WOE
FROM WIT
A
Four-Act Comedy
Translated by
A.S.Vagapov
C A S T :
P a v e l A f a n a s y e v i
c h F a m u s o v , head of office
S o f i a P a v l o v n a ,
his daughter
L i z i e , maid
A l e x e y S t e p a n o v i
c h M o l c h a l i n , Famusov's secretary living
in his house
A l e x a n d r A n d r e y e
v i c h C h a t s k y
C o l o n e l S k a l o z u b
, S e r g e y D m i t r i y e v i c h
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a, young lady the Goriches P l a t o n M i k h
a i l o v i c h , her husband
C o u n t T u g o u k h o v s
k y
C o u n t e s s , his wife
with six daughters
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
n y the Khryumins C o u n t e s s , the d a u g h
t e r
A n t o n A n t o n o v i c h
Z a g o r e t s k y
O l d K h l y o s t o v a ,
Famusov's sister-in-law
M r. N.
M r. D.
R e p e t i l o v
P e t r u s h k a and some
footmen. A large number of guests of all ranks and
footmen engaged at departure of guests. Famusov's
waiters.
The scene is laid in Moscow at
Famusov's house.
A C T 1
Scene 1
A sitting room with a big
clock in it, to the right is
Sofia's
bedroom door, the sound of a piano and a flute come
from
Sofia's
room, and then the music ceases. Lizzie is asleep
hanging down from the armchair (It is morning. The
day is just about to break)
L i z i e (wakes up suddenly,
raises from the chair, looks around)
It's dawning ! . .. Oh! How
fast
The night has passed !
They didn't let me go to bed
'In expectation of a friend'.
I had to be on the alert,
It's only now that I could
doze
Sitting like this, in such a
pose !
I could have fallen from the
chair !
It's dawn . . . They must be
unaware . . .
(knocks at Sofia's door)
Sir ! Madame ! What a plight !
You have been chattering all
night,
Sir, are you deaf ? Ma'am, do
you hear ?
No, they do not seem to fear.
(walks away from the door)
Look out, uninvited guest !
The father may appear ! I
serve a loving woman, yes !
( moves to the door again)
It's time to part. Stop that
conversation !
( S o f i a ' s v o i c e )
What time is it ?
L i z i e
The house is all in agitation.
S o f i a (from her room)
What is the time ?
L i z i e
It is about seven, eight or
nine . . .
S o f i a (from the same
place)
It isn't true.
L i z i e ( goes away)
Ah, this damn amour !
They do not want to get me
right . . .
Those shutters keeping out the
light !
I'll put the clock a little
on, although
There'll be a row, I know.
(gets on the chair, moves the
hour hand; the clock strikes and plays the tune)
Scene 2
Lizzie and Famous
L i z i e
It's you, sir ?
F a m u s o v
Yes, it's me.
( stops the clock music)
You naughty little mischief
maker ! I didn't know !
I had just wondered what it
could be:
Now it's a flute, now it's a
piano,
It's much too early in the day
For Sofia to play.
L i z i e
No, sir . . . For once . . .
I did it quite by chance.
F a m u s o v
That's it:
I must be on the watch indeed,
It was intended to be sure.
(cuddles up to her)
You naughty girl, you mischief
maker, you are ! . .
L i z i e
Naughty yourself ! The words
you say
Do not befit you, do they ?
F a m u s o v
You're modest but the
frivolous kind,
Frivolities and mischief are
all you have in mind.
L i z i e
It's you who's frivolous, let
go, will you ?
Compose yourself, old man. F a
m u s o v
I'm not quite old.
L i z i e
Should somebody come in, what
shall we do ?
F a m u s o v
Who may come here now,
uncalled ?
Is Sofia asleep ?
L i z i e
Just gone to bed.
F a m u s o v
Just now? And what about the
night ?
L i z i e
She read.
F a m u s o v
The kind of whim she has, you
see ?
L i z i e
She's reading there under lock
and key.
F a m u s o v
You tell her what: she mustn't
spoil her sight
For reading is of little
worth. It's just a fashion.
She doesn't sleep from reading
French at night,
I fall asleep when I read
Russian.
L i z i e
When she gets up I'll tell her
so,
You'll wake her up, I'm
afraid, please go.
F a m u s o v
I'll wake her up ? Why, it is
you not me
Who starts the clock and makes
it play a symphony.
L i z i e (raising her voice)
Now stop it, will you ?
F a m u s o v (shutting her
mouth)
Why shout like that ?
Are you going mad ?
L i z i e
There's something wrong about
it, I fear.
F a m u s o v
About what, my dear ?
L i z i e
You ought to know for you're
not a little one:
Young women's sleep is light
at down,
They hear every whisper, a
door creak, or a sigh,
They hear everything.
F a m u s o v
No, it's a lie.
S o f i a (her voice comes
from her room)
Ah, Lizzie!
F a m u s o v (quickly)
Hush !
(Tiptoeing out of the room
hurriedly)
L i z i e (alone in the room)
He's gone. Beware of masters,
they
Will cause you trouble any
day.
Of all the woes may God
deliver us from both
From their love and their
wrath.
Scene 3
Lizzie, Sofia candle in hand,
followed by Molchalin.
S o f i a
What's up, Liz ? You're making
such a noise . . .
L i z i e
You find it hard to part, of
course,
Locked up all night - it is
enough, my lady.
S o f i a
My, it's the break of day
already !
(puts out the candle)
It's light and gloom. The
night's so quick to pass !
L i z i e
You may be gloomy. And I feel
much worse.
Your father took me by
surprise,
I shifted, dodged and told him
lies. (to Molchlin) Don't stand like that ! Just
take your bow,
I see that you are scared, and
how !
Look at the clock. Now just
look out -
People are long up and about,
And in the house all is in
motion:
They're knocking, walking,
cleaning, washing.
S o f i a
Happiness takes no account of
time.
L i z i e
You watch the time or not,
it's up to you;
I'm in for trouble, I shall
get my due.
S o f i a (to Molchalin)
Now you must go. We'll have
another tedious day.
L i z i e
God bless you ! Take your
hands away !
(Separates them; Molchalin
runs into Famusov in the doorway)
Scene 4
Sofia, Lizzie, Molchalin,
Famusov.
F a m u s o v
What a surprise ! It's you,
Molchalin ?
M o l c h a l i n
Yes.
F a m u s o v
What brings you here, at this
hour ? Do confess.
And, Sofia, you, too. Please
tell me why
You got up early today ? Don't
tell a lie.
How do you come to be together
now ?
S o f i a
He just came in.
M o l c h a l i n
I walked around, that is how.
F a m u s o v
Now tell me please, old bloke:
Cannot you choose a better
place to walk ?
And you, young lady, hardly
out of bed -
There is a man around! By your
side !
You read those silly books at
night
And that's the fruit of it, I
bet.
The French! With all their
fashion shops and streets,
Their books and writers and
artists,
They break our hearts, they
make our money fly,
I wonder why
God will not save us from
their needles, pins,
Their bonnets, hats and all
the other things.
S o f i a
I'm sorry, father, I'm feeling
ill at ease,
I'm so scared, I can hardy
breathe.
You were so quick to come. My
God!
I'm confused.
F a m u s o v
Well, thanks a lot !
I took you by surprise !
I scared and disturbed you!
Very nice !
My dear Sofia, I dare say,
I'm upset myself. All day
I have to run about, full of
care and bother.
Now one keeps pestering me now
another.
Could I expect the trouble of
being told a lie ?
S o f i a (through tears)
Whom by?
F a m u s o v
Well, I may be reproached that
I
Keep grumbling all the time
for nothing.
Now don't you cry.
I'll tell you something:
I've given you support and
care.
Your mother died. I took on
this Madame,
Madam Rosiet, your second
mere.
A granny with a heart of gold
I found for you,
So quick and wise, and of high
morals, too.
There is one thing that
doesn't do her credit though:
For extra half a thousand or
so,
She had the nerve to leave our
house . . .
But anyhow it is beyond her
powers.
Just look at me: I'm no
boaster,
I'm strong and fresh, although
my hair is grey,
I'm a widower, I'm free, I'm
my own master
And of monastic chastity, they
say.
L i z i e
May I ?
F a m u s o v
No, do shut up!
The wretched times! You don't
know what to open up !
I see nowadays
People grow wise before their
years,
The daughters do, so do the
old good men.
Who need the languages we
learn ?
We hire tutors, resident or
not,
That teach our daughters
everything:
To court
And give a sigh, to sing and
dance,
As if they wished to marry
them to clowns.
You, visitor? Do you want
anything ?
From a nowhere man in God
forsaken Tver
I made you an assessor and a
secretair.
Without me you would have
surely been
A nobody. You, man without
kith and kin !
S o f i a
I don't know why you should be
angry, father.
He's living here, in this
house. So what ?
He walked to one room and got
into another.
F a m u s o v
He got where he wanted, did he
not ?
Why is he here, uninvited?
S o f i a
I'll tell you. Well, it goes
like this:
When you were here, you and
Liz,
I heard your voice and was so
frightened
That I came running like a
shot.
F a m u s o v
She'll put the blame on me, it
seems.
I came out of time and got
them caught !
S o f i a
You caught me nodding, I had
dreams.
I'll tell you and you will
understand.
F a m u s o v
What dreams had you ?
S o f i a
Shall I tell you ?
F a m u s o v (sits down)
Yes, if you can.
S o f i a
Well . . . Listen . . . First
I see
A fragrant meadow and then me
Looking for some kind of
grass,
I don't remember which, alas.
Then comes a gentleman, one of
those men
That make at once an old good
friend.
A man so tactful, wise, as
well as
Shy, you know those poor
fellows.
F a m u s o v
Don't talk to me about the
poor.
A poor man is not a match for
you.
S o f i a
And then all vanishes: the
meadows and the sky - like magic !
We are in a room. It's dark.
Then, just imagine:
Down goes the floor and you
come up.
And now the door flies open
with a bang,
And in burst monstrous
creatures, like a gang.
They fall upon the man, they
tear us apart,
I reach for him: he seems so
dear to my heart,
You hold him back and take
away with you,
And this to hooting, jeering,
whistling - boo !
Then he starts shouting.
I woke up there . . . Someone
was chatting.
It was your voice, yes, it was
you.
So I rushed out to find that
you were two.
F a m u s o v
Too bad a dream it is indeed.
I see there's everything in
it:
The devil, love and flowers,
fright. Too bad !
Well, sir, what do you say to
that ?
M o l c h a l i n
I heard you voice . . .
F a m u s o v
It's really strange.
What's there in my voice? Did
they arrange
to hear my voice and come
around like a clock ?
Why did you come on hearing me
talk ?
M o l c h a l i n
The papers, sir.
F a m u s o v
The papers? Oh what an idea !
What made you care for them,
my dear ?
Why all this zest ?
(raises)
Now Sofia, I'll set your mind
at rest;
Dreams can be strange but I
should think
Reality is a more frightful
thing.
You looked for grass but in
the end
You found a friend.
Well, put that out of your
head,
Forget the miracles - they're
all wrong.
You'd better go now back to
bed. (To Molchalin) Show me your papers, come along.
M o l c h a l i n
I want to tell you, sir,
instead:
The papers are in such a mess
!
They will be null and void
unless
They're certified
And all put right.
F a m u s o v
I'm awfully afraid
They might pile up,
accumulate.
I know your kind. You'd keep
them all
Stuck up for days in a
pigeon-hole.
I'd rather have a paper
signed.
Once signed - it's out my mind
!
(He and Molchalin go out. He
makes way to Molchalin at the door)
Scene 5
Sofia and Lizzie.
L i z i e
The holiday is coming! Time
for fun !
To me the day is not a happy
one.
My eyes are dim, my heart is
blue.
The sin does not much worry
me, the rumours do.
S o f i a
I do not care for rumours. Let
them be !
Though father will keep crying
shame on me.
He always grumbles, scolds and
makes one feel unhappy.
You know what he can do now
after what happened.
L i z i e
He'll lock you up. That's what
he'll do.
I wish he locked up me with
you,
I'm afraid, he'll go as far as
firing us:
Molchalin, me and all the
others.
S o f i a
I'm thinking, happiness is so
wayward !
A worse thing happens, yet you
get away with it,
For once all worries seemed to
be away,
We were lost in music, unaware
of time of day,
It seems that fate was
guarding us: The time just flew.
No doubt, no alarm . . . But
trouble comes out of the blue.
L i z i e
That's it !
You never listen to my foolish
judgement.
I told you many times, and
I'll say it again
This love of yours is all in
vain.
You wouldn't find a better
profit. Listen, please:
Like all the Muscovites your
father is like this:
He wants a son-in-law with
ranks and stars,
Not all of them are rich,
alas.
He wishes he had money into
the bargain
To live in clover, give a
party now and again
Take colonel Skalozub, for
instance, he isn't bad:
A would be general and very
rich at that.
S o f i a
It's nice !
To hear him talk of ranks and
lines !
I'd rather take my own life
Than marry him and be his
wife.
L i z i e
He isn't bright. He merely
talks a lot.
Of all the men, civilian or
not,
There's Chatsky whom I really
regard
As most considerate,
intelligent and smart.
It's past and gone, Sofia,
hence
You shouldn't really take
offence.
S o f i a
What's that ? I must admit
He's extremely sensitive and
full of wit.
He can make fun like no one
else,
You should have heard the
jokes he tells !
L i z i e
Oh is that all ?
He wept when parting with you,
I recall.
I tried to comfort him and
asked him why he cried,
"There is a reason - he
replied -
For no one knows what I may
gain
Or lose when I am back again."
He seemed to know that in a
year or two . . .
S o f i a
Stop talking liberties, will
you ?
I may have acted
thoughtlessly, I know,
I do regret. But who was I
unfaithful to ?
Can anybody blame me for a
breach of faith? Well, no !
Chatsky and I grew up
together, that is true.
We were friends in childhood
days,
And then he left, and ever
since
He rarely visited our place,
He found our house dull, it
seems,
And then again he showed
affection, Pretending love, consideration.
He's witty, wise, a man of
eloquence,
And he is good at winning
friends,
But now he thinks he is too
clever . . .
He took to travelling, which
is not bad,
However, if he loved someone,
he'd never
Go on a lasting trip like
that.
L i z i e
What trip ? Is Chatsky
travelling far ?
They say, he took a treatment
at a spa,
It was a cure of idleness
among the cripple.
S o f i a
That's right. He's happy among
the queer people.
The one I love is of different
make,
Molchalin does his best for
other people's sake.
He's modest, shy, polite -
beyond compare !
Oh, what a night we spent
behind the doors !
Of space and time we were
unaware
What were we doing there ? L i
z i e
Well, God knows.
It's none of my affair.
S o f i a
He'd take my hand - his
manners most refined -
And with a gentle sigh he'd
press it to his side.
My hand in his, he'd feast his
eyes on me,
I never knew a person as
urbane as he.
You're laughing ? Why ? I see
no reason
To laugh like that. Say, are
you teasing ?
L i z i e
I just recall that gentleman
of
France
That used to live for some
time at your aunt's.
He left. She tried to hide her
grief but failed
For she forgot to dye her
hair, and it greyed.
(continues laughing)
S o f i a (regretfully)
People will gossip, upon my
word !
L i z i e
I'm sorry, and I swear to God,
I only tried to laugh away
your grief,
I thought that it might bring
you some relief.
Scene 6
Sofia, Lizzie, Servant,
followed by Chatsky.
F o o t m a n
Alexander Andreyevich Chatsky.
(goes out)
Sofia, Lizzie, Chatsky.
C h a t s k y
It's hardly morning: here I'm
down on my knees.
(kisses her hand with passion)
You didn't expect me, did you
? Give me a kiss.
Are you really glad to see me
? Look into my eyes !
For you it's only a surprise.
What a reception ! God !
It seems like just the other
day,
It seems like yesterday,
We passed the time till we got
bored.
No sign of love ! You look so
nice, you do !
You'll never know what I went
through,
I can't get over it. Just
think :
I covered seven hundred miles
at just one bound,
Two days and nights I didn't
sleep a wink,
Just snow and wind, and not a
soul around,
I'd lose my way and hit the
ground,
And the result is your reward.
S o f i a
No, Chatsky, it is nice to see
you around.
C h a t s k y
You're glad to see me ? Very
good !
Though I must say,
You do not look that way.
It seems, I should have spared
the horses
For the result isn't worth the
losses.
L i z i e
No, sir, you must not think so
For just a little while ago
We were talking about you.
Ma'me, do confirm, it's is
true.
S o f i a
Well, honestly, I don't
deserve reproach,
You can't reproach me now or
ever
For when I see someone
approach
The house - a friend, a
stranger or whoever,
I run to ask him whether he
Has seen you, on a coach, go
by.
C h a t s k y
That I will not deny.
Blessed are the credulous for
they are carefree.
Good gracious ! Am I with you
again ?
In Moscow ? You have changed!
You're not the same.
Gone is the time ! Gone are
the innocent years !
Remember ? We would run about
pushing chairs,
We'd disappear then appear
again,
Your father and Madame playing
a table game,
Into a hideaway we would then
sneak - This very corner I suppose it was -
We would be startled by every
little creak . . .
S o f i a
It's childish.
C h a t s k y
Yes, of course.
And now at seventeen you're in
the bloom of youth,
Inimitable charm - well, I
declare!
You know that I'm telling you
the truth,
That's why you're so modest-
you don't care
What people think of you. Now
tell me straight:
Are you in love ? Don't be
embarrassed nor hesitate.
S o f i a
Your curious look, your
questions would embarrass anyone.
C h a t s k y
For heaven's sake ! You're the
only one
That can amaze me. Here in
Moscow there is nothing new.
There was a party yesterday,
tomorrow there'll be two.
Someone has managed to get
married
Another hasn't and is worried.
Nothing has changed. Good
gracious !
The same old poems, the same
old conversations.
S o f i a
Now that you have seen the
world
It's Moscow you're up to
scold.
Well, where is a better place
?
C h a t s k y
A place where we don't find
ourselves.
Well, how's your father ? Is
the old chap
Still loyal, heart and soul,
to the English Club ?
How's your uncle ? Is his
number up ?
This man . . . a Turk. a Greek
. . .or something of the kind
The thin-legged one. His name
has slipped my mind.
You'd see him anywhere at all
-
The sitting-room, the kitchen
and the hall.
How are those three idle
gentlemen ?
Are they in search of marriage
bonds again ?
With heaps of relatives, some
day, they hope
They'll be related with the
whole of Europe.
And how's our dearest one ? Do
you recall his forehead ?
With "Stage and Masquerade"
inscribed on it ?
He has his house painted
green.
He's fat while all his
actresses are thin.
Once during a ball - remember
? - we discovered
A man that, hidden from the
crowd,
Was making sounds of a
nightingale -
A summer bird in winter did so
well !
There's a relative of yours, a
sickly man,
In the science board he got an
occupation,
An enemy of books, he now
demands a ban
On literacy and education.
And all these people I'm fated
now to see,
I'll soon be sick and tired of
living here.
Though after travelling East
and West
We're find the smoke of
Homeland best.
S o f i a
I'd bring my aunt and you
together, so
That you might count everyone
you know.
C h a t s k y
Your auntie, is she still a
virgin ? Goddess Athene ?
And still the fraulein of
czarina Catherine ?
She had her house full of dogs
and girls to breed.
Talking of breeding, why
should people need
To hire crowds of tutors? And
one tries
To have them at the lowest
price !
I mean, with science all is
fine,
But here in Russia, under the
threat of a fine
We must acknowledge any
creature
To be a History or a Science
teacher.
Do you remember our own mentor
?
The cap, the gown that he wore
?
He needed some sign of
tuition,
He filled our humble minds
with awe,
And we were open to
conviction,
From early years we would
believe:
Without the Germans we
couldn't live.
And Guilloment, the French,
the giddy man,
Has he got married ?
S o f i a
He hasn't anyone.
C h a t s k y
Well, he could marry some nice
duchess.
Pulkheria Andreyevna he
matches.
S o f i a
A ballet dancer ? No.
C h a t s k y
Yes, he's grand.
One has to have a rank and own
some land,
Though Guiloment - oh, by the
way,
Is there still a tendency to
day
At meetings, public gathering,
on stage
To mix the Nizhny Novgorod
dialect with French ?
S o f i a
A language mixture ?
C h a t s k y
Yes, at least of two.
S o f i a
To mix them into one the way
you do ?
C h a t s k y
It sounds natural at least.
My word ! I'm extraordinarily
pleased
To see you. Thus
I'm talkative. Taking my
chance.
For this Molchalin you have
time !
Where is he ? I suppose that
I'm
No sillier than he. He still
keeps
A seal of silence on his lips.
Or doesn't he ? He used to
have a book
Where he would write
All latest songs that caught
his sight.
He will get on in life anyway
For silent men are highly
praised today.
S o f i a (to her side)
You viper !
(aloud and with ease)
May I ask ?
Have you by any chance, in
sorrow or in joy,
Talked favourably of any one
of us ?
Not now. Perhaps, when you
were a boy ?
C h a t s k y
When all is fragile ? Soft and
immature ?
Why go that far ? Here is a
good deed for you:
The jingling of the bell still
in my mind,
I crossed the snowy desert
through the day and night.
I hurried here at a neck break
pace
To find you wearing an austere
face.
Your coolness, your restraint
are tearing me apart,
The way you look:
The face of a holy praying
girl . . .
And yet I love you with all my
heart.
(a minute of silence)
Now listen, don't I treat you
well ?
I never mind a queer man's
trick,
I have a laugh and then forget
it quick.
And if it were your desire
That I should go into the
fire,
I'd do it without thinking
twice.
S o f i a
It will be nice
If you get burnt,
And if you don't ?
Scene 8
Sofia, Lizzie, Chatsky,
Famusov.
F a m u s o v
There's another one !
S o f i a
A dream of prophecy.
(goes out)
F a m u s o v
(in a low voice, following her
with his eyes)
Now, damn the dream !
Scene 9
Famusov, Chatsky (looks at the
door through which Sofia left)
F a m u s o v Oh what a trick
you've played ! You see,
For three long years we
haven't heard from you,
And now you're here, out of
the blue.
(they embrace)
Hallo, my friend, come, take
your seat,
Let's have a chat a little
bit.
You must have got a lot to
say,
Tell us your stories without
delay.
(both sit down)
C h a t s k y
(absent-mindedly)
Well, Sofia Pavlovna has grown
so pretty.
F a m u s o v
It is a pity
That all you see is a pretty
face.
She must have dropped a casual
phrase
Inspiring you with hopes,
enchanting you . . .
C h a t s k y
I rarely nourish hopes. I
hardly ever do.
F a m u s o v
"A dream of prophecy" the
words fell on my ear.
You're thinking of . . .
C h a t s k y
Me ? I have no idea.
F a m u s o v
What did she dream of ? What
is it ?
C h a t s k y
I don't interpret dreams.
F a m u s o v
No ! Don't believe her ! Not a
bit !
C h a t s k y
I do believe my eyes. Upon my
word !
She is like no one in the
world,
A beauty from a fairy tale !
F a m u s o v
Stop harping on it ! Tell us
in detail,
Where have you been ? You
travelled many years.
Where are you from ?
C h a t s k y
No time for that.
I travelled less
Than I had planned.
(raises quickly)
Excuse me, but I hurried here
to see you,
I haven't been at home, so I
must say good-bye.
I'll come again in an hour's
time, I'm sorry,
Though you will be the first
to hear my story. (in the doorway) She's charming !
(goes out)
Scene 10
Famusov (alone)
Which of the two it is, I
wonder ?
"A dream of prophecy" - she
said.
She said it openly, I don't
know what she meant.
It's all my fault. Oh what a
blunder !
Molchalin made me doubt then.
And now I
Have fallen out of the pan
into the fire.
One is a pauper, a dandy is
the other;
Known as a wasteful man,
mischievous and haughty.
Oh, what a lot to be the
father
Of a grown-up daughter !
(goes out)
End of Act I
A C T II
Scene 1
Famusov, Footman.
F a m u s o v
Petrushka, you have always new
clothes on.
Look at yourself! Your sleeve
is torn.
Now, take the calendar and try
to make it best.
Read it expressively, don't
mumble like obsessed !
No, wait, just take the pad
and write: The next week column. Tuesday night -
A trout party. What a
temptation ! -
It's Praskovya Fyodorovna's
invitation.
Why is the world so strange ?
- I ask myself the question.
And when I do, it makes my
mind just reel:
A fast is followed by a hearty
meal,
And then three days of
indigestion.
Write, on that same day , no,
Thursday morning
There is a burial ceremony.
The human race, they all
forget
That some day all of them
shall get
Into the box, so small and
tight !
The one who'll leave blessed
memory behind,
A noble chamberlain the late
man was,
He had the key and let his son
have one.
He took a wealthy woman, being
a wealthy man
And married off his children,
I suppose,
People are mourning now that
he has passed away
Kuzma Petrovich! May he rest
with peace!
There are bigwigs in Moscow, I
should say!
Write down: Thursday, on top
of this,
Or perhaps on Friday, or on
Saturday,
I must attend a christening
day.
The widow hasn't given birth
as yet
Though she may, any day, as I
expect.
Scene 2
Famusov, Footman, Chatsky.
F a m u s o v
Oh, Alexander Andreyevitch! ,
come, sit down !
C h a t s k y
I see you are engaged.
F a m u s o v
(to the footman)
You go.
(The footman goes out)
It's next week's plan that
we're putting down,
Something may slip my mind,
you know.
C h a t s k y
I see, you do not look quite
happy,
Is it inopportunely that I
arrived ?
Or maybe something wrong has
happened
To Sofia Pavlovna? Is she all
right ?
F a m u s o v
Oh, what a thing to puzzle
brains about !
I'm sad ! Well, do you expect
an aged man like me
To cry for joy and dance
around ?
C h a t s k y
Nobody wants you to, you see,
I just inquired of you
If Sofia Pavlovna was feeling
well.
F a m u s o v
Pah ! Got forgive me ! Hell !
A thousand times you told me
that !
Now Sofia Pavlovna is feeling
bad,
Now she's the prettiest one on
earth.
Are you in love with her ? Oh
yes !
You want to marry her, you do.
C h a t s k y
It's my affair.
F a m u s o v
You have to reckon with me,
too.
I am related to her, am I not
?
And note:
I'm a father. At least they've
always called me so.
C h a t s k y
If I propose to her, will you
say no ?
F a m u s o v
Well, first, I should say
this:
You don't be reckless. Think
of your estate,
And what is most important:
take up service.
C h a t s k y
I'd love to serve. Servility
is what I hate.
F a m u s o v
That's it !
You're all puffed up with
pride and aspiration ! You'd better ask me what your
fathers did
And learn from our generation.
People like us or late Maxim
Petrovich,
My uncle, he would drive on a
tandem coach,
A hundred men on hand, he ate
From a gold and from a silver
plate.
He had awards, lived like a
lord,
And he attended at the highest
court.
Those were the days ! So much
unlike the present !
He was in service in
Catherine's days. And
Everybody felt important then,
Your bow and scrape they would
disdain.
A courtier was even better
off,
He'd eat and drink what others
didn't dream of.
My uncle, with his haughty
temper, serious look,
Compared with him, what is a
count or a duke ?
To please superiors he was
happy,
He'd creep and crawl like a
snake.
Once at a reception it so
happened
That he fell down and nearly
broke his neck.
The old man groaned in a husky
voice
Which won him an imperial
smile. Now !
Everybody laughed. What did he
do ? He rose
And straightened up to make a
bow.
Then suddenly he flopped. This
time with aim,
Again a laughter. And a fall
again.
Well, what do you think of it
? I think it's nice.
He hurt himself but he was
quick to rise.
And ever since, like no one
else,
In the royal house he was a
welcome guest.
Maxim Petrovich ! A man of
high esteem!
Maxim Petrovich! The life's
mischievous pranks !
Who fixes pensions and gives
people ranks ?
Maxim Petrovich ! Not one of
you is a match for him !
C h a t s k y
Exactly ! You may sigh
complaining
That our society's degrading.
But if I look comparing the
present
With the glorious past, to me
it's evident:
Fresh is the story, yet it is
doubtful to me
For glorified and famed was he
Who showed the greatest zeal
in bending the knee,
Who fought and won at peace,
not in a war,
Hitting his forehead at the
floor.
And those in need were in the
gutter,
Those at the top were praised
and flattered.
It was the age of timidness
and fright
Under the mask of loyalty to
tsarist might.
I do not mean your dear uncle,
About him I hate to wrangle.
But who would want in our
days,
To sacrifice his neck just for
the sake
Of fun, or just to make
The crowd laugh, as in that
case ?
It seems to me, some aged man,
On seeing that courageous
jump,
Must have confessed that, to
his shame,
He was unable to do the same.
Although there're rascals
everywhere
To be a laughing stock they do
not dare.
And hence no favour of the
sovereigns they expect.
F a m u s o v
My Lord ! Good heavens ! He is
a suspect !
C h a t s k y
To-day the world is different,
really.
F a m u s o v
He's dangerous.
C h a t s k y
One can breathe freely.
Nobody wants to join the
foolish crowd.
F a m u s o v
He's talking like a book !
What is he talking about ?
C h a t s k y
They gather at the patron's
house to gape and yawn,
To sit in silence, dine and
dance a waltz,
To show their courteously, sit
up till dawn.
F a m u s o v
Now. To preach liberties,
that's what he wants.
C h a t s k y
Some travel. Others live in a
country-house.
F a m u s o v
He doesn't recognize the
government of ours.
C h a t s k y
Well, he who serves a noble
cause ...
F a m u s o v
For such a gentleman I'd close
all doors
And keep them miles away from
our city.
C h a t s k y
I'll give you rest. Just out
of pity . . .
F a m
I cannot bear it. I'm vexed,
impatient.
C h a t s k y
I have abused your generation;
I give you my authority:
You may cut off part of my
commentary
Or, if you want , you may
apply
It to the present time - I
shall not cry. F a m u s o v
I've had enough! For you I'll
shut the door,
I shall not tolerate all this
perversion any more ! C h a t s k y
I've had my say.
F a m u s o v
All right. I have my ears
shut.
C h a t s k y
Why should you ? I mean no
insult.
F a m u s o v (pattering)
These idlers! Roam around the
world,
And on return they order us
about.
C h a t s k y
I've finished now . . .
F a m u s o v
Have mercy, my patience's
running out.
C h a t s k y
I don't feel like disputing
things.
F a m u s o v
You might as well repent of
sins.
Scene 3
E n t e r F o o t m a n
Colonel Skalozub.
F a m u s o v (hears and sees
nothing)
You will be put to trial,
mind.
C h a t s k y
Somebody wants to see you. A
man of note.
F a m u s o v
I don't hear anything. He must
be tried !
C h a t s k y
There's a man with a report.
F a m u s o v
I am not listening. He must be
tried, tried, tried !
C h a t s k y
There's a man behind.
F a m u s o v (he turns round)
What's that ? A mutiny ? I
should expect so !
F o t m a n
Colonel Skalozub. He's here I
mean.
F a m u s o v (stands up)
You stupid asses! I told you a
hundred times or more !
Do let him in ! Invite him !
Tell him I'm in !
Tell him I'm glad to see him.
Go! be quick !
(The footman goes out)
He's coming now, sir. No more
of you cheek.
He's a man of high respect,
Has grabbed a heap of orders,
I should say,
He has a rank, as high as you
would not expect,
He may be a general any day.
So please be modest when he's
there.
Too bad, Alexander Andreyich,
dear.
He often comes to see me - I
don't care,
You know, I welcome anybody
here.
In Moscow tongues are wagging.
Well, for instance,
They say, he wants to marry
Sofia. Its nonsense !
At heart he may be overjoyed
enough,
But I do not intend to marry
off
My daughter now, tomorrow or
today,
She's too young. Though it's
God's will anyway.
Don't argue in his presence,
please,
And leave off joking, don't be
a tease.
Where is he ? I presume,
He's waiting there in my room.
( hurries away)
Scene 4
C h a t s k y
He's so fussy. There's so much
vim
And Sofia? Can she be engaged
to him?
They've been avoiding me as if
I were a stranger.
Oh, how I wish that she were
here, my angel.
Who is this colonel whom he is
so infatuated with?
And maybe Famusov is not the
only one who is?
Oh, he who goes for three long
years away
A fare well to love is doomed
to say.
Scene 5
Chatsky, Famusov, Skalozub.
F a m u s o v
Sergey Sergeyich ! You're
welcome, dear.
You must be cold. Come here,
get warm,
Please join us, it is warmer
here;
We'll open up the vent. Just
make yourself at home.
S k a l o z u b (in a low
voice)
Don't do it. Let me do it,
please.
An officer of honour, I'm
feeling ill at ease.
F a m u s o v
Sergey Srgeyevich, my dear,
Let me do something for a
friend;
Your hat, your sword, just put
them here,
You may stretch out on this
bed.
S k a l o z u b
It doesn't matter where I sit.
(all sit down, Chatsky at a
distance)
F a m u s o v
My dear friend, before it
slips my mind
I'll tell you: we are
relatives of a kind.
Not close, and no inheritance
behind.
I didn't know it, nor did you,
I learned it from your cousin,
dear,
Nastasya Nikolaeyevna - is she
related to you, too ?
S k a l o z u b
I'm sorry, I have no idea,
We never served together, for
all I know.
F a m u s o v
Sergey Sergeyich ! You don't
say so !
Oh no! There's nothing I won't
do for relatives,
They won't escape me by any
means.
I have no outsiders working
with me,
I take on children from my
family tree.
Exceptions? Well, Molchalin is
the only one,
He's business-like, that's why
I took him on.
Now when it comes to offering
a vacancy or giving an award.
It's natural that for my
relatives I should put in a word.
Your cousin happened once to
mention
That he had gained a lot from
your protection.
S k a l o z u b
In 1813 we cut our teeth,
First in the 13-th regiment,
then in the 45-th.
F a m u s o v
One should be proud of a son
like you.
You have an order, haven't you
?
S k a l o z u b
It's for the August fight. We
were in a trench,
He got one on a band, I got
this for a change.
F a m u s o v
He's amiable, smart, as for as
I can see.
A brilliant man your cousin
seems to be.
S k a l o z u b
He follows some new rules he
has acquired;
He was to get promotion but
suddenly retired,
He took to reading in his
country-house and . . .
F a m u s o v
The youth! They read, then all
of a sudden, bump, the end.
You're doing well, you can't
be wrong,
You're a colonel though you
haven't served too long. S k a l o z u b
I'm a lucky man, you see ?
There's right now a vacancy.
Some seniors fall in battle,
Others are cast out of saddle.
F a m u s o v
Yes, God gives everyone his
due.
S k a l o z u b
Some people get on better that
I do;
In the fifteenth division
there's a man,
The brigadier general, to
mention only one.
F a m u s o v
You have got everything,
haven't you ?
S k a l o z u b
I can't complain. Though it's
two years, my friend,
That I have strived for the
regiment.
F a m u s o v
There's no occasion for regret
For I should say, in some
respect Your rivals you have outdone.
S k a l o z u b
No, in my corps I'm not the
oldest one,
I've been in service now for
years,
I know there are so many ways
To be promoted. All I say:
I wish I'd be a general some
day.
F a m u s o v
I share your judgement, and I
wish you health,
I also wish your generalship
wealth.
And then . . . why should you
put it off ? -
It's time to think of your
better half.
S k a l o z u b
To marry? I don't care if I
do.
F a m u s o v
People have daughters,
sisters, nieces, too;
There're many marriageable
women here.
Indeed, they multiply with
every passing year.
Of all the capitals, big or
small,
Moscow is surely best of all.
S k a l o z u b
A city of tremendous size and
space.
F a m u s o v
Good manners, elegance and
grace;
Our life is governed by the
laws;
We judge the children by the
parents,
"The father makes the son" -
the saying goes.
He may be bad but if he
inherits
Two thousand hands, then
people say:
"He makes a perfect fiancй."
And if a man is not of noble
birth,
However smart and full of
self-respect,
No blessing from the family he
should expect.
Or take the bread-and-salt
reception,
I welcome all without
expectation,
My doors are open to all. Yes.
Especially to foreign guests.
No matter, honest or
dishonest, a gentleman or lady,
I always keep my dinner ready.
Look at the people of our
city,
They have an imprint of
peculiarity.
Look at our youngsters look at
these
Boys - our sonnies and grand
sonnies,
We scold them and we think
them green,
While they can teach their
grannies at fifteen.
As for the elders their word
is law,
Once they start talking, they
let it go,
They always talk with a
knowing air,
To contradict them you don't
dare,
They're old gentry, they make
no bones
About talking on the
government's wrongs.
If someone overheard them,
they'd be done for.
Not that they put forward new
ideas, no !
It's mere finding fault. That
is the thing !
Making a noise about nothing.
They carry their arguments too
far,
Retired chancellors they think
they are.
I'll tell you what: the time
has not yet come, - Some day quite indispensable
they may become.
As for the ladies they are
hard to win.
Don't try to judge them, They
will judge everything.
When they come out like one at
a table game,
Have patience! I have myself
been married. Wait:
They will command an army on
the front, they claim,
And will attend the senate to
debate.
Irina Vlasyevna! Lukerya
Alexevna!
Tatyana Yuryevna! Pulkheria
Andryevna !
And if you saw their
daughters, you would blush with shame.
His majesty the king of
Prussia here once came,
It wasn't girls and their
pretty faces that attracted him,
They were well bread and had
good manners in his esteem.
They can wear a veil and paint
the face,
They never say a word without
a grimace,
They sing a French romance
Forcing the highest notes,
With military men they take a
chance
Because they say are patriots.
Of all the capitals, big or
small,
Moscow is surely best of all.
S k a l o z u b
As far as I can judge,
To a large extent the fire
made it such.
F a m u s o v
Don't talk about the fire.
Don't tease.
So much has changed ever
since:
The roads, the houses, the
pavements and all . . .
C h a t s k y
The houses are new, the
prejudices are old.
You should be pleased because
a prejudice never dies,
It will survive the years, the
fashions and the fires.
F a m u s o v (to Chatsky)
Ah you! Just keep your mouth
shut,
Do me a favour, it isn't hard.
(to Skalozub)
Well, let me introduce to you
this gentleman:
The son of Chatsky, of the
late friend of mine.
He doesn't serve, though if he
did, he would succeed.
It is a pity, I regret, for he
is bright.
How well can he translate and
write!
I can't help feeling sorry for
this man.
C h a t s k y
Can't you feel sorry for some
other one ?
I am annoyed to hear all your
praise.
F a m u s o v
Well, anybody would condemn
you in my place.
C h a t s k y
I wonder who the judges are !
With age they show hostility
to freedom,
They read the press that dates
as far
Back as the Crimean war. They
call it wisdom.
They're quick to criticize and
curse
And always sing the same old
song,
They never think they can be
wrong.
The older these men are the
worse.
Where are those fathers of the
nation,
Good models for our
generation,
The ones that roll in looted
money
With influential friends and
relatives on hand?
The ones that feast away their
lives of honey
And dwell in houses
magnificent and grand?
The houses in which the foul
features of the past
Will never be revived by all
this foreign caste.
The Moscow they will keep your
mouth shut
By sending you a dinner party
invitation card.
Or, maybe,
It is the man to whom you used
to take me
For a bow when I was a baby?
The leader of outstanding
rascals, he
Had a team of loyal servants
That during fight-and-drinking
rounds
Had saved his life and honour,
but then once
He suddenly exchanged them for
three hounds.
And then there is the man, as
good as all the others,
He gathered children for his
ballet muse
By tearing them away from
their mothers.
He set his mind on Zephyrs and
Amours
And let the whole of Moscow
admire their beauty,
And when it came to setting
his accounts
He didn't bother about
credits. "Out of sense of duty"
All his Amours and Zephyrs he
sold out.
Those are the men that now
have grown old and grey,
The men enjoying high respect
and estimation.
"They are indeed our fair
judges" - you will say.
And if there is a man among
the younger generation
That never strives for vacancy
nor seeks an occupation
Who sets his mind on science
and shows a thirst for knowledge
Or good himself fills him with
inspiration
To creativity in art,
They scream: "Disaster! Fire!"
and acknowledge
The man to be a dreamer and
dangerous at that.
The coat! The coat! They wear
it still,
So beautifully made, it used
to hide
Their timidness and their
flippant mind.
And that's the road that we
should take at will.
The wives and daughters, too,
affect the coat
And so did I until a while
ago.
I'm not an infant now, you
know,
On things like that I shall no
longer dote.
When some Guard's officers one
day
Were on a short time visit
here
The women shouted: "Hurrah!"
And threw their bonnets into
the air.
F a m u s o v (to himself)
He'll let me down, I'm sure.
(in a loud voice)
Sergey Sergeyich, I shall go,
There in my room for you I'll
wait.
(goes out)
Scene 6
Chatsky, Skalozub.
S k a l o z u b
I really appreciate
The way you touched upon
The fact that Muscovites are
fond
Of our Guards and Guardsmen,
our perfect pets,
Their gold embroidery, the cut
of coats and shirts.
Our First Army has never
lagged behind;
The waists are narrow. The
style is fine,
Our officers are spick and
span,
They can speak French . . .
Some of them can.
Scene 7
Chatsky, Skalozub, Sofia,
Lizzie.
S o f i a (runs to the window)
My God! He's fallen down !
He's dead !
(faints)
C h a t s k y
Who's that ?
S k a l o z u b
Who is in trouble ?
C h a t s k y
She so scared !
S k a l o z u b
Who on earth is it?
C h a t s k y
He's hurt. Is he in good shape
?
S k a l o z u b
Is it our old boy who's got
into a scrape ?
L i z i e (trying to help the
lady)
"No flying from fate" - the
saying goes.
As our Molchalin was mounting
the horse
It reared suddenly as if it
were scared,
And he fell down bump on his
head.
S k a l o z u b
Poor rider! Must have pulled
the reins too tight.
Did he fall down on his breast
or on his side ?
( goes out)
Scene 8
The same people except
Skalozub.
C h a t s k y
How can we help her? Tell me,
Liz.
L i z i e
There's water over there . . .
(Chatsky runs to bring water.
All speak in a low voice until Sofia regains
consciousness)
Pour out a glass!
C h a t s k y
Well, there it is,
Let loose the lacing, give her
air,
Now rub the temples with the
vinegar,
Now sprinkle water. See? It
really
Helps. She's breathing freely.
Have you a fan?
L i z i e
Yes, here you are.
C h a t s k y
Look out!
Molchalin has come round !
L i z i e
It's idleness that torments
her.
Well, isn't it a pity, sir ?
She cannot bear to see a man
Dash to the ground, like we
can.
C h a t s k y
Go on with sprinkling.
There !
S o f i a ( with a deep sigh)
Who's speaking ?
It's like a dream.
(speaks fast in a loud voice
now)
Where is he? What has happened
to him ?
C h a t s k y
Whatever happened, never mind
!
He nearly killed you. It
serves him right.
S o f i a
You're killing me with
coolness, you !
I cannot bear the sight of you
!
C h a t s k y
Do you expect me to shed tears
?
S o f i a
Go there and help him, if you
please.
C h a t s k y
To leave you on your own here
?
S o f i a
I just don't need you. Do you
hear ?
It's true: about others you
are not worried.
If your own dad were killed,
you wouldn't care.
(to Lizzie)
Let's go.
L i z i e (taking her a little
aside)
No, wait. Just don't get
flurried.
He's safe and sound. Look out
there!
(Sofia looks out into the
window)
C h a t s k y
The way she took it ! Fright.
Confusion. Faint.
One only feels that way, I
understand.
About the loss of a dearest
friend.
S o f i a
They're coming here. He cannot
raise his hand.
C h a t s k y
I wish I had got killed with
him.
S o f i a
Just keep your wishes to
yourself, if you have any.
Scene 9
Sofia, Lizzie, Chatsky,
Skalozub, Molchalin (with his bad arm bandaged)
S k a l o z u b
He's alive again.
He got away with a little
pain.
It was a false alarm, just a
mistake.
M o l c h a l i n
I frightened you. Forgive me
for God's sake.
S k a l o z u b
I didn't know you would be
frightened.
As you dashed in we were
startled,
You fainted suddenly. And now
it's clear,
There was no reason to feel
fear.
S o f i a (looking aside)
Although I know that all is
safe
I'm still shaking in my shoes.
C h a t s k y (to himself)
It seems, Molchalin is
excused.
S o f i a
I never fear for myself.
Say, when the coach gets
overturned
I wait until they put it
right,
Set it in order. And on I
ride.
I fear for others, for myself
I don't.
It doesn't care whom I fear
for.
C h a t s k y (to himself)
She's making her apology
For having pitied somebody.
S k a l o z u b
Now let me tell you something
about a dame,
A certain countess, Lasova by
name.
She rides a horse. A widow,
she prefers
To ride without her admirers.
She was so hardly hurt the
other day,
The jockey must have turned
his eyes away.
A clumsy woman, now she's lost
a rib. So she's looking for a man. In short,
She needs a husband for
support.
S o f i a
Andrey Andreyich, take my tip
!
You're a generous man. When
people are in need,
You're a friend indeed.
C h a t s k y
I've made my every effort now,
and I've
Succeeded in bringing you back
to life.
I don't know though
Whom I have done it for.
(takes his hat and leaves)
Scene 10
The same people except
Chatsky.
S o f i a
We have a gathering tonight.
Will you join us ?
S k a l o z u b What time ?
S o f i a
Come early, there'll be
friends,
To piano music we shall dance.
We're in mourning. So for a
ball there's no chance.
S k a l o z u b
I'm engaged. Yet I will come
tonight.
I must be off.
S o f i a
Good bye.
S k a l o z u b ( shaking
Molchalin's hands)
I'm your man.
(goes out)
Scene 11
Sofia, Lizzie, Molchalin.
S o f i a
Molchalin, I have almost lost
my mind.
Don't risk your life. Be
careful if you can.
You know how dear you are to
me.
Now tell me, please, how is
your arm ?
Shall I give you any kind of
remedy ?
Or call a doctor? It will do
no harm.
M o l c h a l i n
I've dressed it and it doesn't
ache.
L i z i e
I bet, it's nonsense, just a
fake;
For dressing there isn't any
need,
And you will not avoid
publicity
For Chatsky will make fun of
it,
And Skalozub will spread it
through the city.
He'll tell his story carrying
it too far,
He's fond of making jokes. All
people are.
S o f i a
Which of the two I care for ?
It's up to me - I can say
"yes" or "no.
Molchalin, I restrained my
feeling,
When I came in my mind was
reeling,
I couldn't breathe when they
were there,
To look at you I didn't dare.
M o l c h a l i n - No, Sofia
Pavlovna, you're too blunt.
I wish I could be restraint, I
can't.
I nearly jumped out of the
window then,
And I don't care about any one
of them,
Let people grin or scold me if
they want.
M o l c h a l i n
Well, if you hold you tongue,
they won't.
S o f i a
Will you be challenged to a
duel? I hope not.
M o l c h a l i n
The vicious tongues, they are
more frightful than a pistol shot.
L i z i e
They're sitting there, I
presume.
You'd better rush into the
room
With a cheerful look, a happy
face,
Tell them the words they want
to hear,
They will believe words of
praise.
As to Alexander Andreyich he
Will be just happy to converse
With you about the bygone
years.
Just give a smile and he will
do
Anything under the sun for
you.
M o l c h a l i n
I don't advise you anything.
(kisses her hand)
S o f i a
I'll do it against my will.
Although
I cannot feign pretence, I
think.
What did God bring this
Chatsky here for ?
(goes out)
Scene 12
Lizzie, Molchalin.
M o l c h a l i n
You're such a happy creature,
you !
L i z i e
Leave me alone. Without me
you're two
M o l c h a l i n
You're such a beauty !
I love you so !
L i z i e
And Sofia, too ?
M o l c h a l i n
I love her out of duty,
I love you . . .
( wants to embrace her)
L i z i e
Out of boredom. Be off with
you !
M o l c h a l i n
I have three things for you:
here is
A toilet set, it's got two
mirrors,
One outside and one inside.
Nice work.
There's carving, gilt. Just
have a look.
This little thing with a beads
ornament. Not bad.
Nice little scissors an a
needle pad.
There's pomade, and here is
another set:
Two bottles of perfume:
jasmine and mignonette.
L i z i e
You know in things I take no
interest.
You'd better tell me why
You're so dissolute with me
while with the mistress
You're always modest, shy ?
M o l c h a l i n
I'm not well. My arm is
dressed, you see ?
At dinner time, when we're
two,
I shall confine the truth to
you.
(goes out through the side
door)
Scene 13
Lizzie, Sofia.
S o f i a
There's no one in the father's
room. Too bad !
I'll miss the dinner. I'm not
well today.
Go to Molchalin, tell him that
I want to see him right away.
( goes to her room.)
Scene 14
Lizzie.
L i z i e
So strange these people seem
to be !
She craves for him, he craves
for me,
And I'm . . . the only one
who's scared of love,
Barman Petrusha, my sweetest
dove.
End of Act II
A C T III
Scene 1
Chatsky then Sofia.
C h a t s k y
I'll wait till she confides to
me.
Whom does she care for ?
Molchalin! Skalozub! Who is it ?
Molchalin used to be so
stupid,
A miserable creature, it was
plain to see.
He hasn't grown any wiser. And
the other one
Is rough and hoarse, a husky
man.
A constellation of mazurkas
and manoeuvres. Love
Is doomed to play the blind
man's bluff.
And I . . .
(enter Sofia)
Oh, are you here? I'm very
glad.
I wished it so.
S o f i a (to herself)
It is too bad.
C h a t s k y
It isn't me you were looking
for, is it ?
S o f i a
I didn't look for you.
C h a t s k y
Maybe, it isn't fit
That I should ask you. Tell
me, be so kind,
Whom do you love ?
S o f i a
Good heavens! All mankind.
C h a t s k y
And whom do you prefer ?
S o f i a
Well, there are relatives . .
.
C h a t s k y
You love me most of all!
S o f i a
Some of them, that is.
C h a t s k y
What do I hope for, when all
is done ?
I'm prepared to kill myself
while she's having fun.
S o f i a
Shall I be frank with you ?
It's not polite to laugh at
everyone.
You always have a ready tongue
When people don't behave the
way you do.
And you . . .
C h a t s k y
I'm a funny man, you mean to
say ?
S o f i a
You're menacing. You look and
talk that way.
You have a lot of other
negatives like that,
Self criticism wouldn't do you
bad.
C h a t s k y
I'm queer! All men are queer
as rule.
He isn't queer who's like a
fool.
Molchalin, for example . . .
S o f i a
Well, it isn't new to me;
You make no bones about
pouring out your acidity.
I hate to bother you. I'll
leave.
C h a t s k y (holding her
back)
Don't go.
(To his side)
For once I'll make believe.
(in a loud voice)
Let's drop it. Arguments aside
!
I'm sorry for Molchalin for I
wasn't right;
He may be different from what
he used to be,
Such changes do occur, I will
agree,
Changes in minds and morals,
governments and rules,
There are important people
that were known to be fools,
I'm afraid to mention them but
you'll agree:
Some weren't successful in the
army, some in poetry
And others - everybody says -
Have grown much too clever in
recent years.
Molchalin may be bright and
bold, it's true,
But has he got emotions,
passions
To think the world without you
To be just vanity and ashes ?
And is he sensitive enough
To have his heart-beat speeded
up by love ?
So that whatever he might
think and do
Would be entirely for you ?
That's what I feel, but words
just fail me.
I'm overwhelmed, I'm in
despair,
It's such a feeling that I
couldn't wish an enemy.
And he? Just hangs his head
and doesn't seem to care,
He's timid. All such men are
quiet,
He has a mystery of some kind.
Good knows what is it you've
inspired
In him. Something he never had
in mind.
Of all the merits, quite a few
He has inherited from you.
It isn't he who's sinful, it
is you.
No, no, he may be wise and
clever, too.
Is he a match for you? - that
is the question.
As someone you grew up
together with
A friend of yours, your
nearest relation,
I want you to dispel my
doubts, please,
So that I take the loss with
ease.
I shall take care not to lose
my mind,
I'll go away to fall in
reverie
And never think of love. Yet I
shall find
A way to having fun and making
merry.
S o f i a (to herself)
To drive him mad I really did
not intend.
( aloud )
Why on earth should I pretend
?
Molchalin could have lost his
hand.
I helped him, you should
understand,
You were there and you saw it
too,
And it did not occur to you,
It was the gesture of a
friend.
Though, maybe, you're right to
some extent,
For him I may be biased,
Now tell me really,
Why should you talk so freely
Of your contempt for people,
and never make disguise ?
You don't show mercy even to
the humblest one.
You're always at it. Always
joking, always having fun.
No matter who is mentioned
during table-talks
Down on his head you hail your
biting jokes.
C h a t s k y
My goodness ! Am I really the
kind of man
Whose only aim of life is
making fun ?
Meeting with funny people is
adoring
Though for the most part I
find them boring.
S o f i a
No, it does not apply to him.
Molchalin wouldn't really seem
To you so boring, if you knew
him well.
C h a t s k y ( with passion )
Why did you get to know him
well?
S o f i a
I never tried. It was the wish
of God.
Just look how many friends
he's got.
He's been in service for three
years,
When father loses temper for
no reason
Molchalin never takes offence.
He's kind and tries to do the
pleasing.
And incidentally,
He could make merry if he
wanted to.
Alas, he only does what the
old people here do,
He sits playing with them all
day long.
C h a t s k y
Playing all day!
He doesn't contradict when
they're wrong !
(to his side)
No, she does not respect him,
I should say.
S o f i a
One can be prompt and smart
but deathly boring,
Another's always swearing and
scolding
Just to attract attention,
grow the gossip seeds.
Is that the kind of wit a
family needs?
C h a t s k y
Is moral and satire the
meaning of this all?
(to his side)
She doesn't care for him at
all !
S o f i a
With every virtue his
character is graced.
He's modest and compliant,
though not smart.
He has no signs of worry on
his face
And doesn't suffer wrong at
heart.
He isn't finding fault with
all and everything,
That's why I love him so.
C h a t s k y (to the side)
She doesn't love him. It can
be seen.
(aloud)
And I can tell you more
To help you finish up
Molchalin's portrait.
And Skalozub? Ah, what a
treat!
He loves the army so!
His posture and his manners
and the way
He looks and talks make him a
hero.
S o f i a
Not of my novel anyway.
C h a t s k y
Not of you novel? It's hard to
find you out.
Scene 2
Chatsky, Sofia, Lizzie.
L i z i e (in a whisper)
Alexander Stepanich is about
To come in. He's here to see
you.
S o f i a
I'm sorry, I must take to
flight.
C h a t s k y
Where to ?
S o f i a
The hair dresser. While the
curling irons are hot.
C h a t s k y
So what ?
S o f i a
We are expecting visitors
tonight.
C h a t s k y
All right.
My riddle will remain
Unsolved again.
Now let me sneak into your
room where . . .
Everything is wonderful the
walls, the air,
The memories of bygone years
will do me best
They'll buck me up and give me
rest.
I shan't stay long there, a
minute, maybe two,
And then, just think, in the
English Club
I shall spend days just
listening to
The gossip about Molchalin,
Skalozub . . .
Sofia shrugs her shoulders,
departs and locks the door. Lizzie follows her.
Scene 3
Chatsky, Molchalin.
C h a t s k y
Has Sofia really chosen him?
She might.
He can be quite a husband
though he isn't bright
One doesn't need to be so
brilliant
To have a family and children.
He is polite, obliging, has a
good complexion . . .
(Enter Molchalin)
Now there he comes on tiptoe
silently.
How did he manage to win
Sofia's affectation ?
(addressing to him)
Well, Alexey Stepanich, you
and me
Didn't have time to have a
chat.
How are you? Not too bad ?
No cares ? No troubles now ?
M o l c h a l i n
Just like before.
C h a t s k y
I'm asking "how ?"
M o l c h a l i n
Day in, day out - all the
same.
C h a t s k y
From playing cards to writing
then to cards again ?
Then waiting for the turns of
tides ?
M o l c h a l i n
I do my best, without big
words,
Since I've been working in the
Archives
I have received three high
awards.
C h a t s k y
You're a man of honour and
importance ?
M o l c h a l i n
No, everybody has his own gift
. . .
C h a t s k y
You, too ?
M o l c h a l i n
Yes, I have two:
Painstakingness and
confidence.
C h a t s k y
Two finest gifts. They equal
all our gifts combined.
M o l c h a l i n
Have you not been successful ?
Haven't you ranks of any kind ?
C h a t s k y
The ranks are given by human
beings, -
They make mistakes. I have
misgivings.
M o l c h a l i n
We were so surprised !
C h a t s k y
Why should you ?
M o l c h a l i n
We were sorry for you. C h a t
s k y You didn't need to.
M o l c h a l i n
Tatyana Yuryevna once
mentioned
On her return from
Petersburg
That you had some kind of
relation
With ministers. It didn't work
. . .
C h a t s k y
It's none of her affair.
M o l c h a l i n
Tatyana Yuryevna!
C h a t s k y
We're not acquainted, I don't
care.
M o l c h a l i n
Tatyana Yuryevna!
C h a t s k y
That woman I have never seen
I hear she is silly.
M o l c h a l i n
Come on! Is that the one I
mean ?
Tatyana Yuryevna's well known!
High rank officials, chiefs,
They are all her friends and
relatives,
You'd better go and see her
one fine day.
C h a t s k y
What do I need it for ?
M o l c h a l i n
You see you may . . .
Get unexpected backing and
protection. C h a t s k y
Sometimes I visit women but
not with that intention.
M o l c h a l i n
She's so well-mannered,
pretty, unpretentious,
She gives most splendid balls
on all occasions,
From Christmas to the Easter
holidays, and then
She has festivities in her
country-house again.
Why don't stay in Moscow,
really ?
You'd get awards and live
quite merrily.
C h a t s k y
When I'm busy I mean business
as a rule,
And when it's time to play I
play the fool,
And I do not belong to those
Who're capable of doing both.
M o l c h a l i n
It's not a crime, as far as I
can see,
There's Foma Fomich. You know
the man ?
C h a t s k y
So what ?
M o l c h a l i n
Under three ministers he was
the head of a board,
He's been transferred down
here . . .
C h a t s k y
Oh dear !
A stupid man. One of the
silliest men I know.
M o l c h a l i n
You don't say so !
He's the model of eloquence !
Have you read his books ?
C h a t s k y
I don't read nonsense.
And model nonsense all the
more so.
M o l c h a l i n
No, really. I've read his
books and I enjoyed them, too.
I'm no writer . . .
C h a t s k y
No, it's plain to see.
M o l c h a l i n
I'm not brave enough to form
my own point of view.
C h a t s k y
Why are you holding back, tell
me.
M o l c h a l i n
I am just a young man and . .
.
I mustn't have my own
judgement.
C h a t s k y
We are no children. Why,
should we . . .
Respect other men's views
only.
M o l c h a l i n
We must depend on others, you
and I.
C h a t s k y
Why should we?
M o l c h a l i n
We are low rank people, that
is why.
C h a t s k y (almost aloud)
She loves a man with such a
heart!
The liar ! How could she mock
at me like that ?
Scene 4
Evening. All doors are wide
open except the door leading to Sofia's room. In the
background some doors are being opened. The footmen
are bustling about. One of them, the head footman,
says:
Hey, Filka, Fomka, hurry up,
you folk !
Bring tables, brushes,
candles, chalk !
(Knocks at Sofia's door)
Elisabeth, please tell the
mistress:
Natalia Dmitrivna, her
husband, is at the porch.
Now there is another coach.
( All break up. Chatsky is
left alone . . . )
Scene 5
Chatsky, Natalia Dmitriyevna,
a young lady
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
If I'm not mistaken, this is .
. .
Alexandr Andreyich, is it
really you ? Oh yes !
C h a t s k y
You're staring at me in such a
way.
Can I have changed so much in
these three years ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
I thought you were far away.
When did you come ?
C h a t s k y
Today.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
For long ?
C h a t s k y
I don't know, I shall see.
I say, you have changed
surprisingly.
You've put on weight. You're
such a lovely creature !
You look so fresh and young
to-day !
There's a fire, colour, joy in
every feature.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
I'm married.
C h a t s k y
You should have said it right
away.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
My husband is a gorgeous man.
He's coming in.
I'll introduce him to you, if
you want.
C h a t s k y
I do.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
There's something you will
like about him,
Just look and judge, I don't
know what.
C h a t s k y
I do believe you. He's your
husband, you are tied.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
No, he's a good man in his own
right.
Platon Mikhaylich is so
precious! He's my only one.
He is retired. He used to be a
military man.
And everybody says, all those
who knew him then,
He's one of the most
courageous, gifted men,
And had he not resigned
He would become the Moscow
commandant.
Scene 6
Chatsky, Natalia Dmitiyevna,
Platon Mikhailovich
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Meet Platon Mikhailovich.
C h a t s k y
My stars !
A good old friend of mine! Oh
what a chance !
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
Hello, my brother Chatsky !
C h a t s k y
Platon, my dear,
Congratulations on your good
behaviour.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
Now, as you see, my friend,
I've ended up in Moscow in the
end.
C h a t s k y
Have you forgotten brothers,
friends, the camping ballyhoo ?
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
Not really, I have some things
to do,
I play a duet on my flute, I
love it so.
It's in "la" flat.
C h a t s k y
The same old tune you played
five years ago ?
You don't change tastes. It is
a good merit.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
You will remember me when you
get married,
Out of idleness you'll play
the same old melody.
C h a t s k y
Do you give way to idleness,
my dear ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
My husband does a lot
Of what they don't do
nowadays:
Horse-riding, training . . .
sometimes he's bored.
C h a t s k y
Who told you, dear fellow, you
should you laze?
Go join a regiment. You'll get
a squadron, sir.
Are you a junior or a field
officer?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Well, you see, Platon
Mikhailovich is not healthy.
C h a t s k y
Do you mean he's fallen ill ?
May I know when ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
He has a headache and a
backache now and then.
C h a t s k y
Go to the country. Do more
exercise,
In summer the country-side is
a paradise.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Platon Mikhailovich prefers
The city to a god forsaken
place.
C h a t s k y
The city. Moscow . . . You're
strange.
Do you recall the past?
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
Yes, but things have changed.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
My dear,
It's cool in here,
You had best
Button your clothes, your
suit, your vest.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
I'm not the man I used to be .
. .
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Look here,
Darling, you must get buttoned
anyway.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h (speaking calmly) Yes. N a t a l i a D m i t r
i y e v n a
Get out of the doorway,
There's a draught there coming
from behind.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
I'm not the man I used to be .
. .
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Darling, be so kind,
Get out of the doorway. Don't
stand near.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
(rolling up his eyes)
Oh, woman !
C h a t s k y
Well, may god judge you, dear.
You're right, you're different
from what you were.
It wasn't long ago. Wasn't it
last year ?
We were in the regiment. Just
at the break of day
You would get on the horse to
ride away,
You'd ride around exposed to
the autumn wind . . .
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
Yes, brother. Those were the
days, indeed!
Scene 7
The same people, count
Tugouhovsky and the countess with their six
daughters.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a (in a high voice)
Count Pyotr Ilyich! Countess!
Good heavens! Countess Zizzie, Mimmie!
(Loud kissing. Then everybody
sits down taking an all round view of one another)
1 - s t c o u n t e s s
Oh, what a vogue !
2 - n d c o u n t e s s
The folds, the pleats !
1 - s t c o u n t e s s
The fringes ! Everything
matches !
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
No, have a look at my charming
satin cloak !
3 - d c o u n t e s s
Look at my scarf, my brother
cousin's present !
4 - t h c o u n t e s s
Oh yes !
5 - t h c o u n t e s s
It's lovely, isn't it ?
6 - t h c o u n t e s s
It's a woollen one.
C o u n t e s s
Hush.
Who's that gentleman? He's so
pleasant . . .
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
A stranger. Chatsky.
C o u n t e s s
A r-retired man ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Yes, he's been travelling.
He's just back home, you see . . .
C o u n t e s s
And he is not mar-r-ried yet,
is he ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a He isn't.
C o u n t e s s
Count, come here, be quick !
C o u n t (turns his
ear-trumpet to her and groans)
Ohkm !
C o u n t e s s
I ask you to invite
Natalia Dmitriyevna's
acquaintance to our party,
Tuesday night.
C o u n t
Ahkm !
( goes up to Chatsky, hangs
around him and coughs from time to time)
C o u n t e s s
With children that's the way
it is:
They want a ball while father
looks for ways
Of finding dancers. They are
rare nowadays.
Has he a noble r-rank ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Well, no. C o u n t e s s
Is he well off ?
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Well, no.
C o u n t e s s (in a loud
voice)
Eh, count, come back ! I call
it off !
Scene 8
The same people and countess
Khrumins, the granny and her granddaughter.
C o u n t e s s , the G r a n
d d a u g h t e r
Oh grandmamma! We've come too
early, I think.
We are the first to come.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
She's abusing us!
She' the first to come ! She
thinks that we are nothing !
She's angry. Not yet married.
May God forgive the lass.
C o u n t e s s , the G r a n
d d a u g h t e r
(she turns her lorgnette to
Chatsky)
So you're back, Masseur
Chatsky! How are you ?
As you were ?
C h a t s k y
Why should I change ?
C o u n t e s s , the G r a n
d d a u g h t e r
Did you get married there ?
C h a t s k y
Whom should I marry ?
C o u n t e s s , the G r a n
d d a u g h t e r
If you have hopes . . .
Our people marry there with no
procrastination,
They let us enter family
relations
With needle-women from nice
fashions shops.
C h a t s k y
Poor creatures! Do they have
to bear
Reproaches from the girls that
imitate modistes
Because they dare to prefer
To see them live than just
their lists? Scene 9
The same people and many other
guests. Among them Zagoretsky. Men come in, take a
bow and walk aside, they walk about the rooms. Sofia
comes out of her room. Everybody goes up to meet
her.
C o u n t e s s , the G r a n
d d a u g h t e r
Eh! bon soir! vous voila!
Jamais trop diligente,
Vous nous donner toujours le
plaisir de l'attente.
Z a g o r e t s k y (to Sofia)
Have you a ticket for
tomorrow's show?
S o f i a
No.
Z a g o r e t s k y
Then let me give you this.
It would have been quite
useless
If someone else had tried
To please you, for I searched
and I inquired
About it everywhere. I should
say
There wasn't any to be had
since yesterday.
Nobody had one at the office.
I asked
The manager, a friend of mine,
- alas !
This morning I was quite a
bother
I turned to one, then to
another,
Then, finally, I got this one,
of course.
I took it from an old sick man
by force,
He's a friend of mine, on
plays he isn't keen,
So let him sit at home for
once.
S o f i a
I'm grateful to you. And my
special thanks
For all the trouble you have
taken.
(More people come. Meanwhile
Zagoretsky goes up to the men).
Z a g o r e t s k y
Platon Mihkaylich. . .
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
Get out of here!
Go to the women. Tell them
lies and sneer,
I'll tell the truth about you,
if you please.
It's worse than lies.
(to Chatsky)
Well, here he is!
What do they call such people,
may I ask you?
What is the milder word? He's
a man of fame,
An outrageous swindler and a
rascal,
Anton Antonich Zagoretsky is
his name.
Beware of him, he's
indiscreet,
And don't play cards with him
- he'll cheat.
Z a g o r e t s k y
He never bears malice though
he's pert.
C h a t s k y
It would be funny, if you felt
hurt.
Apart from honesty there are
so many consolations:
They scold you here, and there
you get congratulations.
P l a t o n M i h k a y l o v
i c h
No, brother, they will scold
you here and there,
And they will welcome you just
everywhere.
Zagoretsky disappears in the
crowd
Scene 10
The same people and
Khlyostova. K h l y o s t o v a
It's not a joke for me at
sixty five, my dear,
To get to you, it's such long
and tiresome way !
I drove an hour from Pokrovka
over here,
I'm exhausted, and the night
is just a doomsday.
I took this blackamoor girl
with me
And the little dog - to keep
me company.
Let someone feed them alms
from the supper tray.
Good evening, countess. (sits
down)
Well, Sofia, my love,
You want to see the kind of
blackamoor I have ?
The kind of creatures God
creates !
The curly hair. The hunch of
shoulder blades.
She's angry, has the habits of
a cat.
She's as black as pitch. She
looks so bad !
I'll send for her, if you
allow,
She's there in the girl's
room.
S o f i a No, not now.
K h l y o s t o v a
Imagine, they're exposed like
animals for show . . .
I hear . . . there's a city
somewhere in Turkey . . .
Who got the girl for me? Do
you want to know ?
Anton Antonich Zagoretsky.
(Zagoretsky steps forward)
He's a liar, gambler, thief, a
man of no esteem !
(Zagoretsky disappears)
I keep my doors locked up for
him.
He's good at doing a service:
sister Praskovya and I,
Two blackamoor children we
have each received.
He says he bought them at the
market. It's a lie.
God bless him anyway! I've got
a gift.
C h a t s k y (to Platon
Mihkailovich, roaring with laughter)
One has to pay for such a
praise,
And Zagoretsky's run away, to
save his face.
H l y o s t o v a
Who's the cheerful man? Is he
respectable enough ?
S o f i a
This here one? It's Chatsky.
H l y o s t o v a
Well, what makes him laugh ?
What is he glad about ? What
does he mean ?
Laughing at aged people is a
sin.
You used to dance with him
when you were small,
I'd pull his ears but it
didn't help at all.
Scene 11
The same people and Famusov.
F a m u s o v (in a loud
voice)
We're waiting now for count
Pyotr Ilyich.
Oh here he is ! I was there in
the rear,
Where is Skalozub Sergey
Sergeyevich ?
He's a conspicuous man. No, he
is not here.
Sergey Sergeyich Skalozub !
K h l y o s t o v a
Good heavens! You're rumbling
louder than a tube.
Scene 12
The same people and Skalozub,
then Molchalin comes.
F a m u s o v
Sergey Sergeyich, you're late,
You made us wait and wait and
wait.
(leads him to Khlyostova.)
This is my sweetheart, do you
know?
I told her about you long ago.
K h l y o s t o v a
You were here... in the
regiment of . . . grenadiers ?
S k a l o z u b (in a loud
voice)
You mean Novozemlyansk, the
regiment of musketeers ?
It was her majesty's subunit -
quite another story.
K h l y o s t o v a
I don't distinguish regiments,
I'm sorry.
S k a l o z u b
There is a difference in
full-dress coats,
The shoulder loops, the tabs
and shirts. F a m u s o v
Now come along, count , I
shall make you laugh:
We're playing whist. It's
curious enough.
(leads Skalozub and the count
away with him)
K h l y o s t o v a (to Sofia)
It's like a noose off neck
indeed.
Your father is so silly. What
does he need
This burly fellow for? He
didn't even ask
To introduce this man to us.
M o l c h a l i n (giving her
a card)
Your party will be monsieur
Kock,
Foma Fomich and I.
K h l y o s t o v a
Thank you, old bloke.
(raises)
M o l c h a l i n
Your spits is lovely. Small
and sleek.
I patted him. He is as smooth
as silk.
K h l y o s t o v a
Thank you, my dear.
(goes out followed by
Molchalin and many others.)
Scene 13
Chatsky, Sofia and some
strangers, which gradually disperse.
C h a t s k y
Well, he has cleared the
atmosphere . . .
S o f i a
Please don't go on.
C h a t s k y
What makes you fear?
I meant to praise him for he
had commended
The angry guest.
S o f i a
With bitter words you would
have ended.
C h a t s k y
I'll tell you what I thought
about:
These aged women tend to get
quite hot,
They always need someone
around To serve them as a lightening-rod.
Molchalin, he's the kind of
man
That can appease disputes like
no one can!
He'll pat a dog, he'll show
his greatest skill
In playing cards! He's another
Zagoretsky!
You told me all his merits
then,
You must have failed to
mention some of them.
(goes out)
Scene 14
Sofia, then Mr N.
S o f i a (to herself)
This man, he always puts me
out,
He's angry, envious and proud,
He is the humiliating kind!
M r N. (coming up to her)
I see, you are lost in
thought.
S o f i a
It's Chatsky.
M r N.
Has he changed ? Or what ?
S o f i a
He is insane.
M r N.
Oh ! Has he lost his mind ?
S o f i a
Not quite . . . M r N.
But are there any indications
?
S o f i a (stares at him)
I think so.
M r N.
Oh at his age ? How come ?
Good gracious !
S o f i a
Well, nothing can be done.
(To her side)
He does believe it !
Ah, Chatsky! You are fond of
making fun, There's a cap and bells for you, young
man !
Take it or leave it. ( goes
out )
Scene 15
Mr N. then Mr D
M r N.
He's mad ! . . . That's what
she thinks ! . . . My eyes !
There must be reasons . . . It
can't be otherwise.
You heard the news?
M r D.
What news?
M r N.
About Chatsky.
M r D.
No.
M r N.
He's off his head !
M r D.
I don't think so.
M r N.
I'm telling you what others
say.
M r D.
And now you are getting out of
your way
To spread the news, my dear.
M r N.
I'll go and ask if someone
knows it here.
(goes out)
Scene 16
Mr D. then Zagoretsky.
M r D.
Believe the tattler ! He'll
repeat
Just any nonsense coming to
his ear.
You know about Chatsky ?
Z a g o r e t s k y
What is it ?
M r D.
He's mad!
Z a g o r e t s k y
Oh yes, I know, I heard.
I do recall how it occurred.
His roguish uncle said he was
insane;
He got him caught and send him
to a mental home in chain.
M r D.
Why, he was here just now,
here in this room.
Z a g o r e t s k y
They have unchained him, I
presume.
M r D.
We don't need newspapers with
you around.
I'll go and see what people
talk about.
I shall ask everyone. But it's
a secret. See ?
Scene 17
Zagoretsky, then countess, the
granddaughter.
Z a g o r e t s k y
Who's Chatsky here ? The
name's familiar to me.
I used to know a Chatsky once.
Have you ever heard of him by
any chance ?
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r
Of whom?
Z a g o r e t s k y
Of Chatsky, he was here in the
room.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r
I know, we had a chat.
Z a g o r e t s k y
Congratulation!
He is mad.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r
What?
Z a g o r e t s k y
Yes, he's mad.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r
Imagine, I myself have noticed
that;
I bet we said it with one
voice.
Scene 18
The same people and countess,
the grandmother.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r
Oh grandmamma, it's great ! I
just rejoice !
You heard about the trouble,
didn't you ?
I say ! Isn't it lovely! It's
really something new !
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r ( Speaking with a strong French
accent)
Will you speak louder, my
friend, I cannot hear?
I have my ears stuffed . . .
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r
No time, my dear !
(points to Zagoretsky)
Il vous dira toute l'histoire
. . .
I'll ask . . .
(goes out) Scene 19
Zagoretsky, Countess, the
grandmother.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r
What's that? Is there a fire?
Z a g o r e t s k y
For all this turmoil Chatsky
is the reason.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r
Did you say Chatsky? Who has
put the man to prison?
Z a g o r e t s k y
He had his forehead wounded,
and he lost his head.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r
He's a franc mason,
unfaithful, is that what you said?
Z a g o r e t s k y
No use to talk to her. (goes
out)
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r
Anton Antonich, dear!
Now there he comes. He's
hurrying. He's in fear.
Scene 20
Countess, the grandmother and
count Tugoukhovsky.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r
Count, count! This count
attends
All balls, though he can
hardly breathe.
You, count, did you hear me?
C o u n t
Ah-hm?
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r
He's hard to talk with,
At least you saw the policeman
nearby?
C o u n t
Eh-hm?
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r
Who was this Chatsky
imprisoned by?
C o u n t
Weh-hm?
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r
Give him a hover sack! Let him
go soldiering!
He breaks the law! Isn't he
daring?
C o u n t
Uh-hm?
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r
Yes! He is an outrageous
alien!
That's was he is! A downright
Voltarian!
What? What? He's deaf. Take
out the hearing trumpet,
Poor hearing is bad. Talking
is hampered.
Scene 21
The same people and
Khlyostova, Sofia, Molchalin, Platon Mikhailovitch,
Natalia Dmitriyevna, countess, the granddaughter,
Zagoretsky, Skalozub, then Famusov and many others.
K h l y o s t o v a
He's off his head! I beg to
state it.
It is so sudden ! So
unexpected !
Did you hear it, Sofia ?
P l a t o n M i k h a i l o v
i t c h
Who made it known ? You ?
N a t a l y a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Oh, dear, everybody.
P l a t o n M i k h a i l o v
i t c h
Then you don't doubt. As for
me, I do.
F a m u s o v (coming in)
Whom are you talking about ?
Chatsky ? Why doubt ? It's
true !
I was the first to have
discovered it,
I wonder why he isn't bound to
bed.
He has the nerve to abuse the
government.
If you should bow bending your
body
To our sovereign or anybody,
You will be called a rascal
and a toady.
K h l y o s t o v a
He is always making fun of us.
He burst out laughing when I
mentioned gifts.
M o l c h a l i n
He talked me out of working in
the Archives.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r And as for me I was compared with
modistes.
N a t a l y a D m i t r i y e
v n a
He told my husband he should
settle in the country-house.
Z a g o r e t s k y
All things considered he is
mad.
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r
I judge it from his eyes.
F a m u s o v
He takes after his mother. No
surprise !
She's known to have lost mind
a half a dozen times.
K h l y o s t o v a
Strange things can happen in
this world,
A man his age should turn
insane !
He must have drunk from young.
C o u n t e s s
It's true ! . .
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r
No, doubt. Upon my word !
K h l y o s t o v a He would
drink glasses of
Champaign
N a t a l y a D m i t r i y e
v n a
He drank it by the bottle !
Z a g o r e t s k y (with
passion)
No !
It's by the barrel for all I
know.
F a m u s o v
Well, drinking isn't bad as
such,
A man may drink a drop too
much.
It's education that's to blame
That many people go insane.
There are so many mental cases
views, ideas, really!
K h l y o s t o v a
These boarding schools,
lyceums and all that,
As well this Lancaster
teaching theory,
They all can easily drive you
mad.
C o u n t e s s
There is an Institute in
Petersburg, I have been told,
The Institute of
Pe-da-go-gics, I think it's called.
What the professors do there
they propagate
Dissent and unbelief. A
relative of mine,
He studied there. He's a
graduate,
And any time can be employed
In a pharmacy or somewhere in
the line.
A chemist, botanist, he's
trying to avoid
The fair sex. He doesn't care
Much for promotion or career,
He's my nephew, my dear and
near.
S k a l o z u b
I have good news: there is an
education plan, I hear,
For boarding schools, Lyceums
and gymnasiums,
They'll teach there simply,
like they do it here.
They will use books on some
occasions.
F a m u s o v
Sergey Sergeyich! No! To nip
it in the bud
I'd take all books and burn
them up like that!
Z a g o r e t s k y (speaking
humbly)
No, there are books and books.
You know, If I were engaged in censorship,
I'd deal with fables: Oh! I
Love them so!
The mockery of lions, eagles,
sheep,
No matter what one thinks,
They're animals, and yet their
kings.
K h l y o s t o v a
It doesn't matter if it's
books or drinking
That caused his lunacy. And
I'm thinking
With sympathy of Chatsky, I
should say,
He really deserves it, in a
Christian way.
He had three hundred souls,
and he was bright.
F a m u s o v
Four hundred.
K h l y o s t o v a
Three, sir.
F a m u s o v
Four.
K h l y o s t o v a
No! Three. F a m u s o v
My calendar . . .
K h l y o s t o v a
The calendars are never right.
F a m u s o v
Four hundred men! Stop arguing
with me!
K h l y o s t o v a
No, three! I know other people
property!
F a m u s o v
Four hundred, do you
understand me?
K h l y o s t o v a
No, three hundred! Three,
three, three.
Scene 22
The same people and Chatsky.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Now there he is!
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r
Hush!
E v e r y b o d y
Hush!
(Stepping back from him.)
K h l y o s t o v a
He'll make a fuss!
He'll want to have it out with
us
F a m u s o v
Good Lord! Forgive our
trespass! (With caution.)
You're not yourself, my dear.
Let me feel your pulse,
You need a sleep after the
journey; you're ill.
C h a t s k y
That's right. I cannot bear
the pains I feel.
I'm suffering a million
torments
From friendly squeezes,
shuffles, exclamations, comments,
( comes up to Sofia.)
My heart is overwhelmed with
grief,
I feel out of place, I'm
lonely here.
No, Moscow doesn't give
relief.
K h l y o s t o v a
He's blaming Moscow, do you
hear?
F a m u s o v
We'd better keep away from
him.
( makes signs to Sofia )
Hm, Sofia has shut her ears.
S o f i a (to Chatsky)
What makes you angry, tell us,
please ?
C h a t s k y
There in that room they have
an incidental meeting:
The little Frenchman from
Bordeaux, puffed up with pride
Was telling them : he had a
fright
To go to the Barbarian Russia.
So he came and found
There was caressing all
around.
With not a single Russian
face,
The language spoken was
Francaise.
It looked as though he were in
France
Among his friends, in his
province,
And if you saw him, he would
appear
To you as if he were a petty
monarch here,
With clinging ladies, always
looking smart,
He's happy here, while we
aren't.
There came a storm of
exaltation
With screams and moans and
violent elation.
"Oh France! The land beyond
compare!" -
Two sister countess came out
to declare -
The lesson they had learnt in
their green years.
There is no arguing with
countess.
I said I wanted everyone to
hear it,
I wished that god could crush
the evil spirit
Of meaningless blind slavish
imitation
And fill someone with
inspiration,
The one that would be able to
Deter us with a solid hand
From miserable longing for a
foreign land.
I may be called
An old-believer, yet I think
Our North is worse a
hundredfold
Since I adopted the new mode,
Having abandoned everything :
Our customs and our
conditions,
The language, moral values and
traditions,
And, in exchange of the grand
gown,
Regardless of all trends
And common sense,
We put on this apparel of a
clown:
A tail, a funny cut - oh, what
a scene !
It's tight and doesn't match
the face;
This funny, grey-haired shaven
chin !
'Which covers thee discovers
thee!'- there's a phrase.
If we adopt traditions from
abroad with ease
We'd better learn a little
from Chinese,
Their ignorance of foreign
lands.
Shall we awaken from the power
of alien fashions
So that our wise and cheerful
Russians
Might never think us to be
Germans?
"Can European culture be
compared
With our culture?" - I once
heard.
"How can the words such as
"Madame", "mademoiselle"
Be turned to Russian? Is it
"girl"?
No sooner than I said it,
fancy,
They burst out laughing. They
laughed at me.
"Ha! Girl! Ha-ha, isn't it
wonderful!
Ha- Girl! Ha-ha, isn't it
awful!"
I got so angry and I cursed,
I was about to retort,
But they broke up, dispersed.
I'll tell you what:
Both here in Moscow and in
Petersburg, you know,
A man that hates pretence and
all that's done for show
And is unfortunate to have in
mind
A few ideas of some kind
And wants to openly speak out
!
Look out..
(looks around, everybody is
dancing a waltz. The older people make their ways to
card tables)
END OF ACT III
ACT IV
Central hall in Famusov's
house; a big stair leading from the first floor and
a number of accessory stairs adjoining it from the
mezzanines; downstairs on the right (to the people
in the play) is the exit to the porch and to the
porter's lodge; to the left is Molchalin's room.
Night. A faint light. Some footmen are bustling,
others sleep in expectation of their masters.
Scene 1 Countess, the
grandmother, countess, the granddaughter lead by
their footman.
F o o t m a n
The coach of Khryumina !
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d d a u g h t e r
(while being wrapped up)
Oh, what a ball!
This Famusov! The kind of
guests he called !
Some ugly creatures from the
other world !
No one to talk to or to dance
with. Not a soul !
C o u n t e s s , the g r a n
d m o t h e r
I'm tired, darling, let's get
under way. I'll go to grass straight from the ball
some day.
(Both leave the house) Scene 2
Platon Mikhailovich and
Natalia Dmitriyevna. One footman is bustling around,
another shouts from the porch:
The coach of Gorich!
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
Oh my life, my soul,
My precious one, oh, why are
you so sad ?
(kisses her husband on the
forehead)
You had some fun at Famusov's,
I'm sure you had !
P l a t o n M i k h a i l o v
i t c h
I don't like parties but I'm
all yours,
And I obey you just because
I want to please you, I just
sit
Keeping my vigils. On hearing
commands,
However sad, I go to dance.
N a t a l i a D m i t r i y e
v n a
You make pretence, you're not
good at it; You want to be reputed to be old
Unable to activity.
(goes out accompanied by the
footman)
P l a t o n M i k h a i l o v
i t c h
(speaking coolly)
There's nothing bad about a
ball,
It pains to be in captivity;
Nobody forces us to marry!
For some it is a predetermined
thing...
T h e f o o t m a n
The mistress! She's waiting in
the coach. She's angry.
P l a t o n M i k h a i l o v
i t c h
(with a sigh)
All right, all right, I'm
coming.
(goes out)
Scene 3
Chatsky and the Footman
accompanying him.
C h a t s k y
Tell them to bring the coach
immediately.
(The footman goes out)
The day has passed and with
the day
The hazes and illusions are
away;
The haze of hope that filled
my soul up until recently.
What did I hope to find here
after a long absence ?
Where is the beauty of
encounters and people's sympathy,
Those cheers, hugs and
greetings, - nonsense !
When you are ridding on a
coach you see
Vast, boundless plain before
you.
Everything's lively, light and
blue,
And there is always something
new,
You drive an hour, two, a day
and then
You reach a stopping place for
rest, you look around
And see the same deserted
plain.
It makes me sad to think about
it.
(The footman comes back)
Ready?
T h e f o o t m a n
Well, the coachman is out of
sight.
C h a t s k y
You go and look for him, we
cannot stay here for night.
(The footman goes out again )
Scene 4
Chatsky, Repetilov (the latter
runs into the hall from the porch, falls down and
puts himself straight hurriedly)
R e p e t i l o v
God damn it! Oh my Lord!
My eyes! Where are you from,
my friend ?
Mon cher! My dear friend! Just
from abroad ?
They used to be so critical of
me. They said
I was a chatterer a man of
superstitions,
That I indulged in
premonitions.
Just now - how do you account
for that ? -
I stumbled in the doorway and
fell flat.
I hurried here as if I knew
That I was going to see you.
Make fun of me, and say that
I,
As always, want to tell a lie.
For you I feel affection of
some kind,
A kind of ailment passion and
...
I bet my soul, you'll never
find
Another friend
So true to you ! Upon my life
!
I do not care, if I lose my
wife,
My children, or I'm left alone
In the whole wide world, all
on my own.
I do not care if I live or
die...
C h a t s k y
Stop talking nonsense! And
don't lie !
R e p e t i l o v
It's natural that you should
hate me,
I find it easy to talk to
other people.
With you I always seem to be
So humble, miserable, stupid,
simple.
C h a t s k y
Or what a queer self abasement
!
R e p e t i l o v
Do scold me ! I'm far from
being complacent,
And when I think about the way
I used to idle... Say, what's
the time now ?
C h a t s k y
Since you are here for the
ball you may
Go home. It will be over in an
hour. R e p e t i l o v
The ball ? Where we are bound
By the decorum, and where we
cannot break away
From a heavy burden ? Have you
read the book about ? . .
C h a t s k y
And have you read it ? Say,
You, Repetilov ? Tell me
really.
R e p e t i l o v
Call me a vandal ! I deserve
it, that is.
I highly valued people that
were silly,
And all my life I raved about
balls and parties,
I would forget my children and
my wife.
I'd play and lose, they put me
in a ward,
I kept a dancer. One was not
enough,
But I had three of them. My
God!
I drank like mad! I wouldn't
sleep nine days on end, oh my !
I denied everything: the law
and honour and belief !
C h a t s k y
I say ! You ought to know the
limits when you lie !
There's a reason to be filled
with grief.
R e p e t i l o v
You may congratulate me for I
know
Most clever people now. I'm
not bored any more.
C h a t s k y
Do you feel bored tonight ?
R e p e t i l o v
Not just tonight. Do you know
where I was ?
C h a t s k y
Well, I suppose,
You were in a club.
R e p e t i l o v
That's right.
The English Club, and, frankly
speaking,
I'm now straight from a noisy
meeting.
I promised them to hold my
tongue. So mums the word, agreed ?
We have a circle. A society.
And that's a secret.
We have our sessions
Thursdays, see ?
C h a t s k y
My dear friend, you scare me.
Where is it ? In the Club ?
R e p e t i l o v
Oh yes.
C h a t s k y
There are extraordinary
measures
About chucking all of you with
all your secrets out.
R e p e t i l o v
You needn't be afraid. We talk
aloud
But nobody can make anything
out.
Me too, when hearing people
talk about prison cells and juries,
About Byron and that stuff, I
just get curious,
I listen carefully, and it's a
pity
I don't get anything for my
stupidity,
Ah Alexander, we've been
missing you.
Now listen, dear, I should ask
you to
Do me a favour, let's go there
now,
I'll introduce you, if you
allow,
To such nice people! They're
not like me, to tell the truth,
They're so wonderful. The
cream of youth ! C h a t s k y
I do not care for them, nor
you. Where shall I go ?
Why should I ? In the dead of
night ? Well, no.
R e p e t i l o v
Come on! Who is asleep now ?
Why hesitate ?
Let's go! The people there are
just great !
A dozen of daring hot heads,
But when we talk you'd think
we're hundreds.
C h a t s k y
Why be so frantic ? What's the
goal ?
R e p e t i l o v
We make a noise, my brother.
C h a t s k y
Noise? Well, is that all ?
R e p e t i l o v
This isn't time and place for
explanation, It is a state affair in a way,
Though it is not an urgent
situation,
Such things are not done in a
day.
What kind of people are they ?
Well, here's my story:
There is for instance count
Grigory,
A queer man, he is great fun,
Has all the makings of an
Englishman,
His hair is always in good
trim.
Are you familiar? You ought to
meet him,
There's another man. He's
Yevdokim Vorkulov.
You should have heard him
sing! His voice is such a love!
There is a song he sings, you
know?:
"Ah! Non lashiar me, no, no,
no."
There are two men, Levon and
Borya, they're brothers,
Nice people. Just like all the
others.
There isn't much to say about
these two,
But I can name our genius, if
you want me to,
It is Udushyev Ippolit
Martinich.
Have you read much of him ? At
least an inch. I recommend you. Though he doesn't
seem
To write anything now. If I
were to decide,
I'd whip him with a rod
repeating: "Write, write, write";
You'll find an extract in a
journal, by the way,
It's called "A Point Of View
And Something".
What is it all about?
Everything.
He knows everything. We save
him for an evil day.
Our leader is like no one else
in our Russian land,
I needn't give his name, you
will understand.
A night-time robber and a duel
fan,
He was in exile in Kamchatka,
no surprise,
From there he returned an
Aleutian man.
He's a rogue: with clever men
it can't be otherwise,
But when he, filled with
frenzied inspiration,
Starts holding forth on
honesty
He reddens ridden with
obsession
And bursts out crying. So do
we.
Such are the people, they are
really a rarity
I'm one of them. I'm a
mediocrity,
I'm lazy, not so well
advanced. It's awful!
But when I set to work
straining my mind
I sit an hour like a fool
And bear out a pun of a kind,
Some people find my thought
amusing
And putting half a dozen heads
together
Make up a sketch, another six
compose the music,
Still other six will clap
their hands,
They're birds of a feather.
You are laughing, man,
But that's the way it is,
I'm not endowed by God with
capabilities
But I'm kind. That's why they
like me.
They pardon me when I tell
lies...
T h e f o o t m a n (standing
at the porch)
The coach of Skalozub!
R e p e t i l o v
Who's coach you said?
Scene 5
he same people and Skalozub.
He comes down the stairs.
R e p e t i l o v (stepping
towards him)
Ah Skalozub, my dear friend!
Wait, wait. Don't go away.
(Hugging him.)
C h a t s k y
Where shall I go?
(goes into the porters'
lodge.)
R e p e t i l o v
I haven't heard of you since
long ago.
You've joined a regiment, they
say.
Are you familiar?
(Looking around to see
Chatsky.)
The stubborn man. He's gone.
You are the one
Whom I was looking for? Let's
go with me.
There are a lot of people at
Grigory's
About forty of us, you will
see.
A bunch of wit, that's what it
is.
They'll talk all night without
getting tired.
First they will treat you to
Champaign up to the chin,
Then they will teach you
something you and I
Would never think of, or
imagine.
S k a l o z u b
Man, you won't have it on me
with erudition.
Tell someone else. And if you
wish, then
A sergeant from my regiment
will serve
As a Voltair to your Grigory
and yourself.
He'll get you into ranks of
three
And if you say a word, he'll
calm you down quickly.
R e p e t i l o v
Well, service is the only
thing you want to know.
I, too, should strive for
ranks, but I'm
A failure. I miscarried years
ago,
I was in civil service at the
time,
Baron von Klotz had an
ambition
To get a minister's position.
And I
Had an eye
To be his son in law,
I made no bones about it.
He's wife and he
Played cards with me.
I lost tremendous sums of
money,
I built a house in Fontanka
street,
The place where the Baron
lived.
A house with columns. Huge! So
costly!
I married their daughter
finally.
Did I get dowry! Hell! No! And
no promotions.
The son of law of a German.
There was no use.
He was afraid of rumours and
reproaches
For being biased to his
relatives,
The deuce!
His secretaries! The miserable
riff-raff!
The wretched scribblers ! They
are important now.
They've got on in the world,
and how!
Look in the calendar: the
ranks, the crosses and the service.
Lakhmotyev Alexey was really
clever to suggest;
We need most drastic remedies
For our stomachs won't digest.
( stops talking, seeing that
Zagoretsky has taken Skalozub's place, who left the
house by then)
Scene 6
Repetilov, Zagoretsky.
Z a g o r e t s k y
Go on. Go on. To be sincere,
I'm as liberal as you.
I'm straight, I speak without
fear,
That's why I've lost so much.
I've got my due.
R e p e t i l o v (with
regret)
All are apart! And all keep
mute!
If someone leaves, the other
follows suit.
First Chatsky vanished, then
the colonel did.
Z a g o r e t s k y
What do you think of Chatsky?
R e p e t i l o v
He's man of wit. I met him
now, there was a chat
About a vaudeville and that;
I liked the talk though nobody
talked sense.
Chatsky and I... We are good
friends.
Z a g o r e t s k y
And did you notice that
He's sort of mad?
R e p e t i l o v
It's rubbish!
Z a g o r e t s k y
Everybody says so.
R e p e t i l o v
No, it's a lie!
Z a g o r e t s k y
Ask people.
R e p e t i l o v
No.
Z a g o r e t s k y
Oh there they come: the count,
the countess - And their daughters.
R e p e t i l o v
Staff and nonsense, that is.
Scene 7
Repetilov, Zagoretsky, the
count and the countess with their six daughters; a
little later Khlyostova comes down the front stair.
Molchalin holds her by the hand, the footmen fuss
about.
Z a g o r e t s k y
Now, ladies, tell me, if you
please,
Is Chatsky mad?
1 - s t c o u n t e s s
No doubt, he is.
2 - n d c o u n t e s s
Well, anyone will tell you
that.
3 - d c o u n t e s s
The Dryanskys, the
Varlyanskys,
The Khvorovs, the Skatchkovs.
4 - t h c o u n t e s s
It isn't new for everybody
knows.
5 - t h c o u n t e s s
Who doubts then?
Z a g o r e t s k y
This here man does not
believe.
6 - t h c o u n t e s s
You!
A l t o g e t h e r
Masseur Repetilov! You!
Masseur Repetilov is it true?
How can you be against us all?
Why should you? Don't feel
ashamed at all?
R e p e t i l o v (shuts his
ears)
I didn't know it was so open,
sorry.
T h e c o u n t e s s
He is a dangerous man,
Don't listen to his story.
It is about time to lock him
in,
I think he's a Jacobin. To
listen to him he is wittier
Than anyone on earth, even
duke Peter.
Your Chatsky ! ! ! . . . Come
along, count, you take Kate
Or Zizzie with you. Are we six
or seven?
K h l y o s t o v a (from the
stair)
The cards. You didn't pay the
debt.
C o u n t e s s
I owe you.
E v e r y b o d y (to one
another)
Far you well.
(The family departs, so does
Zagoretsky.)
Scene 8
Repetilov, Khlyostova,
Molchalin.
R e p e t i l o v
Good heaven!
Anfisa Nilovna! Oh poor
Chatsky! There!
Who needs your wisdom and your
care?
And what's the use of going
out of one's way? K h l y o s t o v a
It is God's wish. Anyway
He will be treated. Maybe
cured in the end.
While you're quite incurable,
my friend,
What on earth made you come
round?
Molchalin, you don't try to
please me,
Don't see me out.
Good by! It's time to come to
reason.
( Molchalin goes into his
room. She departs.)
Scene 9
Repetilov and his footman.
R e p e t i l o v
It's coming to the break of
day.
Where shall I go to now? Yes,
where?
Come, put me in the cab. Take
me away.
Take me just anywhere.
(departs) Scene 10
The last light goes down.
C h a t s k y (comes out of
the footman's room)
What's that? I can't believe
my ears!
It isn't fun. It's evil, it
appears.
How come? As if by miracle or
majesty
They all talk nonsense about
me!
For some it's like a funny
trick,
While others seem quite
sympathetic...
Who was the first to spin the
yarn?!
Somebody raised a noise - no
sooner said than done -
And there you have public
opinion.
Does Sofia know it? They have
told her, yes.
Not that she meant to spite me
- no!
She doesn't care if it's me or
someone else,
She had some fun and doesn't
want to know,
She doesn't care for anyone -
for me or him.
Why did she faint then, God
only knows.
Is it her shattered nerves or
is it just a whim
That comes and goes?
I thought it was a sign of
passion - I was wrong.
She would have broken down
just as well
If she had seen someone step
on
A pussy's or a puppy's tail.
S o f i a (above the stair,
candle in hand)
It's you, Molchalin?
(closes the door quickly)
C h a t s k y
It's Sofia! Oh, yes, I see her
!
Good Lord! My head's burning
and my blood begins to stir.
She has turned up, or is it
just dreams ?
I'm out of my mind, it seems.
I'm used to mysteries and I
Should not deceive myself,
should I ?
This time it's not a vision,
it's a date.
She called Molchalin, so I'd
rather wait.
H i s f o o t m a n (from the
porch)
The cab... You need...
C h a t s k y
Hush.
(Pushes him out)
I'll stay and keep an eye on
it Till morning. Once I am to drain a cup of woe
Let it be so.
Let it be now, not afterwards.
For a delay
Won't save me anyway.
The door is opening.
( hides himself behind a
column.)
Scene 11
Chatsky is hidden. Lizzie,
candle in hand.
L i z i e
Good heaven ! I'm filled with
fear
My torturer, the lady... sent
me here.
Black night! The empty hall!
I'm scared of ghosts. Or any
living soul.
This Chatsky, he is like an
eye sore.
She says she saw him down on
this floor.
(Looks around)
A lot he cares about walking
around !
By now he's surely got out !
He put his love off for
another day, I bet !
He hurried home and - straight
to bed.
But I must call him anyway.
( knocks at Molchalin door)
Wake up! Will you wake up! I
say !
The lady calls you, do you
hear ?
Be quick, you must get through
unseen.
Scene 12
Chatsky is behind the column,
Lizzie, Molchalin (stretches his arms and yawns),
Sofia (sneaks down the stair).
L i z i e
You, sir, you heart of stone,
thick skin !
M o l c h a l i n
Ah Lizzie! Who sent you over
here ?
L i z i e
The lady.
M o l c h a l i n
There's one thing I'm thinking
off:
These cheeks, these veins and
all
Have not yet seen the flush of
love.
What makes you want to be at
beck and call?
L i z i e
You suitors shouldn't stay in
bed
Idling away your time and
lazing,
For handsome is who doesn't
get
Enough of sleep before the
wedding.
M o l c h a l i n
The wedding ? Whom with ?
L i z i e
With the lady.
M o l c h a l i n
There's room for hope before
the wedding.
L i z i e But sir !
Is there any other fiancй ?
M o l c h a l i n
Who knows? I'm scared to think
About one thing:
I'm afraid that Pavel
Afanasich may
Take us by surprise some day.
He'll curse me! Fire me! I'll
be frank: you see,
Sofia has nothing to adore her
for.
I wish her well. She will stop
loving me,
Like she's not in love with
Chatsky any more.
I wish I cared half as much
for her
As I do care for you, my dear.
Alas, no matter how I try to
stir
My feelings - I cool down when
I see Sofia.
S o f i a (to the side)
Oh what a wicked man!
C h a t s k y (from behind the
column)
A scoundrel he is!
L i z i e
Aren't you ashamed?
M o l c h a l i n
My father taught me this:
I must please all and everyone
-
The host of house I would live
in,
The boss I'd work with and the
man
That would keep my clothes
clean,
The sweeper of the yard, and,
just in case,
His dog to win its love and
kindness.
L i z i e
They are all guardians of
yours.
M o l c h a l i n
Now I pretend to be a lover
To please the daughter of one
of those...
L i z i e
The one that feeds you, gives
you cover ?
Sometimes ranks, too ?
Well, that will do.
M o l c h a l i n
Let's go. We've talked enough.
Let's share our sad girl's
love.
Let me embrace you, most
sincerely.
(Lizzie pushes him away)
I wish you were Sofia, really.
(He wants to go, but Sofia
doesn't let him)
S o f i a ( almost in a
whisper. Talking is in a low voice during the whole
scene)
Don't you come near. I have
heard it!
You scoundrel ! What a shame !
Oh what a mistake.
M o l c h a l i n
Why Sofia Pavlovna...
S o f i a Don't say a word.
I can do anything. Don't talk,
for goodness sake.
M o l c h a l i n
(falls down on his knees,
Sofia pushes him away)
Remember please! Have mercy.
Look and see!
S o f i a
I don't remember anything.
Forget me ! - 173 - M o l c h a l i n (grovels at
her feet)
Have pity...
S o f i a
Don't be mean. Get up. You
wretched thing.
I don't want any answer. For I
know
You'll tell a lie again...
M o l c h a l i n
Have mercy...
S o f i a
No. No. No.
M o l c h a l i n
I said it just for fun . . .
don't make a fuss . . .
S o f i a
You'd better now leave me
alone
Or else I'll wake up everyone,
And I don't care, if I ruin
both of us.
(Molchalin raises)
I wish that I had never known
you.
Do not expect me to complain,
reproach or cry.
Get out of the house so that I
Might never hear of you again.
M o l c h a l i n
Well, as you wish.
S o f i a
Or else
I'll tell papa the truth. I'll
get my due,
But I don't care about the
consequence.
Now go ! No, wait. You should
be glad that you
Were more than shy
When you and I
Had dates at nights,
And even in the daytime
When everyone could see
You were dishonest, but not so
saucy,
And I'm
Pleased to have discovered
everything,
There's nothing
To reproach me of. There are
no witnesses
Except when I lost
consciousness.
Chatsky was here . . . no . .
.
C h a t s k y (comes up
quickly between them)
Yes, you pretender!
L i z i e and S o f i a
Oh! Oh!
(Lizzie drops the candle out
of fright. Molchalin goes into his room.)
Scene 13
The same people, except
Molchalin.
C h a t s k y
She's quick to faint. Now it
can be justified,
There's a reason for it this
time.
That is the answer for the
riddle for I'm
Aware to whom I have been
sacrificed!
I just restrained myself which
wasn't wise,
I saw it- I did not believe my
eyes !
As for the sweetheart who has
betrayed a friend
And has ignored a woman's fear
and shame,
He's hidden now behind the
door in an attempt
To shirk the answer. Oh this
fortune's game!
Repudiated hateful men! The
scourge!
Molchalins are as pleased as
Punch!
S o f i a (in tears)
Don't speak. It is my fault
through and through,
But who could think he was so
cunning!
L i z i e
There's a knock! A noise!
People are coming!
The father will be grateful to
you.
Scene 14
Chatsky, Sofia, Lizzie,
Famusov a crowd of footmen, candle in hand.
F a m u s o v
Be quick! Be quick! Come here!
Follow me !
Bring candles, lanterns, I
can't see !
Where are the footmen? My! I
see familiar faces !
My daughter Sofia Pavlovna!
What a disgrace it is !
Where is she ? Whom with?!
Upon my life !
She's like her mother, my
deceased wife.
My better half: each time I
got away
She'd find a man to pass the
time of day!
For heaven's sake! How did he
win your heart?
Wasn't it you who called him
mad?
I have been silly, blind. Oh
my!
It is a plot. And all the
guests and he
Were involved in that
conspiracy.
C h a t s k y (to Sofia)
So is it you whom I should
thank for all this lie?
F a m u s o v
No, brother, you're cheating,
and I'll never let it pass.
I don't believe you, it's an
invention of your own.
You, Filka, crazy stupid ass !
I made a doorman out of a
lazybones !
Whatever happens, he never
knows !
Where were you ? Where did you
go ?
Why did you not lock up the
doors ?
How come, you missed all this
? How come, you didn't you know ? I'll send you to
the farm, to work there in the fields.
About selling me you'd make no
bones.
You, watchful girl ! With your
perpetual tricks;
That is the fruit of love of
fashion shops and clothes !
You've learnt to pimp and
pander lovers.
I'll put you right. I know
what I can do.
Go feed the poultry ! Move to
the service-house !
My dear daughter, you, too,
will get your due,
Have patience; my decision
will be simple:
You will not live here in
Moscow with the people.
In a day or two I'll send you
off
To a god-forsaken place, your
aunt's, near Saratov.
You'll pass the time there
grieving,
Sitting tambour in hand,
card-reading.
And I should ask you, Chatsky,
this:
You will not visit her by any
means,
With you I'll draw the line at
this:
All doors will be locked up
for you by all the families.
I'll do my best to make a din,
I'll make the whole of Moscow
learn it.
I'll make it public, ring the
tocsin,
I'll write the ministers, the
sovereign and the Senate.
C h a t s k y (after a short
silence)
I try to come to reason, But I
can't,
I listen but I do not
understand.
As if I needed further
explanation,
I'm at a loss... I'm in
expectation...
(Passionately)
I'm blind! I wanted a reward
For all my efforts !... I just
rushed along.
I hurried here for I thought
That happiness was close, but
I was wrong.
The kind of a choice you've
made. My goodness ! You !
Just think of whom you have
preferred me to !
Whom did I talk to, humbly,
lovingly, to-day ?
Why did I waste my words of
tenderness in such a way ?
Why did you inspire hope in me
?
Why didn't you tell me openly
That you had turned the past
to fun
And that your memories ignore
All we had felt and said and
done?
I'm still feeling as before.
And neither travels nor
diversions
Have killed my tenderest
emotions.
I lived with them through
thick and thin.
If you had told me that you
hated everything:
My coming home, the way I
talk,
The sight of me, the way I
walk,
I should have broken off with
you
And would not have tried of
course,
To find out who your admirer
was...
(With derision)
You'd better now put up with
him.
What is the use of worrying?
Just make the most of him.
Make him an errand boy,
A sort of a domestic envoy,
A husband and a page, a
husband and a footman,
The dream of every Moscow
gentleman.
Enough! I'm proud to have
broken off with you. And you, sir, you hold rank in
reverence.
I wish that you remained in
blissful ignorance:
The aim of marrying Sofia I
don't pursue.
There'll be another, a well
behaved one,
A toady and a business-minded
man.
With all those merits and with
many more
He'll make an equal to his
father-in-law.
So I'm enlightened. You should
realize:
The dreams are over, and the
scales are off my eyes.
Now I can have a bitter word
With you that used to court
her
And with the whole wide world.
Where do I find myself by evil
fortunes ?
How can I bear this crowd of
torturers ?
They ostracize me! Curse me!
All those story tellers !
Betrayers of love and enemies
as well as
Ungainly connoisseurs and
cunning laymen,
Malicious aged men and women
That grow discreet living on
lies.
You all have made me known as
a fool.
You're right: he will get out
of the fire who
After remaining a day with
you,
And breathing air with people
of your kind
Will not get out of his mind.
Away from Moscow ! Catch me
being here again !
I'll go around the world in
search
Of a place with room for
outraged feeling ! . .
The coach ! The coach !
(goes out)
Scene 15
All except Chatsky.
F a m u s o v
Well, he's off his head, you
see ?
Now tell me seriously:
What did this madman talk
about here ?
Calling me names ! Talking of
Moscow threatingly !
Do you intend to ruin me, my
love ?
Isn't my fate deplorable
enough ?
My goodness !
What will countess
Marya Aleksevna say to this ?
T H E E N D
