken into
the ship in a very weak condition.
The sailors were all in amazement, and asked me a thousand
questions, which I had no inclination to answer. I was equally
confounded at the sight of so many pigmies, for such I took them
to be, after having so long accustomed mine eyes to the
monstrous objects I had left. But the captain, Mr. Thomas
Wilcocks, an honest worthy Shropshire man, observing I was ready
to faint, took me into his cabin, gave me a cordial to comfort
me, and made me turn in upon his own bed, advising me to take a
little rest, of which I had great need. Before I went to sleep,
I gave him to understand that I had some valuable furniture in
my box, too good to be lost: a fine hammock, a handsome
field-bed, two chairs, a table, and a cabinet; that my closet
was hung on all sides, or rather quilted, with silk and cotton;
that if he would let one of the crew bring my closet into his
cabin, I would open it there before him, and show him my goods.
The captain, hearing me utter these absurdities, concluded I was
raving; however (I suppose to pacify me) he promised to give
order as I desired, and going upon deck, sent some of his men
down into my closet, whence (as I afterwards found) they drew up
all my goods, and stripped off the quilting; but the chairs,
cabinet, and bedstead, being screwed to the floor, were much
damaged by the ignorance of the seamen, who tore them up by
force. Then they knocked off some of the boards for the use of
the ship, and when they had got all they had a mind for, let the
hull drop into the sea, which by reason of many breaches made in
the bottom and sides, sunk to rights. And, indeed, I was glad
not to have been a spectator of the havoc they made, because I
am confident it would have sensibly touched me, by bringing
former passages into my mind, which I would rather have forgot.
I slept some hours, but perpetually disturbed with dreams of
the place I had left, and the dangers I had escaped. However,
upon waking, I found myself much recovered. It was now about
eight o’clock at night, and the captain ordered supper
immediately, thinking I had already fasted too long. He
entertained me with great kindness, observing me not to look
wildly, or talk inconsistently: and, when we were left alone,
desired I would give him a relation of my travels, and by what
accident I came to be set adrift, in that monstrous wooden
chest. He said “that about twelve o’clock at noon, as he was
looking through his glass, he spied it at a distance, and
thought it was a sail, which he had a mind to make, being not
much out of his course, in hopes of buying some biscuit, his own
beginning to fall short. That upon coming nearer, and finding
his error, he sent out his long-boat to discover what it was;
that his men came back in a fright, swearing they had seen a
swimming house. That he laughed at their folly, and went
himself in the boat, ordering his men to take a strong cable
along with them. That the weather being calm, he rowed round me
several times, observed my windows and wire lattices that
defended them. That he discovered two staples upon one side,
which was all of boards, without any passage for light. He then
commanded his men to row up to that side, and fastening a cable
to one of the staples, ordered them to tow my chest, as they
called it, toward the ship. When it was there, he gave
directions to fasten another cable to the ring fixed in the
cover, and to raise up my chest with pulleys, which all the
sailors were not able to do above two or three feet.” He said,
“they saw my stick and handkerchief thrust out of the hole, and
concluded that some unhappy man must be shut up in the cavity.”
I asked, “whether he or the crew had seen any prodigious birds
in the air, about the time he first discovered me.” To which he
answered, “that discoursing this matter with the sailors while I
was asleep, one of them said, he had observed three eagles
flying towards the north, but remarked nothing of their being
larger than the usual size:” which I suppose must be imputed to
the great height they were at; and he could not guess the reason
of my question. I then asked the captain, “how far he reckoned
we might be from land?” He said, “by the best computation he
could make, we were at least a hundred leagues.” I assured him,
“that he must be mistaken by almost half, for I had not left the
country whence I came above two hours before I dropped into the
sea.” Whereupon he began again to think that my brain was
disturbed, of which he gave me a hint, and advised me to go to
bed in a cabin he had provided. I assured him, “I was well
refreshed with his good entertainment and company, and as much
in my senses as ever I was in my life.” He then grew serious,
and desired to ask me freely, “whether I were not troubled in my
mind by the consciousness of some enormous crime, for which I
was punished, at the command of some prince, by exposing me in
that chest; as great criminals, in other countries, have been
forced to sea in a leaky vessel, without provisions: for
although he should be sorry to have taken so ill a man into his
ship, yet he would engage his word to set me safe ashore, in the
first port where we arrived.” He added, “that his suspicions
were much increased by some very absurd speeches I had delivered
at first to his sailors, and afterwards to himself, in relation
to my closet or chest, as well as by my odd looks and behaviour
while I was at supper.”
I begged his patience to hear me tell my story, which I
faithfully did, from the last time I left England, to the moment
he first discovered me. And, as truth always forces its way
into rational minds, so this honest worthy gentleman, who had
some tincture of learning, and very good sense, was immediately
convinced of my candour and veracity. But further to confirm
all I had said, I entreated him to give order that my cabinet
should be brought, of which I had the key in my pocket; for he
had already informed me how the seamen disposed of my closet. I
opened it in his own presence, and showed him the small
collection of rarities I made in the country from which I had
been so strangely delivered. There was the comb I had contrived
out of the stumps of the king’s beard, and another of the same
materials, but fixed into a paring of her majesty’s thumb-nail,
which served for the back. There was a collection of needles
and pins, from a foot to half a yard long; four wasp stings,
like joiner’s tacks; some combings of the queen’s hair; a gold
ring, which one day she made me a present of, in a most obliging
manner, taking it from her little finger, and throwing it over
my head like a collar. I desired the captain would please to
accept this ring in return for his civilities; which he
absolutely refused. I showed him a corn that I had cut off with
my own hand, from a maid of honour’s toe; it was about the
bigness of Kentish pippin, and grown so hard, that when I
returned England, I got it hollowed into a cup, and set in
silver. Lastly, I desired him to see the breeches I had then
on, which were made of a mouse’s skin.
I could force nothing on him but a footman’s tooth, which I
observed him to examine with great curiosity, and found he had a
fancy for it. He received it with abundance of thanks, more
than such a trifle could deserve. It was drawn by an unskilful
surgeon, in a mistake, from one of Glumdalclitch’s men, who was
afflicted with the tooth-ache, but it was as sound as any in his
head. I got it cleaned, and put it into my cabinet. It was
about a foot long, and four inches in diameter.
The captain was very well satisfied with this plain relation
I had given him, and said, “he hoped, when we returned to
England, I would oblige the world by putting it on paper, and
making it public.” My answer was, “that we were overstocked
with books of travels: that nothing could now pass which was not
extraordinary; wherein I doubted some authors less consulted
truth, than their own vanity, or interest, or the diversion of
ignorant readers; that my story could contain little beside
common events, without those ornamental descriptions of strange
plants, trees, birds, and other animals; or of the barbarous
customs and idolatry of savage people, with which most writers
abound. However, I thanked him for his good opinion, and
promised to take the matter into my thoughts.”
He said “he wondered at one thing very much, which was, to
hear me speak so loud;” asking me “whether the king or queen of
that country were thick of hearing?” I told him, “it was what I
had been used to for above two years past, and that I admired as
much at the voices of him and his men, who seemed to me only to
whisper, and yet I could hear them well enough. But, when I
spoke in that country, it was like a man talking in the streets,
to another looking out from the top of a steeple, unless when I
was placed on a table, or held in any person’s hand.” I told
him, “I had likewise observed another thing, that, when I first
got into the ship, and the sailors stood all about me, I thought
they were the most little contemptible creatures I had ever
beheld.” For indeed, while I was in that prince’s country, I
could never endure to look in a glass, after mine eyes had been
accustomed to such prodigious objects, because the comparison
gave me so despicable a conceit of myself. The captain said,
“that while we were at supper, he observed me to look at every
thing with a sort of wonder, and that I often seemed hardly able
to contain my laughter, which he knew not well how to take, but
imputed it to some disorder in my brain.” I answered, “it was
very true; and I wondered how I could forbear, when I saw his
dishes of the size of a silver three-pence, a leg of pork hardly
a mouthful, a cup not so big as a nut-shell;” and so I went on,
describing the rest of his household-stuff and provisions, after
the same manner. For, although he queen had ordered a little
equipage of all things necessary for me, while I was in her
service, yet my ideas were wholly taken up with what I saw on
every side of me, and I winked at my own littleness, as people
do at their own faults. The captain understood my raillery very
well, and merrily replied with the old English proverb, “that he
doubted mine eyes were bigger than my belly, for he did not
observe my stomach so good, although I had fasted all day;” and,
continuing in his mirth, protested “he would have gladly given a
hundred pounds, to have seen my closet in the eagle’s bill, and
afterwards in its fall from so great a height into the sea;
which would certainly have been a most astonishing object,
worthy to have the description of it transmitted to future
ages:” and the comparison of Phaėton was so obvious, that he
could not forbear applying it, although I did not much admire
the conceit.
The captain having been at Tonquin, was, in his return to
England, driven north-eastward to the latitude of 44 degrees,
and longitude of 143. But meeting a trade-wind two days after I
came on board him, we sailed southward a long time, and coasting
New Holland, kept our course west-south-west, and then
south-south-west, till we doubled the Cape of Good Hope. Our
voyage was very prosperous, but I shall not trouble the reader
with a journal of it. The captain called in at one or two
ports, and sent in his long-boat for provisions and fresh water;
but I never went out of the ship till we came into the Downs,
which was on the third day of June, 1706, about nine months
after my escape. I offered to leave my goods in security for
payment of my freight: but the captain protested he would not
receive one farthing. We took a kind leave of each other, and I
made him promise he would come to see me at my house in
Redriff. I hired a horse and guide for five shillings, which I
borrowed of the captain.
As I was on the road, observing the littleness of the houses,
the trees, the cattle, and the people, I began to think myself
in Lilliput. I was afraid of trampling on every traveller I
met, and often called aloud to have them stand out of the way,
so that I had like to have gotten one or two broken heads for my
impertinence.
When I came to my own house, for which I was forced to
inquire, one of the servants opening the door, I bent down to go
in, (like a goose under a gate,) for fear of striking my head.
My wife run out to embrace me, but I stooped lower than her
knees, thinking she could otherwise never be able to reach my
mouth. My daughter kneeled to ask my blessing, but I could not
see her till she arose, having been so long used to stand with
my head and eyes erect to above sixty feet; and then I went to
take her up with one hand by the waist. I looked down upon the
servants, and one or two friends who were in the house, as if
they had been pigmies and I a giant. I told my wife, “she had
been too thrifty, for I found she had starved herself and her
daughter to nothing.” In short, I behaved myself so
unaccountably, that they were all of the captain’s opinion when
he first saw me, and concluded I had lost my wits. This I
mention as an instance of the great power of habit and
prejudice.
In a little time, I and my family and friends came to a right
understanding: but my wife protested “I should never go to sea
any more;” although my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not
power to hinder me, as the reader may know hereafter. In the
mean time, I here conclude the second part of my unfortunate
voyages.
