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Whereon, Under The Government Of Madame
Aimilia, The Argument Of Each Severall Descourse, Is Not Limitted To Any
One Peculiar Subject: But Every One Remaineth At Liberty, To Speak Of
Whatsoever Themselves Best Pleaseth.
Faire Aurora, from whose bright and chearefull lookes, the duskie
darke night flyeth as an utter enemy, had already reached so high as the
eight Heaven, converting it all into an Azure colour, and the pretty
Flowrets beganne to spred open their Leaves: when Madame Aemillia,
beeing risen, caused all her female attendants, and the yong Gentlemen
likewise, to be summoned for. their personall appearance. Who being all
come, the Queen leading the way, and they following her Majesticke pace,
walked into a little Wood, not farre off distant from the Palace.
Where the Queen, looking on Madam Philomena, gave her the honor of
beginning the first Novell for that day: whereto shee dutifully
condiscending, began as followeth.
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Approving, That Chaste And Honest Women, Ought
Rather To Deny Importunate Suiters, By Subtile And Ingenious Meanes,
Then Fall Of Scandall And Slander.
Madame Francesca, a Widdow of Pistoya, being affected by two Florentine
Gentlemen, the one named Rinuccio Palermini, and the other Alessandro
Chiarmontesi, and she bearing no good will to eyther of them;
ingeniously freed her selfe from both their importunate suites. One of
them she caused to lye as dead in a grave, and the other to fetch him
from thence: so neither of them accomplishing what they were enjoyned,
fayled of obtaining his hoped expectation.
Madame, it can no way discontent mee (seeing it is your most gracious
pleasure) that I should have the honour, to breake the first staffe of
freedome in this faire company (according to the injunction of your
Majesty) for liberty of our own best liking arguments: wherein I dismay
not (if I can speake well enough) but to please you all as well, as any
other that is to follow me. Nor am I so oblivious (worthy Ladies) but
full well I remember, that many times hath bene related in our passed
demonstrations, how mighty and variable the powers of love are: and yet
I cannot be perswaded, that they have all bene so sufficiently spoken
of, but something may bee further added, and the bottome of them never
dived into, although we should sit arguing a whole yeare together. And
because it hath beene alreadie approved, that Lovers have bene led into
divers accidents, not onely inevitable dangers of death, but also have
entred into the verie houses of the dead, thence to convey their amorous
friends: I purpose to acquaint you with a Novell, beside them which have
bene discoursed; whereby you may not onely comprehend the power of Love,
but also the wisedome used by an honest Gentlewoman, to rid her selfe of
two importunate suiters, who loved her against her owne liking, yet
neither of them knowing the others affection.
In the City of Pistoya, there dwelt sometime a beautifull
Gentlewoman, being a Widdow, whom two of our Florentines (the one named
Rinuccio Palermini, and the other Alessandro Chiarmontesi, having
withdrawne themselves to Pistoya) desperately affected, the one ignorant
of the others intention, but each carrying his case closely, as hoping
to be possessed of her. This Gentlewoman, named Madame Francesca de
Lazzari, being often solicited by their messages, and troublesomely
pestered with their importunities: at last (lesse advisedly then she
intended) shee granted admittance to heare either of them speake. Which
she repenting, and coveting to be rid of them both, a matter not easie
to be done: she wittily devised the onely meanes, namely, to move such a
motion to them, as neither would willingly undertake, yet within the
compasse of possibility; but they failing in the performance, shee might
have the more honest occasion, to bee free from all further mollestation
by them, and her politike intention was thus projected.
On the same day, when she devised this peece of service, a man was
buried in Pistoya, and in the Church-yard belonging unto the gray
Friars, who being descended of good and worthie parentage: yet himselfe
was very infamous, and reputed to be the vilest man living, not onely
there in Pistoya, but throughout the whole World beside. Moreover, while
he lived, he had such a strange mishapen body, and his face so ugly
deformed, that such as knew him not, would stand gastly affrighted at
the first sight of him. In regarde whereof, shee considered with her
selfe, that the foule deformitie of this loathed fellow, would greatly
avayle in her determination, and consulting with her Chamber-maid, thus
she spake.
Thou knowest (my most true and faithfull servant) what trouble and
affliction of minde I suffer dayly, by the messages and Letters of the
two Florentines, Rinuccio and Alessandro, how hatefull their importunity
is to me, as being utterly unwilling to hear them speake, or yeeld to
any thing which they desire. Wherefore, to free my selfe from them both
together, I have devised (in regard of their great and liberall offers)
to make trial of them in such a matter, as I am assured they will never
performe.
It is not unknowne to thee, that in the Church-yard of the Gray
Friars, and this instant morning, Scannadio (for so was the ugly fellow
named) was buried; of whom, when he was living, as also now being dead,
both men, women, and children, doe yet stand in feare, so gastly and
dreadfull alwayes was his personall appearance to them.
Wherefore, first of all go thou to Alessandro, and say to him thus.
My Mistris Francesca hath sent me to you, to tell you, that now the time
is come, wherein you may deserve to enjoy her love, and gaine the
possession of her person, if you will accomplish such a motion as she
maketh to you. For some especiall occasion, wherewith hereafter you
shall bee better acquainted, a neere Kinsman of hers, must needs have
the body of Scannadio (who was buried this morning) brought to her
house. And she, being as much affraid of him now he is dead, as when he
was living, by no meanes would have his body brought thither.
In which respect, as a Token of your unfeigned love to her, and the
latest service you shall ever do for her: shee earnestly entreateth you,
that this night, in the very deadest time thereof, you would go to the
grave, where Scannadio lyeth yet uncovered with earth untill to morrow,
and attyring your selfe in his garments, even as if you were the man
himselfe, so to remaine there untill her kinsman doe come.
Then, without speaking any one word, let him take you foorth of the
grave, and bring you thence (insted of Scannadio) to hir house: where
she will give you gentle welcome, and disappoint her Kinsman in his
hope, by making you Lord of her, and all that is hers, as afterward
shall plainly appeare. If he say he wit do it, it is as much as I
desire: but if hee trifle and make deniall, then boldly tell him, that
he must refraine all places wheresoever I am, and forbeare to send me
any more Letters, or messages.
Having done so, then repaire to Rinuccio Palermini, and say. My
Mistresse Francesca is ready to make acceptance of your love; provided,
that you will do one thing for her sake. Namely, this ensuing night, in
the midst and stillest season thereof, to go to the grave where
Scannadio was this morning buried, and (without making any noise) or
speaking one word, whatsoever you shall heare or see: to take him forth
of the grave, and bring him home to her house, wher you shal know the
reason of this strange businesse, and enjoy her freely as your owne for
ever. But if he refuse to do it, then I commaund him, never hereafter to
see me, or move further suite unto mee, by any meanes whatsoever.
The Chamber-maide went to them both, and delivered the severall
messages from her Mistresse, according as she had given her in charge;
whereunto each of them answered, that they woulde (for her sake) not
onely descend into a Grave, but also into hell, if it were her pleasure.
She returning with this answer unto her Mistresse, Francesca remained
in expectation, what the issue of these fond attemptes in them, would
sort unto. When night was come, and the middle houre thereof already
past, Alessandro Chiarmontesi, having put off all other garments to his
doublet and hose; departed secretly from his lodging, walking towards
the Church-yard, where Scannadio lay in his grave: but by the way as he
went, hee became surprized with divers dreadfull conceites and
imaginations, and questioned with himselfe thus.
What a beast am I? What a businesse have I undertaken? And whither am
I going? What do I know, but that the Kinsman unto this Woman, perhappes
understanding mine affection to her, and crediting some such matter, as
is nothing so: hath laide this politicke traine for me, that he may
murther me in the grave? Which (if it should so happen) my life is lost,
and yet the occasion never knowne whereby it was done. Or what know I,
whether some secret enemy of mine (affecting her in like manner, as I
do) have devised this stratagem (out of malice) against mee, to draw my
life in danger, and further his owne good Fortune? Then, contrary
motions, overswaying these suspitions, he questioned his thoughts in
another nature.
Let me (quoth he) admit the case, that none of these surmises are
intended, but her Kinsman (by and in this manner devised) must bring me
into her house: I am not therefore perswaded, that he or they do covet,
to have the body of Scannadio, either to carry it thither, or present it
to her, but rather do aime at some other end. May not I conjecture, that
my close murthering is purposed, and this way acted, as on him that (in
his life time) had offended them? The Maid hath straitly charged me,
that whatsoever is said or done unto me, I am not to speake a word. What
if they pul out mine eies, teare out my teeth, cut off my hands, or do
me any other mischiefe: Where am I then? Shall all these extremities
barre me of speaking? On the other side, if I speake, then I shall be
knowne, and so much the sooner (perhaps) be abused. But admit that I
sustaine no injurie at all, as being guilty of no transgression: yet
(perchance) I shall not be carried to her house, but to some other baser
place, and afterward she shall reprove me, that I did not accomplish
what shee commanded, and so all my labour is utterly lost.
Perplexed with these various contradicting opinions, he was willing
divers times to turne home backe againe: yet such was the violence of
his love, and the power thereof prevailing against all sinister
arguments; as he went to the grave, and removing the boordes covering
it, whereinto he entred; and having despoiled Scannadio of his garments,
cloathed himselfe with them, and so laid him down, having first covered
the grave againe. Not long had hee tarryed there, but he began to
bethinke him, what manner of man Scannadio was, and what strange reports
had bene noised of him, not onely for ransacking dead mens graves in the
night season, but many other abhominable Villanies committed by him,
which so fearfully assaulted him; that his haire stoode on end, every
member of him quaked, and every minute he imagined Scannadio rising,
with intent to strangle him in the grave. But his fervent affection
overcoming all these idle feares, and lying stone still, as if he had
beene the dead man indeede; he remained to see the end of his hope.
On the contrary side, after midnight was past, Rinuccio Palermini
departed from his lodging, to do what hee was enjoyned by his hearts
Mistresse, and as hee went along, divers considerations also ran in his
minde, concerning occasions possible to happen. As, falling into the
hands of Justice, with the body of Scannadio upon his backe, and being
condemned for sacriledge, in robbing graves of the dead; either to be
burned, or otherwise so punished, as might make him hatefull to his best
friends, and meerely a shame to himselfe.
Many other the like conceits mollested him, sufficient to alter his
determination: but affection was much more prevayling in him, and made
him use this consultation. How now Rinuccio? Wilt dare to deny the first
request, being mooved to thee by a Gentlewoman, whom thou dearly lovest,
and is the onely meanes, whereby to gaine assurance of her gracious
favour? Undoubtedly, were I sure to die in the attempt, yet I will
accomplish my promise. And so he went on with courage to the grave.
Alessandro hearing his arrivall, and also the removall of the bords,
although he was exceedingly affraid; yet he lay quietly stil, and
stirred not, and Rinuccio beeing in the grave, tooke Alessandro by the
feete, haling him forth, and (mounting him uppon his backe) went on thus
loden, towards the house of Madam Francesca. As he passed along the
streets, unseene or unmet by any, Alessandro suffered many shrewd
rushings and punches, by turnings at the streets corners, and jolting
against bulkes, poasts, and stalles, which Rinuccio could not avoyd, in
regard the night was so wonderfully darke, as hee could not see which
way he went.
Being come somewhat neere to the Gentlewomans house, and she standing
readie in the Window with her Maide, to see when Rinuccio should arrive
there with Alessandro, provided also of an apt excuse, to send them
thence like a couple of Coxcombes; it fortuned, that the Watchmen,
attending there in the same streete, for the apprehension of a banished
man, stolne into the City contrarie to order; hearing the trampling of
Rinuccioes feete, directed their course as they heard the noise, having
their Lanthorne and light closely covered, to see who it should be, and
what he intended, and beating their weapons against the ground,
demanded, Who goes there? Rinuccio knowing their voyces, and that now
was no time for any long deliberation: let fall Alessandro, and ran away
as fast as his legs could carry him.
Alessandro being risen againe (although he was cloathed in
Scannadioes Garments, which were long and too bigge for him) fledde away
also as Rinuccio did. All which Madame Francesca easily discerned by
helpe of the Watchmens Lanthorne, and how Rinuccio carried Alessandro on
his backe, beeing attired in the Garments of Scannadio: whereat she
mervailed not a litle, as also the great boldnesse of them both. But in
the midst of her mervailing, she laughed very heartily, when she saw the
one let the other fall, and both to runne away so manfully. Which
accident pleasing her beyond all comparison, and applauding her good
Fortune, to bee so happily delivered from their daily mollestation: she
betooke her selfe to hir Chamber with the Maide, avouching solemnly to
her, that (questionlesse) they both affected her dearely, having
undertaken such a straunge imposition, and verie neere brought it to a
finall conclusion.
Rinuccio, being sadly discontented, and curssing his hard fortune,
would not yet returne home to his Lodging: but, when the watch was gone
forth of that streete, came backe to the place where he let fall
Alessandro, purposing to accomplish the rest of his enterprize. But not
finding the body, and remaining fully perswaded, that the Watchmen were
possessed thereof; hee went away, greeving extreamly. And Alessandro,
not knowing now what should become of him: confounded with the like
griefe and sorrow, that all his hope was thus utterly overthrowne,
retired thence unto his owne house, not knowing who was the Porter which
carried him.
The next morning, the grave of Scannadio being found open, and the
body not in it, because Alessandro had thrown it into a deep ditch neere
adjoyning: all the people of Pistoya were possessed with sundry
opinions, some of the more foolish sort verily beleeving, that the
divell had caried away the dead body. Neverthelesse, each of the Lovers
severally made knowne to Madam Francesca, what he had done, and how
disappointed, either excusing himselfe, that though her command had not
bin fully accomplished, yet to continue her favour towards him. But she,
like a wise and discreet Gentlewoman, seeming not to credit either the
one or other: discharged her selfe honestly of them both, with a cutting
answere, That shee would never (afterward) expect any other service from
them, because they had fayled in their first injunction.
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Whereby Is Declared, That Whosoever Is Desirous
To Reprehend Sinne In Other Men, Should First Examine Himselfe, That He
Be Not Guiltie Of The Same Crime.
Madame Usimbalda, Lady Abbesse of a Monastery of Nuns in Lombardie,
arising hastily in the night time without a Candle, to take one of her
Daughter Nunnes in bed with a yong Gentleman, whereof she was enviously
accused, by certaine of her other Sisters: The Abbesse her selfe (being
at the same time in bed with a Priest) imagining to have put on her head
her plaited vayle, put on the Priests breeches. Which when the poore
Nunne perceyved; by causing the Abbesse to see her owne error, she got
her selfe to be absolved, and had the freer liberty afterward, to be
more familiar with her frend, then formerly she had bin.
By this time, Madame Philomena sate silent, and the wit of Francesca,
in freeing her selfe from them whom she could not fancie, was generally
commended: as also on the contrary, the bold presumption of the two
amorous suiters, was reputed not to be love, but meerely folly. And then
the Queene, with a gracious admonition, gave way for Madam Eliza to
follow next; who presently thus began.
Worthy Ladies, Madame Francesca delivered her selfe discreetly from
trouble, as already hath bin related: but a yong Nun, by the helpe and
favour of Fortune, did also free her selfe (in speaking advisedly) from
an inconvenience sodainly falling on her. And as you well know, there
wants none of them, who (like bold Bayards) will be very forward in
checking other mens misdemeanors, when themselves, as my Novell will
approve, deserve more justly to bee corrected. As hapned to a Lady
Abbesse, under whose governement the same young Nunne was, of whom I am
now to speake.
You are then to understand (Gracious Auditors) that in Lombardie
there was a goodly Monastery, very famous for Holinesse and Religion,
where, among other sanctified Sisters, there was a yong Gentlewoman,
endued with very singular beautie, being named Isabella, who on a day,
when a Kinsman of hers came to see her at the grate, became enamored of
a young Gentleman, being then in his company.
He likewise, beholding her to be so admirably beautifull, and
conceyving by the pretty glances of her eye, that they appeared to bee
silent intelligencers of the hearts meaning, grew also as affectionately
inclined towards her, and this mutuall love continued thus concealed a
long while, but not without great affliction unto them both. In the end,
either of them being circumspect and provident enough, the Gentleman
contrived a meanes, whereby he might secretly visite his Nunne,
wherewith she seemed no way discontented: and this visitation was not
for once or twice, but verie often, and closely concealed to themselves.
At length it came to passe, that either through their owne
indiscreete carriage, or jelous suspition in some others: it was espied
by one of the Sisters, both the Gentlemans comming and departing, yet
unknowne to him or Isabella. The saide Sister, disclosing the same to
two or three more: they agreed together, to reveale it to the Lady
Abbesse, who was named Madame Usimbalda, a holy and devout Lady, in
common opinion of all the Nunnes, and whosoever else knew her.
They further concluded (because Isabella should not deny theyr
accusation) to contrive the businesse so cunningly: that the Ladle
Abbesse should come her selfe in person, and take the yong Gentleman in
bed with the Nun. And uppon this determination, they agreed to watch
nightly by turnes, because by no meanes they wold be prevented: so to
surprise poore Isabella, who beeing ignorant of their treachery,
suspected nothing. Presuming thus still on this secret felicitie, and
fearing no disaster to befall her: it chaunced (on a night) that the
yong Gentleman being entred into the Nuns Dorter, the Scowts had
descried him, and intended to be revenged on her.
After some part of the night was overpast, they divided themselves
into two bands, one to guard Isabellaes Dorter doore, the other to carry
newes to the Abbesse, and knocking at her Closet doore, saide. Rise
quickely Madame, and use all the hast you may, for we have seene a man
enter our Sister Isabellaes Dorter, and you may take her in bed with
him. The Lady Abbesse, who (the very same night) had the company of a
lusty Priest in bed with her selfe, as oftentimes before she had, and he
being alwayes brought thither in a Chest: hearing these tidings, and
fearing also, lest the Nunnes hastie knocking at her doore, might cause
it to fly open, and so (by their entrance) have her owne shame
discovered: arose very hastily, and thinking she had put on her plaited
vaile, which alwayes she walked with in the night season, and used to
tearme her Psalter; she put the Priests breeches upon her head, and so
went away in all hast with them, supposing them verily to be her
Psalter: but making fast the Closet doore with her keye, because the
Priest should not be discovered.
Away shee went in all haste with the Sisters, who were so forward in
the detection of poore Isabella, as they never regarded what manner of
vaile the Lady Abbesse wore on her head. And being come to the Dorter
doore, quickly they lifted it off from the hookes, and being entred,
found the two Lovers sweetly imbracing: but yet so amazed at this sudden
surprisall, as they durst not stirre, nor speake one word. The young
Nunne Isabella, was raised forthwith by the other Sisters, and according
as the Abbesse had comanded, was brought by them into the Chapter-house:
the yong Gentleman remaining still in the Chamber, where he put on his
garments, awaiting to see the issue of this businesse, and verily
intending to act severe revenge on his betrayers, if any harme were done
to Isabella, and afterward to take her thence away with him, as meaning
to make her amends by marriage.
The Abbesse being seated in the Chapter house, and all the other
Nunnes then called before her, who minded nothing else but the poore
offending Sister: she began to give her very harsh and vile speeches, as
never any transgressor suffered the like, and as to her who had (if it
should be openly knowne abroad) contaminated by her lewde life and
actions, the sanctity and good renowne of the whole Monastery, and
threatned her with very severe chastisement. Poore Isabella, confounded
with feare and shame, as being no way able to excuse her fault, knew not
what answer to make, but standing silent, made her case compassionable
to all the rest, even those hard-hearted Sisters which betrayed her.
And the Abbesse still continuing her harsh speeches, it fortuned,
that Isabella raising her head, which before she dejected into hir
bosome, espied the breeches on her head, with the stockings hanging on
either side of her; the sight whereof did so much encourage her, that
boldly she said. Madam, let a poore offender advise you for to mend your
veile, and afterward say to me what you will.
The Abbesse being very angry; and not understanding what she meant,
frowningly answered. Why how now saucy companion? What vaile are you
prating of? Are you so malapert, to bee chatting already? Is the deed
you have done, to be answered in such immodest manner? Isabella not a
jot danted by her sterne behaviour, once againe said. Good Madam let me
perswade you to sette your vaile right, and then chide me as long as you
will. At these words, all the rest of the Nunnes exalted their lookes,
to behold what vaile the Abbesse wore on her head, wherewith Isabella
should finde such fault, and she her selfe lift up her hand to feele it:
and then they all perceyved plainly, the reason of Isabellas speeches,
and the Abbesse saw her owne error.
Hereupon, when the rest observed, that she had no help to cloud this
palpable shame withall, the tide began to turne, and hir tongue found
another manner of Language, then her former fury to poore Isabella,
growing to this conclusion, that it is impossible to resist against the
temptations of the flesh. And therefore she saide: Let all of you take
occasion, according as it offereth it selfe, as both we and our
predecessors have done: to be provident for your selves, take time while
you may, having this sentence alwaies in remembrance, Si non caste,
tamen caute.
So, having granted the yong Nunne Isabella free absolution: the Lady
Abbesse returned backe againe to bed to the Priest, and Isabella to the
Gentleman. As for the other Sisters, who (as yet) were without the
benefit of friends; they intended to provide themselves so soone as they
could, being enduced thereto by so good example.
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Discovering The Simplicity Of Some Silly Witted
Men, And How Easie A Matter It Is To Abuse And Beguile Them.
Master Simon the Physitian, by the perswasions of Bruno, Buffalmaco, and
a third Companion, named Nello, made Calandrino to beleeve, that he was
conceived great with childe. And having Physicke ministred to him for
the disease: they got both good fatte Capons and money of him, and so
cured him, without any other man of deliverance.
After that Madame Eliza had concluded her Novell, and every one of
the company given thankes to Fortune, for delivering poore Isabella the
faire young Nunne, from the bitter reprehensions of the as faulty
Abbesse, as also the malice of her envious Sisters; the Queene gave
command unto Philostratus, that he should be the next in order, and hee
(without expecting anie other warning) began in this manner.
Faire Ladies, the paltry Judge of the Marquisate, whereof yesterday I
made relation to you; hindred mee then of another Novell, concerning
silly Calandrino, wherewith I purpose now to acquaint you. And because
whatsoever hath already bin spoken of him, tended to no other end but
matter of meriment, hee and his companions duly considered; the Novel
which I shal now report, keepeth within the selfesame compasse, and
aimeth also at your contentment, according to the scope of imposed
variety.
You have already heard what manner of man Calandrino was, and
likewise the rest of his pleasant Companions, who likewise are now
againe to be remembred, because they are actors in our present
discourse. It came so to passe, that an Aunt of Calandrinoes dying, left
him a legacy of two hundred Florines, wherewith he purposed to purchase
some small Farme-house in the countrey, or else to enlarge the other,
whereof he was possessed already. And, as if bee were to disburse some
ten thousand Florines, there was not a Broker in all Florence, but
understood what he intended to doe: and all the worst was, that the
strings of his purse could stretch no higher. Bruno, and Buffalmaco (his
auncient Confederates) who heard of this good Fortune befalne him,
advised him in such manner as they were wont to do; allowing it much
better for him, to make merrie with the money in good cheare among them,
then to lay it out in paltry Land, whereto he would not by any meanes
listen, but ridde himselfe of them with a dinners cost, as loath to bee
at anie further charge with them.
These merry Laddes meant not to leave him so; but sitting one day in
serious consultation, and a third man in their companie, named Nello;
they all three layde their braines in steep, by what means to wash their
mouths well, and Calandrino to bee at the cost thereof.
And having resolved what was to bee done, they met togither the next
morning, even as Calandrino was comming foorth of his house, and
sundering themselves, to avoyd all suspition, yet beeing not farre
distant each from other; Nello first met him, and saide unto him, Good
Morrow Calandrino: which he requited backe agayne with the same
salutation. But then Nello standing still, looked him stedfastly in the
face: whereat Calandrino mervailing, sayd. Nello.
Why dost thou behold me so advisedly? Whereunto Nello answered,
saying Hast thou felt any paine this last night past? Thou lookest
nothing so well, as thou didst yesterday. Calandrino began instantly to
wax doubtfull, and replyed thus. Dost thou see any alteration in my
face, whereby to imagine, I should feele some paine? In good faith
Calandrino (quoth Nello) me thinks thy countenance is strangely changed,
and surely it proceedeth from some great cause, and so he departed away
from him.
Calandrino being very mistrustfull, scratched his head, yet felte he
no grievance at all; and going still on; Buffalmaco sodainely encountred
him, upon his departure from Nello, and after salutations passing
betweene them; in a manner of admiration, demanded what he ayled?
Truly (quoth Calandrino) well enough to mine owne thinking, yet
notwithstanding, I met with Nello but even now; and he told me, that my
countenance was very much altred; Is it possible that I should bee
sicke, and feele no paine or distaste in any part of me? Buffalmaco
answered; I am not so skilfull in judgement, as to argue on the Nature
of distemper in the body: but sure I am, that thou hast some daungerous
inward impediment, because thou lookst (almost) like a man more then
halfe dead.
Calandrino began presently to shake, as if hee had had a Feaver
hanging on him, and then came Bruno looking fearefully on him, and
before he would utter any words, seemed greatly to bemoane him, saying
at length. Calandrino? Art thou the same man, or no? How wonderfuly art
thou changed since last I saw thee, which is no longer then yester day?
I pray thee tell mee, How dooest thou feele thy health?
Calandrino hearing, that they all agreed in one opinion of him; he
beganne verily to perswade himselfe, that some sodaine sicknes, had
seised upon him, which they could discerne, although hee felt no anguish
at all: and therefore, like a man much perplexed in minde, demanded of
them, What he should do? Beleeve me Calandrino (answered Bruno) if I
were worthy to give thee counsell, thou shouldst returne home presently
to thy house, and lay thee downe in thy warme Bedde, covered with so
many cloathes as thou canst well endure. Then to Morrow morning, send
thy Water unto Learned Mayster Doctor the Physitian, who (as thou
knowest) is a man of most singular skill and experience: he will
instruct thee presently what is the best course to be taken, and we that
have ever beene thy loving friends, will not faile thee in any thing
that lieth in our power.
By this time, Nello being come againe unto them, they all returned
home with Calandrino unto his owne house, whereinto he entering very
faintly, hee saide to his Wife: Woman, make my Bed presently ready, for
I feele my selfe to be growne extreamely sicke, and see that thou layest
cloathes enow upon me. Being thus laide in his Bedde, they left him for
that night, and returned to visite him againe the verie next morning, by
which time, he had made a reservation of his Water, and sent it by a
young Damosell unto Maister Doctor, who dwelt then in the olde market
place, at the signe of the Muske Mellone. Then saide Bruno unto his
Companions; Abide you heere to keepe him company, and I will walke along
to the Physitian, to understand what he will say: and if neede be, I can
procure him to come hither with me. Calandrino very kindely accepted his
offer, saying withall. Well Bruno, thou shewst thy selfe a friend in the
time of necessity, I pray thee know of him, how the case stands with me,
for I feele a very strange alteration within mee, far beyond all
compasse of my conceite.
Bruno being gone to the Physitian, he made such expedition, that he
arrived there before the Damosell, who carried the Water, and informed
Master Simon with the whole tricke intended: wherefore, when the
Damosell was come, and hee had passed his judgement concerning the
water, he said to her.
Maide, go home againe, and tell Calandrino, that he must keep
himselfe very warme: and I my selfe will instantly be with him, to
enstruct him further in the quality of his sicknesse.
The Damosell delivered her message accordingly, and it was not long
before Mayster Doctor Simon came, with Bruno also in his company, and
sitting downe on the beds side by Calandrino, hee began to taste his
pulse, and within a small while after, his Wife being come into the
Chamber, he said. Observe me well Calandrino, for I speake to thee in
the nature of a true friend; thou hast no other disease, but only thou
art great with child.
So soone as Calandrino heard these words, in dispairing manner he
beganne to rage, and cry out aloud, saying to his wife Ah thou wicked
woman, this is long of thee, and thou hast done me this mischeefe for
alwayes thou wilt be upon me, ever railing at mee, and fighting, untill
thou hast gotten me under thee. Say thou divellish creature, do I not
tell thee true? The Woman, being of verie honest and civill
conversation, hearing her husband speake so foolishly: blushing with
shame, and hanging downe her head in bashfull manner; without returning
any answer, went forth of her Chamber.
Calandrino continuing still in his angry humour, wringing his hands,
and beating them upon his breast, said: Wretched man that I am, What
shall I do? How shal I be delivered of this child? Which way can it come
from me into the world? I plainly perceyve, that I am none other then a
dead man, and all through the wickednesse of my Wife: heaven plague her
with as many mischiefes, as I am desirous to finde ease. Were I now in
as good health, as heere-tofore I have beene, I would rise out of my
bed, and never cease beating her, untill I had broken her in a thousand
peeces. But if Fortune will be so favourable to me, as to helpe mee out
of this dangerous agony: hang me, if ever she get me under her againe,
or make me such an Asse, in having the mastery over mee, as diuers times
she hath done.
Bruno, Buffalmaco and Nello, hearing these raving speeches of
Calandrino, were swolne so bigge with laughter, as if their ribbes would
have burst in sunder; neverthelesse, they abstained so well as they were
able; but Doctor Simon gaped so wide with laughing as one might easily
have pluckt out all his teeth. In the end, because he could tarry there
no longer, but was preparing to depart: Calandrino thanked him for his
paines, requesting that hee would be carefull of him, in aiding him with
his best advise and counsell, and he would not be unmindfull of him.
Honest neighbour Calandrino, answered the Phisition, I would not have
you to torment your selfe, in such an impatient and tempestuous manner,
because I perceive the time so to hasten on, as we shall soone perceive
(and that within very few dayes space) your health well restored, and
without the sense of much paine; but indeed it wil cost expences. Alas
Sir, said Calandrino, mak not any spare of my purse, to procure that I
may have safe deliverance. I have two hundred Florines, lately falne to
me by the death of mine Aunt, wherewith I intended to purchase a Farme
in the Countrey: take them all if need be, onely reserving some few for
my lying in Childbed. And then Master Doctor, Alas, I know not how to
behave my selfe, for I have heard the grievous complaint of women in
that case, oppressed with bitter pangs and throwes; as questionlesse
they will bee my death, except you have the greater care of me.
Be of good cheere neighbour Calandrino, replyed Doctor Simon, I will
provide an excellent distilled drinke for you, marveilously pleasing in
taste, and of soveraigne vertue, which will resolve all in three
mornings, making you as whole and as sound as a Fish newly spawned. But
you must have an especiall care afterward, being providently wise, least
you fall into the like follies againe. Concerning the preparation of
this precious drinke, halfe a dozen of Capons, the very fairest and
fattest, I must make use of in the distillation: what other things shall
bee imployed beside, you may deliver forty Florines to one of these your
honest friends, to see all the necessaries bought and sent me home to my
house. Concerning my businesse, make you no doubt thereof, for I will
have all distilled against to morrow, and then doe you drinke a great
Glasse full every morning, fresh and fasting next your heart. Calandrino
was highly pleased with his words, returning master Doctor infinite
thankes, and referring all to his disposing. And having given forty
Florines to Bruno, with other money beside, to buy the halfe dozen of
Capons: he thought himselfe greatly beholding to them all, and protested
to requite their kindenesse.
Master Doctor being gone home to his house, made ready a bottel of
very excellent Hypocrasse, which he sent the next day according to his
promise: and Bruno having bought the Capons, with other junkets, fit for
the turne, the Phisitian and his merry Companions, fed on them hartely
for the givers sake. As for Calandrino, he liked his dyet drinke
excellently well, quaffing a large Glassefull off three mornings
together: afterward Master Doctor and the rest came to see him, and
having felt his pulse, the Phisition said. Calandrino, thou art now as
sound in health, as any man in all Florence can be: thou needest not to
keepe within doores any longer, but walke abroad boldly, for all is well
and the childe gone.
Calandrino arose like a joyfull man, and walked daily through the
streets, in the performance of such affaires as belonged to him: and
every acquaintance he met withall, he told the condition of his sudden
sickenesse; and what a rare cure Master Doctor Simon had wrought on him,
delivering him (in three dayes space) of a childe, and without the
feeling of any paine. Bruno, Buffalmaco, and Nello, were not a little
jocond, for meeting so well with covetous Calandrino: but how the Wife
liked the folly of her Husband, I leave to the judgement of all good
Women.
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Serving As An Admonition To All Men, For Taking
Gamesters And Drunkards Into Their Service.
Francesco Fortarigo, played away all that he had at Buonconvento, and
likewise the money of Francesco Aniolliero, being his Master. Then
running after him in his shirt, and avouching that hee had robbed him:
he caused him to be taken by Pezants of the Country, clothed himselfe in
his Masters wearing garments, and (mounted on his horse) rode thence to
Sienna, leaving Aniolliero in his shirt, and walked barefooted.
The ridiculous words given by Calandrino to his Wife, all the whole
company hartily laughed at: but a Philostratus ceassing, Madame Neiphila
(as it pleased the Queene to appoint) began to speake thus. Vertuous
Ladies, if it were not more hard and uneasie for men, to make good their
understanding and vertue, then apparant publication of their disgrace
and folly; many would not labour in vaine, to curbe in their idle
speeches with a bridle, as you have manifestly observed by the weake wit
of Calandrino. Who needed no such fantastick circumstance, to cure the
strange disease, which he imagined (by sottish perswasions) to have: had
hee not been so lavish of his tongue, and accused his Wife of
overmastering him. Which maketh me remember a Novell, quite contrary to
this last related, namely, how one man may strive to surmount another in
malice; yet he to sustaine the greater harme, that had (at the first)
the most advantage of his enemy, as I will presently declare unto you.
There dwelt in Sienna, and not many yeeres since, two young men of
equall age, both of them bearing the name of Francesco: but the one was
descended of the Aniollieri, and the other likewise of the Fortarigi; so
that they were commonly called Aniolliero, and Fortarigo, both
Gentlemen, and well derived. Now, although in many other matters, their
complexions did differ very much: Yet notwithstanding, they varied not
in one bad qualitie, namely too great neglect of their Fathers, which
caused their more frequent conversation, as very familiar and respective
friends. But Aniolliero (being a very goodly and faire conditioned young
Gentleman) apparently perceiving, that he could not maintaine himselfe
at Sienna, in such estate as he liked, and upon the pension allowed him
by his Father, hearing also, that at the Marquisate of Ancona, there
lived the Popes Legate, a worthy Cardinall, his much indeared good Lord
and friend: he intended to goe visite him, as hoping to advance his
fortunes by him.
Having acquainted his Father with this determination, he concluded
with him, to have that from him in a moment which might supply his wants
because he would be clothed gallantly, and mounted honourably. And
seeking for a servant necessary to attend on him, it chanced that
Fortarigo hearing thereof, came presently to Aniolliero, intreating him
in the best manner he could, to let him waite on him as his serving man,
promising both dutiful and diligent attendance: yet not to deaund any
other wages, but onely payment of his ordinary expences. Aniolliero made
him answere, that he durst not give him entertainment, not in regard of
his insufficiency, and unaptnesse for service: but because he was a
great Gamester, and divers times would be beastly drunke? whereto
Fortarigo replyed that hee would refraine from both those foule vices,
and addict all his endeavor wholly to please him, without just taxation
of any grosse errour; making such solemne vowes and protestations
beside, as conquered Aniolliero, and won his consent.
Being entred upon his journey, and arriving in a morning at
Buonconvento, there Aniolliero determined to dine, and afterward,
finding the heate to be unfit for travaile; he caused a bed to be
prepared, wherein being laid to rest by the helpe of Fortarigo, he gave
him charge, that after the heates violence was overpast, hee should not
faile to call and awake him. While Aniolliero slept thus in his bed,
Fortarigo, never remembring his solemne vowes and promises: went to the
Taverne, where having drunke indifferently, and finding company fit for
the purpose, he fell to play at the dice with them. In a very short
while, he had not onely lost his money, but all the cloathes on his
backe likewise, and coveting to recover his losses againe; naked in his
shirt, he went to Aniollieroes Chamber, where finding him yet soundly
sleeping, he tooke all the money he had in his purse, and then returned
backe to play, speeding in the same manner as hee did before, not having
one poore penny left him.
Aniolliero chancing to awake, arose and made him ready, without any
servant to helpe him; then calling for Fortarigo, and not hearing any
tydings of him: he began immediately to imagine, that he was become
drunke, and so had falne asleepe in one place or other, as very often he
was wont to doe. Wherefore, determining so to leave him, he caused the
male and Saddle to be set on his horse, and so to furnish himselfe with
a more honest servant at Corsignano.
But when hee came to pay his hoste, hee found not any penny left him:
whereupon (as well he might) he grew greatly offended, and raised much
trouble in the house, charged the hoasts people to have robde him, and
threatening to have them sent as prisoners to Sienna. Suddenly entred
Fortarigo in his shirt, with intent to have stolne Aniollieroes
garments, as formerly hee did the money out of his purse, and seeing him
ready to mount on horsebacke, hee saide.
How now Aniolliero? What shall we goe away so soone? I pray you Sir
tarry a little while, for an honest man is comming hither, who hath my
Doublet engaged for eight and thirty shillings; and I am sure that he
will restore it me back for five and thirty, if I could presently pay
him downe the money.
During the speeches, an other entred among them, who assured
Aniolliero, that Fortarigo was the Thiefe which robde him of his money,
shewing him also how much hee had lost at the Dice: Wherewith Aniolliero
being much mooved, very angerly reprooved Fortarigo, and, but for feare
of the Law, would have offered him outrage, thretning to have him hangd
by the neck, or else condemned to the Gallies belonging to Florence, and
so mounted on his horse. Fortarigo making shew to the standers by, as if
Aniolliero menaced some other body, and not him, said. Come Aniolliero,
I pray thee let us leave this frivilous prating, for (indeede) it is not
worth a Button, and minde a matter of more importance: my Doublet will
bee had againe for five and thirty shillings, if the money may bee
tendered downe at this very instant, whereas if we deferre it till to
morrow, perhaps hee will then have the whole eight and thirty which he
lent me, and he doth me this pleasure, because I am ready (at another
time) to affoord him the like courtesie; why then should we loose three
shillings, when they may so easily be saved.
Aniolliero hearing him speake in such confused manner, and perceiving
also, that they which stood gazing by, beleeved (as by their lookes
appeared) that Fortarigo had not played away his Masters mony at the
Dice, but rather that he had some stocke of Fortarigoes in his custody;
angerly answered; Thou sawcy companion, what have I to doe with thy
Doublet? I would thou wert hangd, not only for playing away my money,
but also by delaying thus my journey, and yet boldly thou standest
out-facing mee, as if I were no better then thy fellow. Fortarigo held
on still his former behaviour, without using any respect or reverence to
Aniolliero, as if all the accusations did not concerne him, but saying,
Why should wee not take the advantage of three shillings profit?
Thinkest thou, that I am not able to doe as much for thee? why, lay out
so much money for my sake, and make no more haste then needs we must,
because we have day-light enough to bring us (before night) to
Torreniero. Come, draw thy purse, and pay the money, for upon mine
honest word, I may enquire throughout all Sienna, and yet not find such
another Doublet as this of mine is. To say then, that I should leave it,
where it now lyeth pawned, and for eight and thirty shillings, when it
is richly more worth then fifty, I am sure to suffer a double
endammagement thereby.
You may well imagine, that Aniolliero was now enraged beyond all
patience, to see himselfe both robde of his money, and overborne with
presumptuous language: wherefore, without making any more replications,
he gave the spurre to his horse, and rode away towards Torreniero. Now
fell Fortarigo into a more knavish intention against Aniolliero, and
being very speedy in running, followed apace after him in his shirt,
crying out still aloude to him all the way, to let him have his Doublet
againe. Aniolliero riding on very fast, to free his eares from this idle
importunity, it fortuned that Fortarigo espied divers countrey Pezants,
laboring in the fields about their businesse, and by whom Aniolliero (of
necessity) must passe: To them he cryed out so loude as he could; Stay
the thiefe, Stop the Thiefe, he rides away so fast, having robde me.
They being provided, some with Prongges, Pitchforkes and Spades, and
others with the like weapons fit for Husbandry, stept into the way
before Aniolliero: and beleeving undoubtedly, that he had robde the man
which pursued him in his shirt, stayed and apprehended him. Whatsoever
Aniolliero could doe or say, prevailed not any thing with the unmannerly
Clownes, but when Fortarigo was arrived among them, he braved Aniolliero
most impudently, saying.
What reason have I to spoyle thy life (thou traiterous Villaine) to
rob and spoyle thy Master thus on the high way? Then turning to the
Countrey Boores: How much deare friends (quoth he) am I beholding to you
for this unexpected kindnesse? You behold in what manner he left me in
my Lodging, having first playd away all my money at the Dice, and then
deceiving me of my horse and garments also: but had not you (by great
good lucke) thus holpe mee to stay him; a poore Gentleman had bin undone
for ever, and I should never have found him againe.
Aniolliero avouched the truth of his wrong received, but the base
peazants, giving credite onely to Fortarigoes lying exclamations: tooke
him from his horse, despoyled him of all his wearing apparrell, even to
the very Bootes from off his Legges: suffered him to ride away from him
in that manner, and Aniolliero left so in his shirt, to dance a bare
foote Galliard after him either towards Sienna, or any place else.
Thus Aniolliero, purposing to visite his Cousin the Cardinal like a
Gallant, and at the Marquisate of Ancona, returned backe poorly in his
shirt unto Buonconvento, and durst not (for shame) repaire to Sienna. In
the end, he borrowed money on the other horse which Fortarigo rode on,
and remained there in the Inne, whence riding to Corsignano, where he
had divers Kinsmen and Friends, he continued there so long with them,
till he was better furnished from his Father.
Thus you may perceive, that the cunning Villanies of Fortarigo,
hindred the honest intended enterprise of Aniolliero howbeit in fit time
and place, nothing afterward was left unpunished.
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In Just Reprehension Of Those Vaineheaded
Fooles, That Are Led And Governed By Idle Perswasions.
Calandrino became extraordinarily enamoured of a young Damosell, named
Nicholetta. Bruno prepared a Charme or writing for him, avouching
constantly to him, that so soone as he touched the Damosell therewith,
she should follow him whithersoever hee would have her. She being gone
to an appointed place with him, hee was found there by his wife, and
dealt withall according to his deserving.
Because the Novell reported by Madame Neiphila was so soone
concluded, without much laughter, or commendation of the whole Company:
the Queene turned hir selfe towards Madam Fiammetta, enjoyning her to
succeed in apt order; and she being as ready as sodainly commanded,
began as followeth. Most gentle Ladies, I am perswaded of your opinion
in judgement with mine, that there is not any thing, which can bee
spoken pleasingly, except it be conveniently suited with apt time and
place: in which respect, when Ladies and Gentlewomen are bent to
discoursing, the due election of them both are necessarily required. And
therefore I am not unmindfull, that our meeting heere (ayming at nothing
more, then to outweare the time with our generall contentment) should
tye us to the course of our pleasure and recreation, to the same
conveniency of time and place; not sparing, though some have bin
nominated oftentimes in our passed arguments; yet, if occasion serve,
and the nature of variety be well considered, wee may speake of the
selfesame persons againe.
Now, notwithstanding the actions of Calandrino have beene
indifferently canvazed among us; yet, remembring what Philostratus not
long since saide, That they intended to nothing more then matter of
mirth: I presume the boldlier, to report another Novell of him, beside
them already past. And, were I willing to conceale the truth, and cloath
it in more circumstantiall maner: I could make use of contrary names,
and paint it in a poeticall fiction, perhaps more probable, though not
so pleasing. But because wandring from the truth of things, doth much
diminish (in relatic the delight of the hearers: I will build boldly on
my fore-alledged reason, and tel you truly how it hapned.
Niccholao Cornacchini was once a Citizen of ours, and a man of great
wealth; who, among other his rich possessions in Camerata, builded there
a very goodly house, which being perfected ready for painting: he
compounded with Bruno and Buffalmaco who bicause their worke required
more helpe then their owne, they drew Nello and Calandrino into their
association, and began to proceed in their businesse. And because there
was a Chamber or two, having olde moveables in them, as Bedding, Tables,
and other Houshold stuffe beside, which were in the custody of an old
Woman that kepte the house, without the helpe of any other servants
else, a Son unto the saide Niccholao, beeing named Phillippo, resorted
thither divers times, with one or other prety Damosell in his company
(in regard he was unmarried) where he would abide a day or two with her,
and then convey her home againe.
At one time among the rest, it chanced that he brought a Damosell
thither named Nicholetta, who was maintained by a wily companion, called
Magione, in a dwelling which hee had at Camaldoli, and (indeed) no
honester then she should be. She was a very beautifull young woman,
wearing garments of great value, and (according to her quality) well
spoken, and of commendable carriage. Comming forth of her Chamber one
day, covered with a White veyle, because her haire hung loose about her,
which shee went to wash at a Well in the middle Court, bathing there
also her face and hands: Calandrino going (by chance) to the same Well
for water, gave her a secret salutation. She kindly returning the like
courtesie to him, began to observe him advisedly: more, because he
looked like a man newly come thither, then any handsomnesse she
perceyved in him.
Calandrino threw wanton glances at her, and seeing she was both faire
and lovely, began to finde some occasion of tarrying, so that he
returned not with water to his other associates, yet neither knowing
her, or daring to deliver one word. She, who was not to learn her lesson
in alluring, noting what affectionate regards (with bashfulnesse) he
gave her: answered him more boldly with the like; but meerly in scorning
manner, breathing forth divers dissembled sighs among them: so that
Calandrino became foolishly inveigled with her love, and would not
depart out of the Court, until Phillippo, standing above in his Chamber
window called her thence.
When Calandrino was returned backe to his businesse, he could do
nothing else, but shake the head, sigh, puffe, and blowe, which being
observed by Bruno (who alwayes fitted him according to his folly, as
making a meer mockery of his very best behaviour) sodainly he said. Why
how now Calandrino? Sigh, puffe, and blow man? What may be the reason of
these unwonted qualities? Calandrino immediately answered, saying: My
friendly Companion Bruno, if I had one to lend me a little helpe, I
should very quickely become well enough. How? quoth Bruno, doth any
thing offend thee, and wilt thou not reveale it to thy friend Deare
Bruno, said Calandrino, there is a proper handsome woman here in the
house, the goodliest creature that ever any eye beheld, much fairer then
the Queen of Fairies her selfe, who is so deeply falne in love with mee,
as thou wouldst thinke it no lesse then a wonder; and yet I never sawe
her before, till yer while when I was sent to fetch water. A very
strange case, answered Bruno, take heede Calandrino, that shee bee not
the lovely friend to Phillippo, our yong Master, for then it may prove a
dangerous matter.
Calandrino stood scratching his head an indifferent while, and then
sodainly replyed thus. Now trust me Bruno, it is to bee doubted, because
he called her at his Window, and she immediatly went up to his Chamber.
But what doe I care if it be so? Have not the Gods themselves bene
beguiled of their Wenches, who were better men then ever Phillippo can
be, and shall I stand in feare of him? Bruno replied: Be patient
Calandrino, I will enquire what Woman she is, and if she be not the wife
or friend to our young master Phillippo, with faire perswasions I can
over-rule the matter, because shee is a familiar acquaintance of mine.
But how shall wee doe, that Buffalmaco may not know heereof? I can never
speake to her, if hee be in my company. For Buffalmaco (quoth
Calandrino) I have no feare at all, but rather of Nello, because he is a
neer Kinsman to my wife, and he is able to undo me quite, if once it
should come to his hearing. Thou saist well, replyed Bruno, therefore
the matter hath neede to be very cleanly carried.
Now let me tell you, the Woman was well enough knowne to Bruno, as
also her quality of life, which Phillippo had acquainted him withall,
and the reason of her resorting thither. Wherefore, Calandrino going
forth of the roome where they wrought, onely to gaine another sight of
Nicholetta, Bruno revealed the whole history to Buffalmaco and Nello;
they all concluding together, how this amorous fit of the foole was to
be followed. And when Calandrino was returned backe againe; in
whispering maner Bruno said to him. Hast thou once more seene her? Yes,
yes Bruno, answered Calandrino: Alas, she hath slaine me with her very
eye, and I am no better then a dead man. Be patient said Bruno, I will
goe and see whether she be the same woman which I take her for, or no:
and if it prove so, then never feare, but refer the businesse unto me.
Bruno descending downe the staires, found Phillippo and Nicholetta in
conference together, and stepping unto them, discoursed at large, what
manner of man Calandrino was, and how farre he was falne in love with
her: so that they made a merry conclusion, what should be performed in
this case, onely to make a pastime of his hot begun love. And being come
backe againe to Calandrino, he saide. It is the same woman whereof I
told thee, and therefore wee must worke wisely in the businesse: for if
Phillippo perceive any thing, all the water in Arno will hardly serve to
quench his fury. But what wouldst thou have me say to her on thy
behalfe, if I compasse the meanes to speake with her? First of all
(quoth Calandrino) and in the prime place, tell her, that I wish
infinite bushels of those blessings, which makes Maides Mothers, and
begetteth children. Next, that I am onely hers, in any service she wil
command me. Dooest thou understand me what I say? Sufficiently answered
Bruno, leave all to me.
When supper time was come, that they gave over working, and were
descended downe into the Court: there they found Phillippo and
Nicholetta readily attending to expect some beginning of amorous
behaviour, and Calandrino glanced such leering lookes at her, coughing
and spetting with hummes and haes, yea in such close and secret manner,
that a starke blinde sight might verie easily have perceyved it.
She also on the other side, returned him such queint and cunning
carriage, as enflamed him farre more furiously, even as if hee were
ready to leape out of himselfe. In the meane while, Phillippo,
Buffalmaco and the rest that were there present, seeming as if they were
seriouslie consulting together, and perceived nothing of his fantastick
behavior, according as Bruno had appointed, could scarse refraine from
extremity of laughter, they noted such antick trickes in Calandrino.
Having spent an indifferent space in this foppish folly, the houre of
parting came, but not without wonderful affliction to Calandrino; and as
they were going towards Florence, Bruno saide closely to Calandrino. I
dare assure thee, that thou hast made her to consume and melt, even like
ice against the warme Sunne. On my word, if thou wouldst bring thy
Gitterne, and sit downe by us, singing some few amorous songs of thine
owne making, when we are beneath about our businesse in the Court: shee
would presently leape out of the Window, as being unable to tarry from
thee.
I like thy counsell well Bruno, answered Calandrino; but shall I
bring my Gitterne thither indeed? Yes, in any case, replied Bruno, for
Musicke is a matter of mighty prevailing. Ah Bruno (quoth Calandrino)
thou wouldst not credit me in the morning, when I tolde thee, how the
very sight of my person had wounded her: I perceived it at the very
first looke of her owne, for shee had no power to conceale it. Who but
my selfe could so soone have enflamed her affection, and being a woman
of such worth and beauty as shee is? There are infinite proper handsome
fellowes, that daily haunt the company of dainty Damosels, yet are so
shallow in the affayres of love, as they are not able to win one wench
of a thousand, no, not with all the wit they have, such is their
extreame follie and ill fortune.
Then pausing a while, and sodainely rapping out a Lovers Oath or two,
thus he proceeded. My dearest Bruno, thou shalt see how I can tickle my
Gitterne, and what good sport will ensue thereon. If thou dost observe
me with judgement, why man, I am not so old as I seeme to be, and she
could perceive it at the very first view; yea, and she shall finde it so
too, when we have leysure to consult upon further occasions: I finde my
selfe in such a free and frolicke jocunditie of spirit, that I will make
her to follow me, even as a fond woman doth after her child.
But beware, saide Bruno, that thou do not gripe her over-hard, and in
kissing, bee carefull of biting, because the teeth stand in thy head
like the pegges of a Lute, yet make a comely shew in thy faire wide
mouth, thy cheekes looking like two of our artificiall Roses, swelling
amiably, when thy jawes are well fild with meat. Calandrino hearing
these hansome comnendations, thought himselfe a man of action already,
going, singing, and frisking before his companie so lively, as if he had
not bin in his skin.
On the morrow, carrying his Gitterne thither with him, to the no
little delight of his companions, hee both played and sung a whole
Bed-role of himselfe to any worke all the day: but loitering
fantastically, one while he gazed out at the window, then ran to the
gate, and oftentimes downe into the Court onely to have a sight of his
Mistresse. She also (as cunningly) encountred all his ollies, by such
directions as Bruno gave her, and many more beside of her owne devising,
to quicken him still with new occasions: Bruno plaid the Ambassador
betweene them, in delivering the messages from Calandrino, and then
returning her answers to him. Sometimes when she was absent thence
(which often hapned as occasions called her) then he would write letters
in her name, and bring them, as if they were sent by her, to give him
hope of what hee desired, but because she was then among her kindred,
yet she could not be unmindfull of him.
In this manner, Bruno and Buffalmaco (who had the managing of this
amorous businesse) made a meere Gregory of poore Calandrino, causing him
somtimes to send her, one while a pretty peece of Ivory, then a faire
wrought purse, and a costly paire of knives, with other such like
friendly tokens: bringing him backe againe, as in requital of them,
counterfetted Rings of no valew, Bugles and bables, which he esteemed as
matters of great moment. Moreover, at divers close and sodain meetings,
they made him pay for many dinners and suppers, amounting to indifferent
charges, onely to be careful in the furtherance of his lovesuit, and to
conceale it from his wife. Having worne out three or foure months space
in this fond and frivolous manner, without any other successe then as
hath bene declared; and Calandrino perceiving, that the worke undertaken
by him and his fellowes, grew very neere uppon the finishing, which
would barre him of any longer resorting thither: hee began to solicite
Bruno more importunately, then all the while before he hadde done. In
regard whereof Nicholetta being one day come thither, and Bruno having
conferred both with her and Phillippo, with ful determination what was
to be done, he began with Calandrino, saying. My honest Neighbour and
Friend, this Woman hath made a thousand promises, to graunt what thou
art so desirous to have, and I plainly perceive that she hath no such
meaning, but meerely plaies with both our noses. In which respect,
seeing she is so perfidious, and will not perfourme one of all her
faithfull-made promises: if thou wilt consent to have it so, she shall
be compelled to do it whether she will or no. Yea marry Bruno, answered
Calandrino, that were an excellent course indeede, if it could be done,
and with expedition.
Bruno stood musing awhile to himselfe, as if he had some strange
stratagem in his braine, and afterward said. Hast thou so much corage
Calandrino, as but to handle a peece of written parchment, which I will
give thee? Yes, that I have answered Calandrino, I hope that needed not
to be doubted. then, saide Bruno, procure that I may have a piece of
Virgin Parchment brought mee, with a living Bat or Reremouse; three
graines of Incense, and an hallowed Candle, then leave me to effect what
shal content thee. Calandrino watched all the next night following, with
such preparation as he could make, onely to catch a Bat; which being
taken at the last, he broght it alive to Bruno (with all the other
materials appointed) who taking him alone into a backer Chamber, there
hee wrote divers follies on the Parchment, in the shape of strange and
unusuall Charracters, which he delivered to Calandrino, saying: Be bold
Calandrino, and build constantly uppon my wordes, that if thou canst but
touch her with this sacred Charractred charme, she will immediately
follow thee, and fulfil whatsoever thou pleasest to command hir.
Wherefore, if Phillippo do this day walke any whither abroad from this
house, presume to salute her, in any manner whatsoever it be, and
touching her with the written lines, go presently to the barn of hay,
which thou perceivest so neere adjoyning, the onely convenient place
that can be, because few or none resort thither. She shall (in despight
of her blood) follow thee; and when thou hast her there, I leave thee
then to thy valiant victory. Calandrino stood on tiptoe, like a man
newly molded by Fortune, and warranted Bruno to fulfil all effectually.
Nello, whom Calandrino most of all feared and mistrusted, had a hand
as deepe as any of the rest in this deceite, and was as forward also to
have it performed, by Brunoes direction, hee went unto Florence, where
being in company with Calandrinoes Wife, thus hee began.
Cousine, thine unkinde usage by thine husband, is not unknown to me,
how he did beate thee (beyond the compasse of all reason) when he
brought home stones from the plain of Mugnone; in which regard, I am
very desirous to have thee revenged on him: which if thou wilt not do,
never repute me heereafter for thy Kinsman and Friend. He is falne in
love with a Woman of the common gender, one that is to be hired for
money: he hath his private meetings with her, and the place is partly
knowne to me, as by a secret appointment (made very lately) I am
credibly given to understand; wherefore walke presently along with me,
and thou shalt take him in the heat of his knavery.
All the while as these words were uttering to her, shee could not
dissemble her inward impatience, but starting up as halfe franticke with
fury. she said. O notorious villaine! Darest thou abuse thine honest
wife so basely? I sweare by blessed Saint Bridget, thou shalt be paid
with coyne of thine owne stampe. So casting a light wearing Cloake about
her, and taking a yong woman in her company; shee went away with Nello
in no meane haste. Bruno seeing her comming a farre off, said to
Phillippo: You Sir, you know what is to be done, act your part according
to your appointment. Phillippo went immediately into the roome, where
Calandrino and his other Consorts were at worke, and said to them.
Honest friends, I have certaine occasions which command mine instant
being at Florence: worke hard while I am absent, and I will not be
unthankefull for it. Away hee departed from them, and hid himselfe in a
convenient place, where he could not be descryed, yet see whatsoever
Calandrino did: who when he imagined Phillippo to be farre enough off,
descended downe into the Court, where he found Nicholetta sitting alone,
and going towards her, began to enter into discoursing with her.
She knowing what remained to bee done on her behalfe, drew somewhat
neere him, and shewed her selfe more familiar then formerly she had
done: by which favourable meanes, he touched her with the charmed
Parchment, which was no sooner done; but with out using any other kinde
of language, hee went to the hay-Barne, whither Nicholletta followed
him, and both being entred, he closed the Barne doore, and then stood
gazing on her, as if hee had never seene her before. Standing stil as in
a study, or bethinking himselfe what he should say: she began to use
affable gesture to him, and taking him by the hand, made shew as if shee
meant to kisse him, which yet she refrained, though he (rather then his
life) would gladly have had it. Why how now deare Calandrino (quoth she)
jewell of my joy, comfort of my heart, how many times have I longed for
thy sweet Company? And enjoying it now, according to mine owne desire,
dost thou stand like a Statue, or man alla morte? The rare tunes of the
Gitterne, but (much more) the melodious accents of thy voyce, excelling
Orpheus or Amphion, so ravished my soule, as I know not how to expresse
the depth of mine affection; and yet hast thou brought me hither, onely
to looke babies in mine eyes, and not so much as speake one kinde word
to me?
Bruno and Buffalmaco, having hid themselves close behinde Philippo,
they both heard and saw all this amourous conflict, and as Calandrino
was quickning his courage, and wiping his mouth, with intent to kisse
her: his wife and Nello entred into the Barne, which caused Nicholetta
to get her gone presently, sheltring her self where Philippo lay
scouting. But the enraged woman ranne furiously upon poore daunted
Calandrino, making such a pitiful massacre with her nailes, and tearing
the baire from his head, as hee meerely looked like an infected Anatomy.
Fowle loathsome dog (quoth she) must you be at your minions, and leave
mee hunger-starved at home? An olde knave with (almost) never a good
tooth in thy head, and yet art thou neighing after young wenches? hast
thou not worke enough at home, but must bee gadding in to other mens
grounds? Are these the fruites of wandring abroad? Calandrino being in
this pittifull perplexity, stood like one neither alive nor dead, nor
daring to use any resistance against her; but fell on his knees before
his Wife, holding up his hands for mercy, and entreating her (for
charities sake) not to torment him any more: for he had committed no
harme at all, and the Gentlewoman was his Masters Wife, who came with no
such intent thither, as shee fondly imagined. Wife, or wife not (quoth
she) I would have none to meddle with my I but I that have the most
right to him.
Bruno and Buffalmaco, who had laughed all this while heartily at this
pastime, with Phillippo and Nicholetta; came running in haste to know
the reason of this loude noise, and after they had pacified the woman
with gentle perswasions: they advised Calandrino, to walke with his Wife
to Florence, and returne no more to worke there againe, least Phillippo
hearing what had hapned, should be revenged on him with some outrage.
Thus poore Calandrino miserably misused and beaten, went home to
Florence with his Wife, scoulded and raild at all the way, beside his
other molestations (day and night) afterward: his Companions, Phillippo
and Nicholetta, making themselves merry at his mis-fortune.
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Wherein Is Manifested, That An Offence
Committed Ignorantly, And By Mistaking; Ought To Be Covered With Good
Advise, And Civill Discretion.
Two yong Gentlemen, the one named Panuccio, and the other Adriano,
lodged one night in a poore Inne, where one of them went to bed to the
Hostes Daughter, and the other (by mistaking his way in the darke) to
the Hostes Wife. He which lay with the daughter, happened afterward to
the Hostes bed and told him what he had done, as thinking he spake to
his own companyon. Discontentment growing betweene them, the Mother
perceiving her errour, went to bed to her daughter, and with discreete
language, made a generall pacification.
Calandrino, whose mishaps had so many times made the whole assembly
merry, and this last passing among them with indifferent commendations:
upon a generall silence commanded, the Queene gave order to Pamphilus,
that hee should follow next, as indeed he did, beginning thus.
Praiseworthy Ladies, the name of Nicoletta, so fondly affected by
Calandrino, putteth mee in minde of a Novell, concerning another
Nicoletta, of whom I purpose to speake: to the ende you may observe how
by a sudden wary fore-sight, a discreet woman compassed the meanes to
avoyde a notorious scandall.
On the plaine of Mugnone, neere to Florence, dwelt (not long since)
an honest meane man, who kept a poore Inne or Ostery for travellers,
where they might have some slender entertainement for their money. As he
was but a poore man, so his house affoorded but very small receit of
guests, not lodging any but on necessity, and such as he had some
knowledge of. This honest poore hoste had a woman (sufficiently faire)
to his wife, by whom hee had also two children, the one a comely young
maiden, aged about fifteene yeares, and the other a sonne, not fully (as
yet) a yeare old, and sucking on the mothers brest.
A comely youthfull Gentleman of our City, became amorously affected
to the Damosell, resorting thither divers times as hee travelled on the
way, to expresse how much he did respect her. And she accounting her
fortune none of the meanest, to bee beloved by so youthfull a Gallant,
declared such vertuous and modest demeanour, as might deserve his best
opinion of her: so that their love grew to an equall simpathy, and
mutuall contentment of them both, in expectation of further effects; he
being named Panuccio, and she Nicholletta.
The heate of affection thus encreasing day by day, Panuccio grew
exceedingly desirous to enjoy the fruits of hi; long continued liking,
and divers devises mustred in his braine, how he might compasse one
nights lodging in her fathers house, whereof hee knew every part and
parcell, as not doubting to effect what hee desired, yet undiscovered by
any, but the maide her selfe.
According as his intention aymed, so he longed to put it in
execution, and having imparted his mind to an honest loyall friend,
named Adriano, who was acquainted with the course of his love: hyring
two horses, and having Portmantues behind them, filled with matters of
no moment, they departed from Florence, as if they had some great
journey to ride. Having spent the day time where themselves best
pleased, darke night being entred, they arrived on the plaine of
Mugnone, where, as if they were come from the parts of Romanio, they
rode directly to this poore Inne, and knocking at the doore, the honest
Hoste (being familiar and friendly to all commers) opened the doore,
when Panuccio spake in this manner to him. Good man, we must request one
nights lodging with you, for we thought to have reached so farre as
Florence, but dark night preventing us, you see at what a late houre wee
are come hither. Signior Panuccio, answered the hoste, it is not
unknowne to you, how unfiting my poore house is, for entertaining such
guests as you are: Neverthelesse, seeing you are overtaken by so
unseasonable an houre, and no other place is neere for your receite; I
will gladly lodge you so well as I can.
When they were dismounted from their horses, and entred into the
simple Inne: having taken order for feeding their horses, they accepted
such provision, as the place and time afforded, requesting the Hoste to
suppe with them. Now I am to tell you, that there was but one small
Chamsber in the house, wherin stood three beds, as best the Hoste had
devised to place them, two of them standing by the walles side, and the
third fronting them both, but with such close and narrow passage, as
very hardly could one step betweene them. The best of these three beds
was appointed for the Gentlemen, and therein they layd them down to
rest, but sleepe they could not, albeit they dissembled it very
formally. In the second Bed was Nicholetta the daughter, lodged by her
selfe, and the father and mother in the third, and because she was to
give the child sucke in the night time, the radle (wherein it lay) stood
close by their beds side, because the childes crying or any other
occasion concerning it, should not disquiet the Gentlemen.
Panuccio having subtily observed all this, and in what manner they
went to bed; after such a space of time, as he imagined them to be all
fast asleepe, he arose very softly, and stealing to the bed of
Nicholetta, lay downe gently by her. And albeit she seemed somewhat
afraid at the first, yet wheri she perceived who it was, shee rather bad
him welcome, then shewed her selfe any way discontented. Now while
Panuccio continued thus with the maide, it fortuned that a Cat threw
down somewhat in the house, the noise wherof awaked the wife, and
fearing greater harme, then (indeed) had hapned, she arose without a
Candle, and went groping in the darke, towards the place where shee
heard the noyse. Adriano, who had no other meaning but well, found
occasion also to rise, about some naturall necessity, and making his
passage in the darke, stumbled on the childes Cradle (in the way) where
the woman had set it, and being unable to passe by, without removing it
from the place: tooke and set it by his owne beds side, and having done
the businesse for which he rose, returned to his bed againe, never
remembring to set the Cradle where first he found it.
The Wife having found the thing throwne downe being of no value or
moment, cared not for lighting any candle; but rating the Cat, returned
backe, feeling for the bed where her Husband lay, but finding not the
Cradle there, she said to her selfe. What a foolish woman am I, that
cannot well tell my selfe what I doe? Instead of my Husbands bed, I am
going to both my guests.
So, stepping on a little further, she found the childes Cradle, and
laid her selfe downe by Adriano, thinking shee had gone right to her
Husband. Adriano being not yet falne asleepe, feeling the hostesse in
bed with him: tooke advantage of so faire an occasion offered, and what
he did, is no businesse of mine, (as I heard) neither found the woman
any fault. Matters comming to passe in this strange manner, and Panuccio
fearing, lest sleepe seazing on him, he might disgrace the maides
reputation: taking his kinde farewell of her, with many kisses and sweet
imbraces: returned againe to his owne Bed, but meeting with the Cradle
in his way, and thinking it stood by the hostes Bed, (as truely it did
so at the first) went backe from the Cradle, and stept into the hostes
Bed indeed, who awaked upon his very entrance, albeit he slept very
soundly before.
Panuccio supposing that he was laid downe by his loving friend
Adriano, merrily said to the Hoste. I protest to thee, as I am a
Gentleman, Nicholetta is a dainty delicate wench, and worthy to be a
very good mans wife: this night shee hath given mee the sweetest
entertainement, as the best Prince in the world can wish no better, and
I have kist her most kindly for it. The Hoste hearing these newes, which
seemed very unwelcome to him, said first to himself: What make such a
devill heere in my Bedde? Afterward being more rashly angry, then well
advised, hee said to Panuccio. Canst thou make vaunt of such a
mounstrous villany? Or thinkest thou, that heaven hath not due vengeance
in store, to requite all wicked deeds of darkenesse? If all should
sleepe, yet I have courage sufficient to right my wrong, and yet as olde
as I am to rig thou shalt be sure to finde it.
Our amorous Panuccio being none of the wisest young men in the world,
perceiving his errour; sought not to amend it, (as well he might have
done) with some queint straine of wit, carried in quick and cleanly
manner, but angerly answered. What shall I find that thou darst doe to
me? am I any way afraid of thy threatnings? The Hostes imagining she was
in bed with her Husband, said to Adriano: Harke Husband, I thinke our
Guests are quarrelling together, I hope they will doe no harme to one
another. Adriano laughing outright, answered. Let them alone, and become
friends againe as they fell out: perhaps they dranke too much
yesternight.
The woman perceiving that it was her husband that quarrelled, and
distinguishing the voyce of Adriano from his: knew presently where shee
was, and with whom; wherefore having wit at will, and desirous to cloude
an error unadvisedly committed, and with no willing consent of her
selfe: without returning any more words, presently she rose, and taking
the Cradle with the child in it, removed it the to her daughters bed
side, although shee had no light to helpe her, and afterward went to bed
to her, where (as if she were but newly awaked) she called her Husband,
to understand what angry speeches had past betweene him and Panuccio.
The Hoste replyed, saying. Didst thou not heare him wife, brag and
boast, how he hath lyen this night with our daughter Nicholetta? Husband
(quoth she) he is no honest Gentleman; if hee should say so, and beleeve
me it is a manifest lye, for I am in bed with her my selfe, and never
yet closed mine eyes together, since the first houre I laid me downe: it
is unmannerly done of him to speake it, and you are little lesse then a
logger-head, if you doe beleeve it. This proceedeth from your bibbing
and swilling yesternight, which (as it seemeth) maketh you to walke
about the roome in your sleepe, dreaming of wonders in the night season:
it were no great sinne if you brake your neck, to teach you keepe a
fairer quarter; and how commeth it to passe, that Signior Panuccio could
not keepe himselfe in his owne bed?
Adriano (on the other side) perceiving how wisely the woman excused
her owne shame and her daughters; to backe her in a businesse so
cunningly begun, he called to Panuccio, saying. Have not I tolde thee an
hundred times, that thou art not fit to lye any where, out of thine owne
lodging? What a shame is this base imperfection to thee, by rising and
walking thus in the night-time, according as thy dreames doe wantonly
delude thee, and cause thee to forsake thy bed, telling nothing but lies
and fables, yet avouching them for manifest truthes? Assuredly this will
procure no meane perill unto thee: Come hither, and keepe in thine owne
bedde for meere shame.
When the honest meaning Host heard, what his own Wife and Adriano had
confirmed: he was verily perswaded, that Panuccio spake in a dreame all
this while: And to make it the more constantly apparant, Panuccio (being
now growne wiser by others example) lay talking and blundring to
himselfe, even as if dreames or perturbations of the minde did much
molest him, with strange distractions in franticke manner. Which the
Hoste perceiving, and compassionating his case, as one man should do
anothers: he tooke him by the shoulders, jogging and hunching him,
saying. Awake Signior Panuccio, and get you gone hence to your owne bed.
Panuccio, yawning and stretching out his limbes, with unusuall
groanes and respirations, such as (better) could bee hardly dissembled:
seemed to wake as out of a traunce, and calling his friend Adriano,
said.
Adriano, is it day, that thou dost waken me? It may be day or night
replyed Adriano, for both (in these fits) are alike to thee. Arise man
for shame, and come to thine lodging. Then faining to be much troubled
and sleepie, he arose from the hoast, and went to Adrianoes bed.
When it was day, and all in the house risen, the hoast began to smile
at Panuccio, mocking him with his idle dreaming and talking in the
night.
So, falling from one merry matter to another, yet without any mislike
at all: the Gentlemen, having their horses prepared, and their
Portmantues fastened behind, drinking to their hoast, mounted on
horsebacke, and they roade away towards Florence, no lesse contented
with the manner of occasions happened, then the effects they sorted to.
Afterward, other courses were taken, for the continuance of this begun
pleasure with Nicholetta, who made her mother beleeve, that Panuccio did
nothing else but dreame. And the mother her selfe remembring how kindely
Adriano had used her (a fortune not expected by her before:) was more
then halfe of the minde, that she did then dreame also, while she was
waking.
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Whereby (With Some Indifferent Reason) It Is
Concluded, That Dreames Do Not Alwayes Fall Out To Be Leasings.
Talano de Molese dreamed, That a Wolfe rent and tore his wives face and
throate. Which dreame he told to her, with advise to keepe her selfe out
of danger; which she refusing to doe, received what followed.
By the conclusion of Pamphilus his Novel, wherein the womans ready
wit, at a time of such necessity, carried deserved commendations: the
Queen gave command to Madam Pampinea, that she should next begin with
hers, and so she did, in this manner. In some discourses (gracious
Ladies) already past among us, the truth of apparitions in dreames hath
partly bin approved, whereof very many have made a mockery.
Neverthelesse, whatsoever hath heeretofore bin sayde, I purpose to
acquaint you with a very short Novell, of a strange accident happening
unto a neighbour of mine, in not crediting a Dreame which her Husband
told her.
I cannot tell, whether you knew Talano de Molese, or no, a man of
much honour, who tooke to wife a yong Gentlewoman, named Margarita, as
beautifull as the best: but yet so peevish, scornefull, and
fantasticall, that she disdained any good advice given her; neyther
could any thing be done, to cause her contentment; which absurd humors
were highly displeasing to her husband: but in regard he knew not how to
helpe it, constrainedly he did endure it. It came to passe, that Talano
being with his wife, at a summer-house of his owne in the country, he
dreamed one night, that he saw his Wife walking in a faire wood, which
adjoyned neere unto his house, and while she thus continued there, he
seemed to see issue foorth from a corner of the said Wood, a great and
furious Wolfe, which on her, caught her by the face and throate, drawing
her downe to the earth, and offering to drag her thence. But he crying
out for helpe, recovered her from the Wolfe, yet having her face and
throat very pitifully rent and torne.
In regard of this terrifying dreame, when Talano was risen in the
morning, and sate conversing with his wife, he spake thus unto hir.
Woman, although thy froward wilfull Nature be such, as hath not
permitted me one pleasing day with thee, since first we becam man and
wife, but rather my life hath bene most tedious to me, as fearing still
some mischeefe should happen to thee: yet let mee now in loving manner
advise thee, to follow my counsell, and (this day) not to walke abroad
out of this house. She demanded a reason for this advice of his. He
related to her every particular of his dreame, adding with all these
speeches.
True it is Wife (quoth he) that little credit should bee given to
dreames: neverthelesse, when they deliver advertisement of harmes to
ensue, there is nothing lost by shunning and avoiding them. She fleering
in his face, and shaking her head at him, replyed. Such harmes as thou
wishest, such thou dreamest of. Thou pretendest much pittie and care of
me, but all to no other end: but what mischeefes thou dreamest happening
unto mee, so wouldest thou see them effected on me. Wherefore, I will
well enough looke to my selfe, both this day, and at all times else:
because thou shalt never make thy selfe merry, with any such misfortune
as thou wishest unto me.
Well Wife, answered Talano, I knew well enough before, what thou
wouldst say: An unsound head is soone scratcht with the very gentlest
Combe: but beleeve as thou pleasest. As for my selfe, I speake with a
true and honest meaning soule, and once againe I do advise thee, to
keepe within our doores all this day: at least wise beware, that thou
walke not into our wood, bee it but in regard of my dreame. Well sir
(quoth she scoffingly) once you shall say, I followed your counsell: but
within her selfe she fell to this murmuring. Now I perceive my husbands
cunning colouring, and why I must not walke this day into our wood: he
hath made a compact with some common Queane, closely to have her company
there, and is afraide least I should take them tardy. Belike he would
have me feed among blinde folke, and I were worthy to bee thought a
starke foole, if I should not prevent a manifest trechery, being
intended against me. Go thither therefore I will, and tarry there all
the whole day long; but I will meet with him in his merchandize, and see
the Pink wherin he adventures.
After this her secret consultation, her husband was no sooner gone
forth at one doore, but shee did the like at another, yet so secretly as
possibly she could devise to doe, and (without any delaying) she went to
the Wood, wherein she hid her selfe very closely, among the thickest of
the bushes, yet could discerne every way about her, if any body should
offer to passe by her. While shee kept her selfe in this concealment,
suspecting other mysterious matters, as her idle imagination had tutord
her, rather then the danger of any Wolfe: out of a brakie thicket by
her, sodainly rushed a huge and dreadfull Wolfe, as having found her by
the sent, mounting uppe, and grasping her throat in his mouth, before
she saw him, or could call to heaven for mercy.
Being thus seised of her, he carried her as lightly away, as if shee
had bin no heavier then a Lambe, she being (by no meanes) able to cry,
because he held her so fast by the throate, and hindred any helping of
her selfe. As the Wolfe carried her thus from thence, he had quite
strangled her, if certaine Shepheards had not met him, who with their
outcries and exclaimes at the Wolfe, caused him to let her fall, and
hast away to save his owne life. Notwithstanding the harme done to her
throat and face, the shepheards knew her, and caried her home to her
house, where she remained a long while after, carefully attended by
Physitians and Chirurgians.
Now, although they were very expert and cunning men all, yet could
they not so perfectly cure her, but both her throate, and part of her
face were so blemished that whereas she seemed a rare creature before,
she was now deformed and much unsightly. In regard of which strange
alteration, being ashamed to shew her selfe in any place, where formerly
she had bene seene she spent her time in sorrow and mourning, repenting
her insolent and scornfull carriage, as also her rash running forth into
danger, upon a foolish and jealous surmise, beleeving her husbands
dreames the better for ever after.
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Whereby Plainly Appeareth, That They Which Take
Delight In Deceiving Others, Do Well Deserve To Be Deceived Themselves.
Blondello (in a merry maner) caused Guiotto to beguile himselfe of a
good dinner: for which deceit, Guiotto became cunningly revenged, by
procurng Blondello to be unreasonably beaten and misused.
It was a generall opinion in the whole Joviall Companie, that
whatsoever Talano saw in his sleepe, was not anie dreame, but rather a
vision: considring, every part thereof fell out so directly, without the
lest failing. But when silence was enjoyned, then the Queene gave forth
by evident demonstration, that Madam Lauretta was next to succeed,
whereupon she thus began. As all they (judicious hearers) which have
this day spoken before me, derived the ground or project of their
Novels, from some other argument spoken of before: even so, the cruell
revendge of the Scholler, yesterday discoursed at large by Madame
Pampinea, maketh me to remember another Tale of like nature, some-what
greevous to the sufferer, yet not in such cruell measure inflicted, as
that on Madam Helena.
There dwelt sometime in Florence, one who was generally called by the
name of Guiotto, a man being the greatest Gourmand, and grossest feeder,
as ever was seene in any Countrey, all his meanes and procurements
meerly unable to maintaine expences for filling his belly. But otherwise
he was of sufficient and commendable carriage, fairely demeaned, and
well- discoursing on any argument: yet, not as a curious and spruce
Courtier, but rather a frequenter of rich mens Tables, where choice of
good cheere is sildome wanting, and such should have his company, albeit
not invited, yet (like a bold intruder) he had the courage to bid
himselfe welcome.
At the same time, and in our City of Florence also, there was another
man, named Blondello, very low of stature, yet comly formed, quicke
witted, more neat and brisk then a Butterflye, alwaies wearing a wrought
silke cap on his head, and not a haire staring out of order, but the
tuft flourishing above the forehead, and he such another trencher-fly
for the table, as our forenamed Guiotto was. It so fel out on a morning
in the Lent time, that hee went into the Fishmarket, where he bought two
goodly Lampreyes, for Messer Viero de Cherchi, and was espied by
Guiotto, who to Blondello) said. What is the meaning of this cost, and
for whom is it? Whereto Blondello thus answered. Yesternight, three
other Lampries, far fairer and fatter then these, and a whole Sturgeon,
were sent unto Messer Corso Donati, and being not sufficient to feede
divers Gentlemen, whom hee hath invited this day to dine with him, hee
caused me to buy these two beside: Doest not thou intend to make one
among them? Yes I warrant thee, replied Guiotto, thou knowst I can
invite my selfe thither, without any other bidding.
So parting; about the houre of dinner time, Guiotto went to the house
of the saide Messer Corso, whom he found sitting and talking with
certain of his neighbors, but dinner was not (as yet) ready, neither
were they come thither to dinner. Messer Corso demaunded of Guiotto,
what newes with him, and whither he went? Why Sir (said Guiotto) I come
to dine with you, and your good company. Wherto Messer Corso answered,
That he was welcom, and his other friends being gone, dinner was served
in, none els therat present but Messer Corso and Guiotto: al the diet
being a poore dish of Pease, a litle piece of Tunny, and a few smal
fishes fried, without any other dishes to follow after. Guiotto seeing
no better fare, but being disapointed of his expectation, as longing to
feed on the Lampries and Sturgeon, and so to have made a ful dinner
indeed: was of a quick apprehension, and apparantly perceived, that
Blondello had meerly guld him in a knavery, which did not a litle vex
him, and made him vow to be revenged on Blondello, as he could compasse
occasion afterward.
Before many dales were past, it was his fortune to meete with
Blondello, who having told this jest to divers of his friends, and much
good merriment made thereat: he saluted Guiotto in ceremonious manner,
saying. How didst thou like the fat Lampreyes and Sturgeon, which thou
fedst on at the house of Messer Corso Donati? Wel Sir (answered Guiotto)
perhaps before eight dayes passe over my head, thou shalt meet with as
pleasing a dinner as I did. So, parting away from Blondello, he met with
a Porter or burthen-bearer, such as are usually sent on errands; and
hyring him to deliver a message for him, gave him a glasse bottle, and
bringing him neere to the Hal-house of Cavicciuli, shewed him there a
knight, called Signior Phillipo Argenti, a man of huge stature, stout,
strong, vain-glorious, fierce and sooner mooved to anger then any other
man. To him (quoth Guiotto) thou must go with this bottle in thy hand,
and say thus to him. Sir, Blondello sent me to you, and courteously
entreateth you, that you would enrubinate this glasse bottle with your
best Claret Wine; because he would make merry with a few friends of his.
But beware he lay no hand on thee, because he may bee easi induced to
misuse thee, and so my businesse be disappointed. Well Sir replied the
Porter, shal I say any thing else unto him? No (quoth Guiotto) only go
and deliver this message, and when thou art returned, Ile pay thee for
thy paines.
The Porter being gone to the house, delivered his message to the
knight, who being a man of no great civill breeding, but furious, rash,
and inconsiderate: presently conceived, that Blondello (whom he knew
well enough) sent this message in meere mockage of him, and starting up
with fiery lookes, said: What enrubination of Claret should I send him?
and what have I to do with him, or his drunken friends? Let him and thee
go hang your selves together. So he stept to catch hold on the Porter,
but he (being well warnd before) was quicke and nimble, and escaping
from him, returned backe to Guiotto (who observed all) and told him the
answer of Signior Phillippo. Guiotto not a little contented, paied the
Porter, and taried not in any place til he met with Blondello, to whom
he said. When wast thou at the Hall of Cavicciuli? Not a long while,
answerd Blondello, but why dost thou demand such a question? Because
(quoth Guiotto) Signior Phillippo hath sought about for thee, yet knowe
not I what he would have with thee. Is it so? replied Blondello, then I
wil walke thither presently, to understand his pleasure.
When Blondello was thus parted from him, Guiotto folowed not farre
off behind him, to behold the issue of this angry businesse; and Signior
Phillippo, because he could not catch the Porter, continued much
distempred, fretting and fuming, in regard he could not comprehend the
meaning of the Porters message: but onely surmized, that Blondello (by
the procurement of some body else) had done this in scorne of him.
While he remained thus deeply discontented, he espied Blondello
comming towards him, and meeting him by the way, he stept close to him,
and gave him a cruell blow on the face, causing his nose to fall out a
bleeding. Alas Sir, said Blondello, wherefore do you strike me? Signior
Phillippo, catching him by the haire of the head, trampled his wrought
night-cap in the dirt, and his cloke also; when, laying many violent
blowes on him, he said. Villanous Traitor as thou art, Ile teach thee
what it is to enrubinate with Claret, either thy selfe, or any of thy
cupping companions: . ons: Am I a child, to be jested withall?
Nor was he more furious in words, then in strokes also, beating him
about the face, hardly leaving any haire on his head, and dragging him
along in the mire, spoyling all his garments, and he not able (from the
first blow given) to speake a word in defence of himselfe. In the end,
Signior Phillippo having extreamly beaten him, and many people gathering
about them, to succour a man so much misused, the matter was at large
related, and manner of the message sending. For which, they all present,
did greatly reprehend Blondello, considering he knew what kinde of man
Philippo was, not any way to be jested with Blondello in teares
constantly maintained, that he never sent any such message for wine, or
intended it in the least degree: so, when the tempest was more mildly
calmed, and Blondello (thus cruelly beaten and durtied) had gotten home
to his owne house, he could then remember, that (questionles) this was
occasioned by Guiotto.
After some few dayes were passed over, and the hurts in his face
indifferently cured; Blondello beginning to walke abroade againe,
chanced to meet with Guiotto: who laughing heartily at him, sayde. Tell
me Blondello, how doost thou like the enrubinating Clarret of Signior
Phillippo? As well (quoth Blondello) as thou didst the Sturgeon and
Lampreyes at Messer Corso Donaties. Why then (sayde Guiotto) let these
two tokens continue familiar betweene thee and me, when thou wouldst
bestow such another dinner on mee, then wil I enrubinate thy nose with a
bottle of the same Claret. But Blondello perceived (to his cost) that
hee had met with the worser bargaine, and Guiotto got cheare, without
any blowes: and therefore desired a peacefull attonement, each of them
(alwayes after) abstaining from flouting one another.
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Containing An Excellent Admonition, That Such
As Covet To Have The Love Of Other Men, Must First Learne Themselves,
How To Love: Also, By What Meanes Such Women As Are Curst And
Self-Willed, May Be Reduced To Civill Obedience.
Two yong Gentlemen, the one named Melisso, borne in the City of Laiazzo:
and the other Giose of Antioche, travalled together unto Salomon, the
famous King of Great Britaine. The one desiring to learne what he should
do, whereby to compasse and winne the love of men. The other craved to
be enstructed by what meanes hee might reclaime an headstrong and unruly
wife. And what answeres the wise King gave unto them both, before they
departed away from him.
Upon the conclusion of Madame Laurettaes Novell, none now ained to
succeede next in er, but onely the Queene priviledge reserved, granted
to Dioneus; wherefore, after they had all smiled at the folly of
Blondello, with a chearfull countenance thus the Queene began.
Honourable Ladies, if with advised judgement, we do duly consider the
order of all things, we shall very easily perceyve, That the whole
universall multiplicitie of Women, by Nature, custome, and lawes, are
and ought to be subject to men, yea, and to be governd by their
discretion. Because every one desiring to enjoy peace, repose and
comfort with them, under whose charge they are; ought to be humble,
patient and obedient, over and beside her spotlesse honesty, which is
the crowne and honour of every good woman. And although those lawes,
which respect the common good of all things, or rather use and custome
(as our wonted saying is) the powers wherof are very great, and worthy
to be reverenced, should not make us wise in this case. Yet Nature hath
given us a sufficient demonstration, in creating our bodies more soft
and delicate, yea, and our hearts timorous, fearefull, benigne and
compassionable, our strength feeble, our voyces pleasing, and the motion
of our members sweetly plyant: all which are apparant testimonies, that
wee have neede of others government.
Now, it is not to be denyed, that whosoever hath need of helpe, and
is to bee governed: meerely reason commandeth, that they should bee
subject and obedient to their governour. Who then should we have for our
helps and governours, if not men? Wherfore, we should be intirely
subject to them, in giving them due honour and reverence, and such a one
as shall depart from this rule: she (in mine opinion) is not onely
worthy of grievous reprehension, but also severe chastisement beside.
And to this exact consideration (over and above divers other important
reasons) I am the rather induced, by the Novel which Madame Pampinea so
lately reported, concerning the froward and wilfull wife of Talano, who
had a heavier punishment inflicted on her, then her Husband could devise
to doe. And therefore it is my peremptory sentence, that all such women
as will not be gracious, benigne and pleasing: doe justly deserve (as I
have already said) rude, rough and harsh handling, as both nature,
custome and lawes have commanded.
To make good what I have said, I wil declare unto you the counsell
and advise, given by Salomon, the wise and famous King of Great
Britaine, as a most wholesome and soveraigne medicine for the cure of
such a dangerous disease, in any woman so fouly infected. Which counsel
(notwithstanding) all such women as have no need of this Phisicke, I
would not have them to imagine, that it was meant for them, albeit men
have a common Proverbe, to wit.
As the good horse and bad horse, doe both need the spurre,
So a good wife and bad wife, a wand will make stirre.
Which saying, whosoever doth interpret it in such pleasing manner as
they ought, shal find it (as you al wil affirm no lesse) to be very
true: especially in the morall meaning, it is beyond all contradiction.
Women are naturally all unstable, and easily enclining to misgovernment;
wherefore to correct the iniquity of such a distemperature in them that
out-step the tearmes and bounds of womanhood, a wand hath been allowed
for especiall phisicke. As in the like manner, for support of vertue, in
those of contrary condition, shaming to be sullyed with so grosse a
sinne: the correcting Wand may serve as a walking staffe, to protect
them from all other feares. But, forbearing to teach any longer; let mee
proceed to my purpose, and tell you my Novell.
In those ancient and reverend dayes, wherof I am now to speake, the
high renowne and admirable wisedome of Salomon, King of Great Brittain,
was most famous throughout all parts of the world; for answering all
doubtfull questions and demaunds whatsoever, that possibly could be
propounded to him. So that many resorted to him, from the most remote
and furthest off countreyes, to heare his miraculous knowledge and
experience, yea, and to crave his counsell, in matters of greatest
importance. Among the rest of them which repaired thither, was a rich
yong Gentleman, honourably descended, named Melisso, who came from the
City of Laiazzo, where he was both borne, and dwelt.
In his riding towards France, as he passed by Naples, hee overtooke
another yong Gentleman, a native of Antioch, and named Giosefo, whose
journey lay the same way as the others did. Having ridden in company
some few dayes together, as it is a custome commonly observed among
Travellers, to understand one anothers Countrey and condition, as also
to what part his occasions call him: so happened it with them, Giosefo
directly telling him, that he journyed, towards the wise King Salomon,
to desire his advise what meanes he should observe in the reclaiming of
a wilfull wife, the most froward and selfe-willed woman that ever lived;
whom neither faire perswasions, nor gentle courtesies could in any
manner prevaile withall. Afterward he demaunded of Melisso, to know the
occasion of his travell, and whither.
Now trust me Sir, answered Melisso, I am a native of Laiazzo, and as
you are vexed with one great mis-fortune, even so am I offended with
another. I am young, wealthy, well derived by birth, and allow liberall
expences, for maintaining a worthy table in my house, without
distinguishing persons by their rancke and quality, but make it free for
all commers, both of the city, and all places els. Notwithstanding all
which bounty and honourable entertainement, I cannot meet with any man
that loveth me. In which respect, I journey to the same place as you
doe, to crave the counsell of so wise a King, what I should doe, whereby
I might procure men to love me. Thus like two well-met friendly
companions, they rode on together, untill they arrived in Great
Britaine, where, by meanes of the Noble Barons attending on the King,
they were brought before him. Melisso delivered his minde in very few
words, whereto the King made no other answere, but this: Learne to love.
Which was no sooner spoken, but Melisso was dismissed from the Kings
presence.
Giosefo also relating, wherefore he came thither; the King replying
onely thus: Goe to the Goose Bridge: and presently Giosefo had also his
dismission from the King. Comming forth, he found Melisso attending for
him, and revealed in what manner the King had answered him: whereupon,
they consulted together, concerning both their answeres, which seemed
either to exceed their comprehension, or else was delivered them in
meere mockery, and therefore (more then halfe discontented) they
returned homeward againe.
After they had ridden on a few dayes together, they came to a River,
over which was a goodly Bridge, and because a great company of Horses
and Mules (heavily laden, and after the manner of a Caravan of Camels in
Egypt) were first to passe over the saide Bridge; they gladly stayed to
permit their passe. The greater number of them being already past over,
there was one shie and skittish Mule (belike subject to fearefull
starting, as oftentimes we see horses have the like ill quality) that
would not passe over the Bridge by any meanes, wherefore one of the
Muletters tooke a good Cudgell, and smote her at the first gently, as
hoping so to procure her passage. Notwithstanding, starting one while
backeward, then againe forward, side-wayes, and every way indeed, but
the direct Roadway she would not goe.
Now grew the Muletter extreamely angry, giving her many cruell
stroakes, on the head, sides, flancks and all parts else, but yet they
proved to no purpose, which Melisso and Giosefo seeing, and being (by
this meanes) hindred of their passage, they called to the Muletter,
saying. Foolish fellow, what doest thou? Intendest thou to kill the
Mule? why dost thou not leade her gently, which is the likelier course
to prevaile by, then beating and misusing her as thou dost? Content your
selves Gentlemen (answered the Muletter) you know your horses qualities,
as I doe my Mules, let mee deale with her as I please. Having thus
spoken, he gave her so many violent strokes, on head, sides, hippes, and
every where else, as made her at last passe over the Bridge quietly, so
that the Muletter wonne the Mastery of his Mule.
When Melisso and Giosefo had passed over the Bridge, where they
intended to part each from other; a sudden motion happened into the
minde of Melisso, which caused him to demaund of an aged man (who sate
craving almes of Passengers at the Bridge foot) how the Bridge was
called: Sir, answered the old man, this is called, The Goose Bridge.
Which words when Giosefo heard, hee called to minde the saying of King
Salomon, and therefore immediately saide to Melisso. Worthy friend, and
partner in my travell, I dare now assure sure that the counsell given me
by King Salomon, may fall out most effectall and true: For I plainely
perceive, that I knew not how to handle my selfe-will'd wife, untill the
Muletter did instruct me. So, requesting still to enjoy the others
Company, they journeyed on, till at the length they came to Laiazzo,
where Giosefo retained Melisso still with him, for some repose after so
long a journey, and entertained him with very honourable respect and
courtesie.
One day Giosefo said to his Wife: Woman, this Gentleman is my
intimate friend, and hath borne me company in all my travell: such dyet
therfore as thou wilt welcome him withall, I would have it ordered (in
dressing) according to his direction. Melisso perceiving that Giosefo
would needs have it to be so; in few words directed her such a course,
as (for ever) might be to her Husbands contentment. But she, not altring
a jote from her former disposition, but rather farre more froward and
tempestuous: delighted to vexe and crosse him, doing every thing quite
contrary to the order appointed. Which Giosefo observing, angerly he
said unto her. Was it not tolde you by my friend, in what manner he
would have our Supper drest? She turning fiercely to him, replyed. Am I
to be directed by him or thee? Supper must and shall bee drest as I will
have it: if it pleaseth mee, I care not who doth dislike it; if thou
wouldst have it otherwise, goe seeke both your Suppers where you may
have it.
Melisso marvelling at her froward answere, rebuked her for it in very
kind manner: whereupon, Giosefo spake thus to her. I perceive wife, you
are the same woman as you were wount to be: but beleeve me on my word, I
shal quite alter you from this curst complexion. So turning to Melisso,
thus he proceeded. Noble friend, we shall try anone, whether the
counsell of King Salomon bee effectuall, or no; and I pray you, let it
not be offensive to you to see it; but rather hold all to be done in
merriment. And because I would not be hindered by you, doe but remember
the answere which the Muletter gave us, when we tooke compassion on his
Mule. Worthy friend, replyed Melisso, I am in your owne house, where I
purpose not to impeach whatsoever you doe.
Giosefo, having provided a good Hollywand, went into the Chamber,
where his wife sate railing, and despitefully grumbling, where taking
her by the haire of her head, he threw her at his feete, beating her
extreamely with the wand. She crying, then cursing, next railing, lastly
fighting, biting and scratching, when she felt the cruell smart of the
blowes, and that all her resistance served to no end: then she fell on
her knees before him, and desired mercy for charities sake. Giosefo
fought still more and more on head, armes, shoulders, sides, and all
parts else, pretending as if he heard not her complaints, but wearied
himselfe wel neere out of breath: so that (to be briefe) she that never
felt his fingers before, perceived and confessed, it was now too soone.
This being done, hee returned to Melisso, and said: Tomorrow we shall
see a miracle, and how availeable the counsell is of going to the Goose
Bridge. So sitting a while together, after they had washed their hands,
and supt, they withdrew to their lodgings.
The poore beaten woman, could hardly raise her selfe from the ground,
which yet (with much adoe) she did, and threw her selfe upon the bed,
where she tooke such rest as she could: but arising early the next
morning, she came to her Husband, and making him a very low courtesie,
demaunded what hee pleased to have for his dinner; he smiling heartely
thereat, with Melisso, tolde her his mind. And when dinner time came,
every thing was ready according to the direction given: in which regard,
they highly commended the counsell, whereof they made such an harsh
construction at the first.
Within a while after, Melisso being gone from Giosefo, and returned
home to his owne house: hee acquainted a wise and reverend man, with the
answere which king Salomon gave him, whereto hee received this reply. No
better or truer advise could possibly be given you, for well you know,
that you love not any man; but the bountiful banquets you bestow on
them, is more in respect of your owne vaine-glory, then any kind
affection you beare to them: Learne then to love men, as Salomon
advised, and you shall be beloved of them againe. Thus our unruly Wife
became mildely reclaimed, and the yong Gentleman, by loving others,
found the fruits of reciprocall affection.
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In Just Reproofe Of Such Foolish Men, As Will
Be Governed By Over-Light Beleefe.
John de Barolo, at the instance and request of his Gossip Pietro da
Tresanti, made an enchantment, to have his wife become a Mule. And when
it came to the fastening on of the taile; Gossip Pietro by saying she
should have no taile at all, spoyled the whole enchantment.
This Novell reported by the Queene, caused a little murmuring among
the Ladies, albeit the men laughed heartely thereat: but after they were
all growne silent, Dioneus began in this manner. Gracious Beauties,
among many white Doves, one blacke Crow will seeme more sightly, then
the very whitest Swanne can doe. In like manner, among a multitude of
wise men, sometimes one of much lesse wisedome and discretion, shall not
onely increase the splendour and Majestie of their maturity, but also
give an addition of delight and solace.
In which regard, you all being modest and discreet Ladies, and my
selfe more, much defective in braine, then otherwise able: in making
your vertues shine gloriously, through the evident apparance of mine
owne weakenesse, you should esteeme the better of mee, by how much I
seeme the more cloudy and obscure. And consequently, I ought to have the
larger scope of liberty, by plainely expressing what I am, and be the
more patiently endured by you all, in saying what absurdly I shall; then
I should be if my speeches savoured of absolute wisdome. I will therfore
tell you a Tale, which shall not be of any great length, whereby you may
comprehend, how carefully such things should be observed, which are
commanded by them, as can effect matters by the power of enchantment,
and how little delayance also ought to be in such, as would not have an
enchantment to be hindered.
About a yeare already past since, there dwelt at Barletta, an honest
man, called John de Barolo, who because he was of poore condition; for
maintenance in his contented estate, provided himselfe of a Mule, to
carry commodities from place to place, where Faires and Markets were in
request, but most especially to Apuglia, buying and selling in the
nature of a petty Chapman. Travelling thus thorow the Countreyes, he
grew into great and familiar acquaintance, with one who named himselfe
Pietro da Tresanti, following the same Trade of life as he did, carrying
his commodities upon an Asse. In signe of amitie, according to the
Countreyes custome, he never tearmed him otherwise then by the name of
Gossip Pietro and alwayes when he came to Barletta, he brought him to
his own house, taking it as his Inne, entreating him very friendly, and
in the best manner he could devise to doe. On the other side, Gossip
Pietro being very poore, having but one simple habitation in the village
of Tresanti, hardly sufecient for him, and an handsome young woman which
he had to his wife, as also his Asse: evermore when John de Barolo came
to Tresanti, he would bring him to his poore abiding, with all his
uttermost abilitie of entertainement, in due acknowledgement of the
courtesie he afforded to him at Barletta. But when he came to take
repose in the night season, Gossip Pietro could not lodge him as gladly
he would: because he had but one silly bed, wherein himselfe and his
wife lay; so that John de Barolo was faigne to lie on a little straw, in
a small stable, close adjoyning by his owne Mule and the Asse.
The woman understanding, what good and honest welcome, Gossip John
afforded her husband, when he came to Barletta, was often very willing
to goe lodge with an honest neighbour of hers, called Carapresa di
Gludice Leo, because the two Gossips might both lie together in one bed;
wherewith divers times she acquainted her Husband, but by no meanes he
would admit it.
At one time among the rest, as she was making the same motion againe
to her Husband, that his friend might be lodged in better manner: Gossip
John thus spake to her. Good Zita Carapresa, never molest your selfe for
me, because I lodge to mine owne contentment, and so much the rather, in
regard that whensoever I list: I can convert my Mule into a faire young
woman, to give mee much delight in the night-season, and afterward make
her a Mule againe: thus am I never without her company.
The young woman wondring at these words, and beleeving he did not
fable in them: she told them to her Husband, with this addition beside,
Pietro (quoth she) if he be such a deare friend to thee, as thou hast
often avouched to me; wish him to instruct thee in so rare a cunning,
that thou maist make a Mule of me; then shalt thou have both an Asse and
a Mule to travell withall about thy businesse, whereby thy benefit will
be double: and when we returne home to our house, then thou maist make
mee thy wife againe, in the same condition as I was before. Gossip
Pietro, who was (indeed) but a very Coxecombe; beleeved also the words
to be true, yeelding therefore the more gladly to her advise; and moving
the matter to his Gossip John, to teach him such a wonderfull secret,
which would redound so greatly to his benefit: but John began to
disswade him from it, as having spoken it in merriment, yet perceiving,
that no contradiction would serve to Frevaile, thus he began.
Seeing you will needs have it so, let us rise to morrow morning
before day, as in our travell we use to doe, and then I will shew you
how it is to be done: onely I must and doe confesse, that the most
difficult thing of all the rest, is, to fasten on the taile, as thou
shalt see.
Gossip Pietro and his wife, could hardly take any rest all the night
long, so desirous they were to have the deed done; and therefore when it
drew towards day, up they arose, and calling Gossip John, he came
presently to them in his shirt, and being in the Chamber with them, he
said. I know not any man in the world, to whom I would disclose this
secret, but to you, and therefore because you so earnestly desire it, I
am the more willing to doe it. Onely you must consent, to doe whatsoever
I say, if you are desirous to have it done. Faithfully they ey ,h
promised to performe all, whereupon John delivering a lighted Candle to
Gossip Petro, to hold in his hand, said. Marke well what I doe, and
remember all the words I say: but be very carefull, that whatsoever thou
hearest or seest, thou doe not speake one word, for then the enchantment
will be utterly overthrowne, onely wish that the taile may be well set
on, for therein consisteth all the cunning.
Gossip Pietro holding the Candle, and the woman being prepared as
John had appointed her, she bowed her selfe forwardes with her hands set
to the ground, even as if she stood upon foure feete. First with his
hands he touched her head and face, saying, Heere is the goodly head of
a Mule: then handling her disheveld haire, termed them the goodly mane
of a Mule. Afterwardes, touching the body, armes, legs, and feete, gave
them all the apt names (for those parts) belonging to a Mule, nothing
else remaining, but onely the forming of the taile, which when Pietro
perceived, how John was preparing to fasten it on (having no way
misliked all his former proceeding:) he called to him, saying: Forbeare
Gossippe John, my Mule shal have no taile at all, I am contented to have
her without a taile.
How now Gossip Pietro? answered John, What hast thou done? Thou hast
mard all by this unadvised speaking, even when the worke was almost
fully finished. It is no matter Gossip (answered Pietro) I can like my
Mule better without a taile, then to see it set on in such manner.
The fond yong woman, more covetously addicted to gayne and commodity,
then looking into the knavish intention of her Gossip John; began to
grow greatly offended.
Beast as thou art (quoth she to her Husband) why hast thou
overthrowne both thine owne good Fortune and mine? Diddest thou ever see
a Mule without a taile? Wouldst thou have had him make me a monster?
Thou art wretchedly poore, and when we might have bin enriched for ever,
by a secret knowne to none but our selves, thou art the Asse that hast
defeated all, and made thy friend to become thine enemy. Gossippe John
began to pacifie the woman, with solemne protestations of his still
continuing friendship, albeit (afterwards) there was no further desiring
of any more Mulemaking: but Gossip Pietro fel to his former Trading
onely with his Asse, as he was no lesse himselfe, and hee went no more
with Gossip John to the Faires in Apuglia, neyther did he ever request,
to have the like peece of service done for him.
Although there was much laughing at this Novell, the Ladies
understanding it better, then Dioneus intended that they should have
done, yet himselfe scarsely smiled. But the Novels being all ended, and
the Sunne beginning to loose his heate; the Queene also knowing, that
the full period of her government was come: dispossessing her selfe of
the Crowne, shee placed it on the head of Pamphilus, who was the last of
all to be honoured with this dignity; wherefore (with a gracious smile)
thus she spake to him.
Sir, it is no meane charge which you are to undergo, in making amends
(perhaps) for all the faults committed by my selfe and the rest, who
have gone before you in the same authority; and, may it prove as
prosperous unto you, as I was willing to create you our King. Pamphilus
having received the Honor with a chearfull mind, thus answered. Madam,
your sacred vertues, and those (beside) remaining in my other Subjects,
will (no doubt) worke so effectually for me, that (as the rest have
done) I shall deserve your generall good opinion. And having given order
to the Master of the Houshold (as all his predecessors had formerly
done, for every necessary occasion; he turned to the Ladies, who
expected his gracious favour, and said.
Bright Beauties, it was the discretion of your late Soveraigne and
Queene, in regard of ease and recreation unto your tyred spirits, to
grant you free liberty, for discoursing on whatsoever your selves best
pleased: wherefore, having enjoyed such a time of rest, I am of opinion,
that it is best to returne once more to our wonted Law, in which
respect, I would have every one to speake in this manner to morrow.
Namety, of those men or women, who have done any thing bountifully or
magnificently, either in matter of amity, or otherwise. The relation of
such worthy arguments, wil (doubtlesse) give an addition to our very
best desires, for a free and forward inclination to good actions,
whereby our lives (how short soever they bee) may perpetuate an
ever-living renowne and fame, after our mortall bodies are converted
into dust, which (otherwise)
are no better then those of bruite beasts, reason onely
distinguishing this difference, that as they live to perish utterly, so
we respire to reigne in eternity. Theame was exceedingly pleasing to the
whole Company; who being all risen, by permission of the new King, every
one fel to their wonted recreations, as best agreed with their owne
disposition; untill the houre for Supper came, wherein they were served
very sumptuously. But being risen from the Table, they began their
dances, among which, many sweet Sonnets were enterlaced, with such
delicate Tunes as moved admiration. Then the King commanded Madam
Neiphila, to sing a song in his name, or how her selfe stood best
affected. And immediatly with a cleare and rare voice, thus she began.
THE SONG
In the Spring season,
Maides have best reason,
To dance and sing;
With Chaplets of Flowers,
To decke up their Bowers,
And all in honour of the Spring.
I heard a Nimph that sate alone,
By a fountaines side:
Much her hard Fortune to bemone,
For still she cride:
Ah! Who will pitty her distresse,
That findes no foe like ficklenesse?
For truth lives not in men:
Poore soule, why live I then?
In the Spring season, etc.
Oh, How can mighty Love permit,
Such a faithlesse deed,
And not in justice punish it
As treasons meed?
I am undone through perjury,
Although I loved constantly:
But truth lives not in men,
Poore soule, why live I then?
In the Spring season, etc.
When I did follow Dyans traine,
As a loyall Maide,
I never felt oppressing paine,
Nor was dismaide.
But when I listened Loves alluring,
Then I wandred from assuring.
For truth lives not in men:
Poore soule, why live I then?
In the Spring season, etc.
Adiew to all my former joyes,
When I lived at ease,
And welcome now those sad annoies
Which do most displease.
And let none pitty her distresse,
That fell not, but by ficklenesse,
For truth lives not in men,
Alas! why live I then?
In the Spring season,
Maides have best reason,
To dance and sing;
With Chaplets of Flowers,
To decke up their Bowers,
And all in honour of the Spring.
This Song, most sweetly sung by Madame Neiphila, was especially
commended, both by the King, and all the rest of the Ladies. Which being
fully finished, the King gave oder, that everie one should repaire to
their Chambers, because a great part of the night was already spent.
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